Evoking Passions
by googooplex100
Summary: Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last few months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together.Post S6. A/U
1. Chapter 1

**_Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together._**

_Rated: M for language and mature themes._

_They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that. This is almost exclusive Callie and Arizona, the other GA characters do pop up from time to time but please don't be counting on a fully fledged GA episode here._

_If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly._

_Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have zero medical knowledge. Enjoy._

_**Disclaimer**: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc. _

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**1**

"_I like my life the way it is. I don't want it to change. I thought I liked you in it. I hope I'm not wrong."_

Each word seemed to slash at her, as vicious as a blade of steel. Arizona's face was cold and resolute, her eyes opaque and Callie felt herself physically shrink from the onslaught, wondering how she had got it so very badly wrong. Wondering how she could make the pain just stop.

The blonde stood and walked out, ignoring Callie's pleas.

Arizona walked away.

Callie jerked awake, her heart hammering in her chest.

It was only a dream.

It was only a dream.

She knew that it was more than just a dream, it was a memory. An event traumatic enough to be welded to her subconscious.

Blindly, she reached out, shaking and found Arizona's hand, curled in the space between their bodies.

Callie clasped it, needing to know that the woman who slept beside her was real. The unutterable torment of the dream slowly began to ebb away.

"Cal? You ok?" Arizona's voice was husky from sleep as she rolled over.

Callie swallowed hard and tried to still the wild beating in her chest.

"It's ok, I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

Arizona snuggled into Callie, placing her head on her partners warm bosom and lay there for half a second before sitting up fully.

"Baby, you're trembling. What's wrong?" Arizona leaned over Callie and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, stroking the dark hair away from the face of the woman she loved.

Callie took another deep breath and forced a small smile to her lips, willing the tremors to go away.

"Just a bad dream, hon. I'm ok."

"Was it about Gary Clarke?"

They had both gone through a spate of sleepless nights and tortured dreams in the aftermath of the Seattle Grace Mercy West shootings, but it had been months since either one of them had woken up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, dreaming of the madman who roamed the halls of the place they had once felt so safe in.

"No. No, it was nothing, Arizona, let's just go back to sleep." Callie lay still and closed her eyes, hoping that Arizona would let the matter drop.

Though it was still quite dark out, the faint glow of the street lights illuminated Callie's face; to Arizona she looked like a work of art, both wondrous and dramatic, a majestic Latin noblewoman from a different age, a different time.

But she was too still, her face as immobile as a sculpture, the fire that always lurked in her dark eyes was hidden behind her closed lids and Arizona felt a flash of irrational panic. Something had disturbed her so much that it had tortured her unconscious mind and scared her into wakefulness. It clearly wasn't _nothing._

"Calliope, baby, please tell me what's wrong?" She cupped her warm cheek, her thumb stroking the corner of her incredibly mobile lips.

Callie swallowed again and finally opened her eyes, looking up into the darkened room, her eyes unerringly finding Arizona's blue gaze. The concern and love was clear to see and Callie again felt the relief that the anguish of her dream was in the past.

She shook her head mutely, not knowing how to say the words. Not wanting to remember that time, not so long ago, when they had lost each other.

Instinctively, Arizona knew what was wrong and felt a twist of pain shoot through her.

She had been cruel to Callie, hard and unyielding. Unwilling to compromise in the slightest.

At the time, she thought that she was protecting her way of life. But in retrospect, she had been scared of the unknown, of something that she had never wanted because it was something that she thought she could never have. Lesbians had babies all the time but somehow, she hadn't thought that it was something she could do. And so, it became something that she didn't want to do.

The shocking incident that had brought them back together had also forced them to confront their fears and talk about their insecurities with each other. They were in a better place than they had been before, they were stronger. But they were human and sometimes old fears came back for no good reason.

"I love you, my darling and I'm not going to leave you." She made the declaration simply, her words clear, making Callie hear them through the mist of her nightmare.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." Arizona leaned forward and grazed her lips gently across Callie's wanting her to feel the depth of her emotions through her words and her touch.

Callie pulled Arizona to her chest and held her tight, murmuring quietly, almost reverently.

"I love you so much. I love you so much ..."

* * *

Callie poured two cups of coffee and checked her watch. Clad in her bath robe, she'd already had a shower and dried her hair and had about 40 minutes before her shift started. She wanted to spend a bit of time having breakfast with Arizona before she left.

Despite the shitty night she had, Callie wasn't overly tired but her mind was troubled. Undoubtedly, her split with Arizona a few months ago had been the single hardest thing she had ever endured; Erica Hahn's unexpected departure, George's betrayal and tragic death, even her estrangement from her family hadn't compared to the gut-wrenching, almost primeval loss of Arizona. But they had worked hard and got over it. Even though it had taken a gun-toting, grief-stricken madman to make them see that they needed each other.

They had got over it.

So where the sam hill had that nightmare come from?

Callie was no Freudian, but she figured that something must have been playing on her mind for that specific memory to come back and haunt her.

Carrying a tray laden with the coffee, juice, fruit and croissants, Callie walked back into the room that they shared and couldn't help but smile at the sight that greeted her.

Her lover had clearly woken up briefly and fallen back asleep and was now sprawled across the bed on her back, arms out flung and hair everywhere.

Arizona was beautiful when she was asleep.

She was beautiful all the time, always, but there was something that Callie found both angelic and unbearably erotic about the tumbled blonde curls and soft pink lips of a sleeping Arizona. She had a habit of wetting her lips and making a very soft moaning sound in her sleep that invariable got Callie hot and bothered at the most inopportune of times.

Callie placed the tray down on the chest of draws and sat beside her sleeping beauty and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Morning, sweetie," Callie smiled as Arizona's lashes fluttered for a second before opening wide, the blue irises as deep and tranquil as the Aegean.

"Every time. Every time." Callie murmured quietly and leaned in to steal another kiss, this time a little bit longer, a little bit deeper, her tongue softly brushing against Arizona's.

She could feel the smile on the blonde's mouth and sunk in just a little more.

Arizona blinked slowly and stretched, her lithe body moving sensuously against Callie's in such a way that the orthopaedic surgeon wondered if she could risk being late for her shift this morning.

"Every time, what?" Arizona asked, smiling slightly at the intent expression on Callie's face. They both

knew what was on her mind right now.

She watched as the desire left Callie's eyes to be replaced by something else, something so intense that Arizona hesitated to name it.

Callie bit her lip for a second and Arizona thought that she might not answer but her gaze didn't flinch or waver and she shrugged, almost helplessly.

"Every time I look into your eyes, that crystal blue gaze, I... I just want to drown in them."

Arizona took a second to luxuriate in the love that encompassed her and then sat up and wrapped her arms around Callie and leaned close.

"You do realise that the feeling is completely mutual, right?" Arizona loved nothing more than to sink into the deep warm chocolate molasses of Callie's gaze. She found it hypnotic, soothing and often, more than often, if she was honest, the passion that burnt in those dark eyes had brought her to a shuddering release.

Sinking her hands into the long dark hair, Arizona decided to steal a few kisses of her own and slowly sucked Callie's full, rosy lower lip into her mouth, her tongue teasing and her teeth gently grazing. She released Callie's lip and ever so slowly stroked her tongue along the length's of her lover's and smiled again as she heard Callie's breathing change.

She knew it wasn't fair to start something she couldn't finish, Callie had a shift in half an hour but the lure of the warm curves, the hands that were gripping her waist, the mouth that was greedily feeding on hers, all these things clouded her mind, wreaked any noble intention and as one of her hands gripped a handful of black hair, the other found its way to cup a heavy breast; her thumb flicking on the already hardened nipple. Callie's moan galvanised her and with minimal effort, Arizona pushed her back on the bed and snaked herself between Callie's thighs, her knee pressed firmly against Callie's enflamed core.

"Oh God...Arizona, what are you doing to me?" Callie ground out, cupping Arizona's pert behind, her strong hands kneading the soft flesh like it was dough, the tips of her fingers straying ever closer , through the tiny shorts , to where Arizona needed her most.

"Honey... you ...really...don't ...know?" Each word was interspersed with an open-mouthed kiss along Callie's neck and throat.

Arizona flicked her tongue along the indentation of Callie's pulse point and felt the wild flutter under her tongue. She moved down just a little and sunk her teeth in the swell of one of Callie's breast and felt the woman rise underneath her.

Callie slipped her hand under the shorts and toyed with Arizona, her fingers merely skating around where Arizona really, really needed them to go.

"You know I've got work soon," she bit out as Arizona ground her thigh into the slick, hot juncture between Callie's thighs sending bolts of sheer passion through every nerve in her body.

"Baby, I know but I just want ..." Arizona trailed off as Callie stroked her, not quite there but close, so close.

"Mmmm? Tell me what you want?" Callie asked, a glint of pure devilment in her eyes.

Arizona started this and now she suspected that she had bitten off more than she could chew, all she could focus on was her thigh that was writhing up against the heat that Callie was emitting and the slow, stroking fingers that were sending her to oblivion.

"I just want a little sugar, baby, that's all," Arizona panted.

"You want some sugar in your bowl?" Callie asked looking up at the flushed face of her lover. Arizona nodded, her eyes deep azure with passion, her lips deeply pink and full. Her hair fell in waves over Callie, who was going through sheer hell to hang on. Arizona was still in her tank top and Callie could see her nipples protruding and the dusky pink of her areola clearly visible through the light cotton.

Wordlessly, Callie flipped Arizona over and pulled her top off, her mouth going dry at the sight. Arizona wriggled out of her shorts and lay back, staring intently at Callie. She stretched out one leg and hooked it behind Callie's back, opening herself up, with complete abandon.

"I need you, Calliope. I need you now."

The simplicity of the words hit Callie, with the force of a sledgehammer and she almost flung herself on Arizona, needing to give her everything she desired. Though there were only a few inches difference in height, Callie knew that she was so much stronger than Arizona and sometimes was worried that the force of her passion and loving making might actually hurt the blonde. But Arizona was tough and on more than one occasion had whispered in Callie's ear to go deeper, to be harder, to be rougher.

Callie's mouth latched onto one of those glorious breasts and took as much of it into her mouth and in the same instant sunk two fingers straight into the burning heart of Arizona's need.

Arizona's body half rose off the bed, her back arching and almost dislodged Callie. She also let out a throaty moan of satisfaction, her nails raking along Callie's back as they quickly found a rhythm; hard, fast and dirty.

Callie released the breast, knowing that she probably left a bruise and hooked her free arm around Arizona's waist, getting to her knees and positioned Arizona's legs around her, allowing her deeper access.

Arizona flung her arm around Callie's neck and held on tight as she rode each thrust. Her face was buried in the smooth olive shoulder and she muffled her increasingly loud cries of encouragement and pleasure in the toned skin.

"Is this enough sugar?" Callie growled into Arizona's ear, each thrust of her fingers a little deeper than the one before.

Arizona's blonde hair was dark with sweat and plastered to her face, she opened her eyes and they glittered with an almost feral passion.

She sunk her teeth into Callie's shoulder and without warning slid her fingers into Callie's slick and waiting sex.

"Oh you bitch, that's ...soooo ... gooood." Callie was so close she could barely get the words out as Arizona firmly stroked Callie's hot, moist centre.

Unable to keep her eyes open she began to massage Arizona's clit with her thumb and at almost the same moment, Arizona began flicking her fingers inside Callie between thrusts. Their bodies moved together, a sheen of perspiration covering them as breasts and stomachs and thighs melded as they became one.

The sensations coursing through both women was sending them, inexorably closer to the edge of their own personal precipice and Arizona, feeling the shockwaves begin to tear away at the outer edges of her sanity buried her free hand in Callie's hair and pulled hard, forcing her to open her eyes.

Callie eyes were heavy-lidded and almost molten black, her beautiful mouth stretched in a wordless, silent gasp of pleasure.

"Look at me. Come with me, Calliope. Come with me."

Callie crushed her mouth against Arizona and threw the last remnants of control to the wind even as she felt Arizona unravel completely.

They finally collapsed on the bed, arms and legs entwined, panting and shivering with the aftershocks of their multiple orgasms.

Arizona placed sloppy kiss on what turned out to be Callie's bicep, she was sprawled over her and showed no intention of moving anytime soon.

"Baby, that was ... "

"Good, huh? Callie was amused at the awe in Arizona's voice, even though she shared it.

"Good, really doesn't cover it. That was like ... like a class 5 tornado." Arizona flopped over onto her back and screwed up her eyes trying to think.

"A tornado? That's it?" Callie sat up and pushed her hair out of her eyes, mock disdain for the comparison on her face. She reached over and grabbed a glass of juice, offering it to Arizona, whose eyes lit up at the breakfast tray.

"Oh you sweetheart, you brought me breakfast in bed." Arizona flashed a smile and Callie smiled and shook her head. Despite what they had just shared, the smile on her lovers face made her heart thump hard in her chest. She really was putty in Arizona's hands.

"I brought you breakfast in bed AND I gave you mind-altering sex and the best you can come up with is a class 5 tornado?" she said, trying to prove to herself that she wasn't completely whipped.

Arizona held on to the glass with both hands and took a long gulp of juice and tried to think. In truth, her mind, as much as her body had been turned to complete and utter mush. She could not think straight; even now, there were still tiny little tremors shooting through her and though she was completely sated, for now, the sight of Callie's incredible body was distracting.

"Umm a volcano?" she offered, beaming at Callie, the dimples coming out in full force.

"If we're going down the natural disaster route, again, I have to admit, hon, I'm a little disappointed" Callie broke off a piece of croissant and popped it in Arizona's mouth.

She deliberately didn't check the time. She was going to be late for rounds and though she had no surgery scheduled for the morning, she did have charting to do and some research. But right now, she was going to be a little irresponsible and spend some time with her baby.

"An earthquake? A tsunami? A meteor?" Arizona offered squealing with laughter as Callie turned up her nose at each attempt.

"Come on, what could possible beat a meteor?"

Callie stood up and pressed a deep, drugging kiss into Arizona's mouth feeling the response from her immediately.

"Baby, we just went Super Nova and if you're good, we can do it again tonight." Callie grinned and finally looked at the clock. It was bad but not desperate; she would jump into the shower again, change, get to rounds and only be 15 minute late.

Arizona chewed her breakfast and ginned up a Callie.

"You are so competitive, only you would think of a Super Nova."

"Bite me," Callie stuck out her tongue and walked off to the shower.

"I already did," came the reply.

* * *

"It's morbid."

"No, it's mature and responsible."

"Just thinking about it gives me the creeps." Mark Sloan took a large bite out of his sandwich and leaned back, eying his buddy with suspicion.

"And since when did you become such a grown up?"

Callie looked down at her salad for moment and decided to answer him seriously.

"The same time you did, Mark. It changed everything. It changed everyone." Her voice was sombre; they were all trying to heal in their own different ways.

Mark, already rocked by his split with Little Grey, had watched impotently as she poured her heart out to a delirious man seeking not her but his ex-wife. Karev was on the mend with Lexie by his side and Mark, for once, had refrained from nurses, pharmaceutical reps and every manner of inappropriate sexual escapade.

"Yeah, ok but I still think it's morbid. What did Robbins have to say? You gonna have matching wills?"

"I haven't discussed it with her yet. I'm trying think things out; I don't want to rush things." Callie dropped her fork and pushed her salad away.

"We only just got back on an even keel; it's too early to ...to...to think about the future..."

She trailed off and a wistful almost yearning expression crossed her face.

"Are you thinking about getting knocked up now?" Mark asked, surprise colouring his tone.

"No, you idiot, what do you take me for?" Callie was irritated at him.

"Were you not paying attention to the copious amounts of tears, tantrums and depression that we both went through recently?" She didn't wait for him to answer.

"Arizona and I have talked, at length and honestly about having children and we will, in a few years and I'll be doing the carrying. I'm not talking about that. I want to ..."

"You want to marry her?" Mark filled in the obvious blank.

Callie nodded, wordlessly.

"And you think that it's too early to start thinking about it?"

"I really do love her. So much."

Mark frowned, he could see that she was close to tears but couldn't understand why.

"So what's the problem? She loves you, you know that, right?"

Callie slumped in her chair and looked around the busy cafeteria doctors, nurses, interns, sat, ate, read, chatted and got on with their lives the best they could.

Almost every member of staff had been affected in one way or another by the incident and there was on-going counselling that Richard Webber had made available for the all that needed it.

"It's not that. I feel guilty, Mark. I feel that I shouldn't have this."

Mark shrugged, his face bewildered.

"I wonder if we would have found a way through if it hadn't been for Gary Clarke? It almost feels like bad karma or something to have found so much happiness at the expense of so much horror and sorrow."

"Jeez, Torres you cannot think like that. You just can't." Mark said his words forcible, almost harsh.

"One thing has nothing to do with the other. You and Robbins are clearly both stubborn as mules but you would have found a way." He nodded his head emphatically.

"You would have."

Callie shrugged and thought about her nightmare the previous night.

"I don't know why, but I dreamt of one of our arguments last night, where she said she wasn't sure if she wanted me in her life. I think it hurt more now than it did at the time."

"Cal, you're over-thinking things, you know you are." Mark sighed.

"Look, run off to Canada or Hawaii or wherever and get married if that's what you want." He grinned lasciviously "I'll throw the bachelor party for you, we can get lesbian strippers."

Despite herself, Callie laughed.

"A bachelor party, Mark? With you? Really? I doubt Arizona would ever forgive me."

Mark picked up his tray and looked down at her, shaking his head in mock despair.

"You are so completely whipped. Seriously, who are you and what have you done with my bad-ass, hardcore buddy?"

Callie flipped him the finger and laughed as he stalked off.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

_Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together._

_Rated: M for language and mature themes._

_They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that._

_If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly._

_Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have zero medical knowledge. Enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc. _

**_Thank you for the feedback, since you've been so nice, I thought I'd add a little more. _**

* * *

**2**

A few days later, Callie and Arizona walked home from Joe's. Practically the whole hospital had crowded into the bar to unofficially welcome back Derrick, Alex and Owen. The surgeons had all recovered and returned to work, some months back but no one help felt like celebrating, especially in the midst of the suffering and loss.

But life went on, people recovered, they celebrated and they lived their lives.

The night was dark and quiet and Callie and Arizona walked the short distance back to their apartment, Arizona's arm looped through Callie's who had her hands shoved deep into her pockets. Her head was lowered and she stared at the pavement as they walked, murmuring quietly in response to Arizona's chatter.

Arizona chewed on her lip for a second as she took a sideways look at Callie's face, trying to peer through the curtain of dark hair that framed her pensive face.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you? Because I have to tell you, reading minds isn't one of my super powers."

"Bullshit, you can read my mind in your sleep," Callie replied absently, her eyes still glued downwards.

She seemed to realise that Arizona had slowed to a halt and was still waiting for a reply and raised her head, flashing a brilliant smile at the Paediatrics surgeon.

"I'm just thinking, that's all." She hugged Arizona's arm closer to her and began walking but stared when Arizona stood her ground.

"Maybe it's nothing, maybe I'm being a little over-sensitive but ..." Arizona trailed off and raised her eyebrows.

"You had a nightmare. Then we had the most amazing morning sex this side of the millennia and then you ...you kind of shut down...went away. You've been a little distant and I can't understand why."

Callie heaved a sigh and looked into the face of the woman she adored. She had once found Arizona so hard to read, to understand but now, the confusion was clear to see. That and her love. Now Callie could always see Arizona's love for her glowing, like a beacon in a stormy sea.

She _had _been a little introspective the last couple of days and clearly she hadn't hidden it particularly well.

Pulling her hand free, she tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind Arizona's ear and smiled again, a wry twist of her full lips, acknowledging Arizona's concern.

"I've been thinking about things, about us but I didn't mean to shut you out..." she tried to explain.

"Baby, just tell me what's on your mind." Arizona smiled, nodding her encouragement.

"I've decided to make a will." Callie stated baldly. "And an advance medical directive," she added a little nervously.

"I'm not asking you to do anything but I want you to be taken care of if anything should happen to me and I want you making my health care decisions if... well, you know." She finished on a rush and looked at Arizona's face anxiously. It wasn't that it was such a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it was what couples did but Callie knew that she was deliberately steering them in a direction that she wasn't 100% certain that Arizona was completely ready for.

Arizona opened her mouth and then closed it, tilting her head slightly.

"Was that was kept you so quiet this week?"

"Yes. No. Well, only partly." Callie couldn't tell how Arizona was taking the news. All she did was raise her eyebrows at her, a gentle questioning smile curved her lips.

_What the hell, right?_ Callie thought and went the whole hog.

"I want us to get a place of our own. A place that we both call home. I don't want to make the trip every other week to your place to pick up mail or the shirt you forgot. I want to come home to place where I know you'll always be."

Arizona listened silently, watching Callie's face become more and more animated as she talked, the fire in her eyes that had seemed banked down ignited again and her whole body buzzed with energy. She was struck again, at how miraculous, how breathtakingly stunning she found Calliope.

"We have this thing, Arizona," Callie continued, aware of Arizona's scrutiny but needing to express her thoughts, "this connection, this emotional, spiritual connection. My heart, my soul recognises yours anywhere, there's this invisible gossamer thread that's bound us together and, and..."

Callie ran out of steam and shrugged.

"I just want us to have a physical thing that ties us together as well. I want somewhere that we both call home."

Arizona smiled very slightly and leaned forward to brush her lips against Callie's. She leaned into the taller woman and whispered gently.

"I love you so much, right now, Callie and there's nothing I'd want more than to have a home with you. I don't care where, just as long as it's with you."

Callie released the breath that she hadn't realised that she was holding.

"Are you ok with the rest, the will?"

Arizona started walking and Callie fell in beside her, examining her face. A car drove past, its headlights lit up the street and Callie could see the sudden sheen of tears in Arizona's eyes.

"Arizona?"

"I honestly can't bear to think of a world that doesn't have you in it, living, breathing, loving me but if it gives you peace of mind, I'll sign it and we'll put it away and never talk about it again." Arizona turned to Callie and added, "At least not until the children come. And as for the advanced directive, I've got one as well. I was just waiting for the right time to talk to you about it. Just, please, please don't tell me you've got a DNR."

Callie nodded but couldn't get any words out. Her throat was tight with emotion and she blinked a few times to stop the tears from building up.

It was the first time Arizona had voluntarily mentioned children in their future. She knew that the blonde was still adjusting to the fact that she had agreed to parent with Callie but this was a major step. Perhaps it meant that she was accepting parenthood not as something she was doing for Callie, but something they were doing for each other.

Arizona pulled Callie to a sudden halt and flung her arms around her in a bear hug and then landed a huge sloppy one on her surprised mouth.

"What was that for?" Callie laughed at Arizona's sudden exuberance.

"We're getting a place together. Yay!"

Callie grinned at her and basked in the warmth of Arizona's love.

"Yay."

* * *

Callie read her pager and made her way to the ER. Arizona had paged her but seeing as she hadn't asked her to come to their favourite on-call room, she was guessing that she needed an ortho consult and not a midday quickie. Which was a shame.

She could see Arizona talking to a middle-aged couple, April Kepner taking notes by her side. Her face was sombre and though Callie couldn't hear the words spoken, the woman, who had to be some poor child's mother, crumpled at what was being said. April and the husband propped her up and led her away, quietly sobbing.

"What can I do to help?" Callie asked as she approached a curtained off cubicle.

Arizona looked up from her chart and smiled. It was a weary, unhappy smile and Callie knew that whatever it was, it couldn't be good. She turned to April instructing her to complete the history and check up on the patient.

"Josiah Benton, 16 years old, appears to have broken every bone in his right hand. It was crushed between a fender and a brick wall." She looked at Callie and shrugged, "Parking the family car, needed to open the gates and forgot the parking brake. The car rolled towards him and ..."

Callie nodded. It would probably be an intricate and time-consuming procedure but hardly life threatening. She couldn't understand Arizona's internalised distress.

Arizona made some notes in the chart her eyes fixed on the page in front of her.

"He was due to start a pre-college programme at Julliard, studying the violin." She finally looked up and sank her hands into her pockets.

"Full scholarship, wanted to be a concert violinist, apparently a very promising talent. The parents are crushed and they're worried about how this will affect him. It's something he's wanted all his life."

Callie's heart sank. It was one thing to fix bones, it was completely another thing to try and repair every last bit of bone and nerve damage that might have been done to the fragile hand of a teenager.

"I've explained to Josiah's parents that with the level of muscle bone and nerve damage, he's likely to experience some considerable loss in mobility..."

That explained the mother's collapse.

"Let's look at the films first, ok?"

Callie looked at the films and chewed her lip, thinking hard. It was every bit as bad as Arizona had intimated but Callie loved a challenge and the longer she looked at the films, the more she was convinced that this kid didn't need to give up his dreams.

"Arizona, there's a possibility that I can do more than just patch up the bones and send Josiah home." Callie explained as she pointed to various points on the film.

"I need to do a little research but we might be able give this kid a shot at playing at Carniege Hall."

Arizona looked from the films back to Callie's face.

"You really think it's possible?"

"Going in blind, I'd give it maybe a 40% success rate, but give me an hour to check out a procedure they did at Barts in London and order some more pictures, an MRI would help, perhaps even a 3D scan as well."

Arizona smiled as she could hear the enthusiasm in Callie's voice as she spelt out her plans. Most of her colleagues took pride in their work; they were interested in the outcome of their patient's lives. But Callie took this commitment to a different level. Callie wouldn't think twice of going the extra hundred miles for her patients; she cared like crazy for them, investing everything of herself, her whole heart sometimes, in mending their broken bones. Arizona thought of how Callie had mended _her_ broken heart. But now was time to be a professional support to the Orthopaedic surgeon, not a besotted and more than a little horny girlfriend.

"The surgery will be long and difficult. We'll have to order a specialist titanium alloy to Josiah's exact specifications."

40 minutes later Callie detailed her plans to Josiah and his parents as Arizona looked on.

Callie turned and spoke directly to Josiah, smiling at him; projecting all the confidence she could to bolster his courage and allay his obvious fears.

"I'm not going to lie to you. If this works, you're still going to have months of physio. You're going to need to build up additional muscle in your forearm to have the extra mobility and range of movement and sensitivity that you need in your fingers. There's going to be a lot of hard work involved."

"Don't you think it took hard work to get a full scholarship to Julliard?" The boy, not quite a man yet, spat out, his dark eyes flashing.

"Josiah, manners." Amelia Benton snapped, sending an apologetic glance in Callie's direction. Callie shook her head briefly, shaking off the boy's outburst. If she were faced with the prospect of never going into surgery again, she'd be more than a little snippy.

"I can only imagine how hard you have to work, practising for hours a day, every day, to get to where you are. But you're a musical athlete, Josiah not a physical one. After this surgery, you're going to have learn to be both." She pulled up a stool and sat down using her own arm as a template.

"I'm going to put very thin, very flexible rods here, here and here," she pointed to various spots on her forearm. I'm then going to do something similar in your fingers; this will help reinforce the broken bones and give you the strength you need to play for long periods of time." She looked up to make sure that everyone was following her." She paused for half a second at the admiration that shone out of Arizona's eyes. Willing her blush to go away, she turned back to Josiah.

"As far as the scans show, there's minimal nerve damage, what little there is can be repaired. This is a good thing. But for all this to work, Josiah, for you to play the violin the way you want to, these muscles will need to be developed. Considerably." She dropped the smile and looked at him seriously.

"Are you up for it?"

"Dude, why aren't we in surgery already?" Josiah burst out eagerly. He shot a look at his parents and quickly amended.

"I mean, Yes. Yes, ma'am, I am. When can we start?"

Callie laughed at his eagerness and stood up. She admired the kid's courage and tenacity. He knew what he wanted and was willing to do whatever it took to reach his goal. She patted Josiah on the shoulder. She admired him a lot.

"I've made some calls and we should get the right materials in a few hours and then we'll be ready for surgery first thing tomorrow."

Callie shared a smile with Josiah and his parents and made to leave but sobered upas a final thought occurred to her.

"There is one final thing that you need to be aware of." She looked at the parent's faces and saw the fear come rushing back.

"It's not too bad, it shouldn't be," she reassured them. "But you need to be aware that African-American skin is prone to forming keloids. It's like a lumpy but smooth scar tissue. There's very little research to indicate why this happens or predict when it might happen. We may need to get a Plastics consult after the surgery."

"If you can help me play again, I'll happily live with a few scars," Josiah was earnest as he looked up between Callie and Arizona.

"I just want to be able to play again."

* * *

"Wow, I'm super-excited about this; it's pretty revolutionary, right?"

They had left the family and were walking towards the nurse's station, Arizona fairly bouncing beside Callie. She had spent the previous evening going through the procedure, making sure that the rods were the exact specifications required and talking the op through again with Josiah.

The Orthopaedic surgeon grinned at the blonde's boundless enthusiasm.

"One step at a time. We need to see if the surgery works first and then whether he can use his hand the way he wants to." Callie was excited but was also cautious about the prognosis. It was one thing to successfully carry out this surgery, but she wouldn't be satisfied until she heard Josiah playing his violin like a maestro.

"Yeah, but still ..." Arizona refused to be anything other than hugely impressed with her bad assed girlfriend. Predictably, her pager went off.

"Gotta go?" Callie queried, seeing Arizona's moue of disappointment.

"Uh huh. RTA. Ruptured spleen in a 6 year old." She hooked up her pager and reached up on tip toe to plant a gentle kiss on Callie's smooth cheek. Stroking the soft skin, she smiled into Callie amused eyes and grinned.

"I will come find you the minute I get out of surgery or I'll be in the gallery, leading the cheering section."

"Go. Be awesome, I'll see you later." Callie took a quick look round and seeing that the coast was clear, took a quick kiss from Arizona's lips.

* * *

A few hours later, Callie was in the lounge busy checking the chart and diagrams for the surgery, mentally going through the procedure in her mind.

She'd hoped to see Arizona before she started but an emergency had pulled her into another surgery and she was still busy.

Mark strolled in and grinned at Callie.

"You looking forward to 10 hours on your feet, Torres? I swear you're a glutton for punishment."

Callie stuck her tongue out at him.

"You'd do the same, Sloan. If you had the skills."

"Funny..." He was about to respond further when a petite woman in scrubs entered the room.

Callie didn't immediately recognise her but smiled and caught a faint expression flicker over Mark's face.

"Dr Torres?" she asked of Callie.

"That's right. I'm sorry... I don't believe we've met."

The woman smiled and Callie wondered if Mark had checked her out yet. She was probably in her mid thirties and had incredible bone structure, incredibly high cheekbones and a delicate jaw. She had what looked to be russet hair stuffed under her scrub cap and the most unusual green eyes. She was a very striking woman.

She offered her hand and Callie stood up to shake it. She was slightly surprised and a little impressed with the firm handshake the tiny woman offered. She couldn't be entirely sure, but it seemed that she also held the handshake for a faction of a second longer than was strictly necessary.

"I wanted to introduce myself to you. I'm Elizabeth Bennett; I'll be your anaesthetist on the Benton case today, Chief Webber just assigned me to you." She nodded at Mark who responded with a slight smile.

"Oh, right. What happened to Ben Warren?" Callie asked a little nonplussed at the sudden switch.

"I understand that he's been taken sick and had to go home." The woman leaned against a table and gave Callie a frank stare.

"I know that you've probably got a crew together that understand what you need from them and it's a pain to be landed someone strange at the last minute but I've read through the notes and checked Josiah's chart and we should be just fine."

Callie nodded absently. Something the woman said caught her attention.

"I'm sorry, did you say Elizabeth Bennett?"

The woman laughed lightly, a soft melodic sound and rolled her eyes.

"Yes. Mother was a Jane Austin fan, but most people call me Liz."

"Right," Callie nodded and paused. Mark had been uncharacteristically quiet during this exchange. Something he never did in the presence of a beautiful woman.

For the merest hint of time, Callie's thoughts went to Arizona and she wondered if she was on her way. It felt as if she was nearby.

"I have to say, I'm really excited to see you work, I've heard a lot of good things about you." Liz Bennett smiled again and raised an eyebrow.

"You have quite the reputation, Dr Torres. Or may I call you Calliope?"

"Umm, people call me Callie, actually," Callie responded, trying to ignore Mark's muffled laughter. She had a sneaking suspicion that he knew something she didn't.

She crossed her arms in front of her and then wished she hadn't. It made her look defensive and there was nothing for her to be defensive about.

"And reputation...?" she prompted. The way the woman said it, it almost sounded laden with innuendo. But that was just her imagination, right? This woman really wasn't coming on to her 30 seconds after meeting her?

"For being one of the very best when it comes to orthopaedic surgeries. I've heard that these hands can work wonders."

Amazingly the woman actually trailed her small hand along Callie's arm from her elbow to her hand, where she let it remain.

Mark's eyes bulged and Callie, after a stunned pause, carefully removed the hand from hers and allowed it to drop.

Yeah, Liz Bennett was hitting on her.

Terrific.

Fixing a pleasant smile on her face, Callie decided to kept things professional and ignoring the frankly inappropriate touching, she responded lightly.

"I try my best. I'm pretty passionate about my work."

Liz gave her a long stare, her unusual green eyes sparkling with amusement and something else.

"I imagine that you're pretty passionate about lots of things."

Callie blinked. She really should have seen that coming.

Faintly she could hear Mark choking and hoped he'd swallowed his adam's apple. She also wished the ground would open up and swallow him. She knew she was never going to hear the end of this.

She opened her mouth, this time to make it clear that she wasn't available but a couple of attending surgeons came in and milled about, ruining any chance of ending the conversation satisfactorily.

"I'll see you in the OR, Callie." Liz Bennett smiled lightly and looked briefly and Mark before winking at him and walking out.

Callie spun to face a laughing Mark Sloan.

"Did you put her up to that, Mark?" Callie didn't know whether to groan out loud or smack him in the face. She was too shocked to feel any amusement and it didn't even cross her mind to be flattered.

She also felt slightly uneasy, ever since the shooting, Callie had developed a weird kind of sixth sense when it came to Arizona. She now had the strangest suspicion that her girlfriend might have witnessed Dr Liz Bennett's little performance.

She looked over at the small window in the door but there was no one there. She knew that she'd be hopping mad if she'd come across some beautiful woman flirting with Arizona.

"Mark, I'm waiting?" she shot him a hard stare. He looked like he was enjoying himself way too much and she held up hope that the waaaaay over the top flirtation was just a prank.

"I swear I didn't but I have to say, I really like her style. Putting it out there, right off the bat, you gotta admire her...balls." He smirked at her.

"Wait, how the hell does she know I'm gay but not that I'm with someone. The way this hospital talks, Dr Elizabeth _-my-mothers- a- Jane- Austen -fan_ Bennett must know about me and Arizona." Callie was perplexed.

"Torres, don't be naive. Dr Bennett looks like she'd crawl over a few bodies to get to what she wants, incumbent girlfriend notwithstanding." He gave Callie an amused look.

"Great, just what this hospital needs, another whore." Callie rolled her eyes and went back to her notes.

"Cal, all I'm saying is, she's hot. You're hot. Robbins, for all her chirpy demeanour, is also hot. You give me front-row seat to a threesome and I'll die a happy man. Ouch."

Callie, realising that she couldn't actually break any of his bones, poked him hard in the chest.

"Do not piss off Arizona, by teasing her about this, you hear me Sloan?"

"Awww, you're no fun." Mark rubbed the sore spot on his chest and ambled away.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

_Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together._

_Rated: M for language and mature themes._

_They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that._

_If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly._

_Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have zero medical knowledge. Enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc. _

_**Thanks for the comments. Glad you're enjoying the story.**_

* * *

**3**

Arizona's jaw ached.

It ached a lot.

Primarily because she had been grinding her teeth for the better part of the day. And if she didn't already know, she also learned that grinding one's teeth usually gave rise to a thunderous headache.

Not to mention unbearable tension in the neck and shoulders.

And the acid turbulence in the gut.

Arizona felt like shit.

She was scrubbing out after a surgery but her mind was fixed on what she had seen earlier that morning.

A small pale hand trailed along Callie's tanned forehand. There was a blatant sensuality in the gesture, an intimacy that screamed at Arizona. She had only been at the door for half a minute and Arizona, knew that she should have gone into the lounge and, if necessary, ripped the anaesthetist from limb to limb or, at the very least staked her claim to Callie or anything that didn't involve her turning around and basically running away. In her heart, Arizona knew that she was just as angry by the fact that _she_ hadn't confronted the woman, if only to smile and warn her off, as she was by the touching.

"Hey, that was good work in there, Dr Robbins, we should do it again sometime."

"What?" she whipped her head round at the voice, her voice a harsh snarl.

"God, Arizona, what's wrong?" Teddy took a step backwards, shocked at the response to her teasing comment. She and Arizona had just finished a particularly tricky heart surgery on a 9 year old.

Arizona blinked, willing the anger down and forced a smile to her lips as she dried her hands.

"I'm sorry Teddy, I was miles away. What did you say?"

"I was just complimenting you on today's work...but are you ok? You look a ... little upset." Teddy said carefully, making the understatement of the century.

Upset didn't even begin to cover it, Arizona looked like she was about to smack the snot out of the first person to look at her cross-eyed.

"Umm, just a little distracted," Arizona prevaricated, examining her hands carefully.

"Hey, Arizona, awesome friend here, remember? Tell me what's wrong?"

Arizona took a deep breath. She knew that she was blowing the incident out of all proportion, that this level of jealousy was juvenile and that she trusted Callie implicitly. But the image replayed itself again and again. A hand that wasn't hers was stroking Callie's flesh, feeling its delicious warmth; fingers that weren't hers were entwined with the strong, shapely fingers of her woman...

"Arizona!" Teddy prompted, shaking her out of the continuous loop that just wouldn't quit.

Arizona shook her head and then shrugged.

"You remember me talking about my green-eyed monster? Well, its just taken up residence and I'm having a hard time not acting out right now."

"Callie? Really?" Teddy said doubtfully.

"Not really, just something I saw that I didn't especially appreciate." Arizona tried to downplay her emotions, even as the image flashed through her mind again.

"Look, just talk to her about it, whatever it was. You trust Callie, right?" At Arizona's nod, Teddy patted her on the shoulder.

"So, take a deep breath, discuss things with her and send your green-eyed monster packing. Arizona, you know this."

Arizona smiled. It was what she had been telling herself all day.

"You do make an awesome friend, Teddy."

* * *

Callie was exhilarated.

She pulled out her keys and juggled the grocery bags she was carrying.

The surgery had been every bit as challenging as she had expected and then quite a bit more. The kid had not responded well to the anaesthetic and she had been faced with the options of cutting the surgery short and doing, what she considered a half-assed job or doing her absolute best, but in less than half the time. She had opted for the latter and worked like a demon against the clock. If that wasn't bad enough, Dr Liz Bennett had discovered late on that he was a sickle cell carrier, which also had implications on the length of the surgery.

4 and three quarters of an hour later Callie spoke to Mr and Mrs Benton to give them the news. The procedure had gone well. The metal rods had been fitted and now they had to let his bones heal before he could really start on his long road to recovery. She was surprised that Arizona hadn't made an appearance but hoped that she caught some of the procedure from the gallery.

"Hey, baby, I'm home."

Arizona was in the kitchen area, bent low, her head peering into a cabinet and offering Callie the most delectable view of her toned behind.

"Very nice," Callie murmured to herself, feeling the familiar tingle of awareness she got anytime she was in proximity to Arizona.

Hearing the door close, Arizona spun round and her gaze skated very briefly over Callie's face before looking at the groceries on the counter.

"Hey. I hear the surgery went well." Her tone was mild, pleasant even but detached and Callie's antenna immediately went up. Arizona was almost always full of positive sunny emotion. Her greeting just now was distinctly lacking in the sunny positive emotion column; Callie had heard her speak to a brick wall with more affection.

"Whoa, what's the matter?" She went straight over and put her hands on Arizona's shoulders.

"What? Nothing's the matter." Under the pretext of unloading the bags, Arizona moved away from Callie's embrace and bit down on her anger.

She hadn't been home long but the silence of the apartment had given her time to brood and the minute Callie came through the door, every last bit of sensible advice that Teddy had given her went straight out.

"No?" Callie watched her closely but gave Arizona her space.

"So why are you being all friendly and polite? I go to give you a hug and you move away? Really?"

"Why do you always forget half the groceries and then buy the most random things? There's no point in writing a shopping list if you never get what you're supposed to." Arizona lifted a box of cereal and ignored Callie's question.

They had fights occasionally, usually little ones. Silly fights over nothing and very rarely, they'd have a serious fight. Usually they could talk about it. But right now all Arizona could see was red. That and the hand of another woman on her girlfriend.

"Case in point," she shook the box, sorely tempted to throw it at Callie.

"Why the hell buy this? Nobody is going to eat this crap."

"I brought that crap because Yang asked me too. Arizona, leave the groceries alone and look at me for a minute. What the hell?" Callie kept her voice level. It wasn't the first time Arizona had picked a pointless fight because she was upset about something completely unrelated.

"What the hell?" Arizona slapped the offending box down and spun to face Callie, her eyes flashing with the pent up anger that had seethed through her all day long.

"You plan a surgery to last for 10 hours and you rush through it in half the time? Callie, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about my patient, Arizona. About what was best for him, turns out he's a sickle cell carrier. You know full well it's better to limit the exposure to the gases. This was a good thing." Callie shook her head, baffled.

"And whose idea was it to re-calculate the anaesthetic levels, yours?" Arizona snapped out harshly.

"Actually, it was. Are you seriously questioning my expertise, Arizona?" Callie ground her teeth and tried to hold on to her temper. Nothing would be solved if they both started screaming at each other.

"Callie, all I'm saying is that a little professional consideration wouldn't go amiss. You should have paged me the minute you got into difficulties. Josiah is my patient..."

"Arizona, you know Webber moved him to my service to free you up so you could do the heart kid with Teddy." Callie chewed on her lip for a second but decided to respond the veiled comment.

"And FYI, I didn't get into difficulties, I totally rocked that surgery. Oh and seriously, babes, way to congratulate me on an innovative procedure today. Thanks a lot." Callie kept the irritation out of her voice. She now had a good idea why Arizona was picking a fight but she was hoping that her obvious anger would fizzle out so that she could talk about the flirtatious anaesthetist.

Arizona knew that she was completely out of line but couldn't stop the words from falling out of her mouth, one hard unfair word after another. But all she could see again and again was that small white hand, trailing sensuously over the toned flesh of her girlfriends arm.

"Whatever." Arizona flung the word at Callie. Dismissive. Hurtful.

Callie's lips were drawn in a thin line and a crease formed between her brow at Arizona's words.

"Are you going to tell me exactly what the hell is bothering you or not?" Her words were flat and deliberate, devoid of the tension that was bubbling up inside her.

"What?" Arizona snapped, her anger rising at Callie's apparent coolness.

"This almighty outburst isn't about fruit loops or even a professional difference of opinion. You're mad at me about something and I promise you, you'll feel a whole lot better if you just spit it out."

Arizona stared at Callie and felt the sting of her sarcasm.

She _was_ angry and now she felt stupid in the face of Callie's calm expression, which made her even angrier.

Snatching up her car keys, she swung around and made for the door.

"You know what? Just forget it. I'm going to the movies." She flung the words over her shoulder, her hand already on the door handle.

"Arizona Robbins, don't you dare walk away from me." Callie's voice snapped out, hard and commanding; brooking no resistance.

"If you're mad at me, be mad at me. Yell at me. Throw things, if you must. But I swear to god, I won't have you walk away from me. Arizona." _Not again_

The last words merely echoed in Callie's head, she couldn't bring herself to say them out loud.

Arizona turned to face her and stood stock still at the tone, her chest heaving and the adrenaline coursing through her. Callie could be bossy on occasion; she could be a hardcore badass when she wanted to be. But this level of commanding presence was something she had never seen in her before.

It excited the living daylights out of Arizona.

Arousal and fury raged for supremacy within her and as she flung her keys down, Arizona couldn't tell which emotion won.

"What's bothering me is the fact that you let that insipid slut of an anaesthetist practically come all over you this morning." Arizona's eyes glittered with unconfined rage. She didn't care on tiny bit that her jealousy had got out of control.

"You let her touch you." She almost screamed the words out.

Callie had straightened up and observed Arizona with narrowed eyes. Somehow, she had known that Arizona had seen the interaction; she had instinctively felt Arizona's presence. Perhaps she might have expected some reaction from Arizona. Some teasing or a ribald joke. It was probably the first time, at least outside of a bar, that a woman had so blatantly hit on her. But she hadn't been prepared for this torrent of emotion.

"And you watched me remove her hand from my arm, Arizona. You watched me smile and be all professional."

"I don't care. I do not care. I don't want anyone's hands on you. I don't want to see women with their hands on your body." Arizona could hear the wild irrational possessiveness in her voice and wondered who she was becoming.

Finally a burst of emotion erupted in Callie's eyes turning them completely black with something undefined, something so primeval that Arizona felt a frisson of apprehension shoot through her even as another gush of moisture flooded her sex.

Callie moved towards Arizona so suddenly that the breath was knocked from her as her back smacked into the door. She slammed her body into Arizona's, breasts crushed against breasts, hip bones clashing and chests rising and falling rapidly with the unfettered, visceral tension that was consuming both women.

Callie's hand circled her throat, not quite squeezing and she pushed her knee between Arizona's thighs, the other hand pushing the skirt and panties aside and reaching her burning, wet core.

Arizona grabbed at Callie's wrist, trying to stop her, trying to think. She was so wet, so fucking turned on right now that the words wouldn't form.

"Callie, no... Please... Not when you're angry with me." Arizona swallowed, her anger subsumed by the force of the desire that now burnt through her aching, wanton core. Her mouth was dry and her heart was pounding; mad and wild, out of all rhythm.

Callie's hand slowed, infinitesimally and she lowered her mouth to Arizona's, and flicked her tongue out to ghost along the soft curve of Arizona's lower lip.

"Look at me, Arizona," she demanded, her voice gravelly and choked with emotion.

Arizona raised her eyes to Callie's and felt the rush of her arousal at the intensity of Callie's gaze.

"It's not anger that I feel for you. Not here. Not now. Do you understand me?"

Arizona nodded silently, believing her.

"The only hands I want on my body are yours." She leaned in closer, her breath hot and sweet on Arizona's lips.

"Tell me you understand me, Arizona." Callie's voice commanded and Arizona was powerless to deny her.

"I understand, Calliope."

"Good."

Callie thrust two long fingers deep inside Arizona, her thumb firmly pressed against the throbbing aching clit.

Arizona let out a breathy scream into Callie's neck as she felt the almost unbearable pleasure at the penetration. She gripped hold of Callie's shoulders as she raised a leg and wrapped it around Callie's waist, her hips thrusting wildly to the rhythm of her lover's hand. She flung her head back against the door, still feeling the tightness of Callie's hand around her throat. Neither one of them was particularly submissive but there was an undoubted extra element of passion caused by the faintest hint of menace in Callie's grip.

Callie stared deep into Arizona's eyes as she continued to thrust deeply into her; allowing no let up, no mercy. She was going to fuck her hard and for as long as they both could stand it.

She couldn't name the emotion that coursed through her right now; love, passion, desire, lust, none of them even began to match what she felt for the woman writhing and melting under her strong hand.

Arizona could be a little jealous on occasion but this level of possessiveness was something else. It wasn't pretty but Callie couldn't deny how it made her feel. Despite the fact that they were both fully clothed and that Arizona hadn't touched her intimately, Callie was wet through and through and was about to come. She curled a finger to graze the spongy mass within Arizona and allowed a tight smile to come to her lips at the frantic movements her actions incited.

Arizona's control went. Completely.

Her arms circled Callie's back and shoulders and she held on for dear life as her body took over.

She couldn't stop the screams, she just couldn't and in utter distraction she sunk her teeth into Callie's neck, trying to muffle herself as she came apart.

Dimly, in the far recesses of her consciousness, she could feel Callie shuddering her own release and was both shocked and awed each time it happened, that her own emotional response could spill over and trigger an orgasm in Callie.

Callie had dropped her forehead into Arizona's shoulder and absently pondered on the fact that the pain of Arizona's bite had actually pushed her clear over the edge. Maybe they should try a little BDSM once in a while. She widened her stance a little, bracing for the point when she would have to take all of Arizona's weight. Her fingers had finally stopped thrusting but were held in a vice grip as the blonde continued to spasm strongly.

The tremors didn't let up for a while and Arizona could see black spots jumping wildly in front of her eyes, as orgasm after orgasm slammed through her body, rolling her like a rag doll caught in a tidal wave. Her legs felt like they were made out of pure jelly as all remaining strength in her just fizzled away.

"Baby, I can't stand," she panted out, brokenly. She could feel tears squeezing out of her eyes and couldn't explain why. There was just too much emotion in her right now. Her body simply couldn't handle it.

"I've got you, babe," Callie breathed as she slowly, tortuously slid her fingers out of Arizona's still quivering core and wrapped her arms around Arizona's waist, holding her close and then lowering both their bodies to the ground.

She lifted her head and kissed Arizona hard and deep, knowing that they would both bruise a little at the brutal contact.

"I love you, Arizona." She said the words carefully as stroked the hair away from the blonde's face. "But, baby, you really pushed a few buttons today."

Arizona looked into Callie's face with regret.

"I'm sorry I was a shrew. I don't know what happened..."

She took a hiccupping breath.

"You rock me to my very core. I just lost my mind for some reason."

"OK, but we can't have mad and slightly violent sex each time you're jealous of some random woman, babes..."

At Arizona's arch look she sighed.

"OK, we can but I'd rather you talk to me first instead of going up in smoke." Callie got to her feet and helped the wobbly Arizona to stand.

She placed hands on the shorter woman's shoulders and examined her face closely.

Her beautiful eyes were still hooded and darkly turbulent from their love-making, her full pink lips, swollen from their kisses and her hair was mussed and wild.

She looked like she had been fucked hard and liked it.

Callie took a deep breath and dropped a gentler kiss on those soft pouty lips.

"Arizona, I know I don't need to say this, but I'm going to anyway. You never, _never_ need to question my heart. Everything I am, everything I want, is right here with you. That isn't going to change." She folded up Arizona's soft hand and placed it on her own chest. They could both feel the solid thump of the taller woman's heart.

"Every single beat is for you, Arizona. Every last one."

Arizona's eyes blinked slowly as she took in Callie's words.

Abstractly, she considered that Callie could have been a poet. There was often such a lyrical quality to her words that she wished she could write them down and read them over and over again.

"I do know that, Callie and my only excuse is that ... that..." Arizona finally shrugged and gave it up.

"OK. I don't have an excuse. That woman simply incensed me with her smiling and touching." She fiddled with Callie's blouse, her hand still resting on the Orthopaedic surgeons chest.

"I wanted to come in there and slap her into the middle of next week. No, to the end of next week," she amended, fiercely.

At Callie's raised eyebrows she squirmed a little but was defiant, her chin stuck out and eyes sparkling.

"Hey, have you met you? You're hot and intelligent and funny and kind and ... and _extremely_ hot. " Her hand tightened on Callie's blouse, pulling her down for a deep kiss, her tongue darting into Callie's warm moist mouth and getting lost in the sensations of her lips.

"I did mention that you're hot? And you're mine, baby. I can just about manage to share you with Mark and Bailey and Cristina and the others. But some bimbo anaesthetist who thinks she can crawl into your panties ..."

Callie placed a finger over Arizona's lips, halting her diatribe.

"Ain't never gonna happen. I promise." Callie decided it would be prudent not to mention that, despite her hugely inappropriate introduction, Dr Liz Bennett had been more than merely competent at her job during the difficult surgery. Callie also wondered if it was worth recounting to Arizona her conversation with Liz Bennett after their surgery. But the thought fled as the finger that she had placed over Arizona's lips had found its way into her mouth and was slowly being sucked.

A grin spread over Callie's face.

"I thought we were going to the movies?"

"Fuck the movies," Arizona growled as she leaned up and ran her tongue over the vivid bite marks she had left on Callie's neck.

"Hmmm, much rather fuck you." Callie swung her around and pushed her onto the sofa.

* * *

_Approximately an hour earlier._

Callie felt the burn in her neck, back and shoulders and stretched, cracking a few bones in her vertebrae to release the tension. She had been bent over Josiah's hand and arm in almost the same position for nearly 5 hours and right now a hot bath and maybe a massage, sounded really good.

As she scrubbed, Callie went back over the procedure and the complications that she and Dr Liz Bennett had encountered. Despite everything, the tiny anaesthetist knew her business and was able to translate Callie's rapid instructions into viable solutions for the surgery.

Under any other circumstance, Callie would have enjoyed working with the woman more often but after their recent introduction it would probably better all round if she kept the woman at arms length for the time being.

In a stroke of pretty rotten timing, the said Dr Bennett walked into the scrub room, and shot a smile at Callie. She still had her mask on and all that really could be seen was the crinkle at the corners of her eyes and the flash of merriment.

She tore off her cap and mask and shook out her long, curly hair, her head swaying from side to side, like she was in a shampoo ad. Liz Bennett then chose the sink next to Callie's to begin her scrub out.

_Really?_ _Now?_ Callie asked herself wearily.

But, there was no time like the present, so she decided to meet the challenge head on.

"Thank you, for today, Liz. Very good work. I was impressed."

_Good, that's good. Friendly, professional but aloof. _

"It bodes well that my skills impress you, Callie … in the OR that is." Liz drawled.

_Aw, fuck professional and aloof._

"Alright, will you just quit with the inappropriate flirting and the touching. Just quit it. It's not funny."

Callie burst out, her colour slightly high. With the exception of Arizona and a few drunken passes as Joe's that didn't really count, no woman had been so aggressive in pursuing her. Callie didn't like it.

"Pardon?" Liz was laughing at her, Callie could tell from the twinkle in those sea-green eyes.

Callie frowned and peered at her, still trying to work out if it was some elaborate gag of Mark Sloan's. She wouldn't put it past him.

"Don't pardon me. Don't flirt with me. I don't like it. I don't want it." Callie drew a breath and regarded the woman, who had resumed her scrub.

"And besides, you must know I'm with someone."

Liz Bennett shrugged and flashed a brazen smile up at Callie.

"So? You're not wearing a ring and you are show-stoppingly gorgeous. You really can't blame a girl for trying."

That stopped Callie in her tracks.

She took another deep breath and decided to try again.

"Ok. Thank you. That's sweet of you. I'm very flattered," she trotted out, her brain trying to come up with the right combination of words.

"But irrespective of whether I'm wearing a ring or not, I _am_ in a loving, committed relationship and I'm not looking for anyone else, I'm not interested in anyone else."

Callie took a deep breath, hoping to appeal to Liz's maturity, though, based on her recent behaviour, she wasn't really betting on a sure thing.

"We have the makings of a really good, professional, working relationship, Liz. I wish you wouldn't jeopardise it on something as fleeting as a passing attraction."

Liz rested her hands on the sink and considered Callie's face.

"Wow. That really was quite earnest, wasn't it, Calliope?" she mocked gently.

"It's Callie." Callie said shortly, wondering where the hell she went from here.

_Human Resources and a sexual harassment complaint? Fan-fucking-tastic._

"Ok. Ok. I'll stop. Professional relationship it is. Deal?" she held out her tiny, wet hand to Callie.

Callie's lips twisted slightly at the gesture, remembering the last time they shook hands.

"Deal," she replied, folding her own, freshly scrubbed hands, primly behind her back.

"And we'll just keep all touching to a bare minimum, shall we Liz?" With that, she nodded politely and left the scrub room.

Liz Bennett went back to her hands, chuckling lightly, her eyes positively sparkling.

"You really think I'd give up that easily? Silly, silly ... yummy girl," she murmured to herself.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together.**_

_Rated: M for language and mature themes._

_They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that._

_If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly._

_Oh yeah, I speak __**no Spanish**__ and I have zero medical knowledge. Enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc. _

_**Apologies for the rubbish Spanish.**_

_**I must say, you reactions to Liz Bennett cracked me up. Callie cheating? Oh ye of little faith! But...then again, I do like that twinkle in her green eyes!**_

**_Thanks again for your comments, it's nice to know you're enjoying the story as much as I am._**

* * *

**4**

_I can do this. I can do this._

Arizona took a deep breath and got to her feet.

Though slightly wobbly, she was able to remain upright.

"See?" she retorted to an unimpressed Callie, who was leaning on their bedroom door, clad only in an impossibly alluring red lace set of French knickers and balconette bra.

"Arizona, you can barely stand upright. You're not going in."

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I've got no surgeries, but I need to do rounds and charting and I've got a budget meeting…..

Callie could see what Arizona wouldn't.

Namely , a sheen of sweat on her brow, a sickly pallor that robbed the vitality from her face, and huge black bags under her dull eyes. The girl was one sick puppy but just a little too stubborn to see it.

"The charts can wait. The budget meeting can also wait..."

Callie advanced on Arizona like a cat stalking a slightly gormless mouse, determination written all over her face.

"You've been throwing up all night, you barely got any sleep. You're tired and a little mad right now. You're not well and you're staying home."

"No fair. You said that if I could stand up, I could go…." Arizona didn't want to admit it but she really needed to sit down.

Callie paused for a moment, put her hands on her hips and cocked her head, considering the obstinate woman, who was even now, swaying in her feet.

"When you look at me, what do you see?"

"Huh?" Arizona's eyes took in the lingerie and wondered why Callie wasn't covered in goose bumps.

"What's going through your head right now?"

"That if you don't put something on soon, you're going to catch a cold."

"Exactly. You're as sick a parrot. Get your ass back into bed, young lady." Callie marched over and used a single finger against Arizona's shoulder and pushed her back into bed.

"How'd you figure?" Arizona wasn't quite ready to give up yet, even thought the bed felt so nice and warm and just so damn cosy right now.

"This, right here, Arizona, is one of my big guns." Callie gestured to her skimpy underwear.

"_This _is one of my go-to-guys, when I need you to be extra nice to me. It usually takes you about 30 seconds, flat to get me out of this bad boy." Callie bundled the weakened Arizona back into bed, pulling the quilt up under her chin and placed her palm on the blonde's forehead, checking her temperature again.

"The mere fact that you haven't made one attempt to lunge for me tells me that you need to be in bed, and I need to be taking care of you. Got it?"

"Got it." Arizona closed her eyes and sighed, glad to relinquish her determination. She felt the bed dip slightly as Callie sat beside her but couldn't summon up enough energy to open her eyes. She could feel Callie's intent gaze and offered up a small smile even as she slipped into a deep and dreamless sleep.

Callie watched Arizona for a moment or two, to make sure that she was finally asleep and quickly pulling on a pair of jeans and tee shirt, went to the living room, closing the door gently.

Arizona had been up all night, emptying her stomach and then, when there was nothing left to throw up, dry heaving for hours.

.

Callie had woken somewhere around midnight, realising that the bed was cold and that Arizona was absent.

"Christ, baby, what's wrong?" Callie rushed over to support Arizona, who was, with some considerable violence, emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet basin.

"Nothing's wrong. Can't you tell, I'm just peachy." Arizona threw her a baleful glare before spewing her guts again.

Callie hid her smile, as concerned as she was, and bent over the heaving woman, holding her hair away from her face and rubbing her back, simply murmuring soothing nothings. The vomiting and heaving finally eased and Callie propped the spent woman up on the toilet seat and ran some water to help wash her face.

"Callie, my head is killing me, seriously, do you think you could breathe a little louder?"

Callie hid her grin this time in poor attempt at a cough and quickly found something else to look at as Arizona looked like she was going to smack her.

Arizona clearly was unwell.

And Arizona made a lousy patient.

There was no other way to put it.

She got cranky and sarcastic. She was argumentative and generally a royal pain in the ass to be around. For reasons that only the gods understood, whilst always sympathetic, Callie founds this illness-induced volte face in Arizona's behaviour hilarious. It did mean that she could care for her without them needing couples therapy afterwards.

Fortunately, she rarely got sick.

"Let me get some antacid for you, it will soothe your tummy."

"No, I hate that stuff, it will make me hurl again." Arizona screwed her face up looking more like a recalcitrant 5 year old than an eminent head of Paediatrics.

"Arizona, it will help. I promise you."

"Callie, leave me alone. I don't want it."

Callie went to the kitchen and came back a moment later holding a tiny measure of antacid.

Pushing it under Arizona's nose, she said firmly, "Drink it Arizona or I'll get the regular, _nasty_, milk of Magnesia instead."

Arizona's eyes widened and she snatched the cup from Callie and downed it one, shooting her a look of both horror and impotent malevolence.

"Good girl." Callie praised her, against her better judgement.

She took the small transparent cup away quickly; not sure that, in her current state of mind, Arizona wouldn't fling it in her face.

She took the wash towel and wiped Arizona's face and neck and brushed the hair away from her face.

"Do you want a shower? It might make you feel better." Callie offered.

"A shower is hardly going to do very much for the bug wreaking havoc in my intestinal tract." Arizona leaned back against the wall, her head drooping.

"Alrighty then," Callie ignored the comment and picked Arizona up, cradling her in her arms and slowly walking to the bedroom.

"You know you shouldn't carry me, you'll put your back out. I'm not that light." Arizona's voice was a little less crotchety and she snuggled into Callie's shoulder.

"No, you're right, you feel like you've been eating rocks for the last month. What's up with that?" Callie joked lightly as she placed Arizona back in bed.

The small smile that greeted her humour was quickly wiped away as a spasm of pain gripped Arizona.

Callie sat beside her and gently rubbed Arizona's taut belly, feeling the contractions under her fingers.

"What do you need me to do, baby?" Callie was sympathetic, her face mirroring her concern.

"Get into bed and hold me tight." Arizona's voice was creased with pain and she scrunched her body up into a ball, trying to alleviate the pain ripping through her. Callie got into bed and spooned Arizona, her arms around the hurting woman's body, doing what she could.

Callie had made her drink a little fluid, every couple of hours to combat the dehydration and mopped her forehead with a cool damp towel as her temperature raged. They had spent most of the night that way, Arizona finally falling asleep in the wee hours after the pain and fever had run its course.

Callie had got a few hours sleep and had woken early and taken a shower, but after taking one look at Arizona, knew that she'd have to watch her like a hawk just to make sure she got enough rest during the day.

Callie made a few calls to alert the hospital that Arizona was sick and that she was taking a personal day and decided to catch up on her journals.

.

"Aren't you meant to be on rounds, terrorising a bunch of interns or something?"

Callie opened her eyes with a start.

Cristiana looked down at her and Callie realised that she had been sprawled on the sofa, fast asleep. She looked at her watch, it was past 11:00; she'd been asleep for over 4 hours.

"Argh. I took a personal day. Arizona was sick all night. I wanted to take care of her."

"Uh huh, I see you're doing a pretty good job so far." Cristina mocked and made her way over to the fridge, rummaging around for something to eat.

Callie scratched her head and decided not to answer. Yang did have a point there.

"My shift is over. I can watch her if you like." Cristina offered, gesturing to the couch that Callie had been sleeping on. "I mean, how hard can it be?"

Callie stood up and stretched, she'd make some green tea and take to Arizona and see if she felt up to eating anything.

"No offense, Cristina but I've seen you at work. You have as much bedside manner as a side of ham. Jack Kervorkian could do a better job."

"Suit yourself. " Cristina shrugged and continued her foray.

"What's wrong with her, anyway?" She asked, finally emerging triumphant from the fridge with a bagel.

Callie shrugged, "Stomach virus, I guess, something she picked up from her tiny humans."

"Does that mean we're all going to get it? Damn it, Callie. Now is not a good time for me to be sick." Cristina threw a hopeful look in Callie's direction," Any chance of you moving out a few months early, so that I don't have to catch her germs?"

Callie ignored her and took a look through the contents of the fridge and cupboards. There really wasn't much other than alcohol and soy sauce and she decided that she had the option of going out for supplies or offering Arizona an imaginary bowl of soup to go with the imaginary slice of granary bread.

"There's nothing I can feed her here, I'll need to go out." She pulled her hair into a loose bun and looked around for her bag.

"Wait, does that mean I don't get lunch?"

"Ok, it means that if you keep her company, like a friend and not a doctor, not like _you_, you get lunch."

"Cool." Cristina perked up at the thought of one of Callie's meals.

"I'll be her best friend for the next hour. In fact I'll be you, just without the loud and intrusive sex."

Callie shot her a look.

"Like you and Owen haven't gone all wild and noisy before. I live here, too Cristina, I've seen the walls shake."

"Whatever. Go. Shop. Be a domestic goddess or something."

Callie went into the darkened bedroom and approached Arizona's side of the bed; taking care not to wake the sleeping woman.

Arizona was on her side facing Callie's side of the bed, hugging Callie's pillow in her arms. The pain had left her looking drained and pale but she was still asleep.

She looked better but Callie, wanting to make sure that she wasn't running a fever again, placed her palm on the blonde's forehead. She was relieved to find that her temperature had remained stable. As she removed her hand Arizona rolled over on to her back, still hugging the pillow to her chest. Callie held her breath, hoping that she wouldn't wake up but Arizona opened her eyes and looked about the room for a second before finding Callie's concerned dark brown eyes.

"Calliope..." Arizona began, as if about to make a speech.

"Yeah, babe?" Callie had a suspicion that Arizona wasn't fully awake and kept her voice to a gentle whisper.

"I'm in love with you, Calliope." Arizona blinked slowly and closed her eyes, drifting back into a deep sleep.

Callie smiled and replied softly.

"And I'm in love with you, Arizona."

.

When Callie returned to the apartment about an hour later she found Arizona sandwiched between Cristina and Mark on the couch, the quilt tucked around them watching TV.

"Jeez, about time, Callie. I'm starving." Cristina called out, her eyes still glued to the TV.

Callie looked over at Arizona, she looked pale and tired but a major improvement on the night before.

"How you doing, babe?" Callie dumped her numerous bags and standing in front of the couch, bent down to give her a light kiss.

"Hey, hey, move... you're blocking the TV." Mark pulled a leg out from the quilt and poked Callie.

Callie ignored him as Arizona grabbed the remote and paused the DVD. Ignoring the howls of protest that immediately came from Mark and Cristina, Arizona raised her head for the kiss and murmured, "Baby, you took such good care of me last night, was I a real bitch?"

Callie laughed and stroked her head.

"Last night was a 4, not too bad."

Arizona's sunny smile appeared, in all its dimpled glory. "You always say that."

"Enough with the doe eyes and the _I love you's_. Get a room or play the frikking DVD." Cristina was impatient.

"And Cal, still hungry here."

Callie considered how snug and cute they all looked together and a thought crossed her mind

"Hey, If you two catch whatever is she has, do not count on me to nurse you back to health."

"Well, that's not fair." Mark was genuinely indignant.

"Look, I'm only taking care of her because she she's my girl friend and I love her and she gives me great sex." She waved her hand at them, "You 2 are on your own."

"Whatever," Cristina grabbed the remote and pressed play.

Callie got out of the way and craned her neck to see what they were all so engrossed in, even Arizona's eyes had crept back the TV and avid expression on her face.

A familiar character came on screen and committed a crime in his inimitable way with his sawn off shot gun and Callie spun to glare at her room mate and best friend.

"The Wire? You two goons are showing her The Wire?"

"What?" Mark protested, eyes on the TV still, "She loves it."

Arizona was nodding her head enthusiastically, "I do, Cal. This show is so good. I love Omar to bits."

"Callie ...FOOD." Cristina wailed.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Callie walked over to the kitchen to spoon up some noodle soup and reflected that at least it wasn't Keema that Arizona was in love with.

* * *

Callie stared at the operation schedule for the day and groaned out loud.

She took a quick look at the message that beeped on her blackberry and groaned again, this time a little louder, just about resisting the urge to droop her head, sink her shoulders and drag her feet down the hall, like a disappointed child at Christmas who'd been given a sensible jumper as a present instead of a dirt bike.

She had been hoping for a short day so she could get home early and play with Arizona but the Chief had scheduled her for surgery's all day.

Her blackberry informed her that 2 of her colleagues in Ortho had gone down with a stomach bug and that she would be picking up the slack.

If Callie got to see Arizona this side of Thanksgiving, she could consider herself lucky.

Thinking about Thanksgiving, Callie wondered if she could take Arizona away for a few days or something. They never did get to go to Fiji and it would be their first proper vacation together. Callie decided to give it some thought; she still had another 4 months before thanksgiving.

She sighed and reviewed the board again, hoping that, miraculously, she no longer had 14 hours of surgery to look forward to.

No such luck.

Sighing and deciding to get a cup of coffee before reviewing her first case of the day, Callie threw a despairing glance at the board when a name assigned to her surgery's caught her eye.

"You have got to be kidding me," she muttered out loud, now completely disgusted with the universe.

Foregoing the coffee she went to a quiet corner and pulled out her mobile phone and called Arizona.

At the first ring, she hung up, wondering if she was over-reacting. They were all grow up's right? This wasn't really necessary, was it?

She didn't really have time to answer her own question because her phone rang, causing her to jump up in surprise and send the phone flying through the air.

Fully expecting the mobile to crash to the floor and shatter, Callie was initially pleased to see a pair of hands pluck it out of the air but wished the damn thing had smashed to a thousand pieces when the soon to be ubiquitous Dr Liz Bennett looked at the phone, realising that there was a live call, placed the mobile to her ear and said, "Hold the line for Dr Callie Torres, please."

She trotted over to an immobile Callie and pressed the phone into her hand, beaming a smile at her.

"See you later," she whispered and walked off.

Callie held the phone to her chest for half a second, infuriated at the turn of events. This was blatantly unfair and she felt like shaking her fist to the heavens or stamping her foot.

Or both.

She could hear Arizona's voice and wearily put the phone to her ear.

"Hello? Hello?"

"Hey Arizona, it's me."

"Cal? Did you just hang up on me? And who was that on the phone just now?"

"It's 08:30 why aren't you in bed resting?" Callie was concerned that Arizona got enough rest, but the question also gave her a few minutes to order her thoughts.

"I'm better and I'm bored and I don't want to sleep all day. Who was on the phone?"

"If I told you, I doubt you'd believe me or you'd believe me but it's the how not the who..."Callie rambled. "Anyway that doesn't matter. I wanted to talk to you about something that I shouldn't need to talk to you about but I will because... well...well ...I'll do it this one time only, ok. ... and then we need to get over it ...OK?"

There was a brief pause at the other end.

"Sweetheart, are you ok? I didn't understand a single word of that."

"Just listen, Webber has gone mad or I've upset him or something but I'm scheduled for surgery for the next 2 weeks solid and it looks like Liz Bennett will be working with me on most of the surgeries.

Now there was total silence at the other end and Callie rushed to fill the space.

"You know and I know that it will be strictly professional all the way and that I won't tolerate any more flirting ..."

"And that, if necessary, you report her to HR." Arizona chipped in.

"And that, if necessary, I report her to HR." Callie agreed. "I don't want to get home and find that you've got all mad possessive again because of her...I know you won't baby, but I figured giving you a heads up might be reassuring?"

Arizona cleared her throat.

"You were right baby, you shouldn't need to tell me who you're working with or why, but it's sweet of you anyway. I have got my head straight and I trust you completely and I don't expect you to fill me in on every last thing you do."

Callie could hear the smile in Arizona's voice.

"You going to watch some more of The Wire?"

"Mark's coming over later and we're going to crack open Season 3 and do a marathon."

"I'll just go and spend my day in surgery then, secure in the knowledge that Stringer Bell, Omar and Mark Sloan are all keeping you company."

"Go be awesome, darling." Arizona was laughing.

"No doubt." Callie grinned in response.

* * *

"Calliope. You're home. Early" Arizona jumped up startled and blushed violently as Callie walked into their bedroom.

"Hmm, I'm fried. I'll pick up the dry-cleaning tomorrow... Why have you got the window open?" she paused looking at Arizona curiously.

"And what are you looking so guilty abou... She stopped half way through her sentence and looked about the room wildly.

"What the hell is that smell? Did something die in here?"

"I was going to light scented candles but I couldn't find matches and... and you're home early..." Arizona was still blushing like crazy and wouldn't meet Callie's horrified eyes.

"You did this? You?" The horror faded and Callie started laughing out loud.

"Baby, you need to see an internist pronto. That just ain't normal."

"This is your fault, you made that delicious lentil goulash and, well, I had two helpings." Arizona admitted shame-faced.

"I told you, only small portions. You're going to give yourself one hell of a sore tummy." She grinned wickedly at the still-blushing Arizona, "Not to mention ripping yourself a new a..."

The pillow was flung with accuracy and caught Callie full in the face.

Callie made her way over to the bed with pure menace written all over her face, staring down a giggling Arizona.

"You really didn't want to do that, Arizona. It's tickling time."

"Noooo," Arizona shrieked and tried to make it out of arms reach but to no avail. Callie caught her round her waist and man-handled back over the bed, her fingers mercilessly playing over all the paeds surgeons sensitive spots.

"Stop. Stop. Please."Arizona gasped, still trying to wriggle away, panting and laughing hysterically.

Callie had Arizona pinned underneath her and grinned down at her flushed and squirming partner.

"I'd give you an even bigger seeing to, but I'm scared you'll squeeze another one out and I'm not sure there's enough oxygen in the room for both of us."

"Oh, you are so gross," Arizona smacked Callie on the butt as she rolled away.

"You can go get the candles. The ones in the bathroom are jasmine."

"And they're your favourite. Yes ma'am."

Callie shook her head as she reached up over the toilet to get the candles. Sometimes they acted like kids but it was so much fun messing around with Arizona.

Callie guessed that Owen or Mark must have been around recently as the toilet seat was up and as she bent to lower it she was surprised by a small pair of hands pinching her sides.

Callie jumped about a foot in the air, cursing out loud in her native Spanish. She swore again at the noisy splash as the jasmine candle fell down the toilet.

Callie knew never to turn her back on Arizona after a tickling attack. Rookie mistake.

"Whoops." Arizona peered over Callie's shoulder but didn't look too repentant.

"You can get that." Callie pointed to the large candle that had sunk to the bottom of the basin. The toilet was scrupulously clean, all of the inhabitants of the house, with the possible exception of Christina, were fastidious in their habits.

But it was, after all, still a toilet.

"What's up? Did Callie produce another one of her infamous unflushable floaters?"

Cristina appeared at the open door of the bathroom and looked mildly interested as they both peered into the toilet.

It was Callie's turn to slowly go bright red in complete mortification.

"Shut up, Cristina."

Arizona started laughing delightedly at Callie's discomfiture.

"When was this?"

Christina opened her mouth to gleefully respond but Callie shook off her embarrassment and despite her rosy cheeks put up a hand at Christina.

"You only know about that Yang, because, well you bumped into the plumber. I'm a big girl. I eat big and I crap big. Get over it." She turned to the still laughing Arizona.

"And we're only in this predicament because of you, madam. You know what you did. And believe me, it was plain ungodly."

With that she plucked the offending candle out of the toilet and swished over to the wash hand basin and began scrubbing like a surgery was at stake.

* * *

Arizona had called Callie on her mobile but had only got her voice mail.

She wasn't entirely sure that Callie would understand her garbled message especially as, at the time, she had been wrestling with 2 boisterous 4 year olds intent on running away with her stethoscope and phone.

It was date night and they had tickets to see Tosca, it was one of Callie's favourite opera's and Arizona was running very late. She was still in denial, pretending that there was an outside chance that she might be able to get away from work in time, but the odds weren't favourable.

Four years ago, way before she knew that she would come to Seattle and fall headlong in love with a statuesque raven-haired, orthopaedic badass, she had been heavily involved in the delivery of a set of sextuplets.

Consuela and Juan Rodrigo already had a 6 year old but had been unable to conceive again and finally, after 3 rounds of IVF, Consuela had brought 6 healthy babies to term. Though Arizona wasn't an OBY/GYN specialist, she had been called to consult on a pre-birth condition and had formed a close relationship with the family. They exchanged Christmas and birthday cards and met up when she travelled back to home, she got updates on the progress on the children though the years. They had now come to Seattle for Arizona, when Sophia, their eldest child had developed a rare condition.

Right now the entire family of 6 energetic 4 -year olds as well as the parents had descended on the Paeds wing. While Arizona admitted Sophia and ran tests and discussed options with Connie and Juan, the children, under the, not-so close, supervision of Lexie Grey and temp nanny, were running riot through the wing. It was only a matter of time before either another parent complained or one of the boys broke a limb trying to dive off the nurse's station like superman.

Callie knew that Arizona didn't have much time between the end of her shift and the start of the performance, so she decided to pick out an outfit and bring it to her. She had make up and a ceramic straightener in her locker; it would save them an extra 30 minutes, for her to change here instead of going back home.

She liked the opera and though it wasn't really Arizona's thing she was a good sport about it and had accompanied her once or twice. Like a lot of opera, Tosca was both romantic and over-wrought but Callie adored the arias and was looking forward to the evening. In part compensation, she had got reservations at Arizona's favourite restaurant in the city.

Date night was only once a month and Callie could feel the anticipation unravel in her stomach. They both had the following day off and she had every intention of keep Arizona up all night long. Unconsciously, a slow smile curved along her mouth as she got off the elevator at the Paediatrics' floor and walked down the corridor, thinking of their evening ahead. She could see Arizona talking to a couple at the nurse's station and her smile widened.

Arizona was now at the nurse's station, with Connie and Juan, explaining what steps she would be taking over the coming days. They had been relieved to find that, based on preliminary checks, Sophia's condition, though serious, was not life-threatening and were preparing to leave her for the night. Arizona still held out hope that she might get away in time. As she continued to fill them in, she noted that both Juan and Connie's attention had momentarily drifted away and they were both staring avidly at something over her shoulder.

Curious, Arizona turned round and felt her heart skip a beat.

"Sweet baby Jesus." She murmured, unaware that she had spoken out loud.

Callie was walking towards her, clad in impossibly high Malono Blahnik's and a black Vera Wang wrap-around dress. Though completely tasteful, the gown shimmered as she swayed down the corridor, the hem falling barely below the knee, accentuating her every curve and leaving a generous cleavage, where a single pendant nestled. Her hair was a simple but elegantly coiffure and her makeup was flawless; eyes smoky dark and lips rich with colour.

Arizona felt her mouth go dry and had to tear her gaze away to retain some semblance of professionalism. She felt like panting out loud and saw a Connie smack Juan to get his attention back.

"What? I got eyes, don't I?" Juan defended himself cheerfully; his wife knew she didn't have to worry about his fidelity.

Arizona laughed and waved Callie over.

She didn't do this often, but she liked the Rodrigo's and considered them friends.

"Callie, this is Consuela and Juan Rodrigo, I helped deliver their sextuplets." Turning to the smiling couple, she casually put her arm around Callie's waist.

"This is Dr Calliope Torres, my partner." Arizona couldn't keep the pride out of her voice as they all shook hands, Callie murmuring a few words in Spanish, which caused Connie's eyes to light up.

Juan leaned over to Arizona as the two dark haired women began to chat in their native tongue and grinned in appreciation

"Dude, way to go." Arizona blushed faintly at his comment but her eyes shone. Callie was utterly stunning all of the time but when she went all out, she _really _went all out and Arizona simply could not take her eyes off her.

"Behave yourself, Juan," Connie smacked him again, smiling up at Callie.

"It looks like you two have plans, Arizona, you should have said something."

"Don't worry about it, your little girl comes first." Callie said easily. She was disappointed that they might not make the first act but there was always dinner and the night ahead.

"Actually, we are almost done. I want to introduce Dr Reddick to Connie and Juan as he'll be running the tests tomorrow and then I'm all yours." Arizona smiled at Callie and tried to keep her heart rate under some control at the slow sexy smile she got in return.

"I'll be in your office." Callie nodded as the 3 moved on down the corridor. The children's day room burst open and a harried looking Lexie tumbled out closely chased by 6 raven-haired children. There were 3 boys and 3 girls all incredibly similar in appearance and Callie couldn't help but laugh out loud as they terrorised the inept Little Grey.

"Hola, chica, por que no estas durmiendo?" she asked the question as the kids ran past.

As one, they juddered to a halt, two of the boys running smack into a brother or sister. At her words they gathered round her, wide-eyed and fascinated. Each child was dressed individually but their resemblance was uncanny. They all had the same dark eyes and quick smiles and oodles of black curly hair. They were adorable but Callie could imagine them being a mighty handful.

"Wow, there's so many of you. How about you tell me your names and let's if I can remember? Hmmm?" She reverted back to English, smiling at the sight they made.

The offer of a game was irresistible and they immediately began jumping and tugging at her dress, yelling out their names.

"I'm Carla...My name is Roberto...I'm called Conchita ... _Mi nombre es Hector ..._

"Whoa, whoa, one at a time, otherwise I won't be able to introduce myself properly and you'll think my name is Barney or Buzz Lightyear."

"You're not Barney." One of the boys pointed and giggled at her, his other hand holding on to one of his sister's.

"I'm not Barney? No?" Half a dozen dark heads shook vehemently at her question.

"But I could be Buzz Lightyear in a special disguise?"

Callie chuckled at the peals of laughter that met her comment. Tossing her clutch at the stunned Lexie, she held out both her hands to the children.

"Hey, how about we go say goodnight to your sister, hmm?" she began to shepherd them in the right direction "After that you can tell me who you are and if we have time, you might even get a story.

Arizona and the Rodrigo's finally extricated themselves from the verbose Dr Reddick and returned to Sophia's room. As she followed the parents into the room, she halted in her tracks at the sight that greeted her.

Callie had little Hector ...or it might have been Georges, on her lap, wrapped up in her arms, his dark head nestled under her chin. Little Louisa was leaning against Callie's arm, sucking her thumb, her dark brown eyes glued to Callie's face. The others were sitting around her feet or perched on their sister's bed leaning forward avidly as Callie spun a fantasy tale around them. They all giggled as she put on a funny voice and clamoured for more as she noticed her audience and brought the story to an end.

Louisa ran up to Juan and tugged at his hand

"Tia Callie nos dijo una Buena histori, Papa."

Connie half turned to Arizona, her eyes still taking in the scene.

"Arizona, this one is definitely a keeper. You know that, right?"

"Right." Arizona breathed in agreement, unable to take her eyes off Callie and the little boy, who now had his arms wrapped around her neck as he hugged her good bye. The sight of the two dark heads, close together, the chubby little arms, the sound of childish laughter and the beatific smile on Callie's face caused her heart to catch in her chest.

_Is this what it would be like?_

**_TBC_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together.**_

_Rated: M for language and mature themes._

_They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that._

_If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly._

_Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have zero medical knowledge. Enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc. _

**As much as I do proofread before posting, I inevitably stumble across a typo or a grammatical error that puts me to shame. I do apologise, I realise how annoying it is.**

**So, date night. I may have got a little carried away. Enjoy.**

* * *

**5**

Callie had always thought that blue was Arizona's best colour. But seeing her in the deep purple dress she'd picked out, she changed her mind completely.

The dress had looked lovely on the hanger.

It looked spectacular on Arizona and when she stepped out of the locker room, Callie felt an arrhythmia kick in for a solid minute.

The dress fell to just below her knees and was a made of a jersey material that skimmed every curve that Arizona had. The neckline was modest enough and kept her cleavage to a tasteful minimum, much to Callie's disappointment, though the pale milky swell of her breast did peak out a little and frankly wink at her. But When Arizona twirled round for Callie's approval, Callie understood the true genius of the dress, the back plunged dramatically, displaying Arizona's toned back and shoulder blades. It stopped just below mid-back and Callie knew that had the back dipped any further, she'd have gone into full cardiac arrest. If that wasn't bad enough, the colour did something amazing to Arizona's blue eyes.

It made them appear deeper, a little darker and a little more intense. It made her pupils look wide. It made her eyes look the exact same way they looked when she came under the ministrations of Callie's mouth.

The colour of the dress made Arizona look all kinds of sexed up.

Callie felt her body sway slightly at the image in front of her.

"Fuuuuuck me." She drawled brokenly, her voice a hushed, fully aroused, murmur.

"Oh, I fully intend to, my dear. But you're going to have to wait for it." Arizona smiled at the effect she had on the impossibly glorious woman who stood in front of her. She walked up to Callie, barely brushing against her and trailed a finger along the chain of Callie's necklace to the pendant that nestled, between her bosom; her finger just about grazed Callie's breasts and Arizona felt a kick of arousal at the sharp breath that Callie took at her touch.

* * *

Tosca was beautiful, as it always was, and Arizona, who hadn't seen it before, was moved by the arias, the orchestral music and the passion of the story. She would never have described either one of them as overly tender-hearted but she reached for Callie's hand, feeling tears prick her eyes as Cavaradossi sang _E lucevan le stelle_ in the 3rd act. She could feel the fear and love and desperation of the condemned man course through her and felt her heart twist at his pain. Looking over at Callie, Arizona's heart caught at the corresponding emotion on her face. Callie might be a hardcore badass most of the time but she always felt things deeply and Arizona felt privileged that Callie opened her heart and soul and to her, unafraid to expose her vulnerability.

"So, would you jump off a building for me, Callie?" Arizona teased as she took a sip of her wine.

They were lingering over dinner, neither one of them in a huge rush, they knew that they had the whole night ahead of them and so they drew out the anticipation and enjoyed each other's company.

The restaurant was on the top floor of an extremely exclusive hotel and there were the most amazing panoramic views of the city at night. There was a grand piano at one end of the large restaurant and George Gershwin accompanied their meal.

"Would I jump off a building? You asking me if I'd be Tosca for you?" Callie grinned, her eyes sparkling as she took in Arizona's smiling happy face. She was glad that she'd taken her to the opera after all; Arizona's face had shown how much she had enjoyed it and Callie felt a kind of satisfaction that she had shared something she loved so much with the one person she loved more.

"Would I kill for you, would I die for you?" Callie joked back, but she could feel her heart pound.

"Darling, for you? I'd do it in a cold hard second. But I'm not too sure about the singing bit." She laughed at Arizona's giggle.

Callie stood behind Arizona, her finger trailing from her nape down her spine to the point where she could go no further and she leaned in close, nuzzling against her ear, raising goose bumps all over the pale, beautiful skin.

They were in the elevator taking them down to the front desk, where their taxi was waiting for them. The ride down would take a matter of minutes but right now it seemed that an eon was slipping by.

"I really, really need to get you out of that dress." Callie murmured against her skin, her tongue poking out and brushing the curve of Arizona's shoulder.

"My dress? You don't like it?" Arizona asked innocently, feeling the shivers at Callie's touch sliver through her. She felt Callie's chuckle and shivered again at the warm breath on her nape.

"This dress? This dress deserves an award, baby. I didn't think that there was anything that could make you look _this_ hot but, hon, I gotta tell you, I couldn't keep my eyes off you, all night."

"I noticed." Arizona smirked.

Callie's eyes had burnt a fiery trail all over Arizona's body each and every time she'd looked at her and that had been often. There was no greater aphrodisiac than looking into the desire of your partner's eyes and knowing that you put it there.

"I could feel your eyes on my body, Cal. Touching me everywhere, slowly caressing my skin. Each time you looked at me, it felt like a stroke of your tongue, warm and wet and oh, so good." Arizona leaned back against Callie, pushing her bottom into her groin. She let her eyes close and her head droop, caught in the rush of arousal. The elevator would stop soon, or someone might come in and join them, but her brain was clouded with the sensations that Callie wrought in her. She could feel Callie's warmth, smell her perfume, tendrils of her raven hair tickled Arizona's shoulders. She could sink into the essence that was the other woman and stay there forever.

Arizona fumbled behind her and grabbed Callie's hand and placed it on her hip, needing to feel her large strong hands on her body. She pushed herself back a little harder, a slight, almost imperceptible twist of her hips and heard Callie groan out loud. She could feel each and every finger though the thin fabric of her dress and imaged them on her skin. Massaging her hip, kneading her buttocks, stroking her clit.

She could feel Callie's cleavage against the bare skin of her back and felt the blood screaming through her body.

"Calliope, baby," she said her voice husky and unsteady.

"Yes?" Callie's voice was very careful. She was hanging on by a single thread and it was stretched to breaking point. She wanted to turn Arizona around in her arms and kiss her, to plunge her tongue into her mouth and taste all the sweetness that she had inside. She wanted to feel the hot, tight slickness that she just knew was waiting for her. Christ, she wanted it all.

Right now, Arizona was taking them both ever closer to the point of no return with her little lap dance. Callie was gripping her hip so tight that she knew was marking the skin, but it was the only goddamn thing that was stopping her from spinning Arizona round, raising one of her legs around her waist and sinking 3 fingers deep inside her.

"Hold me tight please, because I'm about to come."

"Oh fuck, Arizona."

Callie dropped her clutch to the floor and wrapped her other arm around Arizona's middle, splaying her fingers across her warm stomach. Unbelievably, Arizona fumbled behind her again and gripped Callie's hips, grinding her behind more forcefully into Callie's groin. Callie could feel the tremors shuddering through Arizona and felt her control wither away in response.

Her forehead dropped onto Arizona's shoulder and she clenched her teeth, desperately swallowing the sounds of her release.

Arizona had no such qualms and whimpered, loud and prolonged as wave after wave of pleasure washed through her.

Callie kept her arms tight about climaxing woman, and felt another spasm shudder through again, just at the sight of Arizona, leaning back against her in complete abandon, there simply were no words to describe the vision that she was.

The elevator arrived at their floor but Callie leaned over and pressed a button randomly, forcing the doors to close and begin an ascent.

She nuzzled the now, quiet Arizona, placing a soft kiss on her neck.

"Are you able to stand on your own, darling?"

Arizona nodded once and then straightened up, spinning round in Callie's loose clasp and pressing herself fully against Callie's luscious curves.

"Callie. I want you. I want your fingers inside me, your mouth on my body and I want it now. I cannot wait." Her voice was raw with desire and Callie felt her arousal peak again.

She placed her hands on Arizona's shoulders and gently created a sliver of space between them.

"We'll go down to the lobby and get a room, ok?"

"Arizona, ok?"

Arizona's eyes glittered , zeroing on her mouth and Callie knew that she was only taking in half of what was being said to her right now and she groaned out loud, unable to resist when Arizona's mouth landed on hers, greedily eating the sound up and trying to elicit more.

Panting, she pulled her lips away and shook her head slightly; the fog of passion and desire was robbing them both of decency and sense.

"Darling, we are not making love in an elevator. This isn't an Aerosmith video and you don't even like their music."

A ghost of a smile crossed Arizona's face and she took a deep shuddering breath, one of her hands sneaking round and cupping Callie's rounded buttock, massaging the soft flesh deeply.

"Go to the bar and wait for me, get a glass of wine or something. " Callie could feel Arizona's heat and wanted to sink into it.

"Sitting in the bar on my own will make me look like a hooker. " Arizona pouted, wetting her soft pink lips with the tip of her tongue.

"And me, sucking your clit until you scream, right here, right now, really won't make you look any better, darling." Callie teased, her eyes glued to the movement of Arizona's tongue. She could feel her blood pressure rise and her senses cloud over again. She was only partly joking about sucking Arizona here, she could almost taste her juices on her tongue, feel the rhythm of her body against her mouth.

Callie was dangerously close to the edge again.

They arrived back at the main lobby.

"Go wait for me, I promise you no more than 10 minutes." She entreated at Arizona's expression.

"I will make it worth your while," Callie added and Arizona shivered deliciously at the promise in her low tone.

She walked through to the bar, trying to be steady on her feet, they'd shared a single bottle of wine at dinner but right now she was drunk on passion. Callie better keep her promise or Arizona was going to have to ravish her in public.

Callie watched Arizona depart and then went over to the main reception. It was a Thursday night and there was a convention taking place in one of the centres in the hotel. Callie knew that getting a room might be a long shot.

A smartly dressed young man approached her, a professional smile fixed to his face.

"Good evening, Madam. My name is Richard, welco...

Callie pulled out her black platinum card and slid it across the desk.

"Richard, you'll forgive me if I interrupt or sound a little sound brusque. I would like you to listen very carefully to my requests and not interrupt, ok?"

The man nodded once, his training far too good to betray any expression at Callie's statement.

"I would like a suite for 2 full days, I don't care what floor, I don't care if it overlooks the city, the bay or a brick wall, though any with soundproofing would be good. I do not want to be disturbed until a champagne brunch for two is delivered at noon tomorrow. I would like access to the spa facilities, reservations for dinner tomorrow and I'd like a late checkout on Saturday." Callie drew breath and hoped that Robert had been paying attention; she had about 2 minutes before she went to get Arizona. "I'd also like a small selection of casual clothing, for a 12 Tall and 6 Regular; jeans, shirts, lingerie that sort of thing."

"If you are able to arrange this and give me a key card in the next 3 minutes, you will personally receive a 25% tip of my total bill."

Richard didn't blink once. This wasn't the first impromptu romantic or dirty weekend that he'd organised.

"That shouldn't be a problem, Madam. In addition to your card, all I'll require is a signature. I'll have the card to your room in a matter of minutes."

"Good man, Richard."

They had a suite on the 19th floor and Arizona leaned in for a kiss the minute the doors closed.

Callie fell back against the mirrored wall with an extremely amorous Arizona in her arms and wondered how much of a show they'd put on for the staff manning the security camera's in the lift.

She hadn't thought about that before.

"You know that we're seriously going to end up on Youtube after tonight."

Despite their earlier antics Arizona wasn't an exhibitionist and ground her teeth as she pulled herself away.

Callie giggled at the pout that came to Arizona's lips at the separation of their bodies.

"Just breathe, baby." She laughed as Arizona stuck her tongue out at her calming words.

"You are not that hard up. We had sex a few nights ago."

An expression that Callie couldn't quite decipher came over Arizona's face.

"Do you honestly imagine that I could ever get enough of you, Calliope?"

Callie shook her heard wordlessly, unable to answer. She had never tired of Arizona, not emotionally, not mentally and certainly not physically. It was impossible for her to imagine not always wanting Arizona.

They stumbled into their suite and Arizona pushed Callie up against the nearest wall and took a deep possessing kiss from her. She nipped sharply at Callie's full lower lip and smiled at the sound Callie made.

"That's for making me wait," she growled at Callie's groan.

"I love it when you're both unreasonable and demanding about sex, sweetie." Callie mocked but her amusement faded as Arizona's hands dropped to cup her breasts through her dress.

"Not just yet, my love."

Callie pulled her through to the bedroom and spun her round, so that Arizona had her back to Callie, mimicking their earlier posture. Callie walked her up to the king sized bed and stopped just in front of it.

Nuzzling her neck, Callie gripped the skirt of Arizona's dress and slowly gathered the material up to her waist.

"I'm not sure this is going to work for me, Cal." Arizona was breathless nonetheless. She couldn't see Callie's face in the darkened room; the mirrors weren't facing the bed. All she could was feel Callie's presence behind her, the heat coming off her body, her scent, her breath soft and warm on her neck.

Callie responded by hooking her thumb in the black lace of Arizona's knickers and slowly pulling the flimsy garment down.

She allowed her fingers to trail the milky whiteness of Arizona's inner thighs and smiled at her whimper.

"Spread your legs for me, darling," she commanded softly.

For a moment Callie allowed the anticipation to build by hovering but not quite touching Arizona. She placed her hand in the middle of Arizona's bare shoulders, applying a little pressure.

"Now, lean forward, baby, rest your hands on the bed."

As Arizona complied, Callie landed a sharp and unexpected spank on Arizona's left buttock.

The sound of palm against flesh was loud in the silent suite.

"Ooooh. Oh. That's new." Arizona giggled slightly. Nervously. But Callie's only response was to repeat the gesture on her other cheek.

It wasn't the pain, though it did smart, but as excitement shivered through Arizona, it was the sheer shock of the spanking that increased her arousal.

Callie, still fully clothed, dropped to her knees and spread Arizona's cheeks just a little to expose her burning aroused core. She leaned in close but made no contact just murmured, softly her warm breath stirring more than the damply clustered curls.

"Please, Callie, please," Arizona pleaded, her hand gripping the quilt on the bed in sheer agitation. She was going out of her mind with need.

"I ...I can't..." she couldn't get the words out to explain her desperation.

Callie finally took pity on her and her mouth latched onto Arizona's womanhood with alacrity, her tongue exploring the slick folds that had been waiting for exactly this attention all night long.  
Callie flattened her tongue and took long leisurely strokes of Arizona's lips and teased her clit, loving the texture and taste of her lover. She could hear Arizona gasping loudly in pleasure, pushing back against her mouth trying to increase the contact and Callie was happy to oblige, pushing her face deeper into Arizona burning core.  
She swirled the tip of her tongue around Arizona 's entrance and thrust in for a moment before withdrawing and repeating time and again, then, feeling the tension within Arizona reach breaking point, she stopped all motion.

"Don't stop, please, don't stop..." Arizona's voice was unrecognisable, rampant passion turning it to a husky growl.  
Callie stood up without a word and placed her hands on either side of Arizona's hips, hiking them up a little. She smacked Arizona's ass just once more and then sank her fingers deep into Arizona, feeling her lover's walls clench around her immediately.

"Not yet. Arizona, you can't come yet." Callie's words were very soft.

She withdrew her fingers slowly and then plunged in again, deeper than before.  
She leaned over Arizona and placed a kiss on her spine and then began to pump earnest, her free hand, sensuously massaging a breast , tweaking the nipple to full attention before withdrawing her hand from her breasts.

Callie leaned over Arizona again, this time reaching round and finding her clit. She took the engorged nub between her fingers and slowly began to apply steadily increasing pressure to the very base.

"Now, Arizona. Come now."

Arizona began to scream, her hips bucking to a wild and primitive rhythm.

Callie held her tightly and felt the eruptions as she came apart at the seams.

Callie kept perfectly still and basked in the violence of the storm that ripped through Arizona.

Callie felt the orgasm on her hand. She felt it against her hips as she ground against her.

She felt Arizona's orgasm in her soul.

Arizona was still braced on the bed and as her body finally stilled. They stayed that way for long minutes, the only sound filling the room was their harsh, jagged breathing. Callie held her stillness for just a few more minutes and then she flicked her fingers sharply within Arizona and felt her judder in shocking pleasure.

"Come again, my love."

"Cal?" Her voice was husky and raw.

Callie's only response was to begin flicking rapidly within her and listen as the screams hit another crescendo.

Callie finally withdrew gently from Arizona, and gathered her up in her arms. Arizona wrapped her arms around Callie's neck and placed a sloppy kiss on her mouth. She then let her head loll, unable to speak let alone hold her head up.

Callie held Arizona in her arms for a moment and settled them both on the bed, tucking the boneless and still silent Arizona against her.

"I can feel your heart pounding, Arizona."

"Hmmm."

"Do you want something to drink, juice, water?" Callie was amused but a little humbled.

Their loving making was varied and could rapidly change from a frenetic sprint to a languid marathon, it could be rough or gentle but it was always infinitely satisfying for both of them, physically and emotionally. That she could bring Arizona to such heights was something she treasured as much as she marvelled at how combustible they sometimes became with each other.

Arizona forced herself up and leaned over Callie, looking down into her face.

"You do things to me, Callie that I can't explain, that I can't even begin to comprehend, do you know that?" She stroked her fingers along the curve of Callie's dramatic eyebrows, gazing, almost with wonder at the impossibly long eyelashes that framed molten brown eyes.

"Sometimes, sometimes, all you need do is look at me and I'm dripping wet and begging you to take me and the thing is, Calliope..." Arizona's eyes were shadowed and intense and Callie put her hand up on Arizona's chest to feel the beating of her heart as she continued speaking quietly.

"The thing is, I don't even care. I am utterly enthralled by you; it's not even funny how much I adore you and all the things you do to me."

Callie felt a slow smile spread across her face and watched as Arizona's eyes grew darker and the pupil took over the entire colour of her eyes, turning them turbulent with desire.

Seeing, feeling Arizona's arousal was like a chain reaction that she was inextricably linked to, something that caught her up in a wave of desire that was as insatiable was it was enduring.

They stared into each other's eyes and felt their heartbeats grow faster, harder, louder. They saw the desire flicker and ignite in each other's eyes and as mouths melded, tongues engaged and bodies strained together, the fusion that took place created a starburst of combustion that they willing allowed themselves to be consumed by.

Arizona leaned over Callie and took her mouth passionately, her tongue exploring the depths of Callie's mouth, stroking her tongue and tasting her sweetness. She sucked on Callie's bottom lips and moaned in pure pleasure at the sensation.

Callie had a hand stroking Arizona's back and pulled away for a second.

"I want you out of that dress, Arizona. I want to feel your skin against mine, I want you mouth on my body."

Arizona gave her a heavy-lidded look at her command, feeling the tendrils of lust snag at her gut at the image Callie's words invoked.

But she wasn't about to be rushed and stroked her body along the length of Callie's prostate form, smiling at the gasp of pleasure and capturing it in her mouth.

She stood up and released a zip and smiled again as Callie panted out a curse in Spanish as the dress pooled about her feet, leaving her standing in nothing but a pair of high heels and a black bra that barely encased her pale breasts.

Callie propped herself up on her elbows and watched avidly as Arizona took of her bra and cupped her breasts in her hands.

"See anything you like, Callie?" she teased walking over to the bed and offering herself to Callie who scooted to the edge of the bed and hooked her arms around the Arizona's waist and began to suck on the proffered breast.

Arizona closed her eyes for a second and savoured Callie's attention but she had something else in mind and sank her hands into Callie's thick tresses to lift her head.

Standing above Callie, she had an ideal vantage point to admire her generous cleavage and decided that she wanted more.

She helped Callie out of her dress slowly, making sure that her breast brushed across Callie's body as she undid the ties at the waist of the dress. She dropped a kiss on the curve of her shoulder as the bra came off and Arizona ran her tongue down Callie's abdomen as she helped her out of her panties and then sat her back down on the edge of the bed, smiling into her eyes.

She began to drop soft kisses over Callie's shoulders, her neck and her chest and slowly continued her way down, her mouth tongue and fingers, stroking and tasting with languid ease until she reached Callie's glorious breasts, the dark rose of the areola and the darker tightened buds inflamed Arizona, weakened her resolve and made her want to thrown Callie on her back on the bed and bury herself deep within her.

But she gritted her teeth and restrained herself. _Not yet, not yet._

Arizona dropped to her knees and took one breast in her mouth, sucking on the sensitive nipple and feeling Callie's response, knowing that with each slow hard suck, each fast lick and every gentle nibble that she applied, shockwaves went through Callie's body and straight to her clit. Arizona shuffled a little closer, feeling her own nipples tighten, almost painfully as they brushed against Callie's thighs, against her damp centre. She opened her mouth wider and sucked Callie's breast into her mouth, past the nipple, beyond the areola taking in the soft, smooth tanned flesh, creating a build up of pressure around the breast that had Callie grasping Arizona's head and leaning in, even closer.

_Oh, you like that, do you? _

Arizona smiled inwardly and gently releasing the pressure on the first breast, moved over to repeat the gesture on the other.

"That feels so good," Callie panted the words out. Each tug on her breast created a diffuse jolt of electricity that meandered through her body.

She loved Arizona's mouth on her nipples but this thing right now was slowly driving her insane.

She pouted as Arizona released the second breast and sat back on hers heels for a moment to look up at Callie.

She was magnificent in her arousal.

There was something about the way her head was flung back, black hair cascaded over her bare shoulders, the way her chest rose and fell with each pant and the liquid desire burning in her eyes that took Arizona's breath away.

"_You_ see anything you like?" Callie teased.

"Oh, I like it all." Arizona smiled as she moved closer, "I love every last bit, baby."

Cupping both breasts together Arizona manoeuvred both nipples into her mouth at the same time and began to suck with purpose, alternating one strong suck with a number of rapid tongue flicks against the rock hard buds.

Callie was moaning out loud, muttering in a distracted mix of Spanish and English.

Dios...oh god, baby ...

She changed her mind, Arizona's mouth on her nipples ...she like that more. But the thought was a fleeting one as sensation after mind-numbing sensation jolted through her.

She wrapped her legs around the kneeling blonde and was rubbing herself against Arizona, desperate for friction to relieve the tension in the screaming quivering mass of nerves at the centre. She could feel the softness of Arizona's breast against her, gently bumping up against her thighs, against her clit and she cried out as she came.

Arizona kept up the pressure and forced her chest closer, synchronizing with Callie's thrusts, so that each thrust was met with pressure of her own.

She released Callie's nipples and pushed her back on the bed, still reeling from the pleasure of feeling Callie quiver against her nipple.

Callie flopped back and reached out a hand for Arizona.

"I'm not done with you yet, young lady." She grasped the hand and deliberately sucked at the fleshy part of her palm, smiling at the groan that came from Callie.

Arizona put her hands on Callie's knees, pushed them wider and bent to nuzzle against the jet black thatch of hair.

The tip of her tongue poked out and barely grazed against Callie's clit.

"Is that enough pressure, love?" She whispered softly, feeling Callie rise up as her breath became as much of a caress as her tongue.

"Mmmm, good ...uh ...really... uh... good." Callie panted out, propped up on her elbows, seeing the top of the blonde head between her legs, feeling the hair trail over her thighs. She thought that she had been undone by the previous orgasm, but Arizona obviously had other ideas.

Arizona smiled at the disjointed reply and applied a little more pressure, this time her tongue flicking rapidly against the clit but again, barely touching it. She heard Callie groan out loud and repeated the action.

"Do you prefer that?" Arizona asked.

She then plunged her tongue deeply and suddenly into Callie's centre forcing her face as close as she could get, her tongue as deep as it would go. She withdrew just as suddenly and looked up at Callie, who was now sitting upright, her hips thrust forward and her hands restlessly gripping the quilt.

"Or that?"

Callie's eyes were heavy-lidded and intent, staring down at Arizona, willing her to continue.

"Again."

Arizona smiled and plunged her tongue deep into Callie but just once. She felt the thrust of Callie's hips against her face and wonder how long they could both play this game.

"This, baby?" she looked up, Callie's head was flung back and her eyes were closed.

"Or this?" Arizona flicked her tongue rapidly against the engorged clit hearing the air squeeze out of Callie's lungs.

"Yes, please baby, yes ...just..."

Arizona ran her hands along Callie's smooth toned thighs and slowly pushed each leg over her shoulders, pushing Callie back, just a little.

She bent and used her tongue to toy with Callie, caressing her wet folds, stroking her clit and exploring her entrance. She could hear Callie's breathing grow from fast and heaving to louder and louder pants of abject pleasure.

"You didn't answer me, my love. But, perhaps you'll prefer this."

Arizona angled her head so that she was in a sideways position and took Callie's clit properly into her mouth and began sucking on the nerves in earnest. This time she wasn't playing and Callie knew it, her hips rising with each pull on her womanhood. In between each suck, Arizona rolled Callie's clit in her tongue. She could feel Callie's hand grip her hair and heard her as she began to groan out loud.

The hand in her hair became painful as Callie pulled a little harder than usual.

"Come ... come...I... I... need ...you... inside...me." Callie forced the words out as she looked down on Arizona.

Wordlessly, Arizona scrambled up on the bed and pushed Callie on her back, a look of pure intent written all over her heated face.

She pulled Callie's legs up in the air and arranged them over her own shoulders and then bent down on her, slowly, slowly pushing her fingers into Callie.

"I want you to come hard, for me Callie. I want you to come so fucking hard." She pumped her hand leisurely; each thrust was deep and deliberate. "Can you do that for me, darling?" She was up on her knees, one hand braced on the bed and one shoulder leaning into Callie's upright leg, using the force of each thrust from Callie as a counter balance.

Callie was too far gone to reply, her body had taken over and everything that made her was centred on the hands that were giving her so much pleasure.

Arizona looked at Callie's face and heard the screaming start and knew that unless she moved pretty soon, the force of Callie's eruption would probably knock her off the bed.

Increasing the frequency of the thrusts to match the frenzied movements of Callie's hips, Arizona lowered Callie's legs so that her feet were planted on the bed. She leaned forward to take a nipple in her mouth and felt Callie's hands in her hair again.

Still pumping hard, she looked up.

"Bite me." Callie's eyes glittered as she pushed to word out.

Arizona felt her own arousal hike up a notch and she straddled one of Callie's thighs and groaned loudly at the contact of a toned and muscular thigh against her now damp and wanton core.

She leaned low over Callie and flicked her tongue against her ribs and then nipped at the flesh. She almost laughed at the sound that came from Callie, at the tightness that began to grip her fingers.

Moving down slightly, she reached the slightly fleshier, more muscular waist and nipped sharply again.

This time, she took Callie to the edge and sank her teeth in, biting hard enough to bruise and listened as Callie descended into a spiral of mindless, unconfined pleasure. Arizona rubbed against Callie, matching her movements and began dropping hard bites wherever she could.

She closed her eyes and pushed them both into oblivion.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together.**_

_Rated: M for language and mature themes._

_They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that._

_If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly._

_Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have zero medical knowledge. Enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc. _

_**I wanted to say thank you so much for the feedback and kind words of encouragement from those of you that have taken the trouble to post a review. It's gratifying to know that you're enjoying this story and it really does encourage me to keep at it.**_

_**Ok, so now that I've had my, aww shucks, I'm all bashful ,moment...back to the story telling. Not sure there's any sex in this one, sorry!**_

* * *

_**6**_

"It's too high up. If the lift goes out, we are seriously screwed."

"But it has a balcony." Arizona pleaded, pointing at said balcony that looked over the Seattle city.

They had spent the weekend apartment hunting. But because of their schedules they'd neglected to make a proper list of all their requirements and had bickered at every place they'd visited.

This was, however, the first place that Arizona really liked. It was the last place on their list and, ironically, in the same building as their current apartment, just 6 floors up.

"We can dine al fresco in summer and... and have moonlit dinners ..."Arizona bargained, a hugely persuasive smile on display, dimples very evident.

Callie narrowed her eyes as she took in the dimples. Clearly Arizona liked this place. A lot.

"You want the balcony so you can sneak out for a smoke."

Arizona grinned. "Ok , so you got me, but on the plus side, we're close to work, close to our friends." Her smile widened as she could see that Callie was beginning to crumple.

She hooked her arm through Callie's and dragged her through the open French windows on the hardwood floors into the spacious open plan lounge. She gestured to the ultra modern kitchen, her arm sweeping a wide arc, going into a serious sales pitch.

"Sweetie, just look at the size of the kitchen, you'll love cooking in that and there's space for a double study ..."

"We'll take it." Callie smiled at the excitement in her girlfriends eyes.

"Really? You mean it?" Arizona held her breath, she had fallen in love with the place the minute they walked through the doors. The apartment gave off a certain vibe; something that made her feel that she and Callie could be happy there.

"Of course I do, Arizona. I'll call the realtor right now." Callie laughed lightly at Arizona's joyous expression and pulled out her mobile phone.

"Callie, wait. You're sure?" Arizona knew that she could wrap Callie around her little finger but she didn't want them to make a decision as important as this just because Callie couldn't resist her dimples.

Callie had learned, over the last few months, to have a greater insight into Arizona's emotions and moods and looking into her face right now could see the hesitation written there.

"Darling, all I want is a place that I can share with you. This is the first place that you've been ecstatic about, so yes. I'm sure. I want to make my home here, with you."

Arizona nodded and almost shyly put her hand into Callie's, clasping the warm hand tightly in her own.

"If we decided to buy rather than rent, we could make it an investment, maybe for 5 years." She looked up at Callie.

"There are quite a few young families here and ...and there's a day care on the 10th floor, I checked." She hurried on quickly. "When the time is right, we could turn the spare bedroom into a nursery. I figured that maybe by the time the baby is 2 or 3, we'd look for something bigger."

Callie's amusement at Arizona's excitement faded and was replaced by an abiding, almost elemental love for her.

Her throat closed up and the words that she wanted to say wouldn't come.

"Calliope, I want this for us. I want a family with you, my darling. And not just because it's something that I want to do for you." she tilted her head, attempting to will Callie to understand what she was trying to say "It's something that I want to share _with_ you, for us." Arizona shook her head slightly, the blonde hair catching the late evening sun, turning it into spun gold.

Callie swallowed hard and pulled Arizona to her chest, holding her close to her heart.

"Every day you give me a reason to love you more. Every day I thank God that you found me, that we found each other again." She placed a kiss on Arizona's forehead, pulling back to look into her eyes; the dark lashes were spiky and wet with her tears.

"Callie, I honestly can't tell you how much I love you. You mean everything to me and I want us to have a family." She paused and decided to tell Callie the rest; Arizona hated keeping her thoughts from her.

"I was thinking that, on your current trajectory, you'd make Head of Orthopaedics in 2 years, 3 at the max. Once you've hit that milestone, maybe you might want to take your foot off the pedal for a while." She could see that, judging from the stunned expression and the teardrops resting on her incredibly long lashes, she had caught Callie completely off guard with her plans and knew that she should have discussed them with her, but after seeing Callie with the Rodrigo children, it had been all she could think about.

"We could start to look for a donor, figure out how we want to go about it ..." She was stopped by Callie's mouth.

"You take my breath away, Arizona Robbins." she said as she kissed her again.

* * *

Arizona stood at the end of the corridor that led to the research lab and watched her partner at work.

In fact, to the casual observer, Callie, with her I-Pod earphones firmly plugged into her ears, was dancing and singing the Mark Ronson / Amy Winehouse version of Valerie at the top of her lungs.

But Arizona knew that Callie would be using the energy from her singing and prancing around to fuel her work. Music and dance kept her energised and motivated. It also made the sometimes tedious research fun.

Arizona couldn't help but smile.

The woman was a pure joy to watch.

It wasn't just her beauty or even her talent, both of which were boundless and considerable. It was the sheer exuberance and vibrancy that exuded from her. It was the vulnerability that she sometimes exhibited at the most unexpected of times. It was her fierceness that often took Arizona's breath away, like recently during Arizona's jealous meltdown.

Thinking about how Callie had handled her after the fight made Arizona's nipples tighten to rock hard nubs and her body tingle with remembered pleasure. Oh boy, Callie sure did handle her that night. And then some.

Arizona decided to go in and give Callie her goodnight kiss, it was what she had come to the lab for; her shift was over but Callie wanted to get some more research done.

As Arizona approached the doorway of the lab, she could see, just ahead of her, almost hidden the open doorway of an empty office, another figure, staring intently at the oblivious dancing queen.

She couldn't see her face, but Arizona recognised Liz Bennett immediately and felt her throat close up with fury.

_How dare she stand there and perv at my girlfriend_.

Arizona stood still in her tracks and the woman, hearing footsteps, turned to gaze up at her. For a brief moment the two women just stared at each other, silently.

_Count to ten. No, count to 25. Arizona calm down. It's one thing to scream at your girlfriend in the privacy of your apartment, it's a completely different story if you go medieval on this bitch's narrow behind at work._

Arizona unclenched her fists.

She plastered a smile of some sort to her face and held out her hand, "Liz Bennett? I'm Arizona Robbins."

Liz Bennett was clearly not in the least bothered at being caught by one beautiful woman ogling another beautiful woman but nonetheless, took Arizona's hand and smiled warmly.

"Paediatrics, right? Nice to meet you. I haven't been able to meet everyone yet."

"Wow, you have the most amazing eyes." Arizona hadn't meant to notice anything about the woman, let alone, pay her a complement but it was true, she was quite striking.

Arizona also realised that Liz Bennett had no idea who she was. Or at least that _she _was Callie's partner.

Liz Bennett gave Arizona an assessing stare, making no attempt to hide her appraisal and despite herself Arizona laughed lightly.

The woman was clearly rapacious.

"Callie tells me that you're quite something ... in the OR." Arizona carried on blithely, deciding that she _wouldn't_ knock 7 bells out of her after all. It would be a shame to ruin such a pretty face.

Now Liz did look a little uncomfortable, trying to figure out if there was an undercurrent of tension coming from the tall blonde.

"Callie, said that...?"

Arizona nodded enthusiastically, "Hmm she was really impressed with your work over the last couple of weeks, especially the Benton case."

Liz shook her head, bewildered at the conversation.

"OK?"

Arizona took a single step closer to Liz.

"Callie's my partner. She told me all about you, Liz." Arizona was really quite proud of herself, she'd managed to speak English and not mad furious gibberish and, as an added bonus, she'd manage to refrain from wringing her neck.

"Oh. I see." Liz had the good grace to look embarrassed but only very slightly.

"So you're the reason she shut me down so fast?" she grinned, and gave Arizona another, thorough appraisal. "I have to admit, I can see why, you're pretty amazing yourself."

Arizona raised an eyebrow.

"The pair of you must make a beautiful couple, I don't suppose either of you are into threesomes, are you?" Liz grinned up at Arizona, her eyes sparkling with laughter.

On anyone else, the comment would have sounded like unadulterated sleaze, it _was_ unadulterated sleaze, but Liz Bennett made it funny and Arizona couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Umm. That would be no." Arizona laughed again, it was clear that Liz Bennett had probably charmed her way into more than her fair share of beds with her particular brand of charisma.

"I can't tell if you're an incorrigible flirt or a just an unrepentant voracious whore but my girlfriend said no and she meant it. OK?"

The smile was still in place but the humour had left Arizona's eyes.

"Seriously, Liz, you don't want to mess with me."

Liz debated internally for all of half a second. It was no secret that she liked women and even though Calliope Torres was an utterly fascinating proposition, she had clearly made her choice.

In a gesture of appeasement, she held her hands up.

"I'm sorry if I offended either one of you; I'll stop."

Arizona nodded and watched as Liz Bennett took a short glance in Callie's direction and walk away.

.

The next day, 2 dozen, long-stemmed, blood red roses were delivered to Callie's apartment. The card attached read:

_To the one that got away and her beautiful fiercesome lover._

"Jesus, Arizona, what did you do to her?" Callie was aghast and slightly aroused at the thought that Arizona had come to her rescue.

"Oh, I just made her see the error of her ways." Arizona smirked.

"Well, whatever you did, it's a much better route than going to Human Resources."

Arizona gave Callie a peck over her cereal.

"I think we've heard the last of Elizabeth Bennett."

* * *

"I had to practically sell my soul to convince her that it was perfect for us...Yeah, I know, she's so mean to me, Mom." Arizona stuck her tongue out at Callie forgetting that she was in a vulnerable position.

Arizona was on the couch with Callie sitting on the footrest in front of her with Arizona's feet in her lap. She'd offered a foot massage in lieu of cooking dinner that night and was making good on her promise while Arizona made her daily call to her parents.

She yelped as Callie trailed her fingers lightly over the soles of Arizona's feet.

"Be nice or you're in trouble," Callie warned playfully, her hands firmly grasping Arizona's ankles, aborting any attempt to pull them away.

"I lied, Mom. Callie was an angel about it. It's got a pretty big guestroom and as well as a double study... you should see the kitchen. I'll email you some pictures..."

Callie bent to her task and smiled at the enthusiasm in her partner's voice. There was a little work they wanted done to the apartment but planned to start furniture shopping pretty soon. She listened to Arizona discuss their plans for the decor and felt a moment's anxiety at the direction the conversation was taking.

"Tell your Mom hey from me and that I totally rocked that recipe she sent last week." Callie wanted Arizona to change the subject before she expanded on their future plans for the guest bedroom.

"Mom, Callie says hey ... and what recipe? How come you never send me recipe's to try out?" Arizona laughed at her mother's response and stuck her pink tongue out again at Callie.

Callie for her part was ever so slightly shocked at the direction her thoughts had taken.

She _really_ was becoming a grown up.

It wasn't a new idea that swirled about her head but listening to Arizona spell out their plans for the apartment crystallised everything she had longed for with Arizona for so long.

After Arizona had hung up Callie made some pretence of looking for some papers in her work satchel.

"Baby, I need to make a quick call, would you mind checking the boot?"

"Of your car? Why would they be there?" Arizona asked doubtfully.

"Please?" Callie pleaded already holding her mobile up to her ear.

Shrugging , Arizona pulled on a sweater and blowing Callie a kiss, left the apartment.

Tossing the phone aside, Callie knew that she had about 10 minutes max before Arizona came back.

She switched on her laptop and clicked on the Skype icon for a video call.

"Please be on-line. Please be on-line..."Callie muttered to herself.

"Good evening , Calliope. Two calls from Seattle in one evening, everything ok?"

Col. Daniel Robbins, US Marine Corp, was an undemonstrative man of few words. He spoke plainly and had little time for flannel. Despite being many years retired, his bearing still spoke of his military background and his firm upper chest a testament to his continued investment in physical exercise. He kept his iron grey hair trimmed neatly and was _always _clean-shaven. But for all his authoritarian demeanour, he was a principled and fair man.

Whatever his professional views on his daughter's sexuality might have been, he had continued to treat her in the exact same way as he always had and had been reserved but welcoming to Callie. She had stumbled across a shared interest in combat medals of the 19th century and had occasionally stunned Arizona by having lengthy conversations with him on various auction pieces.

But her reason for calling right now was one that was far closer to home.

"Everything is fine, Sir... is ...is Mary about? Would you call her please? I need to speak to both of you."

Callie hadn't planned what she was going to say, but wasn't in the slightest bit nervous, in fact she felt incredibly calm.

"Are you alright, sweetie?" Arizona's mother appeared on the screen, her greying blonde hair pulled away from her face in a loose pony tail. Each time Callie saw Mary, she got a glimpse of the woman that Arizona might become in 30 odd years. She hoped that they were together long enough for her to have the pleasure...

"Under normal circumstances, I really would have made a trip out to see you personally, but things have started to move quite quickly and I felt that it was important that I spoke to you both about my plans." Callie started formally.

"I know Arizona has spoken to you about the apartment that we're planning to buy together but I wanted to let you know that we are planning a long term future together. A traditional one. Well as traditional as you can get seeing as we're both women..." Callie allowed her mouth to run away with her a little, getting off track. She took a deep breath and carried on.

"Arizona is the most... amazing thing to happen to me. She's intelligent, incredible at her job, kind, principled, inspirational, patriotic , fiercely loyal ... and I love her. So very much." Callie ran out of words and shrugged slightly.

"With your permission, I'd like the opportunity to keeping loving her, forever. We both know that the time isn't quite right just yet, not with what we just went through but we both know what we what from each other and from our future and I wanted to let you know that my intentions towards Arizona are completely honourable.

Callie didn't want to ask for their permission, not exactly, simply because Arizona wasn't anyone's chattel or property. But her parents were incredibly important to her, which made them important to Callie and so, instead, she asked for their approval.

"Would you both give us your blessings?" She asked simply. Despite herself, her heart started to thunder.

"Are you financially able to support my daughter?" Col Robbins's voice was gruff.

Callie blinked.

"Yes Sir, I can email you a copy of my portfolio and something from my accountant ..."

"He's teasing you, Cal, sweetheart." Mary leaned forward and Callie felt her heart twist at the tears she could see in the older woman's blue eyes.

"I know how much Arizona loves you, Callie and we were so happy when the pair of you were able to sort out your differences. I'm just so very glad that you're going to, officially, be part of the family."

"Calliope. I trust you to do the right thing always with regards to our daughter and I wish you both good health. Be sure to get in touch the minute you pop the question." Callie could see Col Robbins reach for his wife's hand as he spoke and there was a rare and gentle smile from him as he signed off.

Callie snapped the laptop shut as she heard Arizona's key in the door.

Right, now all she had to do was get a ring.

* * *

"You're not even a pharmacist, I don't get it."

"It's an apothecary table." Callie exclaimed as if that was all the explanation that was needed.

"Yes, hon, you said and...?" There had started picking furniture out with a view to moving to their new apartment as soon as the paperwork had been completed. Callie had been adamant and brought the property outright but had both their names on the title deed and in her turn, Arizona insisted on paying for the furnishings. She knew that it was barely a drop in the ocean in comparison, but Callie knew it was important for Arizona to contribute financially to the relationship and didn't demur.

They were now in a store that specialised in unusual or original furniture, the weekend bustle of shoppers bypassing this artisan store in favour of the latest bargain.

"And it was hand-crafted in Malaysia ... and it's real purdy." Callie wheedled comically making Arizona laugh out loud. "I've always wanted one of these but never got round to getting one for myself." She added.

Arizona was amused at Callie's enthusiasm. She had fully expected for the day to be a bit of a chore but Callie had been as involved and serious as she about picking out bed linen and table ware.

"Seriously?" Arizona poked about in one of the draws and shrugged unconvinced.

"Look at all the draws, ample storage space for my CD's." Callie squatted down beside Arizona and opened a few more draws to demonstrate.

Arizona straightened up and grinned down at Callie, "I thought you told me that your entire music library was on your I-Pod?"

"So, I lied." Callie shrugged, unrepentant. "I got a few boxes in storage...Listen, we can put it in the corner of the study or in the hallway, there's plenty of room there or..."

"Sweetheart, you want it, it's yours." Arizona laughed at the huge smile Callie sent in her direction.

She closed the draws and stood up, about to take Arizona's hand to continue wandering about the store.

A surprisingly strong sneeze shook Callie and they both blinked at the force and sound of her bellow.

"Wow, bless you, baby. That was a big one." Arizona tucked Callie's tousled hair back and took an assessing look at her.

"You feeling ok?"

Callie placed her hand on her chest and grimaced.

"Urgh, it must be packing dust or something." She swivelled her shoulders and began rubbing her chest a little. "I feel like I just loosened one of my lungs with that sneeze."

Even as Arizona started to laugh, Callie felt another massive sneeze take hold and paused, waiting for the eruption to take hold.

But the sneeze didn't come.

Grimacing again, Callie looked over at a concerned Arizona.

"Don't you just hate it when a sneeze gets stage fright and ..."

To prove her wrong, the sneeze made an unexpected appearance, jarring her suddenly.

As the force of the sneeze propelled her forward, Callie felt herself stumble, trip and lose balance, instinctively holding her hands out to protect her head.

She heard Arizona gasp out and saw looming, the hard edge of a piece of furniture that looked like it was going to be her landing pad...then felt a solid jarring thump and ... then ... nothing.

.

Arizona lurched forward but was too far away to be of any use. She watched; her heart jumping into her mouth as Callie lost her balance and tip, headfirst into the corner edge of a standing armoire. She felt the bile rise up in her gut at the muted thud that Callie's temple made when it connected and then, without knowing how or when she moved, Arizona was kneeling beside the unconscious woman, carefully turning her over to her back and checking for obvious damage.

"Shit. Cal, baby. Open your eyes." Arizona could feel her heart beat slowly, or perhaps everything around her slowed down.

Airway? Her airway was clear.

Breathing? Callie was breathing, shallow. Fast. But breathing nonetheless.

Circulation? Pulse was rapid, very rapid.

The contusion on her forehead was already forming; vivid and ugly, the single line indentation running from her hairline down through her left eyebrow, clearly showing the point of impact.

Arizona looked up at the store attendant who rushed over to help. Fumbling in her pocket, she tossed him her mobile.

"Call 911. Now."

"I'll get them on the landline. No reception here."

"Calliope, sweetheart, can you hear me?" Arizona could hear her own voice but it sounded like it was coming from someone else.

Callie's eyes remained closed and Arizona bent low and patted her cheek, rapidly, desperate for any response. What seemed like eons passed and Callie remained still and unresponsive.

Arizona formed a fist and, using her knuckles, rubbed roughly on Callie's sternum, desperately trying to elicit a response.

"I'm awake. I'm awake. I'm... totally awake. See?" Callie groaned, her eyelashes fluttering as she tried to open her eyes, the pain of the store lights making her squint.

Arizona let out a harsh breath at Callie's disjointed words. The words flashed her back, for a breadth of a second, to the night she had confessed her love.

But the obvious pain and distress of the woman she offered her love to didn't allow for dawdling down memory lane.

"Baby, you're ok. I've got you. Just lay still and the paramedics will be here soon." Arizona kept her voice low and reassuring, betraying none of the sheer terror that swamped her for the long minutes of Callie's unconsciousness. The relief that rushed through her made her sag but she tried to hold it together as she stroked Callie's pale face and bent to drop a kiss on her crown.

"Sweetheart, just try and stay awake for me, hmm?" Arizona's fingers carefully probed Callie's skull for any depressions; the blow she received was considerable and there was every possibility of further, unseen damage.

"No, I'm good. I promise. I'm totally awake, see?" Callie repeated, squinting and then, to Arizona's horror, started to try and sit up.

"Cal, darling, you have to stay still for me, ok?" Arizona placed her hands on Callie's shoulders, leaning over her, trying to keep her as still as possible. Arizona knew that if Callie got it into her head to sit up, she really didn't have the physical strength to keep her down.

"No, I'm ... good, I promise. I ...uh... I'm good" Callie's words began to slur, quite noticeably and as she looked up at Arizona, her skin took on a sickly pallor, making the bruise on her forehead all the more grotesque.

Arizona took hold of her wrist and checked her pulse; it was racing and her breathing had got progressively shallower as time went on.

_Arizona, focus and stay calm. The bus will be here any minute. _She took a deep breath and swallowing her fear, allowed her training to take over.

"Sweetheart, do you know where you are?"

Callie looked up at her, the dark brown eyes flitting from Arizona's face to a point over her shoulder and back again. Her pupils were of equal size but she couldn't tell if they were properly reactive because she didn't have a penlight close to hand.

"Callie, tell me where we are."

Arizona could already distinguish the obvious signs of a MTBI but couldn't determine if there was any post-concussive disorder yet.

She watched, her mouth dry and heart racing, as Callie's eyelashes fluttered slowly and managed to fix her gaze on Arizona's face, a small pained smile creeping in on her poor battered face.

"We're in a fancy dresser store and you're still buying me an apothecary table," Callie's voice was painfully weak but Arizona felt relief shoot through her.

"Good girl." She couldn't manage any more words, fear creating a dustbowl in her mouth. She kept her tone gentle but firm, wanting keep Callie as calm and stable as possible.

Callie's hand swung up to try and touch the huge lump on her forehead and Arizona carefully noted that there was some physical disorientation as she floundered, not quite able to make her hand go where she wanted it.

Grabbing at her wrists before she did more damage, Arizona held fast to the slightly clammy hand and prayed for the paramedics to show up. She felt like screaming but knew it was important to stay calm for Callie.

"Hush, darling, keep still for me, ok? The paramedics are on their way."

"Arizona ..." Callie's pallor deepened suddenly and Arizona quickly read the look of desperation on Callie's face and moved swiftly to turn her on her side as the retching started.

She held her head carefully; she didn't want to aggravate her unsupported neck but also needed to ensure that Callie didn't choke on her vomit.

"It's ok, my love, I've got you. I've got you." Arizona whispered softly as she slowly lay Callie back down. She had gone a deeply unpleasant grey and as she lay back, Callie grasped at Arizona's hand and closed her eyes in pain and exhaustion.

Gratefully accepting a wet wipe offered by one of the gawping on-lookers, Arizona tenderly wiped Callie's face and mouth.

"Honey, you have a concussion, I know it's hard but I really need you to stay awake for me. Can you do that?"

Callie's eyelids fluttered as she forced her eyes open. Unerringly, she found Arizona's blue gaze.

Amazingly, a hint of a smile came to her face as she took in Arizona's outwardly calm gaze.

"Every time." She whispered, her voice so faint that Arizona had to bend low to catch the word.

"Every time, what?" Arizona remembered Callie's response but wanted, needed to keep her talking, anything to prevent her from sinking back into unconsciousness.

"Your eyes... your eyes...they tell me ...how much you care. Want ...to spend my ...life with ...you."

Arizona blinked for a second and saw a flicker of amusement in Callie's drooping eyes.

"Did you just serenade me, badly, with _Endless Love_?"

At Callie's crooked grin, Arizona nearly burst into tears.

She cupped Callie's cheek and murmured, brokenly, "Please be ok, baby, please."

**_TBC_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together.**_

_Rated: M for language and mature themes._

_They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that._

_If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly._

_Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have zero medical knowledge. Enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc_

**Thanks, once again, for the kind comments. Much appreciated.**

* * *

**7**

Derek shone a light into Callie's pupils and watched her reactive pupils closely.

"Callie, the CT has come back clear, with no indication of ICP, which is obviously good news, though your MTBI is likely to have some symptoms." He snapped off the pen light and put it in his pocket and finished his exam.

"It's probably a good idea to keep you overnight at least, for observation. You took a sold knock and though it doesn't look like there's any long term damage, you both know the drill." He looked round and encompassed Arizona in his comments.

"Derek, she'll be more comfortable at home. You know I'll take care of her." Arizona looked over at Callie and smiled encouragingly and tried not to wince at the size of the lump on her forehead. There was a fair bit of swelling and her left eye drooped a little, forced shut by the hematoma. The lurid colour of the bruise made her pallor even worse.

Derek, however, was already shaking his head as he scanned the other results that Meredith had just brought in.

"Did either of you catch that stomach bug that went round a few weeks ago?"

"Arizona's the one with the weak stomach in our family," Callie quipped, her voice rough with exhaustion.

"Well, you temperature is slightly elevated, but it's unlikely to be the bug. If Arizona's already had it, you would have followed very shortly afterward." He pushed his hands into his pockets and smiled with sympathy. "It could be the stress of the concussion but that combined with the period of unconsciousness staying here would be my recommendation."

He looked over at Arizona, who was standing beside Callie, slowly stroking her hair.

Arizona had handled matters well, which was not always a given when medics dealt with loved ones, but she looked pale and could probably use the rest.

"Callie, you know it makes sense. Arizona can go home, get a shower and a few hours sleep and come back."

Left to her own devices, Callie would have seriously considered an AMA discharge, she really did want her own bed but Derek had pointed out that Arizona needed a break as well and squinting up at her girlfriend, realised how drained she looked.

"Yes, Derek, thank you." She tried for a humorous pout, hoping that she didn't look like a stroke patient on morphine. "You're right, of course. I shall submit myself to the mercies of the staff just as long as I'm allowed real food while I'm here."

"Liquids only for the first 12 hours" Arizona and Meredith chorused.

"Damn it."

.

After Derek and his team left them, Arizona sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over Callie, staring at her poor bruised face. She didn't want to leave her, but she knew that Callie needed her rest. If she were honest, Arizona knew that she needed to get some sleep as well as calm down a little, so that she could bring Callie home tomorrow.

Callie reached out and caught hold of Arizona's smaller hand, feeling the slight tremble. She was very pale and had been pretty quiet once they'd got to the hospital.

"Are you ok, love?" she asked gently. She could only imagine how hard the last couple of hours must have been for Arizona. She could still remember the fear that had raced through _her _at the thought of Gary Clarke hurting Arizona all those months ago. Seeing her take a swan dive into a solid piece of bedroom furniture couldn't have been easy.

"I'm sorry I was such a clumsy doofus..."

"Don't be silly," Arizona chided, a small smile on her face. "I'm just glad that you're ok. That's all that's important."

"Are you tired?" Callie asked, examining Arizona's face with a squint. Trying to take a good look at your loved one with one eye was proving to be quite tricky.

"A little bit," Arizona admitted, playing with Callie's larger warm hand.

Callie knew that Arizona wouldn't leave her, not yet, not right away. So perhaps she could kill two birds with one stone.

"Me too. Will you hold me, until I fall asleep?" Callie figured that this way, Arizona might get a little sleep rather than going home and worrying like crazy.

Without another word, Arizona carefully clambered up and snuggled into Callie's back, placing her arm around her waist and a kiss on her closest ear.

"I'm so glad you were with me today, Arizona. You made me feel so safe...I can't quite explain it, but you seemed to be hovering over me like an angel, taking care of me."

Arizona tightened her arm, hugging Callie closer but said nothing, listening to Callie's drowsy murmur, hoping that she'd fall asleep.

She closed her eyes and quietly said a prayer of thanks.

.

Arizona lay perfectly still and opened her eyes.

She could feel Callie's warmth against her and feel the rise and fall of her chest under her hand but there was something amiss, something that had woken Arizona and it wasn't the memory of the sickening thud of Callie's head hitting the armoire.

Callie was wheezing loudly and it was the sound of her laboured breath thing had woken Arizona up. She sat up slowly, and carefully got out of bed. She knew that a nurse had come in every couple of hours to check Callie's vitals but she couldn't be sure that they'd made a note of the wheezing. Moving round the other side of the bed, she took a close look at Callie's face, wincing at the bruise that had turned solid black with purple and blue at the edges. She looked peaceful enough and was clearly deeply asleep but the breathing bothered Arizona, so she went to find a nurse and to see what had been noted in her chart.

At the nurse's station she flipped through Callie's charts and noted that her temperature was still elevated but nothing else out of the ordinary had been noted.

She knew it wasn't her place to do this but didn't want to pull Derek in for a consult at this hour, so Arizona decided to order some blood cultures, so see if there was an infection causing the wheezing and the temperature. If she didn't like the results, she'd page Shepherd.

She went back to Callie's room and watched her for a moment before placing a light kiss on her cheek and settling in the chair to wait for morning to come.

.

"Callie, you know that you're not meant to out and about."

She had brought Callie home earlier after Derek checked her again, the day after the accident and gave her a partial all clear. She was still running a slight temperature but nothing had come up on the blood work so, Arizona had brought her home, tucked her up in bed, allowed her 5 minutes to call her family and then insisted that she get some rest.

That was barely 2 hours ago.

Arizona looked up from the couch and tutted at Callie who had just wandered out of the bedroom in a pair of sweat pants and hooded top, wearing a bright lime green vest on under her hoodie.

"We both know that there's no way I'm staying in bed all day. Besides, I'm bored and my head hurts."

"I'm not surprised in that tee-shirt, doesn't that colour make your eyes' go funny?"

"Very cute," Callie stuck her tongue out and meandered about for a second or two.

Out of the blue she sneezed a couple of times in quick succession, neither as powerful as the sneeze that had caused her to trip and fall.

"Bless you, hon. You ok?" Arizona watched her carefully. This sneezing was slightly odd and out of place and if it didn't stop soon, Arizona was going get an ENT specialist to look into Callie's nasal cavity and sinuses.

"Yep. Thanks." Callie shoved her hands into her pockets and mooched about the apartment, picking things up and putting them down again.

A bored and restless Callie was quite a sight to behold.

Arizona held up a glossy magazine, hoping to tempt her to relax a little.

Callie pouted and Arizona had a flashback to the time Callie managed to catch chicken pox and was stuck in an isolation room for 3 days. As if the itching and the fever weren't bad enough, Callie nearly went insane with boredom at her enforced captivity.

Arizona patted the couch, inviting Callie to join her; perhaps the offer of a cuddle might entice her to sit down for more than 3 minutes.

"Come, let me give you a cuddle."

She chuckled lightly at the eagerness with which Callie made for the couch. She yelped slightly as Callie dragged her onto her lap and wrapped her arms about her.

"This was not exactly what I had in mind but ok. You comfy?" She felt Callie nod and sigh happily.

Arizona could hear Callie's heart beat under her ear and thinking back on Callie's chickenpox episode felt a pang of shame when she recalled how she'd lied about not ever having the disease.

"If I tell you something, will you forgive me?" Arizona traced a pattern on Callie's arm avoiding looking up into her face.

"Depends. What did you do?"

"Umm….well, you have to understand that I was still learning to love you then. I mean, I was already _in_ love with you ….but…"

"Is this about you lying to me about chicken pox?" Callie nuzzled Arizona's head, smiling a little.

"How…..how…. you _knew_?" Arizona squealed.

"Not so loud….my head hurts."

"You knew?" she whispered apologetically.

"Of course I knew. In your line of work, 6 years of post med school paediatric and surgical training, no way you haven't had the chicken pox." Callie reasoned.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Arizona buried her face into Callie's shoulder, now really ashamed of herself.

Callie pulled her back a little and looked into Arizona's her aghast face.

She dropped a reassuring kiss on her lips and shrugged.

"It was the first time we had to deal with sickness as a couple. Though you're amazing with kids, at the time, I just figured that you stank when it came to adult patients." Callie chuckled, knowing that it was an easy way to get a rise of her Arizona.

"You did not think that." Arizona sat up straight, affronted.

"No?" Callie challenged, trying not to laugh out loud at the aggrieved expression on Arizona's face.

"What _did_ I think then, when my beautiful, loving, caring girlfriend refused to come anywhere near me for 12 hours? Hmm?"

"Ok. You thought that I was rubbish when it came to adult patients." Arizona tactically relented realising that she got off easy and snuggled back into Callie's arms.

"I am sorry, you know." She kissed Callie's neck, inhaling her warm scent.

"Uh huh. Don't worry about it. You can make it up to me, easy." Callie's hands were meandering slowly over Arizona's body, playing, with intent, with the edge of her sweater.

"Oh yes?" Arizona smiled. If Callie thought she was getting any she was going to be disappointed and grabbed hold of her wandering hand before it found its way under her clothes.

"Aww, I just wanted a little sugar," Callie beamed hopefully at Arizona, who laughed at her optimistic expression and wriggled out of her arms.

Arizona knew exactly how easy it was for her to fall under Callie's spell and right now the woman needed rest, whether she wanted it or not.

"You know, there is research out that supports sex as a recovery aid. I promise I won't exert myself. I'll just lay back and let you take care of me, baby." Callie wasn't giving up without a fight and gave Arizona her best come hither smile, waggling her eye brows lasciviously.

"Nice try, gorgeous . Now behave yourself." Despite herself, Arizona could feel the slow burn of arousal at Callie's smile and figured it would be a good idea to take herself out of arms reach.

"I'll fix us some lunch and, if you're good, we can go to the park later and feed the ducks."

"Hmpf" Callie slumped back on the couch and picked up journal, flicking through the pages. For a moment there, she thought she was on to a winner. Now, all she had to look forward to was feeding the ducks.

But it was a sunny, blustery sort of day and it would be nice to get out for a while. And Arizona loved the park, her enthusiasm was always contagious and Callie unfailing enjoyed herself when they went. Arizona was always in a good mood after spending time at the park, which could mean that Callie might get lucky later on.

With that pleasing thought floating around in her mind, Callie closed her eyes for a minute. Arizona was a fucking superstar. There really was no other way to put it, Callie had been able to piece together the fact that she had been out cold for about 5 or 10 minutes and it had taken ambulance nearly 15 minutes to get the mall. Callie could barely remember the incident itself, let alone the long wait and ride to the hospital.

They were trained to be calm in the face of extreme pressure and in life and death situations but they were human and Callie was so grateful that Arizona had been able to hold it together for her.

She got up and went over to the kitchen, where the blonde was making pasta.

"Callie, come on, now. We can't, not yet" Arizona was being firm and it made Callie smile.

"I have deferred my sugar request until later." Callie announced and then scooped Arizona up in a bear hug, pulling her clear off the floor.

"I love you Arizona Robbins. I do not deserve you, but I am so thankful that I have you in my life." She placed her back down and clasping her face in both hands bestowed the gentlest of kisses on her lips.

Arizona, about to yell at her for picking her up, stopped and stared at Callie. She felt like she was a cliché but didn't really care. There wasn't anything better than being in love with someone, wonderful, like Callie and have them love you back.

She stroked the side of Callie's face.

"You really are a darling, aren't you?"

.

The park was quiet and peaceful, the occasional jogger passed them by, and little children running about madly, unsteady on new feet, joyous at their freedom and independence, mothers and nanny's keeping pace and a watchful eye.

Arizona clasped Callie's hand in hers and turned her face up to the sun, enjoying the warmth of the late summer, she looked over at Callie and refrained from asking how she felt.

It was all she had done for the last 24 hours.

Callie had opted to simply brush her hair a little differently to cover the bruise and swelling. The fact was that the hideous colour and size made it nigh on impossible to hide the injury, so Callie just ignored it as much as she could.

They sat on a bench and feed the ducks and enjoyed the simple pleasure of an afternoon together in the park and each other's company.

Callie reflected on how easy it was to be with Arizona, how easy it was to love her and felt a sense of anticipation at their future.

She turned on the bench to face the blonde, enjoying the way the breeze played with her hair and how the sunlight brightened her eyes.

"It's such a beautiful day, isn't it? It would have been the perfect day for a hike, you know?" Callie looked at Arizona's smiling face.

"You know what, how about we go for a weekend hike, the next time we have a few days off together?" A thought was forming in Callie's mind and she wanted to share her love of nature and the outdoors with Arizona. Callie looked at Arizona's fingers, intertwined with hers and the thought popped into her head that she would need to find out what her ring measurement was. She toyed with Arizona's smaller hand, wondering how she was going work that out without revealing the reasons why she needed the ring size.

"I know it's not Fiji or Spain but hey, we can still have a good time, right?" _Perhaps we can go to Spain for our honeymoon. _Callie knew that she was getting ahead of herself, she hadn't even picked a ring yet, let alone asked the question and here she was, already planning the honeymoon_. One step at a time, Callie. She's got to say yes, first._

"Hiking?" Arizona could sense an undercurrent of excitement and something else from Callie; it was a nervous energy and somehow, Arizona didn't think it had much to do with hiking.

She smiled, nonetheless, acquiescent. "Hiking with you could be fun, though I haven't done much for a long while. We'll have to take it easy."

Callie smiled at her. And then took breath.

"Ok , so I want to ask you something and I know it's coming completely out of left field but I want you to consider it, ok?" Callie spoke again, looking intently into Arizona's eyes.

_Oh my God. Is she going to propose?_

Unbidden, the thought popped into Arizona's head and she was taken by surprise at the joy that flooded her being at the thought. It was probably far too soon for them to think about marriage but Arizona almost flung her arms around Callie, even before she's asked the question.

"Ok." She responded carefully, keeping her emotions in check.

"I'd like it if you came to mass with me on Sunday."

"Huh?" That didn't sound like a proposal and Arizona wondered if she'd heard wrong.

"I know. I know. I don't go that often and I guess it's a little weird to invite you but... faith, my faith is important to me and sometimes, I feel the need to formally give thanks and I go to church to do that." Callie looked at Arizona's expression and smiled a little.

"Geez, have I weirded you out? It's just...it's important to me and I wanted to share it with you..."

"No. No. I'm just a little taken aback, that's all. I wasn't expecting that."

_Damn it Arizona. Why did you go and think that she was going to propose? Now that's all that you'll be thinking about._

"Maybe it's this knock on my head or something but...I know so sound like an overwritten, 18th century romance novel, but I'm so glad I have you in my life and I want God to know how happy and thankful I am." Callie had started to blush and was looking across the park, avoiding Arizona's slightly perturbed gaze.

Arizona swallowed her disappointment; perhaps this was why Callie was a little nervous. She'd never invited her before so, perhaps it was a big deal.

But the glow of feeling that Callie was now so sure of her, of their love for each other that she might propose persisted and Arizona was almost dizzy with excitement even though the proposal hadn't materialised.

She smiled cheerfully, really, really hoping that Callie couldn't read her mind right now.

"Of course I'll come to mass with you, sweetheart."

* * *

"Mark you have to help me. I'm going out of my mind."

"With a lump that size on your head, I'm not surprised. What did Shepherd have to say?"

"What? No. I'm not talking about this." She gestured to the purple, yellow and blue bruise on her forehead.

"I want to propose to Arizona, but I'm not sure what kind of proposal she wants. I don't know if I should do something low key or extravagant or humorous... "

They were catching a mid-morning coffee break in the cafeteria on Callie's first day back at work. Derek hadn't cleared her for surgery yet but she was bored at home and came in to check on her pre and post op patients and to do some paperwork.

But even more than her eagerness to return to work, was her desire to propose to Arizona.

In real terms, there was no need for them to rush to the altar, they had plenty of time. And considering their recent history, it was probably a good and sensible idea for them to wait, for a while before actually tying the knot. Callie doubted that Arizona would object to a long engagement but the thought of continuing their journey together, by placing a ring on her finger, filled Callie with excitement.

"What's the rush? I thought you were going to wait a while?" Mark took a bite of his breakfast muffin.

"I got her knocked up." Callie smirked.

Mark coughed as his muffin went down the wrong way.

"There is no rush. I just want her to know that I love her and that I mean business."

"Why ask me?" He took a step away from Callie as she helpfully thumped on his back. The woman didn't know her own strength.

"I thought you proposed to Little Grey. Didn't you?"

Mark winced a little but responded in a roundabout way. "You can't duplicate these things, Torres. You need to nail down what Blondie likes and then tailor your proposal to match her. Have you got a ring yet?"

"I'm working on it. But it's becoming a bit of a nightmare. I want it to be a surprise but I don't like keeping things from her..."

"Seriously? After what happened at that surprise birthday party you threw her? You want to repeat that debacle?"

Callie rolled her eyes a little.

"No, not like her birthday...and...and it won't be the same. There was a lot of other stuff going on for us then." Callie paused for a moment, thinking back on that day. It was tinged with the sadness of the loss of little Wallace but it was a day that she was never going to forget.

"We both know this is going to happen." Callie said confidently. "We know what we want from the future, so it won't be a surprise in that sense."

She chewed her lip. "Perhaps I'm over thinking this; I know she's romantic..."

"So, do something romantic." Mark nodded sagely.

Callie shifted her weight to one hip and gave him a hard stare.

"Oh, that's real helpful. Do something romantic. Like what? Dinner, moonlight and a ring? That's not romantic, that's pedestrian. I need to come up with something better than that."

Mark perked up a little. "I know. I saw this guy propose to his girl friend on Youtube. They were walking through Central Park ..."

"You think I'm going to hire a string quartet, a circus and do a number from Glee?" She smacked him on his arm.

"Not helping, Mark. I need something that says that she is loved, that she is different and special and that she is the one. What I don't need is something that is so wildly over the top that she thinks I'm over compensating."

Mark rubbed his arm. At some point he really was going to have to tell her to stop hitting him.

"Yeah, you're over thinking this thing. And besides, why not ask a woman. Ask Yang." At the look she gave him, Mark took a few steps back, now really afraid that she was going to hit him and mean it.

"That's your advice, Sloan? Ask Yang? The woman is wonderful, in her own way. But romance? We both know I'd be better off asking that muffin you're eating."

Callie sighed loudly, feeling frustration bubble up. This should be fun and right now it wasn't. It was stressful.

"I just need to know ...how to do it ... properly."

"Callie, seriously, you know she's going to say yes, you know what makes her tick. This shouldn't be too hard. You're simply obsessing for no reason. Get the ring and everything will fall into place."

.

"So we were just sitting there, enjoying the sunshine and ice creams and she starts talking about hiking and out of the blue, I get this really weird feeling that she was about to propose."

Arizona had just completed a short procedure on a 12 year old and Teddy was chatting with her as she scrubbed out.

"Oh gosh, did she?" Teddy's eyes lit up with excitement for her friend.

Arizona threw her a look.

"She invited me to go to church with her."

"Oh. Oh." Teddy was nonplussed.

"My thoughts exactly. What I can't figure out is whether she had been about to propose and changed her mind for some reason, which isn't the most reassuring thought I've had all day."

Arizona, kept her eyes downs as she sluiced her arms down. She felt both a sense of disquiet and amusement at her predicament but Teddy seemed to understand, and patted her gently on the shoulder.

"Or, she didn't have any intention of proposing and it's all in my mind; which is an even worse thought, because now, now all I keep seeing is an image of us, somewhere down the line married."

"Arizona, there's no problem here, you know that, right?"

Arizona began to dry her hands and laughed lightly. She flung the damp towel into the collection bin and leaned against the scrub sink, considering her friend.

"Actually, I do. It's just the strangest feeling ever. I never really gave much thought to a marriage in that sense. I think that we had sorted out the big stuff, the important stuff like having a family in a few years and planning our careers and being committed to each other, you know? But marriage was something we'd do later, maybe. And now..."

"Now?" Teddy smiled at the faraway expression on Arizona's face as she talked about her future with Callie. She couldn't help the little pang of envy she felt at the sheer joy that lit up the other woman's face when she spoke about her partner.

"This is the trouble with being single-minded. I get that way sometimes, I get a thought or an idea stuck in my head and I can't let it go. Now, all I can think about is when she might ask or whether I should ask her instead." Arizona covered her face with her hands, laughing with no small amount of embarrassment.

"God, I sound like a teenager obsessing over the quarter back at high school."

Teddy laughed out loud, "As long as your charts aren't covered with _Arizona hearts Callie_, I think you're safe."

Arizona giggled, a little nervously. She knew damned well that in her sock draw at home, there was a napkin that had a little sketch she had done of Callie's smile.

"Look at it this way, inviting you to church is a pretty big step; she's probably taking it in stages. Making sure that you're on the same page." Teddy was still speaking and Arizona dragged her mind away from the time that she sat in a corner at Joe's and first spied the beautiful woman smiling at a colleague.

"You know what? I'm going to wait it out. I've got vast reserves of patience, especially for Callie. I'll wait and see what she's got planned."

"You think you can do that? Wait it out? Without chewing your arm off?" Teddy teased as they made their way out of the scrub room.

They both laughed and coincidentally bumped into Callie who was coming round the corner on her way to observe a procedure by a colleague.

"Hey sweetie," Callie greeted Arizona and threw a smile at Teddy.

She liked Teddy Altman, respected her achievements, admired what she had done in her life. But more than that, she really liked that she was such a good friend to Arizona.

"Still on for lunch?" she queried slowly, noting the matching grins on each of the women's faces.

"Uh huh," Arizona giggled, taking a sideways look a Teddy, who seemed to find the tip of her trainer fascinating.

"What's so funny?" Callie asked and grinned a little at the peal of laughter that met her question.

"We were discussing the merits of increased levels of patience in a surgeon... during ...ummm... surgery." Arizona, improvised, badly.

Callie narrowed her eyes at Arizona, noting the slight flush to her cheeks, the amusement and ... anticipation that gleamed out of those intense blue eyes.

_She knows. Damn it. Am I really that obvious?_

Arizona read the slight twitch of amusement and irritation in Callie's eyes and started giggling louder, unable to help herself.

_She knows that I know. And she's going to kill me if I don't stop laughing._

Callie drew herself fully upright and looked down at Arizona, who making a bad job of swallowing her laughter.

_She knows that I know that she knows. Goddamn it. So much for a surprise. _

"So, I'll see you both at lunch, then."

Raising a severe eyebrow at Arizona, Callie nodded politely to Teddy and walked off.

Teddy laughed at the hysterical Arizona.

"You know, to pay you back, she just might put your ring into a cupcake and watch you eat it."

* * *

"Mark, I swear to you, you'll feel better about things."

"No."

"It's the adult thing to do."

"And yet, I'm still not doing it."

"Mark ..."

"Callie, I watched her sob over another man. A man she slept with before I was barely out of her bed. There's no point."

"There's every point. I know this must stick in your craw but the fact is we both know that you are just being stubborn and proud. And stubborn and proud don't keep you warm at night, does it?"

Mark rolled his eyes at Callie.

They were already at lunch, waiting on Arizona and Teddy to join them.

"You need to forgive her, Mark and besides, you slept with Addison. How come it's ok for you but not ok for her? Don't be such a pig."

Callie smiled as she saw Arizona with her tray approaching the table.

"Hey, some people can take it. I can't. I'm not proud of it but there you go. Do you think that Hahn would have taken you back, if she knew that we hooked up again?" Mark pushed a chair out for Arizona, missing the startled look on her face.

She shot a look between Callie and Mark and then stared at her meal.

Callie closed her eyes for a second. Mark had such a big mouth sometimes. There was no good reason for Arizona to know that. Callie tried to catch Arizona's eye but Teddy joined them and the moment was gone.

"Not exactly the same thing, Mark." Callie leaned forward. "Nice going, by the way."

"What? Some people are better conditioned to accept the occasional straying incident."

"No, they are not. Nobody thinks that straying is alright." Callie wanted to give him a seriously hard and debilitating kick but she knew it would seem like she was trying to shut him up, which she was.

"Well, if you're in a non-exclusive relationship, some people might think that it's ok." Teddy piped up as she took a bite out of her sandwich.

Callie looked at Mark and Mark looked down at his meal. They'd both forgotten Mark's pretty poor attempt at an adult relationship with Teddy.

Which automatically reminded them all of his dalliance with Reed and his invitation for Teddy to join them in a threesome.

Which reminded them all that Reed was no longer with them.

Which kind of brought Callie back to her original point.

"Mark, you are a colossal ass, most of the time. But life is short. Do something with yours."

Callie looked at Arizona again, who finally looked up at her and smiled lightly, her eyes shadowed.

.

"Mark, was it really necessary for you to mention, in front of my current partner, the one I plan to propose to soon, that I hooked up with you, whilst still with her predecessor?"

Callie caught hold of Mark just before he left the cafeteria. Arizona had gone to answer a page and merely smiled vaguely in Callie's direction as she left.

"Huh? She knew that already, no?"

"No. Mark. She didn't know that and she didn't need to know."

Mark shrugged slightly. He didn't see the problem. "Just explain that you were learning how to please a woman." He offered his trademark leer. "She's reaping the benefits of that last tutorial."

"Not funny, Mark. I didn't deliberately keep it a secret from Arizona but she didn't know about it."

"Huh. Wow. I thought you guys told each other everything."

"Did you tell Lexie about every skank you had a dirty liaison with?"

At his grimace, she smacked him upside his head.

"Oww."

"No, neither did I. And now, thanks to you, Arizona will think that I'm a cheater _and_ that I lied to her."

She gave Mark another, hard punch in the arm.

"Thanks. You've just made my day."

* * *

"You've been pretty quiet since we got home. Are you ok?" Callie knew that Mark's indiscretion had upset Arizona.

"You never told me that you cheated on Erica Hahn with Mark, Callie." Arizona said, her voice low. She hadn't meant to blurt her thoughts out so bluntly, but it had been on her mind since lunch.

"I'm not sure there was any reason to share that titbit with you. And I'm not sure I'd exactly call it cheating, considering the circumstances." Callie responded lightly, hoping that this wasn't going to be a problem.

Arizona's head shot up at Callie's words.

"You don't call that cheating? Are you being facetious, Callie? What the hell would you call it then?"

Callie's jaw tightened. It wasn't her finest hour, admittedly but she really didn't want to rehash that period in her life.

"Arizona, it was a long time ago and..."

"Oh, so that makes it ok? Because it happened a long time ago?" Arizona stood up, interrupting Callie's partial explanation.

Callie took a breath and tried to hold on to her temper.

"I didn't say it was ok. I was going to explain what was I was going through at the time but you know what, Arizona, it doesn't matter because it really isn't any of your business."

That stung.

"Actually, it is my business. I get to hear that you are _that_ woman. I wasn't expecting that, Callie. And I wasn't expecting to learn that you keep secrets from me.

"Will you grow up, Arizona? Did you really think that I was going to trawl out my every indiscretion for your inspection?" Callie was now furious and hurt.

"You know the essentials, I married George O'Malley, I slept with Mark Sloan and I had an almost relationship with Erica Hahn."

"And you slept with Alex Karev and you cheated on Erica with Mark, what else?"

"I said the essentials, Arizona. The big bits, the important bits..."

"And you don't consider cheating important?"

Callie was about to answer when Arizona's words sunk in.

"You know what, let's rewind a second. I'm _that _woman? What in hell does that mean?"

"I never thought that I'd have to worry about your fidelity." Arizona shot out, angry that the conversation had descended into acrimony so quickly.

Callie took a step back as if she'd been slapped.

"You think you have to worry about me being faithful to you, Arizona?"

The question brought Arizona back and she realised how badly she'd handled the issue.

She shook her head, her anger draining away, seeing the hurt and fury written on Callie's face.

"No. No, Callie. That's not what I meant...

"Yes it was, Arizona. Is that why you've been so quiet? Trying to figure out if you could trust me to be faithful?" Callie flopped down on the couch, not believing the conversation they were having.

"No. I was thinking about what Mark said and it bothered me. I want to talk to you about it and ... and didn't know if I was doing the right thing..."

"_By being with me?_ You're questioning whether you should be with me?" Callie jumped up again, incensed at Arizona's words.

"No. Of course not. And shut up so I can finish. Damn it, Calliope. You're putting words into my mouth." Arizona snapped, her anger surging back.

"I was questioning whether I should raise it with you, Callie and yes, it might have been a long time ago, but it bothered me, so I wanted to talk it over with you." She took a breath to calm down a little and stared into Callie's darkened face. Her arms were folded tightly and the tension in her body was clearly visible.

"I know I said it but I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I don't question your fidelity to me," she shrugged slightly.

"I just never thought that you would cheat, no on me, not on anyone. You've got to admit that hearing something like that would upset me, it would upset anyone. It's so unlike you, Callie."

Callie raised an eyebrow, her mouth tight, unwilling to accept the olive branch that Arizona held out.

"I'm curious, is it the fact that I was unfaithful that bothers you Arizona, or that I went back to a man for a one dirty, ill-advised session?" Arizona opened her mouth but Callie didn't give her the opportunity to respond, her anger climbing another notch.

"Seriously, Arizona, are you frigging kidding me? We're back to this? You, not trusting me?"

Arizona swallowed and hoped that she had the right words to reassure Callie.

"I've made you angry and I'm sorry. I trust you. I trust you with all of my heart." Arizona felt that she had put their relationship on trial and was now fighting for it with all that she was worth.

"I know I've been insecure in the past and you know I've working on that but Callie, please try to see things from my perspective. I learnt something new and not especially pleasant about you and even though it's something that happened in the past, it...it shocked me a little. I'm allowed to be a little shocked, Callie. It doesn't mean that I've stopped loving you."

Callie dropped her hands tried to loosen her shoulders, their argument had brought on a tension headache which was something she could have done without.

"I don't know why you'd put me on a pedestal, Arizona. You know how messed up I used to be, you know that I was stupid and immature. Why would you turn me into some sort of saint?"

Arizona sat down and looked up at Callie.

"You don't know how amazing you are, Callie, how courageous and brave ..." she stopped as Callie raised her hands in protest at the words pouring from Arizona's lips.

"But I understand what you mean and I love you, warts and feet of clay and all. I'm sorry I made such a mess of ..." she trailed off as Callie lowered herself beside her.

"Are you angry with me, Callie?"

"Nope. Not angry, not any more, not really. Just …. sad, I guess."

"This morning, when I woke up, there were 3 things on my mind." she looked over at Arizona, distressed at their argument.

"I thought about how much I loved you. I thought about how I was going to convince Derek to clear me for surgery and... and..." She stopped and shrugged.

"What was the third thing on your mind, Callie?" Arizona was taking a gamble asking this question now, but it was the only way she could convince Callie that she trusted her implicitly, despite their argument.

Callie examined her blunt fingernails, not meeting Arizona's gaze.

"You already know what the third thing was, Arizona."

"Calliope, ask me now." Arizona whispered.

The second held for what seemed the longest time and then Callie turned to face Arizona.

"Arizona, right now I feel like I've failed you." She let out a discordant bark of bitter laughter. "I actually feel as if I've betrayed you, betrayed this relationship. So, no. I won't be asking you anything." She saw Arizona's shoulder droop and put her hand up to run her fingers through her blonde hair.

"Just not today, baby." She said the words gently. "Today, isn't a good day for questions, Arizona."

Arizona knew that she was close to tears at the unpalatable words that they had shared but she nodded.

"I think...I think you'd have been pleased at the answer, Callie."

Callie nodded and smiled, just a little.

"I know."

**TBC**

* * *

**Apologies, I really don't know if this was covered in the show or not. So, for the purposes of this story, we're going to assume that Arizona didn't know about Callie's final fling with Sloan.**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together.**_

_Rated: M for language and mature themes._

_They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that.__This is almost exclusive Callie and Arizona, the other GA characters do pop up from time to time but please don't count on a fully fledged GA episode__here__._

_If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly._

_Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have __**zero medical knowledge**__. Enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc. _

* * *

_**8**_

Dinner was a strained affair, neither one of them particularly hungry or able to break the fog of polite small talk that hung over them.

Arizona looked over at Callie as they cleared the table and almost wished she could read her thoughts right now. She had a slight crease between her eyes and the usually smiling lips were set in a firm straight line, displaying not a hint of the ready and sexy smile that Arizona was so used to.

"Callie, are you... you know you haven't failed me, you haven't betrayed this relationship. You do understand that, right?" She still felt miserable at the how they had hurled harsh and angry words at each other and needed to find a way to make things right between them.

Callie looked up at her words, seemingly startled at the sound of Arizona's voice.

"You know as well as I do that what goes on here..." she gestured to her head, tapping the unmarked side of her forehead "...and what goes on here..." now placing her hand over her heart, "don't always match up." She looked over at Arizona wishing for a more eloquent way of describing her feelings.

"I know I haven't failed you, Arizona, and I know..." She stopped and half raised her hands in supplication.

"You know what, Arizona, it doesn't matter...we had a fight, we said some things ...it happens. Let's try not to over analyse it, ok?"

Arizona nodded, hesitant, hopeful.

"I'm going to go to bed, now." She reached her hand out to Callie, who was now seated on the sofa a note book open on her lap. She nodded, absently, not looking up.

"Will you... are you coming?" Arizona realised that she was tentative. She swallowed, hoping, needing to believe Callie when she said that her anger had gone.

Dark eyes looked up and met hers. There was a complicated look that Arizona just could not decipher, Callie's lips curved, just an upward tilt, the mere suggestion of a smile in her eyes.

"Go ahead, Arizona. I'll be in soon."

.

Her eyes dropped back to her note book and she started writing, leaving Arizona with no choice but to go and hope that she would follow soon.

_I was lost before I met you, in a barren wilderness and I did not know it,_

_I was blind before you came into my world and now I can see, _

_You brought life and colour and magic to my days._

_There is a symphony of music in every birdsong, and I hear it because of you_

_In your eyes, I see the wonder of life, the mystery of the forests and the majesty of the lakes, _

_I see the miracle of humanity and all the possibilities of a lifetime spent with you._

_In your smile, I see the sun, fresh and beautiful and new, _

_I feel the energy of each dawn and the vitality of every growing thing._

_In your touch, I am consumed by your passion and by your love,_

_In you, I find my every favourite thing;_

_I hear the laughter of a child, uncontrolled and joyous. _

_I smell freshly cut grass on an early summer's day; _

_I see the moon, full and bright and close enough to touch. _

_You make me want to be a better woman, to be all that I can be_

_With you I'm born again._

_._

Callie walked onto the bedroom and shot a look at Arizona. She was lying on her back, her hands folded across her chest, staring at the ceiling. The only light came from the lamp on the bedside cabinet on Arizona's side of the bed.

Callie disrobed quickly and climbed into bed, her eyes on Arizona's face. She had always thought that she was the one who wore her heart on her sleeve but Arizona's unhappiness was so clear to Callie that she felt her heart ache.

Arizona shot her a small and turned to switch the lamp off.

"Leave it, Arizona." Callie commanded softly. "I want to look at you."

Callie scooted closer and leaned over the supine blonde and fitted her mouth gently against Arizona's immediately responsive lips.

Callie closed her eyes and introduced her tongue, allowing herself the pleasure of exploring the soft lips and then the warm, moist cavity of Arizona's mouth. The sensation of warm, smooth tongue, sliding, sensuously against tongue was intoxicating to both women and they lost themselves, floating gently on a wave of emotion that bound them ever closer.

Callie placed her hand on Arizona's stomach and allowed it to rest there for a moment, while they continued to kiss, each one as soft and as gentle as satin against skin. There was no urgency, no feverish dash to reach completion, just a languid stroke of the tongue here and a playful tug of teeth there.

Arizona could feel the weight of Callie's hand on her mid-drift and with it came a curl of desire that kicked directly under the heavy warm hand.

A faint echo of alarm sounded in Arizona's brain.

"Cal, darling. We can't..." She dragged her mouth away and reached up to stroke Callie's face, immeasurably reassured by their closeness.

Callie turned her head slightly and placed a kiss in Arizona's palm.

"I want to be close to you, Arizona. I need it tonight. We both do." She flexed her fingers on Arizona's stomach and felt the muscles tense under her hand. Needing to feel skin, she slipped her hand under the tee-shirt, smiling at the sharp gasp, as her hand meandered along Arizona's ribs.

"Callie, your blood pressure... You know we can't." There was a hint of desperation to Arizona's voice as she felt the tug of arousal begin to take hold. When Callie was near her, it never took very much to cloud her mind completely.

She sat up, forcing Callie back but groaned as her movement pretty much allowed one of her breasts to simply fall into Callie's hand, which was still stuck under her top.

Callie massaged the fortuitous boob and watched Arizona's eyes droop shut for a second, her body melting into the caresses, before she forced them open again, instilled a little starch into her backbone and grabbed at Callie's wrist.

"Calliope, no."

"Don't you want to?" Callie asked mildly and leaned back against the headboard, observing the flushed Arizona very closely.

Arizona gave Callie a look.

The look said; are you _kidding_ me? Have you ever known me _not_ to want to?

But all she said was; "We have to keep an eye of your blood pressure, Callie." She waved her hand between their close bodies. "This is not helping."

"That isn't what I asked you, Arizona. I asked if you wanted to and in the interests of clarity, I'll rephrase that for you."

Callie leaned over Arizona, forcing her back, her lips so close that Arizona could literally taste the minty toothpaste that Callie used nightly.

"Would you like me to make love to you tonight, Arizona?" she whispered the words into Arizona's mouth, her tongue flicking against her upper lip.

"I feel the need for intimacy, to feel your skin against mine, my darling. I want to love you slowly and tenderly, if I may." She brought her hand up to stroke Arizona's clavicle, using a single finger to trace the bone.

"I want to feel the warmth of your love, Arizona and I want to show you how much I adore you." She dropped a tender kiss on the lips of the mesmerised woman. "I want to touch you, slowly and feel you tremble under my hand."

The tip of Callie's finger now rested at the base of Arizona's throat and they could both feel the wild flutter of her pulse.

"I'd like to bury myself in your passion, and feel the tightness of your body as you clench around my fingers. I want to lick your skin and drink the saltiness of your sweat as it pours down your body." Callie's eyes were a molten, syrupy brown and Arizona simply could not drag her eyes away.

Callie smiled, though she was feeling anything but humorous. "I'd like to taste your sweetness, Arizona. I'd like to use my tongue to drive you to distraction and then feel your orgasm in my mouth."

Arizona whimpered out loud at Callie's words. They wrapped themselves around her, like a physical caress and she could feel herself sinking deeper into a vortex of desire and emotion.

She blinked and shook herself out of the seductive spell that Callie was weaving around her.

"We can't always have sex to resolve our arguments, Cal." Arizona winced at her words. She sounded like a pompous prig and had grabbed at the first set of words that came to mind. They weren't exactly appropriate but she seriously needed to distract Callie and herself from the raw eroticism of Callie's words.

Callie laughed.

It was a low and earthy kind of laugh, one that should only be heard by a lover within the confines of a bedroom and Arizona felt a shiver of pure desire snake through her at the sound.

"We've resolved our argument, Arizona. This is make-up sex. And make up sex is good." Her eyes gleamed as she leaned close enough for Arizona to feel Callie's nipples, hard and prominent brush against hers.

Callie was right. Make-up sex _was _good and Arizona felt an unexpected rush of distress, cooling, but only marginally, her rampant desire.

"Callie, please stop. You're ...I can't take it anymore ...and you know we can't, your injury..."

Arizona leaned her head back, feeling tremors dance along her nerve endings at the images Callie words had invoked. She could barely remember how to speak, let alone convey the sentiment that; as much as she'd love to have Callie fuck her brains out tonight, it wasn't the best course of action bearing in mind her concussion.

Callie swooped in for a kiss. It was a deep and altogether more passionate kiss than the ones they shared earlier and Arizona was finding it increasingly impossible to hold on to her sanity. She could feel her sex throb and hum in anticipation and the hot moisture spread, soaking her knickers.

"Do you want me to stop because you're not in the mood, Arizona?" Callie watched as the blonde shook her head, a mirthless laugh escaping her at the question.

"Do you want me to love you tonight?"

There really was only one answer.

"Of course I want you to love me, Calliope. Always." Arizona whispered.

"Then tonight is all about you, ok?"

Arizona nodded slowly and allowed Callie to gently raise her arms and pull off her top, to reveal her heavy breast and painfully tightened nipples. Callie leaned forward and licked the tip of each nipple, coating the bud with moisture before gently blowing on each glistening tip.

"I am constantly amazed by how responsive your body is to my touch," Callie whispered, her tongue gently flicking back and forth over each nipple.

Arizona arched her back, pushing her breast closer to Callie, wanting, needing more contact. She sighed in throaty pleasure as Callie finally took a nipple in her mouth and suckled. The sigh graduated to a moan as she felt Callie's teeth graze against the turgid bundle of nerves before sinking her hands in thick black hair and tugging gently, mutely offering her other breast for the same attention.

Callie gentled her movements, she wanted this to last and at this rate, Arizona would shatter to pieces very quickly. And she needed to keep some measure of control over her own passion, which was slowly beginning to rise.

She stared into her blue eyes and smiled at Arizona, her lover, her friend, her heart.

"Sometimes I wonder if my super power is to turn you on at the drop of a hat. It's an amazing feeling to be able to touch you..." Callie muttered against the smooth pale skin, dropping kisses down Arizona's squirming torso. "To touch you, to taste you and feel your body writhe under mine, to hear you scream my name and know that I was able to do that."

Arizona sank back and wriggled out of her pyjama bottoms and smiled as Callie trailed her fingers slowly along her ribcage, enough to make her squirm and pout.

She begun to lick and nip at Arizona's stomach and abdomen, settling her body between Arizona's thighs and slowly worked her way down her body, Callie's tongue dipping into Arizona's navel and swirling her tongue gently in the sexy little indentation, grinning as Arizona's giggles turned into whimpers.

Getting up to her knees, Callie took Arizona's breath away by flipping her over onto her front and then straddling her thighs.

"Cal, baby you are so hot. I can feel your pussy burning; this can't be good for you." Arizona panted the words out, knowing that Callie really wasn't going to take any notice.

She shivered in anticipation and closed her eyes in pleasure as she felt Callie trail her long hair over her back.

Callie slowly tickled Arizona with her hair and then replaced her tresses with her mouth, sliding her body sensuously along Arizona's back.

"I can feel your bush rub against my ass, everything about you is so fucking soft..." Arizona murmured into her pillow.

"Not everything." Callie nipples felt like medium sized pebbles and she took a few breaths to calm her libido.

She placed a kiss on every vertebra from Arizona's coccyx to her nape and then pulled her up to her knees, so that both of them were kneeing on the bed.

"Oh yes, really?" Arizona inquired as she craned round to look into Callie's face. She captured her mouth in a deeply satisfying kiss, smiling at Callie's antics.

"Hmm, yes, really." Callie answered Arizona's non-question by reaching round with one hand to massage a breast.

"Ahhhh, I... think I understand..."

Callie smiled and adjusted her stance to spread Arizona legs a little, so that she was in between Arizona's legs, whilst still behind her. Callie stroked the milky white inner thighs with one hand gradually trailing them upwards until they reached the centre of all of Arizona's attention.

Callie knew that the hour she had spent teasing Arizona meant that she was going to come hard and fast.

She wrapped one arm about her waist as she plunged two fingers as deep as they would go.

Callie could feel Arizona shudder against her and she began to thrust slowly with her hips, mimicking Arizona's movements. They began to sway together in a dance that was private and their alone, their bodies glowing with perspiration.

Arizona leaned her head back against Callie and panted out loud, riding her hand, each slow thrust a little deeper than the one before.

There was so much she wanted to tell Callie, so much that she needed her to know; but the words wouldn't form, they floated away as the desire filled every part of her being.

"There is only you, Callie, only you."

Arizona didn't know if the words made sense or not. As she came, the only thing in her world that made sense was Callie.

* * *

"Baby, you were up most of the night, I know you didn't get much sleep." Arizona looked over at Callie and almost climbed back into bed with her. Her black hair was tousled and her eyes were heavy and sleepy and if she had her way, Arizona would have made love to her slowly and then rocked her to sleep in her arms.

But her pager was being insistent.

"You're not due to see Derek until, what, 13:00?" At Callie's sleepy nod, she smiled brightly.

"Ok, good. So, what you're going to do is this; you're going to stay in bed for a few hours. You're going to meet me for lunch at 12:30 and then we'll go see Derek together and if you feel up to it, stay and see you patients. How does that sound?"

Callie blinked and noting the determined set to Arizona's chin decided that her plan sounded great.

"I guess I could do with a few hours sleep, I think I'm coming down with a cold, which really is just perfect. No way am I getting to see the inside of an OR today." Callie complained as she yawned and snuggled down into the warmth Arizona's body left behind.

Arizona frowned at Callie's words and moved over to sit beside her on the bed.

"Come, baby, let me see." She instructed, placing two firm fingers against Callie's carotid to measure her pulse. There was a small crease between her brows as she stared at her chunky watch, counting the beats. She then spread her hand wide over Callie's chest, feeling the warmth.

"You are still a little warm and you were sneezing a bit last night. I think it'll be a good idea to mention this to Derek during his exam, ok?"

"It just feels like a cold, but yes. I'll mention it to Derek." Callie agreed as she saw the expression in Arizona's eyes. She wouldn't put it past Arizona to consult with Derek even before her appointment with him.

Arizona straightened up and looked at her pager as it went off again; she was toying with the idea of calling in and asking if a colleague could take the page so that she could stay with Callie.

She knew that she was probably being a tad ridiculous but she hated to see Callie sick; it unsettled her in a manner that she couldn't quite put into words. Impotence and fear didn't really cover it, even for something as mundane as chicken pox or a cold.

"Arizona, it's a just a cold, nothing major. My head's fine, I just feel a little achey, that's all. Go to work. I'll see you in a few hours. Promise." Callie smiled up at Arizona's concerned face and sat up and reached out to her, her arms wide.

Unquestioning, Arizona sunk into the embrace, burying her face into Callie's warm shoulder, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair.

"You look like you could use a hug," Callie held her tight for a moment and then pulled back to drop a kiss on Arizona's nose.

"From you? Always." Arizona smiled lightly and forced herself to leave the comfort of Callie's arms.

"Off you go. I'll see you in a few hours."

Callie leaned back and watched Arizona pull on a jacket and pick up her bag.

"Arizona," she called out.

The blonde paused for a moment, half way out the door, her face expectant as if hoping that Callie would ask her to stay.

Callie laughed gently, more at herself than anything; she wanted to invite Arizona to come back to bed, knowing that all she need do is ask but she resisted the urge.

"I'm mad about you, Arizona."

* * *

Arizona checked her watch as she listened to Lexie Grey present on a post-op 14 year old, who was recovering from liver surgery.

It was 09:40 and she wasn't due to see Callie for a few hours but she wanted to check in on her anyway.

Arizona mentally shook her head.

She knew that she was being over protective but she hated seeing Callie sick. She knew that it would bug the hell out of her girl if she hovered or coddled her, but right now, Arizona just couldn't help it. She knew that it was probably residual shock from seeing Callie unconscious and hurt a few short days ago and her need to check up on her every 10 seconds would soon pass, however, right now, Arizona was concerned about her and wanted to finish rounds as soon as possible so she could speak to her.

"Thank you Dr Grey. Michael will stay with us for a few more days to ensure that the liver is healing as expected and then we're going to send him home to a very proud family." Arizona smiled at the teenager and his tired looking parents. He had donated part of his liver to his younger sister, who was currently in a post-op isolation room, recovering from the transplant.

Sending the rest of the team off to chart and administer to the rest of the patients on the ward, Arizona spent a few minutes talking to Michael's parents, hoping that she was concealing her impatience.

Finally extricating herself, she found a quiet corner, pulled out her phone, quickly dialling Callie's number.

It rang out and then diverted to voice mail.

Arizona checked the time again. It was 09:55.

Perhaps Callie was still sleeping.

Arizona felt a twinge of guilt.

Callie had spent many long, languorous hours last night, making love to every inch of her body when she really should have been sleeping. It wasn't that Arizona was complaining about the sex, fact was, she had never felt so completely cherished, as she had in Callie's arms, last night. She had been soft, sweet and oh, so very tender and had taken Arizona to spine-tingling ecstasy several times.

The guilt blossomed a little.

She should have demurred but the need for intimacy with Callie after their argument was something they both needed.

Their argument had been stupid and Arizona knew she should have handled matters better; her insecurity with Callie was getting out of hand.

Perhaps the fact that they had let each other go before made her so paranoid now of losing her again but either way, Arizona knew that she couldn't keep spiralling out of control each time she worried about Callie's past or the people who might find her attractive. Callie had chosen her.

Callie loved her.

Of that, Arizona had no doubt. It was evident each time she looked at her with those gorgeously expressive eyes. Even when she was angry or irritated or exasperated with Arizona, the love, deep and abiding , was still clearly visible.

Arizona pulled in a deep breath.

She had never felt this way about any other woman.

But sometimes Callie was all she could think of; her amazing smile, her melodic voice, her rich back hair, her incredibly sexy sway as she walked...

Arizona leaned against the wall for support and closed her eyes for a brief second; there was a tightness in her chest when she thought of Callie; her kind, fierce, loyal passionate heart and her intelligent, enquiring mind.

It didn't make any sense to love someone this much.

And yet she did.

And Arizona was unapologetic about it.

She looked at her phone and decided to let Callie sleep and call her again in an hour or so.

* * *

Callie rolled out of bed a few hours later and groaned out loud.

She then sneezed.

Her body felt pummelled and her head was throbbing unpleasantly. She realised that she had woken up because she felt slightly short of breath and she could tell that she was running a fever.

Callie sneezed again. This time quite forcefully and whilst she didn't lose her balance, she knew something wasn't quite right.

She blinked rapidly as dark spots danced in front of her eyes for a moment. The mild headache that had been no more than white noise since the accident two days ago suddenly bloomed into a raging jack hammer assault, throbbing in the base of her skull.

The pain was enough to make her feel queasy and Callie took a deep breath, hoping to calm her stomach. The sunlight coming through the venetian blinds was stark and bright and Callie tried to shield her eyes from the brightness that seemed to slowly slice through her brain.

This headache wasn't quite normal.

The odds of her getting a clean bill of health from Derek were diminishing rapidly and if this was a cold, she must have a caught the genetically enhanced version of the common cold because there was no reason for her to feel this bad.

She stumbled into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the toilet seat for moment as she felt another couple of strong sneezes rock her violently, her shoulders heaving and her neck snapping forward with the force of the eruption.

The pain in her head now fully blossomed, in slow motion and in bright panoramic, high definition colour. Every crevice of her brain seemed to fill with light and colour and Callie was glad that she was sitting as the pain sapped all strength from her body. She squeezed her eyes closed, praying that the pain, from what felt like burning hot, serrated and rotating skewers slowly passing from her eyeballs to the base of her brain, would ease.

To make matters just a little bit worse, Callie could her phone ring, Roy Orbison's _Pretty Woman_, alerting her to the fact that Arizona was calling. She tried to tune the sound out, to shut down the pain and gritted her teeth.

Her body sagged with pain, her head hanging low and after a moment Callie attempted to open her eyes. She put her hand out in front on her and realised that her vision was badly blurred.

She needed to get help. She needed Arizona.

Whatever it was happening to her right now, it had nothing to do with the common cold. Callie could recognise the signs of increased intercranial pressure and knew that she needed medical attention fast.

Her mobile phone would be the closest; it was on the bedside cabinet in the bedroom. All she needed to do was take a few steps, hell she could crawl if it came to that.

First things first, she needed to raise her head.

All things considered, it was a poor choice of action.

Callie was hardly surprised as she felt the vomit rise up in her throat and abstractly wondered if she would make it to the bathroom door before she passed out.

* * *

"Dr Yang...Cristina..."

Arizona stepped out of her patient's room with a quick apology and called after Cristina as she saw the Asian-American walk passed the open door.

"What time do you get off?" Arizona asked her.

"Huh?"

"Your shift ends pretty soon, right?" Arizona was trying to keep her concern regulated but it was close to 11:15 and she hadn't been able to reach Callie on her phone.

"Yeah, but I'm scrubbing in with Dr Altman, she's got a transplant coming in and ...why, what's up?" Cristina, single-minded though she was, could see Arizona's distraction.

Arizona grimaced; loathe to share her needless concern.

"I ...uh...I wanted you to check up on Callie when you got home." She shrugged and looked down the hall, trying to compose herself, to shake off the slightly oppressive fear that was crowding her judgement.

"I was meant to meet her for lunch but I can't get away right now, I've got an emergency splenectomy coming in ... and it's probably nothing, but I can't get her on the phone..."

"She was at work yesterday, right? Derek wouldn't have released her if she wasn't ok..."

"I know, I know. I'm just a little...I don't know...worried. She had a slight fever this morning, thought she was getting a cold and now she's not picking up the phone." Arizona took a deep breath.

"Whao...panic much? Look, I've got a few minutes spare. I'll just update Dr Altman on the status of our heart and then I'll run across the street, kick your girlfriend's butt for ignoring her phone...did you try paging her? That's usually the only thing that wakes her up."

"I know but I wanted her to get some rest...wow, I sound super-confused, right?" Arizona grinned weakly.

"Well...I didn't like to say, you being an attending and all." Cristina agreed helpfully.

"You know what, Cristina don't worry about it. I'm probably just over-reacting. She's due to see Derek at 13:00, I'll catch her after my surgery." Arizona flexed her shoulders to relieve the tension that had built up. She was being silly and there was no need to drag anyone else into her paranoia. Callie was fine. She was running a slight temperature and had a bit of a cold. These were not life threatening events and she had a responsibility to her patients.

Callie was fine and probably had her phone stashed at the bottom of her hand bag or on silent.

She was worrying over nothing.

* * *

Callie wasn't how long she was passed out on the bathroom floor, but the pain hadn't diminished. She opened her eyes and squeezed them shut as the agony screamed through her head.

She needed to call Arizona.

But she was so tired. The pain seemed to push its ugly way through every pore in her being and it took all the energy she had to stop the agony from tearing her apart.

Callie realised that she was laying face down on the floor and that there was a trail of vomit coming from her mouth. She could feel that she also had a nose bleed and tried to put the symptoms together but couldn't make her brain work.

Callie lay her head back down , her cheek pressed against the cold bathroom floor.

She knew that it was important to stay conscious but she was so tired. She just wanted to sleep just for a little while, just until the pneumatic drill stopped playing with the wrecking ball in her head.

The sound of her phone jolted her and the pain jolted right along with her.

Arizona was calling.

Callie dragged herself to her hands and knees and shuffled a few feet forward before Pain decided to stop toying with Callie and show that she was mistress of all.

Callie collapsed in a heap.

.

Arizona was scrubbing in for her splenctomy. This was a relatively straight forward procedure and shouldn't take her more than 45 minutes from start to finish.

Her eyes were glued to the large clock in the OR.

It was noon.

She had sent a text message letting Callie know that she wasn't able to make lunch but hadn't received a reply.

There was something wrong.

"...Dr Robbins..."

Arizona turned to Karev who was scrubbing in with her. He had spoken but she hadn't heard a word he said.

"I'm sorry, Karev, you were saying?"

Alex looked at the woman he secretly considered his second mentor; after Bailey, he had leant the most from this annoyingly upbeat but surprisingly fierce paediatrics surgeon.

He considered for a second. He had been asking a question about the procedure but was stumped by the look on her face.

"Are you ok?" He rolled his eyes as he asked the question. He had more than enough problems of his own, he really didn't need to ask her about hers.

"Ummm..." Arizona's eyes had gone back to the clock and her hands slowed.

There was something wrong with Callie.

Arizona knew it.

Her hands stopped scrubbing.

Even if she was wrong and Callie had simply lost her phone, Arizona knew that she would be doing her patient a disservice right now. She simply couldn't think about anything until she had spoken to Callie.

Her hands stopped completely.

She didn't care if she was being ridiculous.

Hands and arms still dripping with suds, she turned to Karev.

"Page McNulty and get him to take over from me. I've got to go."

"Go where? ...dude...?" Alex called out as she fled the room.

* * *

"Dr Robbins...what on earth ...is going on?" Richard Webber realised that he was talking to himself as Arizona Robbins ran, full pelt, passed him.

Perhaps there was a trauma coming in, but he hadn't heard anything. Frowning, he watched the woman's rapid progress down the hall and through the double doors that would take out of the building via the staff entrance.

Webber shook his head and walked back to his office, he'd always pegged Robbins as one of the more sensible of his senior staff and he wasn't often wrong about people.

Seeing Bailey walk past, he motioned to her.

"Bailey, do me a favour and find out what's going on with Robbins."

"Sir?" Bailey drawled the word out. She didn't have time for some foolish wild goose chase.

"Robbins just ran passed me like there was a fire, all the way out the staff entrance. Now, I didn't hear of any trauma coming in, did you?"

"No, but..."

"Right, neither did I. There must be something going on, it's not like Robbins to be so flighty."

"Sir, this is the woman who wears roller skates on the wards." Bailey tried not to roll her eyes at her boss, but she was busy.

Webber shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Hmm. You're right. Maybe it's nothing." He nodded at Bailey, dismissing her.

"You carry on."

"Thank you Sir, I'll do that."

Through years of practice, Richard Webber had learnt to become immune to Bailey's sarcasm and merely smiled absently and wandered back to his budget reports.

Bailey blinked hard in exasperation and carried on down the hall, her eyes already reviewing the chart in her hands.

Her feet slowed and stopped.

Callie had been hurt over the weekend and hadn't been cleared for full duties and she hadn't been at work all day. For all her smiley, happy demeanour and her roller skating ways, Arizona Robbins _wasn't _flighty.

Breaking into a run, Miranda made her way out of the building and just caught sight of Robbins entering the building that Callie shared with Yang.

"Aww hell, no." Bailey muttered as she followed.

.

Arizona ran as fast as she could, single-minded on reaching Callie as quickly as possible.

She dodged a car, ignoring the furious blare of the driver's horn and reached the other side of the street.

She entered the foyer and urgently called for either of the elevators, knowing that it would take far too long if she took the stairs.

The doors opened and she entered, her mind whirling with a hundred and one random thoughts; she couldn't conceive of what she might find once she reached the apartment and so her brain conjured up images that made little sense to her.

Callie had once told her that a spare key was kept hidden in a potted plant on the window sill of the corridor and Arizona quickly sought out the key.

Her hands were shaking and she dropped the key once, twice. Fumbling, her hands were damp and slippery with sweat it took an eon for Arizona to push the key into the lock and open the front door.

"Callie?" Her voice trembled with the fear of what she might find.

"Callie, sweetheart..." Arizona ran straight through to the bed room and stood at the door, looking in at the rumpled bed.

She swung round and headed for the bathroom.

The image that her brain had tried to protect her from, imprinted itself on her consciousness forever as she took in the sight of Callie collapsed on the floor.

"Oh, please baby, no..."

Arizona dropped to her knees and for a moment forgot protocol and rolled Callie over to her back, pressed her fingers to her throat, checking for a heat beat.

"Please, please, please ..."

She felt the flutter of a pulse under her fingers and sagged, slightly.

The déjà vu was sickening and familiar.

"Calliope, wake up, honey, you've got to wake up for me..."Arizona pleaded, rapidly rubbing her knuckles along Callie's sternum, hoping that the painful stimuli would rouse her as it had done before.

This time there was no response and Arizona leaned close and raised one of Callie's eyelids.

Her hand shook as she raised the other and in a distracted part of her mind, Arizona wanted to make sure that she didn't poke Callie in the eye.

Both pupils were blown and Arizona knew that no amount of painful stimuli was going to wake Callie up now.

Sinking back on her heels she looked up as Bailey dashed into the room and sobbed quietly,

"Miranda ...please, please help us."

* * *

Derek shone his light into Callie's eyes and agreed with Arizona's initial assessment.

"She has increased ICP, but I can't detect what's causing it. Did she fall, hit her head, anything?"

Derek and Hunt were working on Callie 10 minutes after Bailey raised the alarm. Arizona had insisted on coming into the treatment room and was standing a few yards away from the gurney, her back up against the wall, trying hard not to scream out loud.

She shook her head, unable to speak.

"We found her collapsed on the floor, evidence of vomiting and a nose bleed." Bailey provided the little information she had as she drew blood. She knew she didn't to be in trauma room; Hunt and Shepherd were more than competent and they had Lexie Grey and Jackson Avery assisting but Callie was her friend, damn it and she'd do the blood work herself if it meant she could help.

"The ICP is increasing, I'm going to do a shunt, there might be a subdural haematoma causing it." Derek's face was grim as he shot a look at Arizona. "We don't have time to do a CT right now, you understand, Arizona?"

Her face was devoid of all colour and he guessed that it was will power alone that was keeping her upright, but she nodded, just once, her red-rimmed eyes fixed on Callie's face.

A nurse quickly shaved a small portion of Callie's hair, right down to the scalp, just behind her left ear and Hunt flexed the drill, preparing to make a small hole in her skull. Without looking at Arizona, Hunt confirmed that Derek was ready and pressed the drill up against Callie's head.

Arizona's breath caught at the sound and sight of the drill ripping into bone and felt her legs begin to give way at the gush of blood that came pouring through the small hole. There was the slight stench of singed hair hanging in the air and Arizona tried not to gag.

"Please don't hurt her..." she said the words reflectively, half aware of how stupid they sounded, coming from a surgeon.

"Arizona, you don't need to be here for this, we have to go." Bailey was at her side and for a small woman, was really quite strong. Arizona didn't want to leave, but could barely watch as the shunt was placed into Callie's skull to siphon away the fluid causing the increased pressure on her brain.

Utterly unable to speak, Arizona allowed Bailey to manoeuvre her out of the trauma room, her eyes glued to Callie's still, lifeless face.

Realising that she had been lowered to the floor, Arizona dropped her head into her hands, unable to comprehend what was happening.

She never should have left Callie that morning. She should have stayed with her. Arizona closed her hands into fists and began to pound at her thighs, anything to relieve the unbearably burden of guilt that coursed through her. She allowed Callie to stay up all night making love to her instead of resting. What the FUCK was wrong with her? How could she have been so selfish?

Bailey crouched down beside her and caught hold her wrists and held them tight.

"Arizona, stop it. Stop it now."

"This is my fault..." Arizona burst out, her eyes streaming.

"Unless you knocked her upside the head with a shovel, this is _not _your fault. And right now Callie is going to need you to be strong for her, so cry if you must but you _will _hold it together. Understand?" Bailey pinned her with a hard stare, daring Arizona to defy her.

The blonde gulped a breath and nodded her head, calming down from the sick, wild panic that had raced through her.

She scrambled to her feet as Derek came out holding a sheaf of test results. He was followed by Hunt and Jackson wheeling Callie quickly away. Arizona wanted to follow them, needing to be close to Callie but Derek held on to her arm, forcing her to stay with him.

"Ok, so the ICP is reducing but not by much, not as much as I would like. Callie's still unconscious but her pupils are now reactive." Arizona sagged again and was glad of Bailey's bulk that kept her on her feet.

"There's no longer an immediate danger of the brain herniating but I'm taking her up for a CT to locate the source of the ICP, I may need to perform a craniotomy depending on what the scans, show, ok?

Arizona nodded. These were words that she understood. This was medicine, this was what she was trained for and she understood. Things were bad, they were very bad. But they weren't desperate.

Derek avoided looking into Arizona's face for a moment but Bailey caught his hesitation and closed her eyes briefly. There was a diagnosis playing around in his head, but he wouldn't mention it until he was sure. There was no point putting Arizona, half the surgical team through hell unless he was sure beyond a shadow of a doubt. But he also had other concerns about Callie.

"The thing is Arizona, her blood work doesn't add up, she's running a temperature of 105 and it looks like her lungs are congested..." Derek looked up from the tests, searching Arizona's face.

"Do you have any idea where she could have picked an infection? This didn't show up on Saturday."

"This...this morning, she said that she felt she was coming down with a cold. She'd been sneezing a bit. Her temp wasn't more than about 98 but she was breathing fine." Arizona took a deep breath so that the words could come out of her tight throat. "She was going to mention it to you during her exam."

Instinctively, they both looked at the large clock on the wall of the trauma room.

It was 13:00.

In 60 minutes Arizona's world had fallen to pieces.

"She'd been sneezing? Hard?" Derek knew it didn't matter whether she sneezed hard or gently, if he was right, it meant that Callie's brain was undergoing catastrophic and potentially fatal changes, even as she was being wheeled to radiology.

"Come with me."

Derek motioned for Arizona to follow him as he jogged along the corridors up to radiology. He wasn't certain that they'd have time for a CT scan and needed as much information as he could get before he made a decision on the next course of action. Arizona followed at a run, she wasn't aware of her colleagues and friends milling about, anxious and wanting to help.

As they got into the elevator along with Lexie and Bailey, Derek pressed Arizona.

"Arizona, I need you to think, Callie didn't catch the stomach bug but what could she have been exposed to, where has she been?"

"Nothing. Nowhere." Arizona's fingers flexed uselessly at her sides and she felt peptic acid churning in her stomach, trying to force its way up her throat.

_Think, Arizona, Think._

"She started sneezing for the first time at the furniture shop but she thought that it was packing dust."

"Packing dust?"

"The pieces were hand carved in Malaysia and then shipped here. We...we opened the draws and poked about. And then she sneezed, loudly...it was a powerful sneeze and she tripped."

Arizona ran her hands through her hair.

"Cold-like symptoms, slightly elevated temperature, there was wheezing a few nights ago...could this be a mold?"

Derek screwed up his eyes at Arizona's diagnosis. He wasn't an expert on infectious diseases and he'd probably need a pulmonologist consult but it was as good a place as any to start.

"You know, her symptoms do fit an airborne fungal infection. There a small airborne mold found in south eastern Asia; rapid inflammation of the lungs and trachea, early stages are characterised by flu like symptoms, sneezing, aches and pains, elevated temperature." Lexie reeled off a list of symptoms and then looked at the chart.

"It could be a blastomycosis, added quietly."

"A blastomycosis, on top of the raised ICP? You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Arizona looked down at Bailey and felt her blood run cold. Bailey didn't use expletives, ever.

The fact that she was so shocked by the dual diagnosis brought it slamming home how bad things were.

"Why wasn't I affected by the same mold, I was there, I looked in the draws as well"

Derek clenched his jaw.

"Callie drew the short straw, Arizona. It's as simple and as random as that."

* * *

Avery leaned over to Derek and whispered quietly.

Arizona understood fully why family were never allowed access to certain areas of the hospital.

She stood just outside the room and looked at the scans as they came through. She could see too much, hear too much, understand everything.

She wanted to scream.

Derek took a quick look and then consulted with Webber who had joined them.

"Arizona, I need you be very focused right now, ok? The raised ICP is getting worse and the shunt is not coping with the volume of blood rushing to the brain ..."

"She has SIS, hasn't she?" Arizona understood the magnitude of the diagnosis and pinched herself as hard as she could; hoping to wake up.

"It's developing that way, yes. We have 2 options; I can do a craniotomy, try and manage the blood flow or we came put her into a chemically induced coma and deal with blood flow medically."

Arizona was nodding; there was part of her, the eminent surgeon, the medic, who was fully engaged with the diagnosis and the treatment plan. This woman agreed that there was a proportionally greater survival rate by taking this course of action. But she also knew that SIS, Second-impact Syndrome had a 50% mortality rate and cruel morbidity rate.

And there was the other part of her, the lover who stood bereft and frozen and watched as Calliope Iphigenia Torres, the one person in the whole world that she wanted to spend her days with, the person she wanted to spend her life with, was rushed away.

There was no time for goodbyes, no time to make promises or ask for forgiveness.

There was no time for anything.

Arizona bit her lip until the blood flowed.

Inside she was dying.

_**TBC**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together.**_

_Rated: M for language and mature themes._

_They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that.__This is almost exclusive Callie and Arizona, the other GA characters do pop up from time to time but please don't count on a fully fledged GA episode__here__._

_If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly._

_Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have __**zero medical knowledge**__. Enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc. _

****

Sincere apologies for the delay. Real life got in the way and I did that stupid thing of writing some the later chapters before this one. I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for the feedback.

* * *

**9**

Richard Webber came up to Arizona and placed his hand on her shoulder.

To the outside world, he presented his calm authoritarian game face, the one he always wore, but inside he was reeling. How many of his talented staff would he lose to death or disease?

"Arizona, I know this is difficult for you but there are some decisions that need to be made right away, alright?"

He gently led her away from the corridor as he spoke, his eyes searching her face, assessing how much more she was able to withstand.

She was very pale and there was a trickle of blood running from her swollen lower lip.

"We've checked Torres's personal file and she has named you as executor in her advanced directive, I'm assuming that you were aware of this?"

Arizona blinked hard and nodded. She tried to smile as she accepted his folded and starched handkerchief, dabbing at her bruised lip.

"OK, good. You need to make a decision on whether you want to defer to Shepherd's treatment plan of performing the craniotomy or whether you want a medical intervention." Richard paused for moment, he knew that they were preparing Torres for surgery and instinctively knew that most surgeons would always opt to cut first and ask questions later. Not that Shepherd was ever cavalier about the impact surgery would have on his patients but he was likely to press the surgical angle because it was what he knew best.

But Arizona might have a different take and it was her right and duty to consider all the options.

Arizona turned to look at the chief, her eyes barely taking in his concerned face.

The image of Callie collapsed on their bathroom floor crashed through her mind, over and over again.

But Webber's words penetrated the cloud that had descended on her and spoke to her surgical brain.

"Has SIS been confirmed?"

_How is it possible that my voice can sound so clear, so strong? How is it that I can ask such a question?_

Webber shook his head, "We both know a confirmed diagnosis of Second Impact Syndrome is unlikely ... before ...at this stage." Webber didn't need to add that SIS was usually only confirmed at the post-mortem stage.

"But there are strong indications pointing to it, aren't there?"

Derek appeared at the doorway of the consulting room and caught the end of the statement. He was holding a sheaf of forms, waiting for Arizona's consent.

"Yes. Yes, we know we're now dealing with a traumatic brain injury. The probability that it was caused by a second concussion is high. " He was anxious to get to the OR but Arizona needed to give him the mandate.

But she was shaking her head.

"Her brain can't regulate the blood flow right now, performing a craniotomy will only exacerbate the blood loss, surgery might even induce hypovolemia ."

Arizona stood up and shook her head again, decisively. Her eyes were clear and focused as she looked at her colleagues.

Callie's hair had been spread over the floor and had covered her face. One of her arms was stretched out as if she was reaching for something.

_Why wasn't I there for you, baby?_

Even as the images crowded her brain, Arizona made the decision quickly, as competently as she knew how. She was acutely, sickeningly aware that this was outside her field of expertise but Arizona trusted her instincts.

"Put her into a coma now. It will give her brain time to heal, the ICP will reduce and ..."

"Arizona, I feel certain that we can manage the bleeding and the elevated ICP by surgery ..." Derek was frustrated by her choice, every minute that he was not operating on Callie, was time was being lost; time that Callie could ill afford.

"Derek, if it's SIS, Callie has almost no chance and we both know this. Operating will not help her, not even a little bit. A coma gives her a chance."

"Arizona..." Derek didn't share Arizona's conviction.

Arizona turned to face him, her blues eyes resembling nothing more than chips of blue ice.

"She doesn't have time for this, Derek. I've made my decision, I need you to carry it out now, or I'll find someone who will."

Exchanging a quick look with Webber, Derek nodded once and left the room.

"They'll take her to the ICU in a few minutes; once the pentobarbital has been administered we can keep a constant monitor on how the ICP is reducing." Webber was talking for the sake of keeping Arizona's attention focused. She understood the procedure as well as he did but his words would serve to distract her from the horrifying enormity of what was happening to her partner. At least he hoped they would. She was standing very still; her eyes were clouded and fixed on a point over his shoulder.

He scrabbled about in his head to remember who she tended to have lunch with, when she wasn't with Torres; right now she needed a friend to hold her hand and to cry with. As sympathetic as he was, he knew Arizona wouldn't be comfortable sharing her grief with him. And right now, she needed comfort.

Arizona rubbed her forehead hard, trying to relieve the pressure behind her eyes. She closed them for a moment.

She had still been in her shortie pyjamas and the top had ridden up a little, exposing Callie's back. Had she been cold, lying there, alone and hurt?

Arizona snapped her eyes open at the image and ground her teeth.

She needed to do something.

She needed to call Callie's parents and wondered how she would be able to say the words without breaking down.

.

Arizona slowly punched the numbers into her phone and checked to make sure that she had dialled correctly. Her hands were shaking so much that she had misdialled the first time round and had got a wrong number.

It was 16:15 in Miami and she knew that Carlos Torres would be at his desk of his conglomerate construction and financial empire or he'd be out on one of his sites, still plying his original trade as an architect.

As Arizona listened to the ringing, she wondered what words she could use.

How do you tell a man that his beloved daughter was in critical condition? A bubble of laughter rose up her throat at the thought. She would give anything if Callie was in critical condition.

The stark truth was that Callie was close to death.

Arizona had avoided the thought over the last 90 minutes and had filled her mind with stats and percentages; anything to remove from the awful, unavoidable reality that Callie might never wake up from the coma.

The fungal infection in her lungs could spread to other parts of her body, causing even more damage to the fragile body. The blood that was rushing to her brain might not stop and her intracranial pressure might rise to a catastrophic level, herniation might occur, causing irrevocable brain damage or death.

The phone dropped from Arizona's numb fingers and she felt her legs give way as the enormity of what Callie was facing really dawned on her.

Richard Webber caught her and gently led her to an armchair, watching her pale face contort, just once with indescribable sorrow.

"Chief, my Callie, my darling girl…. she could die." Her words were broken and soft, almost a whisper of sound that echoed through the hallways and up to the ceiling.

He nodded, just once but said not a word. There really wasn't a single thing to say.

Richard bent over and picked up the discarded mobile phone, holding it in his hands.

"Would you like me to make the call?" He offered, knowing how harrowing it would be for her.

Arizona blinked and realised that she still hadn't spoken to Carlos.

Shaking the lethargy and pain off, Arizona got to her feet and accepted the phone back.

"I have to do this myself." Her voice had regained some measure of strength and she redialled the number.

This time the phone was answered on the first ring and all the pain and fear and sorrow came rushing back as she heard his strong confident voice at the other end.

Arizona took a step backwards and collapsed in the chair behind her.

"Carlos….. this is Arizona…it's …. It's Callie….." She leaned forward and covered her eyes with one hand as she spoke. All of the distress and anxiety that she empathised with as parents worried about their sick children came flooding back as she heard Carlos's voice falter. Right now, like all those times when she held a parent and consoled them, she had to do the same thing with Callie's dad.

"She's very sick, Carlos. You…. you need to prepare yourself and you and Marguerite and Aria need to come as soon as you possibly can."

The full weight and severity of Arizona's words seemed to sink into Carlos and his tone grew heavy with sorrow.

Arizona closed her eyes and shut out the world.

"She's developed a ….. a devastating brain injury and has a lung infection …. We... I opted against surgery and I elected for Callie to be placed in a coma. The next few days ...will determine everything. Carlos, I'm so very, very sorry."

Arizona knew that there was no other way to say the words that were coming next. She owed it to Callie, but also to her family and so, she took a faltering breath and said.

"You may want to bring Father Kevin with you."

.

"What the hell happened?" Cristina ran to the trauma room where Callie had been treated and grabbed hold of Meredith's arm. "One of those idiot interns said that Callie had been brought in ..."

She stopped and looked round, a cold ghost of at memory sending a shiver down her spine. The staff all had expressions of fear and sorrow and she remembered the day that George died. She remembered seeing Derek Shepherd get shot.

A few residents and interns were still milling about, shocked at the events of the last 20 minutes. They were all used to the despair and misery that accompanied many patients to the ER and their training taught them how to be detached, how to stay aloof and not allow the pain of dismemberment, disability or death affect their judgement. But when it was one of their own, a part of their extended family it was almost impossible to emotions at bay.

"Mer, please tell me what going on." Cristina pleaded, her hands suddenly shaking.

Meredith shook her head and swallowed.

"Derek took her up about 10minutes ago. She had increased ICP; I think he was going to do a craniotomy, he was really concerned about herniation."

"For Callie...Callie?" Cristina felt her stomach sink as she recalled her discussion with Arizona a few hours previous. She leaned against the counter and put her head in her hands.

"Shit, Arizona wanted me to go home to check on her, earlier... and then she changed her mind, she thought she was over-reacting."

The women looked at each other silently; they both knew that, with any type of brain injury, time was of the absolute essence. If Arizona had trusted her instincts, Callie's brain injury might have been caught earlier.

"Which OR are they taking her to?"

Meredith turned to respond but noticed Bailey coming up.

"What's happened?"

Bailey shot her a look and then surveyed the lobby. Everyone looked at her. Expectant.

It was against protocol to release information to anyone other than immediate family. But this was part of Callie's family and Bailey knew what she had to do.

"Callie Torres is in critical condition in the ICU. She is being treated for a suspected SIS and a possible fungal infection in her lungs." She waited for a second for the gasps of shock to die down.

"Now, I know you're all concerned but this is a hospital and we all have patients to attend to. The minute there's news, I'm sure someone will let you know." She looked round at the nurses, support staff and doctors and felt the sadness radiate from them adding to her fears for her friend.

"Let's go, now." She spoke with compassion but was firm, looking around for dissent. There was none and the crowd that had gathered for the update quickly went back to work.

"Dr Bailey..." Meredith and Cristina approached the attending as she bent over the computer at the nurse's station.

"I don't have any more news, Dr Grey." She pre-empted Meredith's question, punching the keyboard briskly.

"Second Impact Syndrome? Do you know what the mortality rate for that is?" Cristina was incredulous.

Bailey finally looked up from the PC and they could see the sorrow etched on her face and the sheen of distress in her eyes.

But she was Bailey and would always rise to whatever challenge was thrown at her.

"Yes, Dr Yang I am aware of the mortality rates for SIS, which is why I shall be going to the chapel to say a prayer for Callie and Arizona, right after I finish looking up the latest journals on TBI and rehabilitation."

She punched a few more keys and pursed her lips, grim determination chasing away the sorrow. She would do all she could do and then some.

"All we can really do right now is hope and pray."

.

Meredith led Arizona to the ICU where Callie had been moved to. The rooms were large and airy and there was a concerted but hushed buzz of urgency as teams of doctors and nurses worked to save the lives of all the inhabitants.

Callie was in a private room and as they reached the open door, Meredith paused and placed her hand on Arizona's arm.

"I'm so sorry, Arizona." The sympathy was real but there was a hesitation and Arizona, hyper-sensitive to everything and everyone, right now, caught it.

"What is it? Has something else happened?" Her voice was strained and she tried to reach pass the junior resident to the room. She could see the foot of the bed. A white blanket covered Callie's feet.

"Arizona, please... Derek thought that he was going to do a craniotomy, he...he asked the nurses to prep Callie for the OR." Meredith took a breath, wondering if Arizona would even care at this point.

Arizona nodded just once, her eyes fixed on the bed.

"Thank you. May I enter?"

"Of course," Meredith murmured and stood aside, watching as Arizona paused, straightened her shoulders and walked into the room.

The bed was in the centre of the room, surrounded by monitors and machines and, almost incongruously, bathed in brilliant sunlight from the large window behind the bed.

There was a team of doctors and nurses still working on her, adjusting her drip, administering antibiotics for the infection, ensuring that the catheter was properly placed; and that she was receiving enough oxygen; a dozen and a half little tasks that kept Callie alive. She had all manner of wires, tubes electrodes and monitors attached to her head, her chest, arms, almost every part of her body was attached to a machine.

Callie was lying on her back, the back of the bed slightly elevated and her head was partly covered by white bandages, stark against her pale olive skin. The tube from the shunt was clearly visible and Arizona understood Meredith's warning.

Callie's beautiful black hair had been shorn.

Her long dark eyelashes created a shadow on her cheeks and she almost looked like she was sleeping, her lips were faintly curved, they way they did when she was asleep, as if smiling at a private joke.

Arizona slowly raised her hand to her mouth the hold back the gasp of shock.

She was a doctor. She absolutely knew what to expect.

And yet, seeing Callie; her exuberant, physical, humorous Callie, lying, still, deeply comatose was a sight that was almost impossible for her to deal with. It was an image that made no sense. How could this be real?

Derek looked up at Arizona as she entered the room but gave her a few minutes before approaching her. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to get her attention, her eyes still trained on the immobile face of her lover.

"We administered the pentobarbital almost immediately and she's deep under right now. We're still hyperventilating her and monitoring the ICP." They both looked at the EEG which was registering the electrical activity in her brain.

The lab results aren't back yet but I consulted Riverton and he's agreed that we start her on the amphotericin B immediately. He'll check on her in a few hours to assess and monitor the effects of the anti-fungal medication. There are some severe side effects so we're going monitor her symptoms very closely and reduce the dosage if necessary."

Arizona nodded. Riverton was a solid pulmonologist and she had consulted with him on a number of occasions.

"Is it my imagination or can I hear Callie wheezing?"

Derek looked at Arizona and she could feel his sympathy, it radiated in waves and Arizona wished she could draw comfort from him, but the only person who could truly comfort her was Callie.

"The infection has taken a hold in her lungs, they're congested and inflamed. The drugs are aggressive and we're ...hopeful that the inflection will remain localised."

Arizona said the word out loud, just to be sure that she wasn't in the grip of a dreadful nightmare.

"Localised?"

"Blastomycosis can spread to any organ, it can infect any tissue."

She swallowed hard once and nodded. Her eyes took on a brightness and Derek thought she might cry but she didn't. Instead she straightened her spine and stuck her chin out.

Arizona looked ready for a fight.

"I guess now, all we do is wait, huh?"

Derek nodded. His eyes took in the time, it was 13:30.

"The next 12 hours are crucial, if...if Callie can get through the next 12 hours, she has a shot. He squeezed her shoulder again and walked away.

Arizona walked over to the side of the bed and looked down into Callie's face. Her bruise was now a lurid purple, blue and yellow and marred to symmetrical beauty of the Latina's face.

She leaned down and pressed her lips to Callie's. They were mildly warm but the obvious lack of response was frightening and Arizona pulled away and stroked her beloved's face gently.

She pulled up a chair and sat down, picking up Callie's right hand, it was her cutting hand and was free of tubes and drips. Arizona linked their fingers and stroked the back of Callie's hand against her cheek.

"Calliope, it's me honey. I'm right here; I'm going to be right here."

.

Teddy didn't say very much.

At a time like this, there wasn't very much to say.

Teddy had lost friends in the combat zone, attended funeral s and shook the hand of the loved ones left behind. There were no words in the human language that could adequately express the sorrow that she felt and so she no longer tried.

As a doctor, she knew that Callie's chances were slim and even though Arizona was, quite literally, living in hope, Teddy felt the weight of her friend's pain keenly. She was also doubtful that Callie would make through the night. But she was Arizona's friend and the very least she could do was offer her support at a time when she needed it the most.

Teddy brought Arizona a jacket to wear over her scrub top and simply sat with her silently for an hour before going off to surgery again, giving her a swift hug before leaving.

.

"Realistically, what are we thinking?"

Derek looked up from a scan he was reviewing.

He shrugged, not happy with the prognosis.

"Right now, I'd give her 15% at a stretch. If she can make it past the 6 hour mark with no regression, I'd bump it up to 20%...

"12 hours? What if she makes it past the 12 hour point?" Meredith pressed.

Derek put down the scanned at looked up at his wife, he understood her need to have something to hold on to, he shared it but he needed to be realistic. Arizona hadn't taken his course of action and he sincerely hoped that Callie didn't pay the price for her decision.

"Her ICP needs to get back to normal, the fluid on the brain needs to reduce significantly, and this has to happen soon to ensure that the brain doesn't suffer permanent damage." He stood up and massaged her shoulders as they slumped at his words.

"And if that isn't bad enough, the infection in her lungs could spread. Right now Rivington is making sure that there are no cross indications with the drugs we're pumping into her."

How's Arizona doing?"

Derek shrugged again. He liked the blonde paediatric surgeon, she was an accomplished and well-respected... well-liked surgeon and she was supportive of her colleagues and fun to be around. He liked her a lot.

"She seems to have shut down a little. She cried a little when she first brought Callie in but has been pretty stoical since then."

"She needs someone to be with her...Do you know where Dr Altman is?"

"Back in the OR, I think."

He ran his hands through his hair, he'd asked to be paged if there were any changes in Callie's condition, but he had a few minutes and decided to go check on her.

"Richard said that she's spoken to Callie's parents; they're on their way."

Meredith chewed her lip.

"How about Arizona's parents?"

Derek shook his head, not understanding.

"Has anyone told Arizona's parents that their daughter needs them?

.

Mark Sloan stood just outside Callie's room and looked in.

Arizona was sitting ramrod straight beside Callie's bed, holding her hand. He thought that she might be talking to her but wasn't sure.

He had spoken to Shepherd and was trying to take it in. Somehow, he couldn't credit how serious the situation was.

Chicken pox and broken noses aside, Callie was always as healthy as a horse, even the knock to her head hadn't kept her down and now Derek had told him that she had a traumatic brain injury and might not survive.

It didn't make any sense and Mark didn't have the first clue what to do or say. So he hovered at the door and watched Arizona; she was talking quietly to Callie. He tried to avoid looking at her but inevitably, his gaze finally settled on the bed and its occupant.

The sight felt like a mule kick to the stomach.

Callie was his buddy. She was his friend in a way no woman had ever been his friend before and though he sometimes liked to tease them about his sexual history with Callie, her steadfast, no bullshit camaraderie was something he valued every bit as much as he did his 30 plus years of history with Derek Shepherd.

This, right here, was just not right.

Mark walked into the room and caught some of the whispered words.

"...for some reason they sound so English and proper but Imogen and Imelda could be options...and I've always loved Paloma and Ariela. I really would like them to have at least one Spanish name and of course they'll be bilingual... I really need to start Spanish lessons, don't I? The kids will run circles round me if I don't know what they're up to, right? Boy's names might be a little tricky, I've ..."

Mark cleared his throat, almost unmanned by the one-sided conversation. He looked into Arizona's face as she looked up at him and tried to smile, her eyes not meeting his.

"Jesus, Arizona, how can you stand it?" He blurted out, unthinking.

Arizona turned back to Callie, rubbing the hand she held lightly.

There was no way she could answer his question, so she didn't try. People came and went, offering support and commiseration and Arizona had nothing to say to anyone. Her entire focus was on Callie. Arizona had no clear idea of how she was holding it together; the only thing she held onto was Bailey reminding her that she needed to be strong for Callie.

And that's what she was doing.

Being as strong as she knew how.

Reminding Callie of all the things that she had waiting in her future.

All the things that they had shared and all the plans they had made.

The time was 17:45 and there had been only a marginal improvement in her EEG readings.

"Thank you for coming, Mark." Her gaze had returned to Callie's face and Mark wondered if she had left her side at all in the hours since Callie had been brought in.

"Do you want to take a break, Arizona, get some food? I'll stay with her..."

Arizona was shaking her head.

"I'm fine." She offered him a genuine but weak smile. "Thank you, Mark...I can't leave her...not right now...I just can't."

"It's ok. I understand," Mark soothed, not wanting to distract or upset Arizona. He stood by her for a second, unsure if he should stay and Arizona spoke up.

"Stay awhile, Mark. Keep us company?"

Relieved, Mark pulled up a chair and Arizona resumed her conversation with Callie.

"So, boy's names, huh? Perhaps Mark can give us some pointers on what to avoid."

Mark cleared his thought and looked at his friend.

She was his friend, his buddy and even if it killed him, he was going to treat her like he always did.

"Well, you want something brisk and manly, like Mark, for example ..."

.

It was 19:30 and Arizona was looking through the notes made by Callie's nurse. Her ICP had fallen slightly and the EEG results were encouraging. But Callie's temperature was rising rather than falling though her wheezing was getting better. It seemed that the anti-fungal medication was working on the infection but the side effects were becoming detrimental. The fever could begin to upset the delicate balance of blood flow to the brain.

Someone approached the door and without looking up Arizona made a request.

"Page Dr Rivington for me, please. I think we need to review the dosage on her amphotericin B. She's becoming symptomatic."

Arizona looked up as she realised that it wasn't a nurse or a doctor hovering.

Professor Marguerite Torres stood at the doorway both hands pressed tightly against her mouth, horror etched on her face as she stared at her older child.

Arizona jumped out of her chair and hurried over to her.

They had never met personally but as Arizona stared at Marguerite, she realised again where Callie got her beautifully expressive eyes from.

She touched to woman, gently on her shoulder and spoke gently.

"Marguerite, it's me, Arizona."

The woman gasped quietly and turned to Arizona and without a word pulled her into a tight hug. The lump in Arizona's throat solidified and the ache of tears that would not fall grew unbearable. But she wrapped her arms around Callie's mother and rocked the older woman as she sobbed on Arizona's shoulder.

Arizona had spoken to Marguerite and Aria on numerous occasions over the last few months and they had a far more relaxed relationship to the one she had with Carlos, who tended to be a little more formal with her. Arizona had always thought that she would be intimidated by Callie's academic mother but the Dean of Literature at Florida University was a down to earth woman with a sense of humour and an open heart.

As the woman swallowed her tears and pulled away, Arizona could see Carlos talking to Derek Shepherd, both men approaching the room.

"Where's Aria?"

"She's gone to the chapel first. She didn't want to see me break down and she knew that I would, so she's gone there for a few minutes to prepare herself."

Arizona nodded but made no comment.

The sisters had an interesting dynamic and though Arizona had always thought that Aria was a little too self-involved, the 30 year old loved Callie and despite her silence during the period that Callie had been estranged from the family had treated Arizona with an easy and relaxed manner.

Arizona led a hesitant Marguerite to Callie's bedside and motioned for her to take a seat.

"Talk to her, let her know that you're here and that you love her. You can hold her hand." Arizona watched for a moment before catching the eye of a nurse and repeating her request for a page for Riverton.

Arizona stepped outside Callie's room and approached Carlos and Derek, who were still talking.

"Arizona, my poor child. How are you coping?" Carlos turned to Arizona and enveloped her in an unexpected hug. Arizona blinked at the gesture.

She shook her head in reply. How could she begin to explain or even describe the emotions that had churned through her over the last 6 hours.

"Won't you go in to see her?" Arizona was curious that he had opted to get an update on her progress rather than seeing her first.

He gave a strange fast shake of his head and turned back to Derek.

"So, what you're saying is that the brain injury is as a result of the first concussion Calliope received last week and the lung infection is equally serious but unrelated?"

"The infection started out like a cold and we know that she had been sneezing earlier on. We think that a particularly strong sneeze caused a second concussion, which led to the traumatic brain injury." Arizona explained as simply as she could.

"That's correct, Mr Torres." Derek shot a look at Arizona but carried on speaking.

"Callie is showing some signs of improvement but it really still is early days yet. We have an excellent pulmonologist who is monitoring the chest infection and the drugs are beginning to work but ..."

"It's early days yet." Carlos echoed Derek's earlier words.

"Wasn't there some surgery that you could have done instead of putting her into a coma?"

Derek's jaw tightened at the question but Arizona responded immediately.

"We had very limited options, Carlos. Derek was in favour of performing a procedure called a craniotomy, where he would have removed a small portion of Callie's skull, to release the pressure in her...

Carlos was nodding his head rigorously.

"Yes. Yes, I understand. So why didn't you perform the operation?"

Arizona felt a presence at her side and turned to see a pale and subdued Aria Torres standing beside her. The younger woman slipped her hand into Arizona's and gripping it tightly, offered a tearful smile but said nothing.

"I instructed Derek to take the less invasive, more measured approach. The condition that we think Callie has, has meant that the blood flow to her brain can't be regulated. Surgery would not have helped her. I think that surgery would have done immeasurably more harm than good."

Derek kept silent. He didn't completely agree with Arizona's diagnosis but she was accurate when she said that their choices had been severely limited. She was the person making the calls and she was a talented surgeon. She was entitled to have a difference of opinion with him.

"I don't understand, what do you mean _the condition that you think she has_? Don't you know what's wrong with my daughter?" Carlos looked from Arizona to Derek and back again, his voice beginning to rise.

"Carlos, all of the symptoms that Callie has point to a condition known as Second Impact Syndrome. It's not very common and is usually found amongst contact sport athletes. The injury to Callie's brain, the second concussion has created a problem with the blood vessels in her brain; they've opened wide and flooded her skull with fluid. " Arizona looked at Callie's father making sure that he understood. She could feel Aria's grip tighten as she spoke.

"The extra fluid has now created an imbalance of fluid in the brain and this is called a cerebral oedema, we're trying to correct that imbalance and I decided ..."

Carlos seemed to lose patience and shook his head angrily.

"OK fine, but why aren't you _doing _something, surely there's an operation that can fix this, this cerebral oedema?"

Arizona took a breath and straightened her shoulders. She knew Carlos could be an impatient and difficult man now dealing with a life threatening injury to his favourite daughter, she knew that she couldn't expect him to be reasonable or calm.

"Carlos, we _are _doing something. I'm sure Derek gave you an update on the purpose of the coma?" She shot a look at Derek, who confirmed with a nod of his head.

She turned to Callie's father. She could tell that he was burying his distress in anger.

"The coma will give her brain time to adjust, to correct the fluid imbalance ... we just have to give it time."

"So, she'll make a full recovery ... when? When will she wake up? When will she be ok?"

Derek shook his head.

Mr Torres, Callie is seriously ill. Right now, with this course of medical intervention, there is some hope, we're hopeful. But her brain injury is traumatic."

Carlos swung away, his eyes blinking rapidly.

"No. No. I don't understand."

He turned back to Arizona, his eyes flashing and she was taken back to the first time she met him, watching as he flung two full grown men up against the wall.

"Explain to me again, why you felt surgery wasn't an option. Why you're just letting her lie there..."

"I opted for the coma because I don't want Callie to die. Not today, not now." Arizona burst out, her voice low and raw. Her eyes were red-rimmed and scratchy but the tears still would not fall. She could feel Aria's other hand hugging her arm.

"She still has a chance. While in the coma, she has a chance." Arizona heaved a shuddering breath and calmed her wildly beating heart. She needed to conserve her energy and she needed to back at Callie's side.

"Derek is a wonderful, talented surgeon but in my opinion, had he operated on Callie earlier, she'd be dead right now. And that's why I thought surgery wasn't an option."

Carlos Torres moved his mouth but words didn't come out.

"You should have consulted me first..."

"There wasn't time for that...," Derek interjected but Aria interrupted, speaking for the first time. Her eyes flashed as passionately as her father's had and, for a heart-stopping moment, Arizona saw the uncanny resemblance the sister's sometimes shared.

"Daddy, no. No. Callie told us that she made Arizona her executor, we all knew this."

"I am her _father_."

"And Arizona is her partner. You know this, Daddy. Arizona's claim to Callie is greater."

Carlos ran both hands over his bald head and squeezed his eyes tightly closed.

Aria released Arizona's hand and went to comfort her father.

"_Callie y Arizona necesitan nuestro amor y el apoyo en este momento, el Papá, no esto. Sé que es trastornado. Todos estamos tristes pero Arizona adora Callie y hará todo hacer su mejor."_

Arizona's eyes went from Carlos's face to Aria's and saw the tension leave his body at her words.

"I'm sorry Arizona, I just can't ..."

"Let's go and see her, shall we?" Arizona held out her hand to him and without looking up, like a child he took her smaller hand and allowed himself to be led into the room that filled him with dread.

.

It was midnight and Arizona was sitting in the chapel on her own, a mobile phone clutched in her hand.

She knew it was pretty much unacceptable to have a phone in the chapel, but it was midnight and there was no one for her to disturb.

Perhaps she should have made this call hours ago but she hadn't really thought about it. In truth, she hadn't thought about much over the last 12 hours other than Callie, her mind empty of almost all thought; her emotions had been carefully stored away, locked up and inaccessible. Earlier, Arizona couldn't afford to allow her emotions to cloud her mind or her judgement, not when things were hanging in the balance.

But now, perhaps, now would be a good time to let her emotions run free.

She leaned forward so that her head rested on the polished wooden pew in front of her, it was cool against her forehead and Arizona realised that she was still wearing her scrub cap. It seemed so long ago since she began her preparation for the splenectomy with Alex Karev. It still seemed incongruous that the events of the last 12 hours weren't the product of a dreadful, sick nightmare.

Arizona looked at the time display on the phone.

It was 00:06 here in Seattle, considering the time difference, her parents would have been in bed for some time now, and a call at this hour would alarm them, but she needed to make the call now.

She hit the speed dial number for her father's phone and blinked as her eyes blurred.

It was picked up on the third ring.

"Arizona. It's late...early, what's wrong?" Her father sounded slightly gruff from sleep but completely alert.

"I'm sorry to call so late, Sir..."

"Child, tell me what's wrong, is it Calliope?" The gruffness was replaced by a gentle tone and Arizona felt a sob rise in her throat at his voice and use of her childhood nickname.

"Daddy...she's...dying. Calliope is dying." Her breath hitched with every word she uttered. "Her brain injury got worse and she has an infection ... I don't know what to do anymore..." Arizona raised her head from the pew and closed her eyes. They were dry and scratchy and she had a blinding headache from the build up of pressure behind her eyes.

"Her family are with her right now with her priest. They're... they're giving her the last rights...I couldn't watch...I can't ..." Arizona didn't know how to use her words, couldn't form coherent sentences. She wanted to find a dark warm space to crawl into, somewhere that would block out all the light and sound and signs of living. Arizona wanted to disappear into that space and never come out.

"We'll get the next flight out..."

"No. No, Daddy not...right now. Not yet." Another sob rose in her throat and she wondered if the dam would burst.

"I'll call you again in the morning...if...if..." Arizona couldn't say it. She could not give full credence to what was happening.

"Carlos will want to take her back to Miami and I can't say no to that. I can't deny them that..." Arizona slumped back, the simple wooden pew the only thing preventing her from crumpling into a heap. All her energy had been sapped by the emotional tsunami that was raging through her.

"Whatever you want, Child, just tell us, you understand?"

She swallowed hard, her father's firm voice bringing her back to the present; she could hear her mother's voice in the background, asking for the phone.

"I love you, Arizona and I'm sorry this is happening to you and Calliope."

"Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir." It was easier for her to revert back to her customary formality with her father than respond to the open love and compassion in his voice.

"Sweetheart, my darling baby girl, what do you want us to do?"

At her mother's gentle loving voice, Arizona dropped her head, her chin resting on her chest and felt the love envelope her, warming her frozen soul, nourishing her.

"Baby, why don't you let us come right away? We can get a flight and be there in a few hours." Mary Robbins' voice was firm and clear, the distress was evident but she was a practical woman who had buried a son. She had some experience of the devastating pain and fear that was wracking her daughter's body right now. All she wanted to do was alleviate some of that pain.

"Mom, if you came, it would make it real...I'm not ready...I just can't deal with that thought, Mom. I can't..." Arizona knew that she was being irrational but she was being honest. She knew there was little hope but she clung to it, that tiny sliver of hope, the way a soul lost in the darkness of purgatory seeks out a pinprick of light and hangs on to it like a pathway to heaven.

Callie was still breathing. Her heart, her good, fierce heart was still beating.

She hadn't let go and neither would Arizona.

Arizona said goodbye to her parents and hung up, loathe to leave the bubble of comfort and love their presence had created but equally unable to handle the overwhelming emotions that their love wrought in her. Her mind went to Danny and, as always when she thought of him, a wave of sorrow ran through her. He had been her staunchest ally, her best friend and she missed him every day.

Arizona closed her eyes.

How would she ever cope if she lost Callie as well?

God, Country, Core.

It had been, it was her father's mantra and though Arizona would never describe herself as religious, she did believe in a Higher Being, something greater than herself and so, she sank to her knees and bowed her head, praying to God not to take Calliope away from her.

.

Derek reviewed Callie's vitals.

If she was going to recover she should have shown marked improvement by now.

She hadn't.

Sick to his stomach, he'd spoken to Arizona and Callie's family and watched, impotent as Arizona's eyes went very dark and blank and Carlos Torres asked for permission to call their priest from the waiting room.

He'd observed Arizona speak briefly to the priest, shake his hand and walk out of the room, her back straight and her eyes clear.

He had tried to offer his sympathies but she had simply said that she was going to the chapel for a while and would be back soon.

It had been more than 12 hours since Callie had been admitted and had she been on life support, had she been some other patient, he would have recommended switching the machines off and letting the patient go, letting them rest in peace.

But this was one of his people, part of his extended family and he had spent every free hour, between rounds and a 3 surgeries thinking of studies and trials that might help in some way.

He had come up empty.

Watching the ritual carried out by the priest, seeing Callie's mother sob quietly and her father and sister watch, distraught as Father Kevin O'Donoghue anointed her forehead with oil and say a prayer, Derek shepherd found that he couldn't just watch and let them say goodbye.

There had to be something else he could do.

.

Arizona sat very still. Her hands were folded neatly in her lap and her head was bowed.

All Derek could see was the top of her head, there was no indication that she had understood or even heard what he had said.

"I realise that I should have paged you first but it was a long shot and I didn't want to raise your hopes unnecessarily..." Derek paused and looked over at Webber who had given his approval for the procedure. Arizona still hadn't said a word.

"Arizona, this is good news...the ICP reduced considerably, her CSF is literally back to normal, we can start to wean her off the barbiturates."

Arizona finally looked up and they could both see the strain etched on her face.

She had been at Callie's side for 12 solid hours, not taking a break or leaving except when she first spoke to Carlos Torres and when the last rites were administered. She was almost grey with fatigue and tension. Derek wasn't entirely sure that the news had even registered.

Derek had decided to put in another shunt to increase the drainage of excess fluid from Callie's skull. Medically, the procedure shouldn't have had any value; it shouldn't have made any difference.

But it had.

The cerebral oedema dissipated almost immediately and the pressure in her brain stabilised within minutes.

There had been no good reason for Derek to have performed the procedure but he had and for reason that escaped him, it had worked.

Arizona blinked up at him, her eyes glassy and distracted.

"I was down in the chapel, talking to my parents...praying, if you can believe it. Begging God not to take Callie away from me and now you tell me that her brain is undamaged and we can bring her out of the coma... just like that? What about the blastomycosis?" Arizona was curiously stilted and Derek realised that she was slightly in shock.

Richard Webber responded, "Rivington is checking her now, the fever levelled out, once we reduced the meds and the wheezing has cleared but she still on 100% O2 for the time being. We won't know if the infection has spread for a while yet, but the lab's running more cultures as we speak."

Derek crouched down beside her and immediately noticed the whiteness of her knuckles, her hands were gripping each other so tightly and he could feel the tremors wracking her body.

"Arizona, you're depleted right now, you need fluids just to replenish your stock, get some rest. Callie is not out of the woods yet but things are a much, much better."

She nodded slowly and stood up. She swayed on her feet and both men rushed forward to support her.

"I need to be with her."

"Arizona ..."

"I know I need to take care of myself, I'll get some rest ...I...I just need to see her for a minute."

Arizona's mind was in a jumble. She could see her hands shaking and for a moment wished that she'd been able to break down and cry, if only for a while. She felt as if she was filled to overflowing with a seething mass of nameless emotions that churned and boiled within her, robbing her of rational thought and feeling. Arizona knew that she would live with the emotion until Callie woke up. There was no other relief or comfort that she wanted.

She turned her mind to Derek's words again.

Callie was getting better.

The words that he had uttered were everything she'd hoped for, barring Callie actually waking up hale and hearty, they were everything she'd prayed for and yet she couldn't take them in. She couldn't treat them as the most precious words ever to be spoken not because she didn't believe them but because she wanted them so badly, she knew that she would be crushed, utterly, if something else went wrong.

So, Arizona held onto her hope and kept her optimism in check. She'd celebrate and be happy when Callie woke up.

Not before.

.

"Seriously?" Cristina questioned

"Seriously." Meredith confirmed.

Cristina had checked in with Arizona during the night and found that Callie had improved and was being brought out of her chemically induced coma.

She had come into work on her day off, expecting to find Callie if not actually awake but at least further down the road of recovery.

But that would have been far too simple.

"So, do we know if the infection spread to her brain or not?"

Meredith was due to go finish her shift but knew that Derek wouldn't leave until he had done everything for Callie, so she was heading to an on-call room for some sleep.

"Derek's just done a biopsy and we're waiting on the lab results. She's had an MRI and CAT scan and they can't tell why she's not waking up."

"Wait, but she'll still have traces of barbiturates in her system, right?" Cristina chewed on her thumb and tried to work out a diagnosis."Maybe that's what's causing the sluggishness."

"She's not sluggish; she's dead to the world. And, yes. They've already considered that the barb coma might be screwing things up a little. But that's not it. Her EEG should be showing more activity. It spiked briefly and now...nothing."

"So, Callie's in a coma, for real this time?"

"Callie's in coma for real."

.

Arizona stood at the foot of Callie's bed and watched her intently; her eyes were fastened to the ventilator as it contracted rhythmically pushing necessary oxygen in her inert lungs.

A nurse came in and after sparing Arizona a brief glance got on with her task of checking her vitals and noting the results down on her chart.

Callie's face was immobile, too still, like a marble sculpture in museum and Arizona shivered at the thought. Somehow this could not be real, this person, sunk in silent repose, could not be Calliope Torres. Not her Callie. Where was her vitality, her lust for life? Where was her laughter, her beautiful smile, her expressive eyes? Where was her passion?

Arizona faintly heard the gentle sound of splashing and looked at her hands in wonder at the tears that had fallen from her eyes, were still falling, silent and steady like an unearthly stream that would never cease to flow.

Arizona turned her attention back to the figure on the bed, the figure that was Callie and yet not her. Had the essence of the woman that she loved left, without her knowing? Arizona looked about the room for a second, distracted, as if she could see Callie's soul seeping away into the dark night.

"Callie, please wake up." She whispered the words softly into the room and screamed them madly in her head.

"You are going to have to let her go. You know that, right?" Mark Sloan was standing beside her, his hands sunk into the pocket of his lab coat. His hair had grown shaggy and he was unshaven. But he was here.

Arizona refused to look at him, refused to acknowledge the words he had spoken.

"I know you hear me in there, Blondie. You have to say goodbye. You have to turn off the ventilator."

"No. No. No." She said the words like a mantra, her eyes, red-rimmed and over flowing and stared at Callie, willing her to fight against the machine, to choke and pull at the tube.

_Baby, please wake up for me. Please._

"Arizona, this has gone on long enough. You're making her suffer."

Arizona's head whipped round at his comment. It was callous. It was a lie.

"She is not in any pain." Arizona wanted to go to Callie, to stroke her head, touch her hand, place a kiss on her cold, chapped lips, but was rooted to the spot, as immobile a statue.

"She's not in any pain." She repeated, straining at the forces that kept her still.

Mark wandered up to the ventilator and took a look.

"You know you need to do this." His hand paused on the electrical switches.

Suddenly, Arizona was beside him, her open hand swinging through the air and landing on his face. The force of the blow hurt her hand. It hurt her hand...her hand.

Arizona woke up and rubbed her hand.

It had been resting next to her head on the side of Callie's bed and gravity had gradually pulled it off the bed and smacked it into the side of the chair she was sitting in.

She gritted her teeth and kept the bile down.

It was only a dream.

It was only a dream.

Mark would never be so cruel and Callie wasn't at that point.

_Yet_.

The notion crept in and Arizona physically shook her head to rid it of the thought too unbearable to imagine.

One day at a time.

Callie simply needed time to heal.

Callie had been a coma for three days and though the tests had shown that her brain was free of the fungal infection that had caused so many other problems, she still hadn't woken up.

.

Arizona lay propped up on one side on the bed beside Callie and stroked her face. She knew that the nurses would chase her off, the minute they saw her but she grabbed a few minutes closeness with Callie because she desperately wanted to feel her warmth and body next to her. She had been home on precisely 2 occasions since Callie's collapse and both times was to shower and change.

Since then, she had slept in Callie's ICU room or in an on-call room and used the staff showers.

Arizona nuzzled against Callie's neck and very vaguely mourned the loss of her rich, luxuriant hair. She loved Callie's hair but it would grow back.

"Sweetheart, where are you? Why won't you come back to me?" Arizona murmured the words softly, almost to herself as she continued to stroke Callie's cheek, her exposed arms; anywhere she could touch her bare skin.

"Do you remember taking me to see Tosca? It wasn't that long ago." She paused as if expecting Callie to reply.

"Calliope, you said you'd kill for me, you said you'd die for me. I don't want that from you, darling, I want you to live for me. Can you do that for me, sweetheart, please? Live for me baby. That's all I want."

Arizona buried her face in Callie's neck and for the first time she allowed the tears to fall. Quietly, softly, Arizona wept all the tears of grief, pain and sorrow that had been pent up for days.

"I'm broken, Callie. _Now_ I'm broken. And only you can fix me. Please wake up, my love."

The tears stopped as quickly as they started and Arizona laid her head on Callie's shoulder, her fingers entwined with Callie's unresponsive fingers.

"Calliope, you're my joy, my peace, my strength. I cannot do this without you, you must wake up."

.

It was the end of her shift and Bailey wanted nothing more than to get home a read little Tuck a story before getting him settled for bed. But, as she had done every day for the last 5 nights, she went up the 2 flights of stairs to the ITU to check on Callie Torres.

Miranda Bailey was a dedicated and gifted surgeon. She knew this. She knew that in any given OR, on any given day of the week there were few that could match her talent and her tenacity. But, for all that, she was a pragmatic woman. She knew that now, all they could do was play the waiting game. And so, while she waited, Bailey would visit Callie, she would talk to her, comfort her distraught partner and she would remember them both in her prayers.

As she approached the darkened room, her eyes automatically flitted to the display on the machines, checking the reassuring beep of the heart monitor, hearing the pneumatic puff and hiss of the ventilator. Callie might not be out of her coma but she was still alive and that meant that she was still fighting.

Bailey quickly realised that she wasn't alone in the room and she fairly rocked back on her heels at the sight that meet met her eyes.

Why in tarnation was _she_ always the one that had to deal with these fools and their complicated love lives?

"Ahem. " She cleared her throat, announcing her presence.

"What exactly is it that you think you are doing?"

Liz Bennett was gently running a brush through Callie's dark hair, what was left of it, her head had been bent low and it seemed that she had been whispering, god knows what, into Callie's ear.

The redhead looked up at Bailey and offered her a tired smile.

"Hey Miranda. I'm brushing Callie's hair."

"You saw me take perform an appy today, so you knowI'm not blind. I can see that what you're doing, I'd like to know why?"

"I just thought it would be nice to..." Liz gestured to the woman in the bed, a flash of emotion crossing her face. At Bailey's raised, enquiring and, it has to be said, insistent eyebrows, she continued.

"I thought it would be nice to be a friend." She pushed her hand through her curly hair, pushing the dark russet strands aside.

"Uh huh, a _friend,_ you say?" Bailey sauntered up to Liz and plucked the hairbrush out of the anaesthetist's hands. Without actually turning it into a scrum, she bustled the woman away from Callie, forcing her to take a few steps away from the bed.

"Well, that's real nice of you, Elizabeth, real nice. But Callie already_ has_ friends. Her _friends_ are more than capable of brushing her hair and keeping her company. Callie doesn't need new friends, especially friends who seem more interested in climbing into her draws." Bailey pursed her lips and stared the other woman down.

Liz blinked at Bailey's fierce commentary and for a moment wondered at the fact that Bailey was the second woman to rush to defend Callie's honour. What _was_ is about this woman that had people, herself included, falling over themselves for her.

"C'mon, Miranda," she tried to laugh her presence off. "I thought you didn't gossip with the nurses."

"I don't gossip with anyone." Bailey corrected sharply, "But I do have ears and I do know what goes on in this hospital." She placed the brush down and gently straightened Callie's arm as it rested, unresponsive on the bed beside her. She shot a hard look at Liz who was fiddling with the zip of her coat.

"I _know_ you did not come not here to mess with poor girl's mind or worse, upset Arizona Robbins?"

"Umm..." Liz hadn't, not really, but she also didn't have a good answer. She hadn't planned on doing more than stopping by, certainly nothing so intimate as brushing Callie's hair but she had reached our her hand to touch her face and without giving it much thought, had found herself whispering quietly and stroking the brush through the heartbreakingly short tuffs of hair.

Bailey shifted her weight to one foot and barely restrained from tapping the other one with annoyance. Liz Bennett was just asking for a dressing down and as much as she wanted to, Bailey wasn't going yell at her in Callie's room. She walked over to the smaller woman and gently touching her by the arm, she ushered her out of the room.

"Dr Bennett, I suggest that a _friendly_ thing to do would be to send flowers. Perhaps with a tasteful, yet impersonal _Get Well Soon_ card." She stood at the threshold, clearly barring any return.

"You have a nice evening and I'll be sure to tell Arizona you stopped by." Her voice was dripping in saccharine and Liz winced slightly.

"You'll do nothing of the sort, will you, Miranda?"

"If you need to ask that question then you already know the answer. Go home. There's nothing for you here." Bailey's voice reverted back to its customary caustic tone.

Liz smiled slightly as she turned to leave. "You must love them both very much."

But Bailey merely widened her eyes in exasperation. "Go."

Liz nodded thoughtfully and then quietly walked away.

Miranda Bailey closed her eyes for a second and then returned to Callie's bedside and looked down at her friend.

"Callie Torres, I swear to god, the minute you wake up I'm going to give you the ass-whooping of a lifetime for making me have to deal with all this nonsense. "

.

"Hey baby, I have a surprise guest for you." Arizona walked into Callie's room and adjusted the bright purple comforter that covered her hospital issue blanket. Arizona had brought in one or two items from home including Callie's I-Pod and docking station. Some of Callie's favourite music had been played round the clock in the time that she had been here.

"Hey Dr Callie. Sorry to hear you're not well." Josiah Benton shifted his weight from one foot to the other and looked over at Arizona, who nodded encouragingly, a wide smile on her face. She had nearly been brought to tears when one of the nurses had pointed out Josiah in the waiting room. He had come in asking to see Callie or Arizona and he had his violin with him.

"So, like, they took my cast off a few weeks back and I've been hitting the gym and the physio just like to said and I have to tell you, the work out...it's a major pain." The young man relaxed a little and shuffled closer to the bed, looking over the equipment and at Callie's face as he spoke.

"But I have to admit, there are some really hot chicks that do physio with me and you'd never guess but they're really into me being a musician ...I've never been so popular. It totally rocks." Josiah looked over at Arizona and they shared a laugh.

"Anyway, I wanted to come by and say thank you and all and...well, I'm not back to my best yet, but Julliard are going to reserve my place and the physio people say I'm doing really well." He dried up, and ducked his head, clearly a little shy.

"Dr Arziona said that you'd like this...it's not perfect but...

"Josiah, it'll be perfect...just play." Arizona smiled her encouragement.

Quickly pulling out his violin, Josiah settled his instrument between his chin and shoulder and began playing for Callie.

Arizona could feel the tears gather in her throat at the music, it was beautifully melodic and joyous and for a brief moment in time as the young teenager played in that hospital room, with his baggy low-slung jeans and Nike trainers, Arizona closed her eyes and pretended that she and Callie were anywhere but here; hand in hand, happy and in love.

.

"Where's Arizona now?" Derek asked as he reviewed his pager again. He and Meredith were running to Callie's room.

"She had an emergency appy on a 4 year, she won't be long."

"Surgery, really? Did Webber think that a good idea?" Derek was distracted for a second at the news that instead of resting as he had instructed, Arizona had been working in the OR when she wasn't at Callie's side.

Meredith shrugged. "She says it helps keep her sane and frankly, I can't blame her. All this waiting must be killing her."

"Shall I page her?" she asked.

"No. Let me do an exam first. I don't want to spook Arizona during a surgery. Get someone to bring her to me the minute she comes out of surgery."

They arrived at ICU and hurried over to the EEG monitor to review the results.

"What's wrong...has something happened?" He got to his feet and looked anxiously at his daughter.

Derek turned to Carlos Torres who had been sitting at Callie's side reading a book out loud. He shook his head briefly but went back to examining the new information.

"Mr Torres, we need you to wait outside for a moment so that Dr Shepherd can work..." Meredith and a nurse began to usher Carlos out.

"Wait, wait, please tell me what's happening..." Carlos had gone pale and getting a nod of confirmation from Derek, Meredith gripped his arm and smiled at Callie's dad.

"Her brain is showing signs of activity, Mr Torres. She may be coming out of the coma, we need to see if she can breathe on her own."

"What...what about brain damage? Will she be alright?"

"It's too early to tell, Mr Torres, we really need the room now so that we can look after Callie, ok?"

Nodding , Carlos reached over and patted Callie's covered foot and hurried out of the room.

Derek looked up and Meredith could see the optimism written all over his face.

"She's waking up, there's no question about it."

.

Callie felt as if she was being held underwater.

She couldn't breathe, she couldn't see and her limbs felt weak.

She was in a nightmare. All she had to do was wake up.

Callie tried to push through the mist and clouds that fogged her brain and clouded her path but she couldn't. Her eyes wouldn't open and when she tried to call out, no words would come.

There were voices and she tried to move in the direction, hoping to attract attention.

There was a restrained chorus of words and sentences and Callie strained to hear one voice. She'd heard it before, somewhere...somewhere; it was a gentle, soothing voice, sometimes pleading and tearful, sometimes forceful and commanding but always there. The voice was always there comforting her fears. There was also a warmth, like sunlight on her hand and the sensation soothed her, took away her fears. She was safe here.

Callie strained but for a moment and realised that she was too tired. She decided to stop fighting against the mist and cloud and just rest for a minute and then she would open her eyes and wake up.

.

"Goddamnit."

Arizona was sitting by Callie's side, still in her scrubs and holding Callie's hand between hers, stroking it, trying to imbue some warmth and life into the limb.

"What happened?" Arizona was staring at Callie's face and didn't look up at Shepherd's frustrated exclamation.

"She's slipped back, not as deep as before but she was almost out."

"Is there anything we can do?" she asked.

"We could extubate her, try and force her body to start working on its own, but it's a risky manoeuvre. She's been intubated for over a week, taking the tubes out is one thing but if she doesn't breathe spontaneously..."

"Her throat will be too swollen to re-intubate her." Arizona nodded. She had been shocked and then frightened when she found Meredith waiting for her the minute she came out of her surgery but after hearing the news, for the first time she had allowed that tiny sliver of hope to blossom, just a little bit. Arizona believed now, like never before that they were going to come out of this and she was not letting go of that belief.

"Calliope, baby, you're killing me here. Quit messing around and wake up for me, hmmm?" She leaned forward and placed a kiss on Callie's, now almost blemish-free, forehead. The swelling had gone and the bruise had finally paled to a small patch of dark yellow.

"Your poor mother is going grey and Aria and I have smoked enough cigarettes to pollute the western seaboard and...and I'm pretty sure your dad thinks that we're all incompetent here and is planning to whisk you away to Florida." Arizona kept up her commentary with Callie, as she had done every day. Sometimes she talked utter rubbish like now but more often than not, she'd tell Callie about her day or the latest gossip from Mark. And occasionally, when she could just about bear the pain, Arizona would talk to Callie about their plans for the future. It was a bittersweet and infinitely heartbreaking thing to discuss birthing plans and children's names and the possibility of a wedding with someone who might not be there to share it with you, but Arizona did it anyway. She would anything if it meant that it would help Callie find her way home.

Arizona caught the movement and stood up so quickly, she knocked her chair over.

"Derek ...I think she's trying to swallow."

Derek looked up from the EEG and hurried over.

"No readings from the monitor, are you sure?"

Arizona knew that the mind cold play tricks. She was under inordinate stress, had she imagined it?

Her eyes had wandered down from her curved lips to her stubborn chin and finally rested on her throat.

She shook her head and flicked a glance at Derek.

"I'm sure. The movement was slight, perhaps just a reflexive twitch, but she moved."

Even as they discussed the possibility of bringing Callie out of her coma a number of things happened simultaneously; the EEG monitor began recording activity at a phenomenal rate, at a normal, healthy rate, the heart monitor starting showing that Callie's heart rate had hiked up and finally Callie started to choke.

Controlled panic erupted as all hands came on deck.

Arizona knew that she wasn't meant to be involved; she was the partner not the doctor, but as she saw Callie's beautiful eyelashes flutter she felt her heart explode and she surged forward, helping Derek to take out her breathing tube.

"Cough, honey, that's right, just cough. I've got you." Arizona was leaning over Callie, her hand curled behind her neck. Callie's eyes fluttered and finally opened. Dazed, she stared into Arizona's tearful blue eyes and the second stretched.

Arizona could feel the warmth of Callie's neck on her hand, she saw a single teardrop fall from her and land on Callie's cheek. She felt the shudder run through Callie as she fought against the tube and heard the slick suction as it was pulled from her throat.

Callie's eyes were round with panic and they stared into Arizona's with a mute question.

The second ended and Derek briskly moved her away, "Arizona I need to check her ..."

"Somebody...get her family in here..." Arizona realised that she could barely speak and that she was shaking badly as adrenaline rampaged through her.

She watched as Derek bent over Callie for a minute.

"Don't try to talk just yet, ok?"

Arizona released a breath as after a short pause Callie nodded her head slowly. Her eyes flickered round the room and the panic was clear as she took in her surroundings.

She half-raised her hand off the bed but it flopped back down as the effort seemed to be too much for her.

"Can you tell me your name?" Derek started to perform the basic tests to ascertain if brain damage had taken place.

"Calliope Iphigenia Torres, Jesus Christ, Derek, what the hell happened to me...?" Her voice was weak and scratchy but unmistakeable and Arizona shoved her fist into her mouth to hold back her sobs of relief.

She started to move towards the bed when Carlos, Marguerite and Aria rushed into the room and up to the bed.

"Oh my God, Daddy, Mama...Aria?...please tell me what happened." Callie started to try and sit up and a chorus of yells from Arizona, Derek and Meredith forced her back down.

Her eyes continued to flicker about the room, seeking something, someone out.

"You're Derek Shepherd, head of Neurosurgery, that's the Chief over there and I'm in Seattle Grace Hospital." She took a deep breath, her voice a little stronger, "I've clearly had a pretty severe brain injury." A frown formed between her eyebrows and her eyes landed on Arizona's for a long second before going back to Derek's face.

"OK, you are all freaking me out. I really need to what happened to me and why the hell my husband isn't here."

A hush settled on the room and Arizona felt her world tip on its axis.

"Where the hell is George?"

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together.**_

_Rated: M for language and mature themes._

_They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that.__This is almost exclusive Callie and Arizona, the other GA characters do pop up from time to time but please don't count on a fully fledged GA episode__here__._

_If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly._

_Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have zero medical knowledge. Enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc. _

* * *

**OK. I admit, it was a pretty mean trick and I'm sorry, truly. **

**My meanness notwithstanding I really do want to say thank you for the feedback and comments. It's really great to know you're engaging with the story.**

**I'll be away for a few weeks and won't be updating for a while but this chapter is just a little something to keep the fires burning...I hope you like.**

* * *

_**10**_

Derek closed his eyes for second.

It could be temporary. It might not be a problem.

Without turning round to the room, he half took out his stethoscope and spoke loudly.

"I need the room clear, all family and ... friends please wait outside." He shot a look at Meredith and she caught his meaning immediately.

Turning to Callie's family, Meredith shook her head firmly at the immediate protest that came from Carlos Torres.

"We need to go, right now, Sir," she insisted, ushering him away, taking a sideways glance at Arizona.

She seemed rooted the spot, her face stricken and grey and a closed fist pressed hard against her mouth.

Meredith went to her at once, putting and arm around her and leading her away.

The rest of Callie's family left, quickly and quietly; Marguerite and Aria both with tears streaming down their faces.

"Ok, I really need someone to tell me what happened ... Where _is _George? Has he been hurt?"

Callie's voice was still very weak but her agitation was clear and her heart rate was steadily increasing.

"Callie, I promise I'll answer all of your questions but I need you to calm down." Derek needed to complete his exam and then possibly get a psych consult. Temporary amnesia wasn't

completely unexpected but he needed to make sure that there wasn't any underlying physical damage that might have been overlooked and was causing the memory loss.

"Callie, what's the last thing you remember?" Though it wasn't a general surgery case, Richard Webber had come the minute he had heard that Callie was emerging from her coma.

Callie leaned back and closed her eyes for moment.

She felt completely shattered, bone-weary as if she'd just run a double marathon encased in cement boots. Every part of her body ached. She tried to focus on Derek's question but she couldn't get the image of her tearful parents and sister out of her head.

How bad had she been?

"I ummmm I had finished my shift and had gone home, I think I was waiting to see George." she looked up at them, chewing in her pale, dry lips.

"Derek, just tell me...please?" At the look that was exchanged between the two men Callie closed her eyes and prepared herself for the worst. She could feel her heart sink even further.

She had been shocked and frightened when she had struggled out of her nightmare only to find that it was all too real and that she was choking on an intubation tube.

The sight of her entire immediate family and their obvious distress made it patently clear that she had been seriously, dangerously ill.

Her throat was still painful and raw but she needed answers. George wasn't anywhere in sight and Derek and the Chief weren't being explicit with her.

"Is George dead?" her heart was pounding hard, but she couldn't wait for a response and supplied an answer herself.

"Were we in an accident and George was killed? Is that what happened?"

The last thing she actually remembered was telling George that she forgave him for sleeping with Izzie. Callie couldn't tell if it was self-possession or self-preservation that forced the lie, but brain injury or no, the whole hospital didn't need to know that after only a few months of ill-advised matrimony, her husband had strayed.

Derek sighed trying to work out the best way to break the news.

Not telling her immediately would only heighten her fears and yet telling her bluntly could do untold psychological damage.

"Just tell me, for God's sake," Callie burst out, her voice weak and trembling.

"Callie, I need to be strong, ok?" Derek answered her question before he actually said the words and tears sprang to her eyes at the thought that George had died.

"How did it happen? We're we in a RTA?" she turned her face away from the men, staring at the monitors as tears ran down her face.

"Callie, this is going to be difficult for you to take in but George died nearly 2 years ago." Derek rushed on at her gasp of shock and the look of dawning horror and understanding on her face.

"You've been in a coma for nearly a week as a result of a traumatic brain injury ..."

"I've got amnesia? I've got frigging amnesia?"

Callie spat out incredulous and then started to cough at the violence of her words.

"Callie, I know this is a lot to take in but your throat needs time to heal..."

"George is _dead_?" her outburst died as quickly as it flared and she said the words, unbelieving, a fresh stream of tears pouring down her face.

"I'm sorry, yes. He was hit by a bus nearly 2 years ago..." Richard Webber knew that Callie's love life had been somewhat messy and didn't want to be the one to break it to her that she'd been divorced from O'Malley for over a year before he died.

"Torres, let Derek finish his exam and we'll get A... we'll get your family in. We're going to need to take things slowly; you can't allow yourself to get overwhelmed right now."

Callie's tears continued to fall but she nodded her head. Both men could see her exhaustion and the stress of the news she had just received would play havoc on her BP.

Derek wondered how significant it was that Callie was more distraught over George than she was about her own health. She was an open-hearted woman and perhaps it meant nothing. His thoughts flashed to Arizona and he wondered how she was holding up after the revelation of Callie's amnesia.

He could only imagine the devastation she must be feeling right now.

Callie closed her eyes and tried to calm down but the tears seeped through her lashes anyway.

Her mind was crowded with thoughts and images, each one smashing into another until a painful montage of memories forced her eyes open.

"I can't believe George died 2 years ago... I can't believe I've been in a coma..." As she swiped the back of her hand across her face, Callie realised that she didn't know what put her in a coma in the first place.

"So, what happened to me? Did I have an accident?"

"A combination of events led to you suffering what we think was an SIS, in addition, you also had a blastomycosis infection in your lungs. You hit your head last week and had a MTBI and contusions. But we can fill you in later. You need to get some rest right now." Derek summarised quickly aware that Callie was draining her depleted reserves of energy.

Callie's eyes went round at Derek's words.

"SIS? Are you frigging kidding me?"

"Torres, you need to rest." Richard Webber used his 'Chief 'voice, hoping to put a temporary halt to her questions.

Callie leaned back and put her hand on her chest, feeling the beat of her heart.

Amnesia or not, she was lucky to be alive.

.

Arizona's skin was ashen and Meredith stood close by her side, not convinced that she wouldn't collapse under the shock and strain.  
Her eyes were dull and glassy and she hadn't spoken a single word, simply stood frozen, staring through the glass panes at the occupants of the ICU room.

"Arizona...can I get you something?" Meredith was at a loss.

A single tear ran down Arizona's face but she didn't say anything. She couldn't.

Were the gods having a huge joke at her expense?

How could it be possible that after everything that they had been through, that Callie would finally get through to the other side, only to have lost her memories of their life together along the way? She had been so preoccupied with preparing for the very worst that a simple, but obvious concern like amnesia hadn't occurred to her. She should have seen this coming.

Arizona thought that her world was coming to an end during Callie's coma, she had felt almost every good feeling within her melt away during those long quiet nights that she sat Callie's bedside and pleaded with or bullied her to wake up.

But right now, the waves of emotion that rolled through her defied description. Arizona could not name the thing that pushed through her heart and mind and soul, save that it was robbing her of her light, her sweetness and her hope.

She felt lightheaded and her body wouldn't stop shaking.

Arizona recognised the signs of shock but could no more move from this spot than she could sprout wings and fly.

She knew that Meredith was offering her a shoulder to cry on but Arizona didn't want a shoulder to cry on.

She wanted Callie.

.

"Shut up. You're fucking shitting me."

"I shit you not." Meredith pulled on her jacket and sank down on a bench. She was drained and just wanted to go home and sleep for a few days.

"But she's alright, though, right? I mean, a little amnesia never hurt anyone, right?" Cristina made sure first and at Meredith's uncertain shrug turned her attention back to the original issue of Callie's jaw-dropping question.

"You know this is way better than any soap you've got on TIVO."

"Cristina," Meredith protested.

"What?" Cristina shrugged, unabashed and bunched her hair up. "It is and you know it."

"Callie and Arizona are our friends, we need to be supportive." Meredith said.

"Umm, if you recall your timeline correctly, Mer, you and Izzie Stevens gave Callie a hard time when she married George. Not so sure she's gonna think of you as a friend right now."

Meredith opened her mouth and then closed it. Cristina did have a bit of a point there.

"Crap." Meredith muttered. She'd forgotten how protective she and Izzie had been of George. But Cristina was still agog, pumping her for more details.

"How'd Arizona take it?"

"How'd you think, Cristina? She looked devastated, the Chief took her away."

"You know what I think's going to happen next?" Cristina slammed her locker shut and picked up her rucksack.

"I bet Callie's Dad is going to use this to his advantage. He cut her off, that didn't work, he then tried to exorcise the gayness away with a priest and that backfired..." She nodded her head enthusiastically, warming to her theory.

"He's going to use Callie's amnesia to get Arizona out of her life. I bet he takes her back to Miami and..."

"Cristina. Stop." Meredith halted Cristina's script writing exercise.

"What...?"

"Callie nearly died. Arizona's a mess. This isn't some funny incident laid on for our amusement..."

"You think I don't know that, Mer? You think that I've not been thinking about Callie all this time? She's the woman I've shared an apartment with for 18 months. She's the person who, arguably, saved my life when Owen damn near choked me to death." Cristina toyed with her keys, her face barely betraying the cracks of the stress of the last week and a half. "I'm aware of what Callie's been through, is going through and I feel for her and Arizona. But you know me well enough to know that I'm not going to be a girl and wear my heart on a sleeve. Callie's alive and breathing and right now, that's good enough for me."

She shrugged, her narrow frame radiating defiance.

"Deal with it."

Meredith opened her mouth to argue some ore and then closed it.

Cristina was right.

The most important thing was that Callie had made it. She was alive.

.

She couldn't tell what Derek or the Chief were saying but Callie was in floods of tears and Arizona physically ached with the need to go to her, to take Callie in her arms and rock slowly, to comfort her and wipe away the tears that were falling.

"Arizona, come with me please, we need to talk."

So focused was she on Callie, still talking with Derek and the Chief, she hadn't noticed Carlos approach her.

"We need to stay close by, she'll want us soon..." Arizona heard her voice and couldn't recognise it as hers.

Carlos put a warm harm on her shoulder.

"I just want a little privacy for a moment, Marguerite or Aria will come get us the minute Shepherd allows us to see her." Carlos offered a tired smile, the strain showing on his face as well.

The last week had been horrendous for all of them.

Nodding, Arizona took a long look at Callie, who was still sobbing and found that she couldn't move. She felt her heart twist with the obvious distress that Callie was in and simply couldn't leave her. She might not be able to physically offer comfort but she needed to be close.

"I can't leave her, Carlos. I need to be here...here. She might need me..." Arizona's weak voice trailed away. Callie wouldn't need her. Right now, Callie didn't know she even existed.

"Ok, it's ok, we can stay here." Carlos cleared his throat and then rubbed his hands together but said nothing else for a moment and gradually, Arizona became aware that he was watching her closely.

Her stomach dropped away and her heart lurch painfully as a thought occurred to her.

"I won't give her up, Sir. I will not." Arizona's voice didn't increase in strength but the intensity in the words and the fierceness of her gaze were impossible to miss. Her pale white hands clenched into fists and colour suffused her pale face.

"I told you that I loved her and I meant it. She may not remember me right now but we'll find a way ..." Arizona choked, unable to finish.

Carlos dropped his gaze and cleared his throat again.

"Callie's ... new life is not want I wanted for her. I was disappointed and shocked and unhappy..." He looked up ruefully. "You know this; you were as much in the firing line as Calliope was."

"I thought that I could force her to change her mind about... things. I thought that I could bully her into giving you up." Carlos shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels a little, Arizona could see that he was trying to find the right words and for a brief moment she was distracted.

"I was wrong then and I never really apologised to you."

"Calliope gave up her family to be with you. I know how much she loves us and yet, she was willing to let us go for you." He placed both hands on Arizona's shoulders and turned her to face him, she could see that this was important to him.

"She loves you, Arizona and she needs you to help make her better. Whatever we can do to help we will. You have my word. I am truly sorry for the hurt I caused."

Arizona swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, unable to speak. The dreadful thought that Carlos might try to use Callie's amnesia faded away. At least that was one hurdle she didn't need to worry about.

Carlos cleared his throat again.

"I know that you might have thought that I'd use this to whisk Callie away but I promise you after my last trip out here, I learnt my lesson."

Blinking away her tears, Arizona felt a little of the tension leave her body.

"That and the fact that Mama threatened to divorce him if he ever pulled a stunt like that again." Aria pulled Arizona into a loose hug and whispered into her ear.

"Arizona, I know this stinks but we'll work it out, I'm sure she'll get her memories back, it happens all the time, right?" Despite her breezy optimism, Arizona could see the fear in Aria's eyes.

Arizona nodded, her eyes once again glued to Callie's pale, tear-streaked face.

In truth, she had no idea.

.

Derek and the Chief came out of Callie's room and Derek said to them.

"You can go in for 5 minutes. She is completely exhausted and needs rest. You can come back tomorrow and stay a little longer but for now just a few minutes, try to keep her relaxed." Derek shoved his hands into his pockets and they could all see the tiredness in his posture.

"We had to tell her about O'Malley; she's obviously very upset." He paused for a minute and then looked directly at Arizona.

"Her BP is a little high and for the time being...just for a while, I'm going to strongly recommend that she has no more ...shocks to deal with."

Arizona felt her body go cold but it wasn't an unreasonable request given Callie's fragile state. It hurt nonetheless but she nodded her acquiescence without speaking.

Callie's family, as one, turned to look at Arizona offering whatever support they could.

"Perhaps Arizona could be another doctor on her case?" Marguerite suggested.

Even as Derek was shaking his head, Arizona responded.

"Thank you but I'm not sure I could hold it together, we need to keep it simple...please go in, be with her. We'll talk tomorrow." Arizona forced a smile of sorts to her face and watched sadly as they hurried into the room and gathered around Callie's bed.

She wasn't sure that the pain she could feel wouldn't kill her.

.

Callie gradually roused from her sleep.

She kept her eyes closed but knew that it was still early morning, way before rounds. The sounds outside her room were minimal; she could hear the buzz and hiss of equipment, the squeak of rubber sole shoes of the nurses on the polished floor.

It had been 2 days since she'd awoken from her coma and had sort of come to terms with the fact that her memories hadn't come rushing back.

She still couldn't believe that George had died.

Her last memory of the sweet, gentle man that she had married was that he was an unfaithful bastard.

Callie had spoken to her parents about him and they had told her that they had eventually found an amicable friendship since their divorce but Callie sensed that there was plenty that they were holding back. She couldn't tell if it was about George or other aspects of her life but she had been frustrated by the lack of concrete answers.

Dr Annabelle Wyatt had been to see her and had set up a schedule once Callie had been discharged but her biggest piece of advice was not to force the memories.

"Amnesia is a tricky thing to deal with, if it's not organic then we need to get to the root of why the memories aren't coming back and sometimes, even that's not enough." The resident shrink had told her.

"Give your body some time to heal and try not to push things."

So far, only her family had been allowed to visit and Callie desperately need to see Mark or speak to Addison to get a clear picture of what had happened in the last 2 years.

One of the nurses from the ICU had promised to page Addison for her but so far she hadn't shown up.

Callie still had her eyes closed but for reasons that she couldn't quite determine, absolutely knew that someone was close by, observing her intently.

She cracked one eye open to see who it was, Derek wasn't likely to come in this early except for an emergency and rounds wouldn't start for another few hours. There was diffused lighting from the corridor beyond and Callie could barely see the figure standing at the door.

But the combination of navy blue scrubs and long blonde hair triggered a hint of a memory. There was something, almost wistful about the way the woman hung onto the door frame, as if unable to carry her own weight but Callie didn't really absorb that thought. She could remember an oddly emotional pair of blue eyes looking down on her as she fought against the intubation tube, a warm gentle hand cupping her cheek and soothing her, soft words encouraging her, calming her.

Callie wasn't sure she was up for company but the woman had been gentle taking out the intubation tube and more importantly had kept Callie grounded during her initial panic of waking up in the ICU.

"Hey." Callie called out.

She could see the figure hesitate for a moment and Callie thought that she might just walk away but the woman finally responded with a quiet _hey_ in response. She still hovered by the door, seemingly unwilling to venture further in.

"You were here with Derek and the Chief the other day, right?" Callie struggled to sit up, she was still a little weak and the blonde rushed to her side as soon as she noticed Callie's awkward movement.

"Let me help you sit up," her voice was soft and curiously familiar and as she leaned over Callie to prop her up slightly Callie caught sight of her name badge.

"Arizona Robbins," she smiled at the woman who seemed frozen by her bedside. "Cool name."

Arizona Robbins tilted her head slightly in acknowledgement, a ghost of a smile crossing her shadowed face but seemed content to remain silent.

"I guess you know who I am, right?" Callie scrabbled about in her mind trying to recall the face from her past, trying to remember anything and slumped back, frustrated when she came up empty. The woman's face was shrouded in the darkness of the room but Callie could see the incredible brightness of her blue eyes.

"Yes, Calliope. I know who you are," A wry smile crossed Arizona's face but she didn't say anything else.

"Calliope?" Callie wrinkled her nose.

"I'm guessing that either we don't work together or you've been spending too much time with my dad. No one calls me that."

Arizona didn't respond but Callie thought that her eyes flickered strangely before she moved to the end of the bed and flipped through her chart.

"How have you been feeling? Any headaches, nausea?" light-headedness?" Arizona's voice was crisply professional, almost detached and yet Callie thought she could detect a tremor. She had a nice voice with a slight mid-western twang that Callie actually found really pleasant.

But she shook her head, not really answering the question, she had a vague headache since she'd come out of the coma and though Callie had mentioned it to Derek, she didn't want him paged over something insignificant. Everyone was treating her like an invalid and Callie didn't like it. She was used to feeling healthy and vigorous and right now she felt lost.

She twisted her hands together, wringing them like an old-fashioned washer-woman, unable to shake her frustration and fear about the missing years.

"I'm fine, I'm just..." She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, willing the sudden tears to go away.

A warm pair of hands closed over hers and stilled their movements.

"It's ok, honey. It'll be ok." Arizona spoke softly, her words a bare murmur, designed to soothe.

Callie drew strength from the contact, not questioning why she felt so comfortable with the blonde.

"I know I'm lucky to be alive but without my memories ... it's like there's a space ...a gap in me and I don't know how to fill it."

"Like there's a piece of you missing and without it you can't be whole again? Arizona said quietly.

Callie snapped open her eyes to find Arizona staring at her.

She grasped Arizona's hands in hers, holding them tightly.

"That's it, exactly."

Callie was relieved that someone could put into words what she had been feeling for the last 2 days. For a moment, at least, it made Callie feel less alone.

"It's early days, Callio...Callie." Arizona licked her lips and blinked rapidly. "You need to give yourself a chance to heal."

Callie took a deep breath and tried to calm down, still holding tight to the pale hands. Suddenly self-conscious, realising that she was clinging onto Arizona Robbins like she was a lifeline, Callie let go of the smaller hands and immediately missed their warmth.

"Are you on Shepherd's service? You seem kind of familiar but..." Callie rushed to fill the empty space, not wanting the woman to leave but not knowing exactly how to ask her to stay for while.

The woman shook her head, the blonde hair falling out of her ponytail as she started to back away.

"No, I...happened to be around when..."

"Hey don't go, stay with me a while. Keep me company." Callie interrupted her, realising that she was about to leave.

Arizona paused, her indecision clear.

"Do you have to go, right now?" Callie asked, feeling like a little child. She was feeling sleepy again but wanted to stay awake and talk, it seemed that the quiet Arizona Robbins might be a good person to have around. She certainly had a fantastic bedside manner.

"Callie you need to sleep, you need your rest." Callie blinked at what sounded almost like desperation in the woman's voice.

Callie twisted her lips and dipped her head slightly, a faint flush of colour staining her pale cheeks. She was a doctor. She knew that she was an intelligent woman, but she felt weak and silly and didn't know how to voice her need.

A warm hand caught her chin softly and raised her head and Callie found herself staring into the woman's amazing eyes.

"Tell me what's wrong, Callie."

Callie didn't mind the closeness of the woman, in fact she took comfort in the contact, but she lowered her lashes for a second, struggling to find the right words.

"I know you're frightened, sweetheart but you'll be ok." Arizona's words were soft.

"I'm sometimes scared to go to sleep. I think that if I close my eyes, I won't wake up. I know it's stupid but I can't help it." Callie kept her eyes lowered, not wanting to see the amusement or pity in the blue gaze.

After a second Callie heard Arizona clear her throat.

"I work in paeds ...I'm with sick kids all day long. And you know what I love about children?" She paused, clearly waiting for a response, so Callie lifted her gaze to Arizona's eyes, shaking her head mutely.

"I love their honesty, Callie. I love their innocence and their truth. There is nothing wrong in being scared and I think it's brave of you to say so." She swallowed hard and seemed to come to a decision.

"If you want, I can stay with you for a while until you fall asleep, would...would that help?"

"Are we friends?" Callie felt the emotion come off the woman in waves. This was more than a professional interest, the woman clearly cared for her and Callie felt a pang of hurt that she didn't even know who the woman was.

Arizona blinked and smiled, just a little.

"Yes, Callie, we're friends."

Callie nodded, taking in her response.

"I'm sorry I don't ... but you seem like a great friend...I'd love it if you stayed until I fell asleep."

Callie swallowed her embarrassment and held out her hand.

"Please, hold my hand."

Without a word, the blonde took Callie's hand and settled down beside her, quietly talking about a surgery she had just completed.

Callie gradually began to drift off into sleep, reassured by the low voice and the warm hand holding hers, the gentle caressing circles on the back of her hand reminding her of something distant and fuzzy.

As Callie slipped into a dreamless sleep the thought that had hovered ever since Arizona Robbins presented herself made itself clear for the breadth of a second.

The voice was familiar.

It was the voice of the angel that had brought her safely home after being lost in the fog for days; it was the voice that had brought her out of her nightmare, the voice that had pleaded and bargained and bullied her to wake up.

But even as the thought became clear, it was lost as Callie fell asleep.

.

Arizona looked down on the sleeping face of her girlfriend and hoped that her silent sobs wouldn't wake her up.

_Oh God, Callie, what am I going to do without you?_

**TBC**

_**OK, I'm a Brit who can barely tell a Manc from a Scouse or a Geordie from a Glaswegian, I haven't the faintest clue where Arizona Robbins's accent is from. So, I guessed. I hope it doesn't ruin the story.**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together.**_

_Rated: M for language and mature themes._

_They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that.__This is almost exclusive Callie and Arizona, the other GA characters do pop up from time to time but please don't count on a fully fledged GA episode__here__._

_If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly._

_Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have zero medical knowledge. Enjoy._

_Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc. _

_**Apologies for my absence but I did have a great holiday! Thanks for your comments and feedback. **_

* * *

_**11**_

Dr Wyatt watched quietly, her hands folded, almost primly, on her lap as Arizona Robbins paced up and down a stretch of her office.

She had made a one-off appointment more than a week ago, cancelled and re-booked it twice and had finally shown up late and had yet to do more than shine a weak smile in her direction and pace the floor.

"You know, I'm not sure what kind of insurance you've got but I doubt it will cover the cost of my Persian rug, Arizona." The psychiatrist smiled encouragingly at Arizona as she came to a halt in the middle of the office.

Arizona had very thin personnel file. She was a brilliant doctor and surgeon, was an army brat and had lost a brother in Iraq. Given the plethora of issues that were almost inherent with the type of high-stress, high-stakes medicine that Arizona practiced as Head of Paediatrics, the fact that she had never previously met with Wyatt told the older woman that the blonde was used to sorting things out for herself. She didn't like asking for help and quite possibly considered it a weakness.

It might explain the cancellations and the pacing without a word. All Wyatt knew was that Arizona was having difficulty with her partner's recent injury.

"Arizona, you explained only the basics over the phone, why don't you tell me how I can help you."

"Callie Torres is my partner," Arizona finally spoke out, her words quiet. She still stood in the middle on the office, examining her hands as if they would give her the answers she was seeking.

Dr Wyatt allowed herself a slight rise of her eyebrows. Callie Torres had a whole slew of appointments with her soon. The older woman now had more than an inking into what was coming next.

"Callie doesn't know that we're together, she doesn't even know that she's gay and I don't know what to do." The words seemed forced out of Paeds surgeon and Wyatt finally opened her notebook and jotted down a few lines.

"Have you seen her since she woke up?" Wyatt asked, her words impassive.

"Every day. I...told her that we were...are friends..." Arizona trailed off and Wyatt could see the pain in her eyes, but just for a second.

"And...?" she prompted, wanting Arizona to open up.

"And I've avoided certain subjects, I've talked about work and our friends and what's been going on. I've talked a lot about George." Arizona twisted her lips as she said this and Wyatt picked up the inflection.

"Is it a problem for you to talk about George O'Malley?"

"Calliope is still grieving for him; I can't break it to her that we're together, not right now."

"It's perfectly normal to feel jealously, Arizona."

Arizona closed her eyes for moment.

"I know that and this isn't about me, it really isn't. I...I just don't know what to do."

"Yes, you do, Arizona. It will be difficult. It will be uncomfortable. But you know what to do."

Arizona swung to look at the other doctor and wanted to argue. She wanted to protest. She wanted to cry.

Arizona slowly sat down on the leather couch.

"What if she freaks out?"

"What if she doesn't?"

Arizona tilted her head slightly, a sad smile on her face.

"You don't know Calliope...she'll freak..." Arizona stopped talking and swallowed hard. She had cried far too much over the last few days. She didn't need to be a cliché and cry while in therapy.

Dr Wyatt gave Arizona a minute to compose herself.

"You know that for sure...really?"

Arizona went back to examining her fingers. "Actually, she's unpredictable...it's one of the reasons I love her."

After a pause Wyatt picked up an earlier thread.

"So, you've seen her every day and she hasn't asked who she's been seeing since George or the nature of your relationship?"

Arizona rubbed her hands over her face, trying the erase what seemed like years of exhaustion.

"I've ...skirted the issue...she has trouble sleeping so I've been going around her bedtime to help her relax and ... and..."

"To be near her?" Wyatt asked gently

Arizona nodded once without looking up.

"Do you think you can hide your love from her?" Wyatt carried on without waiting for response, even as Arizona shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, the leather creaking slightly. "I've never seen the two of you together yet I can see how much you love her just by what you've just said. She will know that you have feelings for her, unless she's blind and her chart says that her vision is unimpaired."

Wyatt leaned forward, elbows on knees, her hands loosely clasped in front of her. Her expression was both earnest and urgent.

"Calliope will know that you are keeping something from her and the longer you keep from telling her the more she will feel that something is wrong, that you're hiding something.

"She might be shocked by the news that she's gay. She might not. But the longer you make it a big deal, the bigger a deal she will make out of it."

Dr Wyatt sat back and looked into the unhappy face of her reluctant patient.

"You have to tell, Arizona and you have to tell her now."

* * *

"Hey, where have you been? I missed you."

Callie sat up straight and grinned broadly at Arizona as she walked into her room.

"You know, I almost had you paged yesterday. I had to beg Shepherd for 2 of Haldol the other night, just to help me sleep."

"You are kidding, right?" Arizona stood stock still, slightly shocked. After her session with Dr Wyatt, Arizona had tried to maintain a little distance and had only visited Callie while she was asleep. She knew that Carlos and Marguerite had been confused but she hadn't been able to explain.

But Callie's grin widened a little.

"OK, I'm exaggerating a little. But I did miss you. I've got used to your voice sending me to sleep."

Callie looked over at her friend and noted the look of tension on her face and felt a pang of guilt. Callie knew that she could be demanding and that she had been relying quite heavily on her new-found companion. The woman was the head of paediatrics, it was unreasonable of Callie to expect Arizona to spend every last free minute babysitting her.

Callie reached out and grabbed Arizona's hand and held it in her much larger one.

"Look, I'm sorry. I know I can be a little too much sometimes...I mean, you must have a life outside of the hospital and all you've done the last week is talk me to sleep, I've completely monopolised your time. Your boyfriend must really be hating my guts, right now."

Arizona closed her eyes at Callie's words. No time like the present.

"Umm, Cal, I don't have a boyfriend...I'm..."

"No, really?" Callie interrupted, her voice surprised. Arizona was a very attractive woman, but perhaps, like many career surgeons, she didn't have time for a personal life right now.

"Callie, I don't have a boyfriend because I'm gay." Arizona corrected quietly, watching Callie's face closely.

"Oh, wow. OK. My gaydar was never any good." Callie smiled up at her, easily, without missing a beat. "So, I guess your girlfriend must really be hating me right now, huh? C'mon. Don't tell me you don't have a girlfriend...you're gorgeous."

Arizona sank down on the edge of Callie's bed and looked at their intertwined fingers. It was a comfortable, familiar gesture, one that they had shared countless times, their hands meeting and linking instinctively. Arizona loved the warmth and strength of Callie's fingers and had missed the physical closeness that they shared.

Callie could see that Arizona was troubled about something.

In the evenings, when she came and spent time with her, Arizona had talked about George or the hospital or the shooting but she hadn't talked about them, about their relationship and small bell went off in the back of Callie's head.

"You know, Arizona, for all the time you've been with me, you haven't really talked about yourself, other than your work here." Callie's fingers were loosely resting on Arizona's wrist and under the pads of her fingers she felt the pulse rate jump and pick up.

"I don't remember anything about you, and it's kind of weird, since I think we must be pretty good friends and I'm guessing it might be kind of painful for you... or something. I just wish I could remember more."

Callie wasn't sure what she was getting at but she was sure something was wrong.

"Callie, you need to pace yourself, you've been through unimaginable trauma, you can't just expect everything to fall into place at once." Arizona kept her voice low and calm, even as she felt her heart rate pick up. Coming here, talking to Callie had always been a calculated risk. But she had taken it because she hadn't been able to bear the pain of separation. Not seeing Callie, not being with her had been unbearable. So, Arizona had taken the risk that she might reveal herself or their relationship before Callie was ready for it.

Carlos had agreed that he wouldn't break the news to Callie about their relationship, but Arizona was now increasingly aware of the fact that she would have to tell Callie soon. In truth, she'd known this even before she'd gone to see Dr Wyatt. She just had to find the right time, the right words but one thing was clear; she couldn't hide her love for Callie forever.

"Everyone has been tiptoeing around me as if I was made of eggshells, I don't what the hell people are so worried about; I'm tough, I can take it, whatever it is. I mean, Mark's dropped by a couple of times but he actually blushes when he looks at me, which probably means that I was an adulterous slut at some point. Even my parents are dodging my questions, Arizona." Callie leaned back against the bank of pillows and closed her eyes for a moment.

Arizona's heart caught in her breast as she looked at Callie. Her long dark eyelashes cast a crescent shadow on her cheekbones, her skin still pale from her ordeal. She was beautiful.

Callie's eyes opened and Arizona felt herself drown in the dark warm depths of her brown gaze, she felt the familiar tingle of awareness that always encompassed her when Callie looked into her eyes and a for second, just a second, Arizona forgot that Callie didn't know what they meant to each other, she forgot that she had to be careful and simply let her love for the woman shine out as she returned her stare.

But only for a second.

Arizona lowered her gaze, hurriedly, uncertain of how much she had revealed.

"Arizona, what is it that people are scared to tell me?" Callie fixed her gaze on Arizona's face, determination evident in the set of her jaw.

Arizona took a deep breath and held on to Callie's hands with both of hers, trying infuse confidence and love and hope into her clasp.

"Callie, after you and George broke up you had...a sort of ...you ...began a relationship with the new head of Cardio but it didn't quite work out."

Arizona still hesitated and knew that she wasn't doing the best possible job of breaking it to her girlfriend that she was gay. Some indication that the erstwhile head of cardio was a woman would be a help.

"I went out with a Cardio god?" Me? Really?" Callie frowned slightly, though there was a small, playful smile playing around her mouth.

"I can't quite see myself with someone as controlling and intense as a cardio king...especially if they were anything like Preston Burke."

"From what I understand...from what you told me, you weren't really together...not properly a couple ..." And Arizona hesitated some more. And then took a deep breath.

"And she was a cardio queen. Her name was Erica Hahn."

A beat passed and Callie's frown deepened, the playful smile disappeared.

Arizona held her breath for a second, waiting for the explosion.

Callie giggled out loud.

"I divorced George and then became a lesbian. That's sounds just about par for the course. I can't get a damn thing right, can I? How long did that last?" She was still giggling, mirth filling her eyes and brimming over.

Arizona's immediate relief fled.

Without inflection she added, "A few months after that, I came to Seattle, I met you at Joe's...we...we started dating...I ...we fell in love and we've been together for over a year now. More or less." Her words were fast and her tone was low. Arizona kept her eyes fixed on Callie's face and watched as the amusement drained away to leave something else.

Callie was very still; her face carefully blank of the emotion that Arizona knew must be churning within her.

"Excuse me?"

"Calliope, there was no other way for me to tell you this. I know it's a shock but _you're_ my girlfriend." Arizona tried to keep her voice from shaking, tried to keep an even tone, but inside, she knew she was pleading.

_Calliope, please be ok with this._

Callie looked up into the face of the woman she had grown to depend on over that last week and felt a chasm open up inside her.

She dropped her gaze to their joined hands and felt the anger overtake the loss.

She shifted in bed and used it as an excuse to free her hands. Her mind had gone blank. She absolutely could not form a single coherent thought.

Right now, Callie was all instinct, all emotion.

Her instinct was to scream out loud.

_Enough. _

_Enough._

Too many things had changed for her.

Everything had had changed.

In the last 5 days the single constant had been the wonderful friend and comfort that she had found in Arizona Robbins and now, that had changed too.

"I don't know what to say." Callie could hear her voice shake but couldn't tell if it was with anger or hurt.

"Calliope...I know it's a shock, but..." Arizona's voice, familiar, cherished even, suddenly was filled with mystery and shadows and deceit. What else was she hiding?

"You know, I'd really prefer it if you called me Callie, like everyone else." Callie kept her face blank as she looked up into the face of Arizona and correctly read the distress on her face.

Arizona Robbins was her girlfriend and they were in love. What the hell did that mean?

"What the _hell_ do you expect me to say to something like that?" Callie burst out, anger overriding her hurt.

"You've come here every single day in the last week and you didn't think to ...I don't know...give me a heads up about my _major_ frigging change in lifestyle choices?" Callie's nostrils flared and her BP hiked up a notch.

"Calliope...I didn't know how to ..."

"Stop calling me that." Callie snapped, immeasurably irritated by the familiarity implied by Arizona's use of her given name. In a deep recess of her brain, Callie wondered if she was overreacting but the shock of the revelation buried the thought almost before it was formed. Right now, she had lost a friend and gained a lover and what she needed was a friend, someone she could rely on.

"So, tell me, why didn't you tell me about our relationship? You had plenty of time."

Arizona bit her lip and tried to keep calm, not only was Callie totally furious with her, she was also in danger of putting her recovery at risk.

"I know that this is a shock but you have to stay calm." Arizona leaned forward to touch Callie's hand but was cut her core when Callie flinched away.

"There was no easy way of breaking this to you, Callie. I know that you're angry and confused but ... I love you and I'll do whatever is needed to help you through this." Arizona smiled gently, and patted Callie's covered thigh but stood up from the bed, not wanting to crowd her.

Callie looked up at Arizona, the turbulence within her clearly displayed.

"I've been in a coma for 5 days, my husband is dead and I've apparently become a lesbian. I promise you, I'm not going to stay calm." Callie buried her face in her hands.

"You've been my friend these last few days, my lifeline; you were the only person I could rely on...why couldn't you tell me the truth?"

She flung herself heavily back on her pillows, careless of her well-being and Arizona's heart twisted at the emotions that crossed Callie's face.

"Baby, I'm so sorry." Arizona whispered the words softly, not meaning to say them out loud but Callie's face was wiped clear of emotion at the tender words.

"Baby? Are you frigging kidding me? You let me believe that we were simply friends...and now you call me baby?"

"Callie, your BP is getting too high..." Arizona tried to placate her.

"I think it would be a good idea if you left now, Arizona." Callie straightened her covers and looked directly at Arizona. Her voice was polite, distant and it chilled Arizona to her bones.

"Callie..."

"I'd like you to leave." Callie's voice was implacable and her eyes were cold.

Arizona looked like she was going to argue but nodded once and quickly left the room.

* * *

"You do know that you're not being reasonable or even rational now, right?" Mark asked her.

Callie knew Derek would give her hell but she was out of bed, pacing in her room while Mark sat with his feet propped up on her bed.

"You think I care? You really think I care about reasonable or rational, right now? I just wanted one thing, just one lousy crappy thing to remain constant and I thought she was it. You know... is that too much to ask?" Callie took a few steps and furiously wiped away the tears that formed on her eyelashes.

"Well, maybe a little bit, yeah...Torres. You only woke up 2 minutes ago, by your reckoning, you barely know her...how come she's your one constant thing? What am I, chopped liver?" Mark was only partly playing.

He had been a little embarrassed seeing Callie realising that, for her, they'd quite recently spent a night doing the horizontal mambo, but for all that, he'd been relieved that Callie was bonding with Arizona. If he was honest, Mark had even been a little jealous of how close the two women had got over the last week but he had been happy as well thinking that, despite the coma and the memory loss, Callie had somehow remembered her love for Arizona.

Mark closed his eyes for a second in disbelief. He needed his head examined for being a love-struck dumbass. Clearly he'd been spending way too much time with girls.

At Callie's sharp smack to his shoulder, he opened his eyes in a hurry, her irate features at complete odds with the adorable black curls forming around her bandage. He ignored the fact that he found her curls adorable as it was another clear sign that he needed to go out and strap on a pair.

"Shut up, Mark. This really isn't funny."

"Cal, I know it's not funny and I'm not laughing at you but what do you want me to say? This has been incredibly tough on Arizona; she thought you were going to die and when that didn't happen, she had some hope until you woke up and went and lost all your memories."

Callie stopped pacing and turned to stare at him affront replacing the irritation.

"It's not exactly like I lost them on purpose, Mark...jeez."

"Callie, she loves you. And you love her. So ok, you're gay, now...is it so hard to take in?"

"Stop saying that." Callie resumed her pacing, her fist clenched at her sides. "I'm not gay."

Mark opened his mouth and then closed it. He was pretty sure he barely passed his pysch rotation as a med student and he was making no attempt to try offer anything other than a broad shoulder and a friendly face. Callie needed proper therapy and he wasn't to guy to give it. He was the guy who brought the beer.

"You don't have to be anything you don't want to be, Callie. But Arizona, she does love you and she's going to want to take care of you. This thing that you're going through now, this is probably the reason she didn't tell you about your relationship earlier. There was never going to be an easy way to break it to you and you're being unfair to her."

Callie stared at him for a full minute, her lips pursed and unspeaking, hands on hips and menacing despite her Elmo flannel pyjamas and fluffy slippers.

"What?" Mark protested, uncomfortably aware of how strong Callie was.

"You're taking her side?" Callie was hurt.

She had been totally floored by what Arizona had told and had no idea of how to process the news. Basically, everything in her life had just been turned upside down. Arizona had provided some measure of stability since she woke up and Callie felt that she had lost that now. Somehow Callie felt that she had lost something precious but it didn't make sense to feel that way.

The fire drained from her eyes and she climbed into her bed and lay on her back, pulling the blanket up to her chin as if warding off the cold.

"Callie?"

"Get your feet off my bed, Mark." Callie said quietly, avoiding his gaze.

"Callie, come on. Talk to me." Mark obliged but nudged her anyway, trying to elicit a response.

"Mark, I don't know who I am anymore. It's like I've lost one friend today. I know I'm probably making a huge deal over nothing but I don't want to lose you as well." Her voice was small and Mark sighed a little.

"It is a big deal and it's a lot for you to deal with. All I'm saying is that you don't have to do it alone."

He shuffled to his feet and dropped a kiss on her forehead.

"And you really can't get rid of me that easy."

Callie smiled a little, her eyes were shadowed and Mark could see the sheer confusion just under the surface.

"Try to get some rest, kiddo. Things will be better in the morning."

* * *

"_Daddy, you knew about this?_" Callie screeched. Her face had gone completely red and her voice had reached a pitch that Angela Gheorghiu would have been proud of.

It was morning and things weren't better.

Carlos had come in at his customary time in the morning after rounds and, to Callie's undying embarrassment and complete incredulity, had launched into a detailed monologue extolling Arizona virtues.

"You _knew _that I ...was in a relationship with...her... and ...and...you're ok with it? Callie didn't know what to think and she certainly didn't know where to look. She could, very clearly, remember how he'd treated George the first time they'd met. Carlos Torres was a very traditional man. Very traditional. Callie couldn't begin to conceive of how he father was so blasé about her new lifestyle.

Carlos leaned back and sighed.

It would have been so easy to have just taken Callie home with him and things would have gone back to the way they had been. And he had been tempted.

But Carlos knew that Callie was entitled to make her own decisions, whether he agreed with them or not. He didn't like the fact that one of his daughters was gay but he accepted it. He had learned to accept it.

Arizona had come to their hotel room last night and explained that she had told Callie about their relationship and that Callie hadn't taken the news particularly well.

"_Mija_, it was very hard for me at first...and...and ...I wasn't ok with it. Not for a long time." Carlos knew he was being a bit of a coward but their estrangement and his behaviour was something they could deal with at another time.

"So, what changed your mind?" Callie could hear her voice and marvelled at its apparent calmness. Her mind was reeling.

"Arizona did." He replied, simply.

"She's a principled woman. She's honest and kind and she loves you. She would do anything for you and while you lay in that coma, I watched her suffer, every bit as much as your mother, sister and I suffered." Carlos took a breath to calm himself, that Callie had so nearly died was more than enough reason for him to do anything he could to make sure that she was happy and safe.

"You were willing to give us up for her, Callie. You love her; you said that she makes you happy." He leaned over and stroked his confused elder daughter's face.

"That's really all any parent could want, Calliope. For their children to be happy."

* * *

Arizona knew that she needed to get some sleep.

She had been running on empty for the better part of the week and after last night, Arizona had nothing left in her tank.

Callie's reaction had been every bit as bad as she had anticipated.

Actually, it was worse because when Callie was angry, she shouted, ranted and raved. Or she smashed bones into dust. Once she'd thrown a magazine across the room. She had never been so cold and dismissive as she had been last night and it shocked Arizona.

It frightened her.

She had hoped that the easy friendship that they had formed since the night that she had hovered in her darkened doorway would help, but somehow, it had only made matters worse.

The apartment was quiet and empty. Cristina was still at work and would probably spend the night with Owen anyway, so Arizona was alone.

She stood up and wandered about for a moment, still in her scrubs, her mind deliberately blank. She didn't want to dwell on her last conversation with Callie, didn't want to think about what was going to happen next.

She didn't want to think of what would happen if Callie completely rejected her, rejected their life together.

Arizona didn't want to be alone tonight; she needed a distraction and decided to invite Mark over for pizza and a beer or something.

She picked up the phone to call him when a knocking on the door made her swing round, startled. Mark had never once been known to knock and had had, on more than one occasion, gleefully caught either resident couple _in flagrante delicto _untilall concerned learnt to lock the front door or at least keep their activities behind closed bedroom doors.

Arizona opened the door and felt her jaw go slack and the tears well up in her eyes.

"Mom?"

#

Mary Robbins was a practical woman.

She allowed her only daughter, her only child collapse in her arms and rocked her like a baby as a well of tears and grief erupted. Arizona sobbed like her world was coming to an end and Mary soothed her, murmuring quietly and stroking her hair for over an hour.

"Arizona, sweetheart, have you eaten yet?"

They were on the couch in the gloom of the darkened room, Arizona lying with her head in her mother's lap. She had almost cried herself to sleep and though Mary knew that bed was probably the best place for Arizona right now, she also had a strong suspicion that her daughter had been skipping meals. Some hot food and a shower would ensure a solid night's sleep.

Arizona kept her eyes closed and took a deep breath, inhaling her mother's familiar scent. The rhythmic stroking of her hair and her mother's low voice had taken her to a twilight place that existed between sleep and wakefulness, where there was no pain and anguish and doubt. Arizona wanted to stay in that place but knew that it wasn't real.

She sat up and flung her arms around her mother.

"I'm so glad you came...I didn't know how much I needed you until just now." Arizona's felt the tears roll down her face and despite everything laughed a little as her mother wiped the tears away.

"I'm going to be dehydrated after this; I swear the body isn't supposed to hold this much water."

"Is she doing any better?" Mary straightened Arizona's hair and look into her face, noting the exhaustion etched in the premature lines on her face.

Arizona dropped her eyes for a second, preparing for the jolt of pain that came every time she thought of Callie.

"Physically, she's healing but her memories haven't come back at all, she'll need to go into therapy to try and recover them. She'll need to go through a barrage of tests before she can come back to work...that alone will drive her crazy, she adores being in the OR." Arizona sank back and closed her eyes, remembering the countless times she'd observed Callie in the OR, either dancing to loud music as she worked or intense and passionate and in utter silence. Callie loved being an orthopaedic surgeon, loved the feeling of working with bones. An image of Callie pulling off her mask and laughing out loud, with pure unbridled joy, after a long and difficult surgery popped into Arizona's mind and she smiled at the memory.

"Hold that thought." Mary spoke quietly but urgently.

Arizona opened her eyes and looked at her mother, questioning.

"Whatever it was that you were thinking of, hold on to that thought. It took away your pain for few minutes, child."

Arizona bit her lip but nodded, not wanting to say anything else. As much as she had already cried, she knew that she was still so very raw and that anything could set her off.

"Why don't you go have a shower and I'll rustle up dinner, how does that sound?" Mary knew that she needed to provide some distraction and had every intention of taking care of her child the best she knew how.

Arizona stood up and wiped her hands down the sides her trousers, a little shame-faced.

"Umm, I was going to order pizza, there's no food in the fridge."

"Really? What about the casserole?" Mary walked over to the freezer and peered in. She emerged with a bottle of vodka and held it up, inquiringly.

"What casserole? Umm, the vodka's Cristina's Mom." Arizona hoped her mother wouldn't comment on Callie's rum or her bourbon or the various other bottles of hard liquor stashed about the kitchen. She really hoped that she'd hidden her cigarettes.

"Callie made a casserole a few weeks back, don't you remember? We were talking about the merits of freezing it and for how long."

Arizona stood at the breakfast bar and watched as her mother took another look in the freezer.

"Callie is the domestic goddess around here, Mom. I'm just the grateful recipient."

Mary re-emerged with the frozen casserole and began toying with the controls of the oven. She looked up and saw the sadness written all over Arizona's face.

"Child, what is it?"

"I don't know what I will do if she never remembers us. I told her about our relationship last night and she ... she threw me out of her room." Arizona shrugged, her movements dejected.

"I don't even know if she'll ever accept that she's bi...let alone that she loves me, that we have a life together. She was so angry at me, Mom. I've never seen her that way before and I don't know what I'm going to do."

Mary straightened up from the oven and contemplated her daughter.

"Well, right now, you're going to shower and change. Then, you're going to get some decent, home-cooked food inside you and you'll tell me about some of your patients or about Mark or Cristina. I'll tell you about what your father and I have been getting up to and then you're going to get some sleep. That's what you're going to do tonight."

She walked over to her daughter and reached up and took her gently by the shoulders.

"Tomorrow is another day and when it comes you'll take care of whatever happens, when it happens. You've been through something dreadful and so has Callie. It's not easy for either of you but you'd made some progress with her before, you'll make progress with her again. All it takes is time, child. Just be patient."

Arizona took a shuddering breath and rested her face on her shorter mothers shoulder, wrapping her arms around the woman's body.

"How'd you get to be so wise?"

"I'm your mother, child, it's my job."

* * *

"Did you know about this?"

Callie was incensed and it showed.

Arizona shook her head but smiled a little, encouraging despite the impotent fury she could read in Callie's eyes.

Callie was standing in the middle of her room in street clothes, hoping for an early discharge only to be given some unexpected news by her consultant.

"You'll only release me into Arizona Robbins care? Seriously?"

"Callie, seriously, if you don't calm down, I'll keep you in for another week." Derek shot a small sympathetic look in Arizona's direction.

Arizona looked at Derek, partly annoyed, partly amused.

"Derek, not helping."

He chuckled, unrepentant but serious nonetheless.

"Callie, the truth is you're not ready to go home on your own not yet. Apart from your memories, I'm a little worried about your BP."

"OK fine, I'll fly back to Miami with my parents. How's that?" Callie sunk down on her bed and glared at the pair of them, with their pretty blue eyes and perfect smiles.

She was tired and cranky and had a headache.

She wanted her own bed. She really didn't want to go home to Miami because, as much as she loved her family, living with them drove her nuts. Derek had ambushed her with the news that he would only release her to Arizona, who was standing there all pretty and sympathetic and Callie wanted to ...

Callie didn't know what she wanted to do.

She missed seeing Arizona and was angry that she missed her.

She was angry at what Arizona had told her.

Callie was angry at herself for not being able to remember.

"No flying Callie after brain surgery, you know that." Derek looked up from his chart, suddenly anxious.

"You do know that, right?"

"Yes. I know that." Callie replied grumpily. "I've lost my memories, Derek, not my mind."

"OK. Good. So we're in agreement. I'll discharge you in 2 days time on the condition that you go home to Arizona's care and I'll see you on an out-patient basis. Right?"

"Right." Arizona agreed.

They both looked at Callie who was staring at the ceiling.

"Callie? You know it makes sense." Arizona smiled persuasively, trying to ignore the jump of panic that was still making her heart pound when Callie considered going to Miami.

"Fine. Whatever." Callie agreed with poor grace.

"Excellent. I'll see you in a couple of days." Derek beamed and made his way to the door. "Good luck," he added to Arizona, missing the venomous glare that Callie directed at his back.

Arizona leaned against the closed door and stared hungrily at Callie. She was still pale and she had lost some weight since she'd been admitted. The heavy bandages had been removed leaving only the two large plasters that covered where the shunts has been placed. Callie's head was covered in clusters of jet black curls. It was a shocking change from her long hair, but she was stunning and Arizona couldn't take her eyes off her.

She had stayed away for a couple of days, hoping that Callie might be better disposed to seeing her after a short absence but her timing couldn't have been worse. Derek had been unaware of the tension between the two women and had come up with a plan that he thought would be beneficial to Callie's recovery.

He'd been a little off the mark.

"Callie...?"

Arizona waited for some indication that Callie was prepared to even listen to her.

"Calliope...?" That got a response with Callie swinging round and fixing Arizona with a cool stare.

"I believe I asked you not to call me that." Her words were excessively polite and Arizona felt her hackles rise.

"You know what, Callie, I know I dropped a bombshell on you the other night and I know it's got you confused about everything but I'm only trying to help. That's all. Derek sending you home with me was supposed to help."

"Help? Me ... going home with you is _not _helping. You ...telling me...the things you told me... is _not_ helping."

Callie stood up and began to pace up and down the room like a caged animal, restless and not a little dangerous and Arizona started to worry about Callie's blood pressure.

"Me, with no frigging memories, no clue as to who the hell I am? _Not helping_."

"Callie, you keep this up and Shepherd will keep you here for a month." Arizona kept her voice firm, hoping to shock Callie into silence. She was getting into a groove of anger and frustration and it wasn't going to help her in the slightest.

The threat worked and Callie came to halt in front of Arizona, her chest heaving and her eyes flashing with emotion.

"Let me see if I've got this right? OK?"

Callie began ticking points off on her fingers as spoke.

"So, George died on me. 2 years ago. I date women now, or more specifically, I date you now. My ultra conservative father is being supportive of our relationship. We were involved in a spree killing, here. At Seattle Grace. And in one fell swoop Mark frigging Sloan is a grandfather? What else did I miss because I swear to god you're going to have to commit me to pysch if I learn one more thing."

Arizona watched as Callie's shoulders slumped and the anger drained from her face.

"I feel like I'm living in some alternate universe, Arizona. Things are similar but there's not one goddamn thing that's the same. I can't stand this. I don't know how to live ...like this. I don't know what you expect me to do...what you want from me."

Arizona wanted to pull Callie into her arms and hold her tight. She wanted to promise her that everything would get better. She wanted to stroke her poor shaven head and kiss her mouth.

But she did none of those things.

Arizona pushed her hands into her pockets to hide their tremble and she looked into Callie's troubled face.

"Callie, forget about the past for now. Just think about here and now, think about the present. Think about getting better." Callie raised an eyebrow and Arizona smiled a little at the gesture. This was Callie being sceptical.

"I'm not kidding, Cal, just concentrate on getting better. Don't worry about the rest. Don't worry about being gay or straight or something in between. It's not that important, not right now." Callie dropped her gaze and Arizona tilted her head, refusing to let her look away.

"And Callie, I'm the woman you made friends with nearly 2 weeks week ago. I'm still that person and even if you can't remember the rest, that's fine too. You don't need to worry about that. Just concentrate on getting better. That's all I want from you."

Callie stared into the eyes of the woman that had literally turned her world upside down. She wanted to hate her, she wanted to storm out and not look back. But she couldn't. She needed help.

She needed her friend.

She chewed her lip and sighed.

"So, looks like you'll be taking me home soon, huh?"

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

**12**

* * *

Callie knew that she was going to drive herself completely crazy but she couldn't help it.

She sat, fully clothed, on the edge of her bed and stared, fixated at the clock on the wall.

It was 07:02 and Derek Shepherd was discharging her today.

At some point.

After rounds.

Callie knew that the likelihood of getting out of the hospital before lunch was a long shot but she could live in hope, right?

Hope was pretty much all she had right now.

Hope that her memories would come back.

Hope that the nightmares would go away.

Callie had never considered herself to be a self-pitying type of woman and she had no intention of becoming one now. But she was finding things hard to grasp all of the apparent changes that had happened in her life in such a short space of time.

How could George not be here anymore? How was it possible that sweet, kind gentle George was dead? Callie didn't care that he'd cheated on her, didn't care that he'd tried and failed to have a relationship with Izzie Stevens. None of those things mattered and she would have gladly gone through the anguish of acknowledging the mistakes she made with him just to have him alive and well. She's called his mother yesterday and she'd cried at his mother's heartbroken sobs.

If that wasn't bad enough, last night she'd been forced to ask for a scrip for something to help her sleep.

Right now, Callie felt that her whole life was stuck in a very bad episode of the Twilight Zone.

"Hey. How are you?"

Callie was brought out of her introspection by a quiet voice at the door.

"I...I didn't want to disturb you but I heard that you were being discharged today and I really wanted to see you before I left ..."

Callie raised her eyebrows and fixed a smile at the beautiful stranger at the door.

"Hey. How are you? I've got no frigging clue who you are but it's nice of you to drop by."

"I know. I'm sorry...

Callie sighed.

"No. _I'm _sorry. That was rude of me."

"Callie, it's ok. Really. I can't begin to imagine how tough this must be for you. I just wanted to pop my head in. I'm Liz Bennett."

Callie considered the tiny woman who stood just inside the door. She hadn't been lying; she had no clue who the woman was. Which she found kind of strange, the woman had the most unusual eyes, surely she would have remembered something like that. A recent memory was jogged.

"You sent flowers. Thank you."

Liz smiled and took a few steps into the room.

"We're colleagues more than anything else, I'm an anaesthetist and I've worked in your OR quite a number of times in the last couple of months. I'm...I'm really glad that you're getting better, Callie." Liz smiled gently.

Callie nodded, lots of people had come to see her, some old friends that she loved and remembered and a handful of new faces. It had been awkward almost every time but this Liz Bennett was relaxed and seemed unconcerned that Callie didn't know who she was.

"Anyway, I'm headed to Miami for a hospital teaching exchange and I wanted to see you before I left."

"You're going to Miami? That's my town, which hospital?" Callie perked up, her eyes brightening up.

"Mount Sinai. It's a pain since I've only just got to Seattle but I've never been to Florida, so I'm looking forward to some sunshine."

"You like Cuban food? You've got to check out Las Culebrinas they do some wonderful dishes. Or Isla Canarias ...or if you like sea food you've got to go to Bayside Hut. They're awesome."

"You sound like you miss home." Liz tilted her head and observed Calliope Torres, wondering what the hell she was doing coming here. Callie looked unbearable cute with her baby curls and she had the most perfectly formed skull. Despite everything she had been through, she could still stop traffic...Liz stopped her thoughts going any further. She wasn't completely unprincipled and trying to befriend Callie under the circumstances was...duplicitous .

"I'm a little lost right now, what with the 2 year gap in my memories and talking about Miami is nice. Miami is familiar; it's something I remember ...you know?" Callie looked up and caught the thoughtful expression on the other woman's face.

"It's just nice to have a conversation with someone and not worry that there's a big portion of the picture that I'm missing."

Liz felt the guilt kick in, good and proper.

"Well, I have to be heading off. I really do wish you the best..." She debated whether she could get away with giving Callie a hug or a kiss but figured that she was getting into really murky waters right now.

Callie smiled a little, for a few minutes she had forgotten about the gap in her memory and had a simple amusing conversation with an entertaining companion. It almost felt like the first few days after Arizona started dropping by. Now, each time she saw the blonde they seemed to spend all their time ignoring the elephant in the room. It was exhausting.

"Thanks for coming. You really cheered me up." Callie was sincere.

"It was really... really good to see you, Callie." Liz smiled.

_Jesus, you're so beautiful._

Liz Bennett looked like she wanted to say something but apparently changed her mind and looked away.

"Did you...did you want to see Arizona as well...? I'll ...ummm ...tell her you came by." Callie said uncomfortably. She knew full well that everyone would already know that she was in a relationship with the paediatric surgeon.

"Oh, I wouldn't bother. She doesn't really like me all that much." Liz forced a stiff smile, not really finding her predicament funny.

That statement stopped Callie.

And then she laughed.

She couldn't imagine Arizona not liking everyone she came into contact with. She was so frigging full of sunshine, Callie could easily see her being happy and smiling while being audited or during a pelvic exam.

Liz saw her expression and started laughing as well, this time an amused chuckle.

"No. Really. I'm not in her good books."

"What on earth did you do?" Callie was intrigued, scrambling in her head for a reason that make Arizona dislike the elfin little red-head.

"Did you screw up one of her surgeries?"

"I've never had the pleasure." At Callie's stare she quickly corrected herself, giggling a little.

"Of being in on any of her surgeries...not screwing them up."

"OK. So...?"

But Liz was backing out of the room, amusement making her green eyes shine.

"It's kind of silly and kind of personal. Don't worry about it. You take care of yourself, Calliope Torres."

With a small wave of her hand, Liz disappeared leaving a slightly baffled and amused Callie.

**#**

"You know, we can keep her here for a few more days, if you want." Derek said cautiously. He knew what Arizona's response was likely to be but his concern was more for his patient than his patient's girlfriend. He wanted to be sure she was ready.

Arizona shook her head vehemently as she looked over the list of medications she needed to pick up from the pharmacy before she went to collect Callie.

"The last 3 weeks have been rough, I want to be sure that you're able to cope, Arizona."

She looked up at him and smiled.

"I know I probably look like hell but I've had some rest and some time to reflect. My mother's been with me for a few days and it's been good." Her smile faded slightly.

"It has been rough, not just on me but on everyone especially Callie. Getting her home, amongst familiar things will help. She hates being here and it just makes her antsy."

"Antsy? I guess that's a polite term for it." Derek grinned, remembering Callie's fury.

He cocked his head as he considered Arizona.

She _did _look a lot better than earlier in the week, her eyes were brighter and her skin looked revived and healthy.

"I've taken 2 weeks to stay with her and depending on how she gets on, we'll review the arrangements then. I'll bring her to all her appointments and tests and make sure she keeps up with Wyatt. It'll be ok." She nodded her head, confident and resolute.

"OK. Right. Now, you've read the literature, Arizona. You need to be prepared for mood swings, depression, anger even aggression. Her personality might change, it might not but we have no way of knowing what to expect . Just make a note of everything, get her to make a note of any memories that do come back and we'll keep re-assessing." Derek closed her chart and leaned back, looking at Arizona's face. She was worried, he could tell by the lines on her face but she squared her shoulders, she wasn't fazed by what was coming next.

"Are you going to be ok, are you going to be able to manage?"

Arizona looked at Derek and smiled grimly.

"Wyatt is going to play a big part in Callie's recovery but I will do everything in my being to help Callie get better. I don't care what it takes, I want her to get better." She looked down at the lists and leaflets in her hand and then looked back up at the concern in his face; there was a steely determination in her blue eyes.

"The alternative ...it's just not an option for us. Callie will get better."

**#**

"I heard that Shepherd was discharging you today and I wanted to drop by."

Webber looked over Callie Torres and nodded approvingly. All things considered, she was doing remarkably well. True, her memories still hadn't come back but that would, hopefully, resolve itself soon.

"Oh, hey Chief," Callie looked up from her chart and smiled at her boss. The smile faded slightly as a thought occurred to her.

"You _are _still the Chief, right?" She rubbed her hand over her head and grimaced slightly.

"I can't keep up with all the changes and the merger and everything..."

"Yes, I am still the Chief of Surgery." Webber confirmed, smiling at her confusion. Richard Webber liked to be accurate, he didn't like prevarication or half-truths so he decided to clarify the case for Callie.

"Well...I am the chief now...I was before, obviously and then I stepped down... resigned ...for a while, well and then I was interim..." Richard stopped at the look of sheer bewilderment that passed over Callie's face at his explanation.

"Yes. I am the Chief." They both smiled in relief.

"And I don't want you to worry about your job. Your post as an attending will be kept open."

"Thanks, Chief. I'm glad to hear it." Callie was grateful that she had a job to come back to when she was cleared to return to work. It seemed she may have won back the Chief's respect after her short-lived stint as Chief Resident.

"I know I wasn't really up to the job of Chief Resident but..."

Webber waved a dismissive hand.

"Ah, that was years ago, Torres; you've grown as a person and as a doctor since then. It wasn't your medical skills that were lacking just your administrative ones and you've improved beyond recognition since then. I've been very impressed with you since you became an attending. I should have promoted you sooner."

Callie grinned at him.

"Well, Sir, when you're right, you're right. You _know_ I'm a rock star with a scalpel."

"Indeed you are, Torres." Richard smiled at her. "Well, best of luck with your recovery and we really do hope to see you back here soon."

"Thanks Chief."

He chuckled as he started to leave the room and then stopped and looked back at Torres, her words bringing back an uncomfortable memory for him.

"I'm a rock star with a scalpel..." Callie was frowning, slightly, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose as a fleeting image of her striding along the walkway, shouting out loud, filled her brain.

"Do you know what you just said...?" Webber asked, a smiling forming on his face despite the memory.

"Damn, Chief."

A burst of relieved joy bubbled up from the depths of her being and Callie laughed out loud.

"That's my first memory to come back to me."

**#**

Callie chewed her lip and examined her fingernails.

To pass the time she'd painted them dark purple and was now fascinated by the varnish.

It was better than having to engage with Dr Wyatt who had dropped by for an impromptu meeting. Callie was an adult and a professional. She was an intelligent woman. Most of the time. That being said, the idea of seeing a shrink was still slightly unsettling for her.

She looked up suddenly, a thought occurring to her.

"Do you think my sudden interest in woman is just a phase?"

Dr Wyatt, who had been running through the basics of her sessions and how she hoped to help Callie, stopped talking, mid-sentence.

Though she had seen Arizona on a one-off basis, she'd had to decline any other possible contact. Arizona hadn't asked for more sessions but unless they came to see her as a couple, it would have been a clear conflict of interest.

However, Arizona's single visit did give Wyatt some insight into the issues that Callie Torres would be facing.

At her silence, Callie tried to clarify.

"You know, like a rebellion or a knee-jerk reaction to a bad relationship...? It is possible, isn't?"

"Callie this isn't a proper setting for a full session," Wyatt could clearly see where Callie wanted to go but wasn't going to help her draw hasty conclusions about anything.

"But it's possible, this isn't...you know...me. Not really. Right?" Callie asked hopefully.

"Callie, I'm not going to tell you the things you want to hear. We're going to have to work through what's going on with your subconscious, why your memories are blocked and take that as our primary focus."

She watched as Callie rolled her eyes a little.

"It's going to take time and effort Callie, we can't fast forward to the good part, I'm afraid."

Callie rolled her eyes some more.

"Yes, Dr Wyatt. I know...I'm just...anxious about everything. I'm going home with her today...I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Callie, she taking you to your home. To be with things and people that are familiar. These are the first steps that will help you regain your memories ..."

"Oh, I did get a memory today though...well sort of...I remember yelling at the Chief." Callie beamed with pride.

"I somehow feel that yelling at the Chief would be an event difficult to forget." Wyatt commented drily.

"But that's good, right...? It's a good sign?" Callie was eager for reassurance that she was making progress.

"It's a good sign, Callie." Wyatt smiled.

**#**

"Oh. So you've got your own place? You don't actually live here?"

Arizona kept her eyes down as she sorted out bed linen. She couldn't help but hear the relief in Callie's voice and tried not to be hurt by the implication.

"I've still got my own apartment...I hadn't got round to giving up the lease..." Arizona opened her mouth to tell Callie about their apartment, recently purchased but changed her mind at the last minute. There was no point in putting more stress on Callie right now. She was obviously still having a hard time dealing with her new found sexuality and Arizona knew that there was nothing to be gained by putting more pressure on her about their relationship.

At least not right now.

Callie needed to get used to the idea at least.

Instinctively, Callie went to her side of the bed closest to the door and sat down, twiddling her thumbs.

Her back was stiffly upright and Arizona noted that she wasn't making eye contact.

"So... you'll be sleeping ...here?"

"Calliope, I'll be sleeping on the couch. I'm not completely insensitive." Arizona replied shortly, irritated at the question.

She took a deep breath and offered a small conciliatory smile at Callie.

"Look, we're both nervous, we've both been through hell this last month. I know this relationship is difficult for you to take in right now but I don't want you worry about that. We'll talk about us, when you're ready to talk about us. For now, just try to get comfortable. Try to relax."

Eyes slightly wide, Callie nodded quickly and looked around the bedroom. She liked the purple and blue colour scheme, the dark oak furniture and was about to get up and examine the pile of CD's on the chest of draws when she realised that Arizona was still standing in the doorway, staring at her.

"What...what is it?"

Arizona, with a nod of her head, indicated the bed that Callie was sitting on.

"Well, even though you'll have the bed to yourself, it's good to see you remembered which side you sleep on."

Callie nodded absently, still looking round. She stood up and swung round so suddenly that Arizona thought that something was wrong.

"I...I didn't think...I mean the reason I asked where you'd be sleeping wasn't because...well, it was but...but..." She trailed off and sank back down on the bed, flopping back and closing her eyes.

Arizona quickly moved round the bed and sat down beside her, longing to touch her skin but knowing that she couldn't.

"Callie, tell me what's wrong...please, let me help." She kept her voice gentle and soothing.

"It's fine. It's fine." Callie stated firmly. But she didn't move, didn't open her eyes.

Arizona stared at Callie and decided to give her a little space to herself. _She _knew that Callie needed her to recover. But Callie was stubborn at the best of times and right now was resistant to the idea of Arizona in her life.

In any capacity.

Arizona just needed to let Callie come to the same conclusion she had.

They needed each other.

"So, I'm going to let you get settled, OK?" Arizona moved away from the silent woman. Callie didn't respond.

"It might be an idea to make a note of the fact that you remembered which side of the bed you sleep on, right?"

"I don't think anyone's going to be particularly bothered about that, Arizona. They're not going to hold the front page for that." Callie's words were hard and Arizona blinked.

"I know it seems like a pretty insignificant thing, babes, but its progress."

Callie sat up and began unpacking her bag.

"Could you not call me babes or baby or whatever?" she didn't look up from her unpacking and Arizona couldn't read her expression.

"Right. I'll get us something to eat. Come through whenever you're ready."

Arizona kept her hurt in check. They had a long way to go and she was going to have to learn to deal with a confused and angry Callie.

It wouldn't be forever.

**#**

Arizona was sitting in the lounge working on a paper that she had neglected over the last month but most of her attention was on Callie, who was wandering around the apartment, exploring her 'new' home. The first couple of days had been a little rocky, with Callie being polite and distant and Arizona trying hard not to shower her with love and affection. Callie had spent hours on the phone and had spoken to her family who had finally returned to Miami and Addison and it had pretty much been the only time she'd seen Callie relaxed or unguarded.

She had spent a few hours that evening going through the exercises that Shepherd and Wyatt had set her and had been focused on working her way through the pages and though she hadn't commented on her progress, Arizona felt that Callie had been pleased with her results so far.

She had persuaded Callie to join her for a short stroll in the park and though Callie had been pretty quiet for most of their walk Arizona had thought that the fresh air and the opportunity of getting out for a would cheer her up and she had been rewarded with a small smile of thanks that Callie shot her as they returned.

But now she was bored.

"I was thinking that I might go to the gym tomorrow, I must have put on 10 pounds sitting in that hospital bed."

Arizona looked up and smiled. Callie had been angling to get to the gym even before she'd been discharged.

"Gentle yoga only, Callie. Nothing too strenuous for a couple of weeks, you know that." She hesitated for second, not wanting to be too personal, "And besides you look great."

Callie shot her a look.

"So, you like heavy girls, huh? I wouldn't have pegged you for the type."

"OK." Arizona decided not to bite.

"Well, you're really slender, I'd have thought that you'd have preferred to go out with someone who looked more like...you know...you."

"Cal, I'm athletic and you're averagely built, medium perhaps but no one would describe you as heavy. OK, so you don't look like the models in the magazines; that's never bothered you before." Arizona was a little nettled at Callie summation of her.

"As for my type, Callie...you're my type." She wanted to say more. Arizona wanted to say that she loved every inch of Callie's body, that her curves, her full-bodied figure made Arizona's mouth water. But she didn't, she swallowed her words and went back to her research paper.

It wasn't the first time that Callie had been either dismissive or insensitive and Arizona understood that it was a form of defence mechanism but it was taking its toll on her.

_Patience. Patience. Patience._

Arizona reminded herself.

"So, how did we meet?" Callie asked, her eyes determinedly focused on anything but Arizona.

"Ummm, you were crying into your beer at Joe's and I gave you a kiss to cheer you up." Arizona wasn't quite sure why she was being flippant about it but Callie was making her nervous. It was as if she was trying to find fault with their relationship and it wasn't the place or time to argue all the reasons why they should be together.

But Callie decided not to pursue that line of interrogation and began strolling about the lounge.

"Does my hair like this make me look more gay? You know, lots of butch girls seem to have shaven heads, right?" Callie ran her hands over her head.

Arizona shot a look in Callie's direction but went back to her laptop, ignoring the comment.

"So, are we both femme or are you butch, because I always loved dressing up. I can't imagine that I'd have given that up." Callie gave Arizona a long, appraising stare, her eyes travelling the length of Arizona's form.

"You don't look butch at all, though. You've got long hair, you wear a little make up, jewellery." Callie pursed her lips as she stared at Arizona. "In fact you're actually really feminine. Out of scrubs."

"Callie, quit trying to annoy me. You know damn well that lesbians come in all shapes, sizes and types. You grew up in Miami, not Bumbleschmuck, Wichita." Arizona kept on typing her notes and tried not to get riled.

Callie pouted and wandered over to the book shelf and examined the books and DVD's, picking up a novel and flicking through the pages.

"What was the sex like?"

"What?" The exasperation in Arizona's voice didn't deter Callie.

"What was our sex life like? I'm kind of interested."

"No. You're kind of bored." Arizona took a look at Callie, trying to assess her mood. "Cal, there's no way I'm discussing our sex life with you right now."

"Why not, presumably I was there, right? As a willing participant? I've got a right to know ...what we did, how we did it...you know...the mechanics of it." Callie grinned at Arizona who thought she could detect the faintest hint of malice in Callie's mocking tone.

Derek had warned her that Callie might have mood swings and personality changes and she had read studies of people who had suffered serious brain trauma and had become totally different people.

She took a breath and kept calm. A single evening of Callie being a bitch didn't mean that her personality had changed. Arizona just had to ride this one out.

"Right now, Callie you're being obnoxious and an ass. If you're really that interested in what it's like to have sex with me, we can hop into bed right now." She put on a deep and sultry Southern drawl. "I promise, I'll show you a real good time, honey."

Callie opened her mouth at the challenge and then closed it with a snap, dropping her eyes.

"No? Alright then. Shut up, I'm trying to work."

Arizona resumed her typing for a few minutes, wondering if Callie was going to settle down.

"Did we use strap on's?" she asked after a few minutes silence.

"What is _with_ you tonight?" Arizona slammed her laptop shut and hoped that she hadn't just broken it.

Callie started to respond but Arizona waved her hand to stop her.

"You know what, it doesn't matter. Just sit over there and shut up. I'm going to check your vitals."

Callie's eyes opened wide. It wasn't a big deal exactly but it reminded her that she could be re-admitted to hospital at any time on Arizona's say so. She cautiously sat on the edge of the sofa and watched Arizona's face.

"Oh come on. I'm fine. I'm just..."

"Save it." Arizona checked her blood pressure which was a little high and then checked her temperature, thrusting the thermometer into Callie's mouth.

"I'm fine," she mumbled around the thermometer.

Arizona ignored her and put her stethoscope in her ears to listen to Callie's heart. Arizona briskly opened Callie's top buttons and placed the cold disc against Callie's ribs, chest and back.

"This is not necessary," Callie muttered, annoyed.

"You can be moody and irritable and there's no question that you have a mouth on you, Callie but you're never this unpleasant." Arizona straightened up and gave Callie a long look.

"I need to determine if you acting like a little bitch is a symptom of something else." She placed a finger in front of Callie's face to do a visual test.

"Alright...alright. I'm...just..."

"You're ... what? Tell me, please ..." Arizona put her hands on her hips and stared at Callie trying to determine what had brought on her foul mood.

"You lost your memories, Callie, you didn't have a full frontal lobotomy. You know how to behave."

Callie's eyes glittered at her, a jumble of emotions clearly visible in the darkness of her eyes.

She indicated the blood pressure cuff, raising her arm and beginning to remove it.

"You done?" Callie ignored Arizona's glare.

"Look, if you're bored or lonely or frightened you could try talking to me. Like an adult not a brainless adolescent." Arizona put away her equipment noting Callie mutinous expression. "And if you'd rather not, how about going to the bedroom over there and giving yourself a treat? The endorphins might put you in a better mood."

She closed her medical bag with a snap and walked to the door. "I'm going across the hall. I'll be back in a while." Without waiting for a response Arizona closed the door behind her, resisting the urge to slam it shut.

Banging on Mark's door she gritted her teeth and resumed her count to 10. She'd been doing it all night.

"Hey Robbins, how's it going?"

"I need a scotch."

Mark raised his eyebrows as she stormed passed him.

"That bad...really?" He poured two fingers and watched as she shot the drink down.

"Another?"

Arizona shook her head and leaned against his breakfast bar.

"You know... she's never going to get her memories back because, very soon, I am going to wring her pretty neck."

"Breath...deeply." Mark advised, smiling a little as Arizona took his suggestion. "What happened?"

She ran her hands through her hair and sighed, feeling a lot calmer as the alcohol sped through her system.

"Nothing much. She just spent the evening baiting me about lesbians and stuff."

"So what did you do?"

_I told her to go fuck herself._

Arizona gave Mark a look. She wasn't telling him that.

She shrugged and loosened up her shoulders.

"Arizona, she's home. It's only been a few days. Give her time to settle down and get used to you. The rest will get better, I'm sure." Mark smiled at Arizona, sympathetic.

"That's the problem; she doesn't want to get used to me...to us. She's picking holes in our relationship. Trying to make it less than it was." Arizona drew in a deep breath.

"You know what, it'll be ok ...it'll be ok. I've just got to have patience with her, right?"

"One step at a time." Mark advised, patting her on the shoulder.

"One step at a time." Arizona agreed.

...

Arizona re-entered the apartment cautiously and found Callie sprawled on the couch reading.

"You ok?" Arizona called out, her tone far more conciliatory now than it had been earlier.

"I'm fine." Callie snapped without looking up.

Arizona pulled a face and silently mimicked Callie's brusque response as she opened the fridge for a bottle of water. She was about to ask if Callie wanted anything when she noticed that Callie was dozing on the couch. Book still in hand, her head slumped sideways a couple of inches before she jerked herself awake back awake.

"Cal, you look tired, why don't you go to bed."

"I'm fine." Callie flipped a page and didn't look up.

"Calliope Torres. You need your rest. Go to bed." This time Arizona was brooking no dissent.

"Yes Ma'am." Callie said sarcastically as she stood up and walked towards the bedroom.

At the door she hovered for a moment and then half-turned back and shot Arizona an almost wistful gaze.

"Cal, what do you need? What can I get for you?" Arizona knew that the most she could was ask.

"See you tomorrow." Was all Callie said as she turned away and closed the door.

**#**

Callie sat on the edge of the bed in her pyjamas and stared the dim light coming from the night shade. She sat there for long minutes, trying to empty her mind of all thoughts, of the stresses of the day and concentrated on her breathing.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

She eventually climbed into bed and pulled the quilt up to her chin. The light was still on and Callie rolled over to turn the light off, but turned it back on almost immediately.

She closed her eyes and breathed, deeply, slowly; trying to remember her yoga techniques.

Her day had been long and the evening had been more stressful than usual. She knew it was her fault that the evening had been filled with tension but Callie couldn't think about that right now. She was tired and knew that it wouldn't take too much for her to fall asleep.

She did what she had been doing ever since she was discharged from hospital and conjured up an image of the Arizona she had first met, a few short weeks ago. This Arizona was kind and funny and gentle, much like the Arizona in the other room but with a significant difference. This Arizona didn't fill her head with talk about a relationship; this Arizona didn't fill her with confusion but simply held her hand or stroked her skull and talked to her until she fell asleep. Her voice was soothing and calm, melodic. It was the voice of an angel and Callie missed her so much.

The edges of her consciousness were gradually eaten away by exhaustion and as Callie fell into a deep sleep, the final image in her head was of Arizona.

...

_The angel spoke softly, calmly and guided Callie through the dark watery maze to a place of safety and peace. She soothed her, showered her with a sense of joy and well-being; she would soon be home, she would soon be safe, happy and well. Callie wanted to laugh out loud. She wanted to take the angel up in her arms and swing her round and round until they were both giddy. Callie reached out to touch the angel and the sensation of being home dissipated rapidly. _

_A darkness descended and Callie shivered as the warmth went away and was replaced by a bitter chill._

_The water was deep and cold and Callie felt the light, the brightness receding as she sank further and further away from the voice that kept her safe. Callie knew how to swim but her arms and legs seemed to be bound tight, she couldn't move. She tried to get free but the more she struggled, the tighter the binds got... She opened her mouth to call out for help but the words wouldn't come, her throat was choked full of weeds; long, thin wavy strands of vegetation that filled her throat and trailed out of her mouth. The strands brushed across her face like a deathly caress snaking into her eyes and nostrils and ears, cutting off all sensation, taking away all sense of life and Callie felt her chest tighten with fear. _

_She couldn't see, the darkness was now so complete that every hint of brightness, of light, every hint of hope had vanished in the gloom. Callie knew that she couldn't allow herself to sink away from the voice, she couldn't allow herself to lose her angel and so she struggled against the binds, she tried to scream, she tried to break free ..._

**#**

Arizona was crumpled on the couch, her head flung back and her eyes closed.

The day hadn't been too bad, Callie was generally stilted and distant but it hadn't been a bad day but for reasons that she couldn't decipher, Callie's mood had got progressively worse the longer the evening got. Apart from her, still too high, blood pressure and residual effects of the fungal infection Callie was well on her way to a full physical recovery. Arizona just wished she had a better insight into the current workings of Callie's mind. She knew that it was going to take time for Callie to learn to trust her, let alone anything else but she really could do with something, anything to indicate that things would get better.

Cristina had offered to stay with Owen for a few weeks to give Callie and Arizona some privacy and though she could have borrowed Cristina's bed for the duration, Arizona preferred to sleep in the lounge.

Deciding that an early night would be beneficial, Arizona stood up, looked around and cursed.

She'd forgotten to retrieve her bed linen and night things from their room before sending Callie to bed and now she had the option of borrowing something from Cristina's or running the risk of disturbing Callie's sleep.

Arizona headed to Cristina's room and had the door half way open but turned around and went to the room that she had shared with Callie for the better part of a year.

Hoping that the light from the lounge wouldn't wake her, Arizona slowly opened the bedroom door.

She was surprised to find a lamp on and her eyes were automatically drawn to Callie who was lying on her back, very still, fast asleep.

Arizona gritted her teeth and willed away the image of Callie in a coma, her head bound and tubes protruding everywhere.

Aware of the impropriety of her situation and not wanting to be caught staring, Arizona quickly changed, gathered her things together and started to make her way out, taking one last look at Callie before quietly exiting the bedroom.

As she made up her bed on the couch, Arizona's mind was filled with images of Callie lying still in bed, the covers drawn up to her chin, her arms by her side. It was almost the exact pose that she had while in her coma and it frankly frightened Arizona to see Callie that way again.

Callie could be a restless sleeper; she tossed about, flung her arms and legs every which way. She snored sometimes and had frequently rolled on top of Arizona in her sleep. She kicked the bed covers off or tussled with Arizona for them and performed enough sleep aerobics for Arizona to suggest a sleep clinic on more than one occasion.

She had never seen Callie lie in bed so ...sedately. It almost seemed wrong. Arizona stood up and made her way quickly to the bedroom, this time, not questioning her instincts.

She walked over to Callie's side of the bed and perched on the side, observing her for a moment; she wasn't overtly in any distress but her forehead was beaded with sweat and her breathing was shallow and rapid.

Keeping her voice gentle, she placed her hand on Callie's shoulder and, very gently, shook her.

"Callie, you need to wake up."

Immediately Callie's eyes snapped open but Arizona could tell that she was still unconscious, her pupils wide and unfocused.

Her brow was pulled together forming a deep furrow, her mouth moving soundlessly and Arizona felt tears spring to her eyes at the blankness, the oblivion reflected in Callie's darkened gaze.

"Sweetheart, please wake up." Arizona pleaded as leaned over her, stroking Callie's forehead, running the palm of her hand over her damp scalp.

Callie half lurched upwards, her eyes wide and panicked and her hands clutching at her throat as she gasped for air.

Shocked, Arizona dragged Callie into her arms, dismayed by the tremors wracking Callie's frame. She was drenched in sweat and as Arizona rocked her, she could feel Callie's heart thunder in her chest.

"Callie sweetheart, for god's sake tell me what's wrong?"

Callie's body was rigid but at the sound of Arizona's voice she collapsed in her arms and buried her face in the fall of blonde hair, wrapping her arms tightly around Arizona, her fingers clutching at Arizona's top. .

She dragged breath into her lungs as if she'd been deprived of oxygen and her body still shook as the remnants of her nightmare clung to her.

"Calliope, sweetheart, it was a dream, it's not real. You're ok, baby, I promise you, you're ok." Arizona soothed as she continued to rock Callie in her arms. She could feel Callie's silent tears seep into her shirt and tried to hold back her own tears at Callie's pain.

She cursed herself for not remembering her first conversation with Callie after she woke from her coma. Arizona hadn't realised that Callie was still suffering from her nightmares and was saddened that she hadn't asked her for help.

Arizona continued to murmur softly to Callie and as her stroked Callie's back rhythmically, feeling her heart beat gradually return to normal and the grip that Callie had around loosened a little.

Arizona pulled back a little and grabbed a tissue from the nightstand. Cupping her cheek, Arizona wiped Callie's eyes and held the tissue so she could blow her nose. Callie complied without comment. Her eyes were puffy and shadowed but she didn't avoid Arizona's gaze. She was muted and still a little numb but her hands still gripped Arizona's waist.

"I'm going get into bed and I'm going to lie down beside you. I'll be here for as long as you need me, ok?"

Callie nodded once and lay down, watching as Arizona moved round the bed and climbed in. She was a little tentative but the minute she lay her head against the pillow she felt Callie roll over to face her, grasping at her hand.

"Please...please talk to me, for little while..." Callie's voice was husky and raw and Arizona felt her heart turn over.

"So... Mark has got an idea of how to win Lexie back. He decided to run it by me because he was convinced that you'd talk him out of it..." Arizona began to talk lightly about their friends for a while but realised that Callie was still awake. She rolled over on her side to face her and smiled gently at the dark eyes that were staring at her as she spoke.

Unable to help herself, Arizona lifted a hand and stroked Callie's soft cheek, heartened when she didn't flinch away.

"Can I get you anything?"

Callie shook her head.

"You need to sleep, would you prefer it if I left?"

Callie clutched at her arm, momentary panic flashing in her dark eyes.

"Stay...just stay. I'll go to sleep." She promised, child-like and immediately closed her eyes.

Arizona decided to keep talking, her voice low and soothing and gradually felt Callie's hand loosen and her breathing deepened as she eventually slept.

Arizona closed her eyes against the dim lamp and fell asleep herself to the sound of Callie's breathing.

**#**

Whatever hopes Arizona might have had for the morning evaporated when she woke to find Callie's side of the bed empty and cold.

She lay still for a moment and wondered where they'd go from here, whether Callie would be willing to share her bed with her, but decided that she'd cross that bridge when she got to it.

Pulling on her robe, Arizona padded barefoot the lounge and found Callie in the kitchen preparing a full breakfast.

"Hey," Arizona greeted her quietly.

"Oh...hey." Callie responded, her eyes dropping at once from Arizona's questioning gaze.

"I...I cooked breakfast but I don't know what you like, so..." She poured a cup of coffee and pushed it towards Arizona and began loading a plate with scrambled eggs and crispy bacon.

Arizona looked at the food and sat down staring at Callie's averted face.

Sighing she took a sip of the coffee; it was hot, strong with a little cream, exactly the way she liked it on a lazy weekend morning.

"Do you...do you want to talk about last night?" she asked carefully.

"No...no. " Callie responded quickly, decisively. "I don't want to talk about my nights or...or..." She looked up at Arizona, almost fiercely.

"You want some toast with that?"

**#**

"I never thought of myself as being an experimenter ... you know...bi-curious or whatever. I never thought that I'd ever be with a woman and yet, here I am a fully fledged lesbian with 2 ... relationships...partners ... whatever behind me."

"How does that make you feel?" Wyatt was leaning back, notebook open on her lap but her hands were still, the pen at rest.

"To be honest, it makes me feel pretty weird...I've never been homophobic or anything but, if I was to give it any thought, I'd have said that women weren't for me."

Callie folded her arms across her chest. She knew she felt defensive and had no reason to. So, she wasn't into chicks, it wasn't a crime. She turned to gaze into the small bubbling aquarium, the colourful fish swimming serenely, oblivious to their captivity. It was her first full session with the resident shrink and she was finding it difficult to try and be self-reflective out loud.

"Ok, so what do you want to do about it? You _are_ in a relationship with another woman..."

"Here's the thing, how can I be _in_ a relationship with someone I don't even know? It's ...I don't know how to...how to explain it."

Callie did know how to explain it but felt that she was being cruel.

"Sessions are confidential, Callie, you know that." Wyatt correctly interpreted Callie's hesitation.

"She seems nice and everything..." Callie sighed. "In fact, she wonderful but that much love pouring out of her...for me? It's a little bit scary. A little bit too much. I can't imagine what I could have done to deserve that level of devotion from ...from anyone, let alone this beautiful, accomplished surgeon. It's all just really messed up."

Wyatt opened her mouth but Callie put up her hand to stop her.

"Yes. I am aware that she was by my side for the better part of a month, holding my hand and crying because she thought that I was going to die. I get that." Callie scrubbed her hands through her short hair. She still couldn't quite get used to the short babyish curls and again considered getting a wig. She looked up at Wyatt and thought that she could see the disapproval radiating from the woman.

"And yes. I also get that I sound like the most ungrateful bitch in the world, you don't need to add that."

"You're projecting, Callie." Wyatt stated mildly. "What I was going to point out is that a little compassion right now wouldn't be amiss."

Callie leaned back against the sofa, her finger playing with the scar behind her left ear.

"Why do you think that it's messed up that Arizona loves you?"

Callie looked up, surprised at the question.

"Why do you think that you're undeserving of her love?"

"Well, for starters look at her...look at me. She's accomplished, intelligent; she's the head of Paediatrics, for Christ's sake." Callie really didn't want to have this conversation. It was uncomfortable enough just living with Arizona and knowing that the woman was in love with her. She really didn't want to analyse that love in therapy as well.

"And?"

"And what? I'm a mess. I married a man who was clearly grieving for his father; I went out with him because I was lonely. I lived in the basement of the hospital. I couldn't even get it together to rent an apartment...I'm a frigging mess..."

"So ?" Wyatt watched as Callie's agitation grew.

"Sure, these are thing that could be worked on but, Arizona already knew these things about you, about the person you _used_ to be, and went out with you anyway. You don't strike me as someone with low self-esteem but you are exhibiting some of the symptoms."

"Fine, whatever." Callie was staring at her feet and Wyatt could tell that she was shutting down. Perhaps it was time to tackle something else.

"You say that you have relationships behind you. From Arizona's perspective, you're both still _in_ the relationship. This is a life-changing event that she would want to support you through, exactly the same way she would if you had cancer or some other life threatening condition. In fact, I'm surprised that she didn't ask to attend some sessions with you."

"I told her no." Callie was blunt. "And I can't be in a relationship with her simply out of gratitude. I don't know her, how can I be in a relationship with her?"

"What is it that concerns you more, Callie? Is it that you don't know her or that's she's a woman?"

Callie threw her head back.

"Does is it even matter?"

"Yes. Yes I think it does matter to you." Wyatt closed her notebook and leaned forward.

"If the only reason you're uncomfortable with Arizona is because you don't remember her...you don't know her, then spend some time wither, get to know her a little.

Callie didn't respond.

"But if it's because you can't bear the thought of being with a woman, then again, at least get to know her a little. Be a friend instead of a lover."

"What good would that do? It'll only raise her hopes."

"If you're going to reject what may have been a rewarding and loving relationship, you should at least have some understanding of what it is that you're rejecting."

"But I'm not that person anymore," Callie burst out, getting to her feet and pacing the slightly cluttered office.

"I'm not saying that you are, Callie, you've obviously changed. But the fact is that at one point, you were that person. At some point you made the decision to be with a woman, to be with this woman. Are you going to second-guess every decision you've made in the past or just this one?

Callie shot a look at Wyatt and slung herself back on the couch.

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"You don't understand..." Callie stopped herself. She was perilously close to whining like a spoiled child.

Dr Wyatt merely raised her eyebrows.

"This is hard for me. This is really hard."

"I know, Callie and I'm sorry. But nobody said it would be easy."

**#**

Arizona knew full well that in some quarters it was considered creepy.

For others, watching your lover sleep was the most romantic thing ever.

She wasn't sure which side of the fence Callie sat on with regards to being watched while she slept but Arizona was taking full, if illicit, opportunity to study her features before she woke.

The previous night Callie had looked at Arizona and said plainly;

"I can't sleep if you're not there."

And there was nothing else to be said. Arizona had been torn between the joy of being physically close to Callie and the sorrow of knowing that she was still in some anguish.

There was weak light streaming through the blinds and lighting the room. Callie looked completely at peace, her soft rose lips, slightly parted and her eyelashes fluttering as she dreamed. Her skin tone had improved since she got home and though she lacked her usual healthy tan, she'd lost the hospital pallor. Arizona couldn't help but smile a little. Callie's short black curls were the most adorable thing she had ever seen even though she knew Callie was irritated with the length of her hair.

So absorbed was she in reacquainting herself with Callie's features, she missed the tell-tale signs of her waking up until her blue gaze was met with a serious dark brown one.

"Good morning." Arizona decided to brazen it out. "Did you sleep well?"

Callie flushed lightly at the scrutiny but allowed herself a yawn and stretch.

"I slept...through the night...deeply...with no bad dreams." She pushed the words out as she stretched again.

She sat up and was quiet for a moment and then looked over at Arizona

"I know I've been difficult this last week...I know I'm not a great patient and things are particularly difficult for you..." She shook her head, aware that she wasn't elucidating her thoughts properly.

"I didn't know how much I needed you...I think I convinced myself that I didn't need you at all but I was lying to myself ..."

She stopped talking and, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, Callie leaned over Arizona and dropped the lightest of kisses on her surprised lips.

It was an asexual kiss, one that platonic girlfriends might share but it was the first time that Callie had voluntarily touched Arizona without the duress of pain or fear driving her into the blonde's arms.

Arizona swallowed and tried not to touch her lips in wonder.

_Be cool. Be cool._

"What was that on aid of?" She sat up in bed and combed her hands through her tousled hair, not looking at Callie at all but every fibre of her being focused on the Latina was she made her way to the bathroom.

"You were there when I didn't even know that I ..." She stopped and looked at Arizona.

"Just...thank you."

**#**

"Were you kidding when you said that you kissed me at Joe's the first time we met?"

Arizona hid her surprise at the question.

Callie had been home for 2 weeks and had shied away from any mention of their relationship, for the most part treating Arizona like a distant and irritating friend, except at night time when she often clung to Arizona's hand or arm until she fell asleep.

It was tiring but Arizona knew that she had to accommodate Callie's adjustments to life.

She hadn't been expecting any interest in their relationship for a while yet, for most part Callie was, understandably, more self-involved than usual.

"No, I wasn't kidding at all. I'd found out that you'd had a messy break up and you looked upset."

"So, you swooped in and pursued me ruthlessly until I submitted, huh?"

"No-oo," Arizona drawled out. "I'm a lesbian, Calliope, not a sexual predator and to be frank, you asked me out first."

"Oh. Oh. I did?" Callie sat up straighter at that, surprised.

"Weren't expecting that, were you?" Arizona mocked gently.

Callie twitched her lips in acknowledgement, now even more interested than she thought she would be.

"So...we started dated then...?"

"No, actually, I turned you down." Arizona flicked over a page of her journal, nonchalant.

"Wha...t?" Despite herself, Callie was indignant."Seriously? You turned me down?"

"Uhuh." Arizona flipped another page, trying, very badly, to hide her amusement.

"Do you know how hard it's must have been for me to ask someone like you out?" Callie fumed at Arizona, who was now openly laughing at her reaction.

"You can't have it both ways, Callie. Pick a side and stick with it."

"Huh?"

"You can't be mad at me because we're in a relationship AND be mad at me because I once turned you down."

"I'm not..."

"Yes you are." Suddenly, Arizona felt her amusement fade as another emotion rose to the fore.

"You're mad at the fact that you now live a life that you didn't expect to live. You're mad at the fact that your memories haven't come back. You're mad at the world right now, Callie and you're taking it out on me."

"I'm ..." Callie wanted to protest but Arizona wasn't quite done yet.

"I get that you're going through hell right now. I get it, honestly, I do. But it may surprise you that I'm not having such a fun time with this situation either. The woman I fell in love with has pretty much disappeared in a puff of smoke and I'm ..." Arizona stopped, a little aghast at the level of emotion that came spilling out. She took a deep breath to calm down.

"It's hard for you, Callie and I'm sorry. It's hard for me too."

Callie released the breath she didn't know she was holding and licked her lips, slightly nervous.

"I'm...I'm sorry."

"Right." Arizona said shortly, going back to her journal.

"No, Arizona. I _am_ sorry. I've been selfish and yes, I'm angry at ... at everything. But...you've been amazing and ...I've been an ass. I'm sorry."

Arizona made a note in her journal and finally looked up at Callie. She had that familiar expression of contrition and hope that she got whenever she did something to piss Arizona off, like a little puppy and Arizona had to work hard not to get up and hold her tight. Right there, the woman she fell in love with was staring at her with hope and apology in her warm brown eyes.

Surprisingly, her outburst had made Arizona feel so much better.

"OK. Apology accepted. I'm not going to put up with any more of your crap, so we're just going to have to deal with things a little better."

Callie blinked, nonplussed at Arizona's suddenly stern demeanour. She felt like she had just received a major dressing down from the Chief, no worse, from Bailey.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Don't be a smart-ass, Callie."

"I wasn't," Callie mumbled, abashed. Stood up purposefully but realised that she had nowhere to go. Perhaps she deserved the dressing down but it didn't make her feel any less like an ungrateful bitch.

"If you're bored, why don't you see about an early dinner, Callie? It'll give you something to do." Arizona took pity on her.

"Umm, ok, sure."

Callie wondered over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. She peered into the depths doubtfully and then looked over at Arizona. Her usual idea for dinner was take out. She looked over at Arizona again but hesitated before calling her. She still felt pretty embarrassed and small. Her recent chastisement still stung and Callie admitted to herself that Arizona's authoritarian harshness filled her with surprise and admiration.

She usually had the demeanour of an angel; kind, sweet, gentle and, though Callie didn't want to acknowledge it, loving. The fact that she could also be as hard as nails was a bit of a revelation.

Callie decided to see if there was anything else in the freezer.

Arizona was still staring at the pages of her medical journal but the words were meaningless. Her entire focus was on Callie who was aimlessly opening and closing cupboards in the kitchen.

She didn't regret her sternness with Callie; it was deserved but Arizona hoped it didn't set their relationship back again. After helping her address her nightmares, Callie had become a little less wary of Arizona, a little less likely to retreat into her shell if Arizona showed her affection.

Callie's apology had been heartfelt and sincere. Which was a positive step, maybe she was learning to appreciate Arizona. She abandoned her journal and looked over at Callie. She didn't want Callie to appreciate her. She wanted Callie to love her but she doubted that was going to happen anytime soon.

"What are you looking for?" She called out as Callie rummaged through the freezer.

"There's a casserole here somewhere, I can't find it."

"Huh?" Arizona kept her voice normal. She held her breath and hoped for a breath through.

"I swear I put a casserole in here ..." Callie's voice trailed off as she realised what had just happened.

She clenched her first and scrunched up her face, trying to recall some other detail.

"It was... it was..." She clasped her forehead in one hand as she strained to remember.

"Callie, let it go, don't force it..."

"Damn it...I nearly had it...whatever it was." Callie closed her eyes, disappointed.

She looked up at Arizona her eyes shadow and blew her breath out noisily.

"So, you want pizza or Chinese for dinner?"

**#**

"So, when's your next appointment with Wyatt?" Arizona asked the question casually as she pushed the trolley down the grocery aisle.

"Did you know that in England they call a zucchini a courgette? I always found that funny." Callie put a few of the squat green vegetable in a clear plastic bag and placed them in the trolley.

Apart from walks to the park, this was the first time that they'd been out together and Callie's trepidation had been evident from the moment they walked into the supermarket.

She had walked a few paces in front or behind Arizona or waited at the end of an aisle while Arizona picked up items and seemed impatient at times.

"No one is looking at us, Callie. No one cares if we're together or friends or roommates or whatever. Just chill. Ok?" Arizona kept her irritation to herself and tried to show Callie how ordinary a couple they were.

Callie had stared at her for 10 seconds and then burst out laughing. Her amusement, infectious and sexy did draw a few appreciative looks, Arizona noted though Callie did not.

"Just chill?" She giggled, her eyes flashing with laughter.

"Arizona ...you really cannot talk like that. No one will ever take you seriously. You don't have the attitude for it, not to mention the fact that you are not 12 years old."

Arizona had stuck her tongue out at Callie's amused insult but it had served to relax her and that all Arizona had wanted.

"Yes, I did know that about the zucchini, don't change the subject, when's you next appointment?

"Its next week and I still don't want you to come." Callie was meticulously choosing mushrooms and avoided Arizona's gaze.

"I wasn't angling for an invite. If you change your mind, no doubt you'll tell me. No, this is about something else. I spoke to Wyatt before you were discharged and she recommended that I stick to our regular schedule, obviously apart from work."

"OK...?" Callie raised an eyebrow wondering what was coming next. Arizona had a sparkle to her bright blue eyes which Callie knew meant that she was planning something.

"Well, it's date night and I'm taking you out this afternoon." She noted the slightly withdrawn look return to Callie face and rushed to reassure her.

"It's nothing fancy or even romantic, to be honest with you, but it's something you'll enjoy and it will give us time to talk a little without any pressure."

Arizona knew that she hadn't completely sold the idea but hoped that the surprise would be worth it.

"The more you get back to your old routine, the more likely it is that more of your memories will return...I'm guessing that you can get on board with that, right?"

Callie leaned back and considered the woman, noting the slight bite to her last statement.

"Yes, Arizona. I can get on board with that."

They walked for a few minutes in silence, putting items into the trolley.

"Date night, huh?" Callie was trying to be companionable; Arizona deserved at least that much.

"Uhuh, every month we take it in turns to take each other out on a date. A proper date." Arizona shot a sideways look at Callie, who had a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Our schedules can be pretty hectic, this just means that we make an effort to find time just for us."

"What did we do last month?" Callie asked.

Arizona cleared her throat, suddenly choked as she remembered their last date night.

"You took me to see Tosca at the Opera House..." Arizona paused as Callie swung round at her.

"We saw Tosca? I love Tosca, it's one of my favourites...was it a good performance, who performed..." She stopped her rapid questions and gave Arizona a penetrating stare.

"Did you enjoy it?"

Suspecting that this was a minor audition for the role of suitable girlfriend, Arizona smiled happily up at Callie, glad that, at least on this occasion, she would pass with flying colours.

"It was amazing, I...I actually cried a little in act 3...you know the bit where he's waiting to be executed..."

"That's my favourite part too..."Callie exclaimed, excited despite herself. She took a step back and gave Arizona a thoughtful appraisal.

"You sat through Tosca and enjoyed it? Wow."

Arizona, blushing slightly at Callie's examination hurriedly corrected Callie.

"I'm not an opera buff but that one was beautiful, romantic ...just..."

"Magical..." they both said at the same time.

Callie blinked a little stunned at their unexpected affinity.

She looked away as she felt blood rush to her face and tried to think of something to say, to lighten the tension that had suddenly formed between them.

"So where are you taking me?"

Arizona licked her lips and began pushing the trolley again, keeping her emotions in check. It was just a little step but it was one in the right direction.

"You want me to tell you?"

"Sure, why not?" Callie wanted to fill the silence and block the image of Arizona's eyes glinting and the curve of her mouth as she smiled at her.

"Well, it involved hot dogs, lots of beer, I believe something that's called a down and thousands of people screaming Go Seahawks..."

Callie's introspection was dashed aside and she actually grabbed hold of Arizona's arm.

"You got tickets for today's game?" she squealed excitement shining out of her eyes.

"Did I do good?" Arizona grinned up at Callie, amazed and hearted by the uplift in her expression.

"Arizona, you did great, but we've got to go...now..." Callie checked her watch and grabbing Arizona by the arm practically dragged her along.

"But... the groceries..." Arizona looked backwards at their abandoned trolley.

"We can eat out for another day. We've only got a few hours before kick off...it takes forever to get to the stadium."

"Ok but I have to warn you...all I know about the Seahawks is that they play in the NFL and that they lost to the St Louis Rams last week. You're going to have explain the rudiments to me." Arizona panted out as she trotted after Callie.

Callie stopped dead and look at Arizona a strange expression crossing her face. "You grew up in the mid-West, how can you not know about football? And, I might add that it's not polite to bring up losses on game day, ruins the chakra."

"Oh. I guess you're serious about your football, huh? All I know is that it seems like there's 256 men on the field, throwing a ball and taking turns to crush the hell of out each other."

This time the affection in Callie's eyes was clear and she patted Arizona, kindly, on the shoulder.

"You're such a girl."

**#**

"Tell me about Liz Bennett."

Arizona's head snapped up at Callie's question and her suddenly nerveless fingers dropped the glass she was holding. She watched it smash on the kitchen floor, unable to move or meet Callie's gaze.

"You alright there?" Callie wandered up and peered over the breakfast bar, her face keenly interested.

Swallowing, Arizona crouched down and began picking up the jagged pieces of glass, not wanting to look up.

Unable to help herself, she asked the question quietly, her heart beating uncomfortably fast in her chest.

"You...you remember Liz Bennett?" She tried for nonchalance as she stood and dumped the broken glass in the recycle bin.

Callie was watching her closely and Arizona realised that the colour had drained from her face at Callie's question. There wasn't much hope in hiding her feelings about this.

Callie perched on a stool and continued to examine Arizona closely.

"No, I don't actually. She came to see me before I was discharged." Callie cocked her head curiously.

"She was right, you don't like her. But it's more than just not liking her...what did she do to you?"

Arizona laid her hands flat against the kitchen work surface and willed her heartbeat to return to normal. She could feel the blood now rushing back to her face and closed her eyes in exasperation, so much for nonchalance.

"You know her better than I do; I've only met her once." Arizona shrugged lightly, trying to dodge the question.

Callie started laughing, seeing straight through Arizona's feint.

"Now you really have to tell me what she did, you're standing there blushing, is she an ex-girlfriend of yours or something?"

The fact that Callie seemed amused by this thought annoyed Arizona.

"No, Cal. She's not an ex-girlfriend of mine. It's you she likes." She replied bluntly.

Callie stopped laughing.

"Huh? Whaddya mean ...it's me she likes?"

Arizona raised an eyebrow at Callie and stared straight into her eyes, unblinking and watched the colour rise in Callie's face.

"I mean, that Liz Bennett likes you the way _I_ like you, Calliope. She propositioned you twice and ...and stuff. I don't like her because she made me insanely jealous." Arizona could tell that Callie was discomfited by the conversation but perhaps it was a good idea to remind her that Arizona was more than just a friend.

"Oh. Oh..." Callie blinked, more than a little surprised at the revelation. She was even more nonplussed with the intensity coming from Arizona.

"Don't sound so surprised that men _and_ women find you attractive and interesting, Callie." Arizona continued to drink in Callie's features, openly showing a hint of her desire for the first time since she brought her home. It wasn't the best idea she's had all week but damn, she was entitled to some emotions.

"You are breathtakingly gorgeous, you're incredible to look at and incredible to be with and though it makes me sound like a madly possessive caveman...cavewoman, I warned Liz Bennett to stay away from you. So, no. I don't like her. OK?"

"Ummm. OK." Callie didn't know where to look. Arizona hadn't undressed her with her eyes or anything as crude or obvious as that but the intensity of her deep blue stare had reminded Callie that they had shared an intimate sexual relationship in the past ... something that Arizona would probably want to resume at some point.

Callie was not ready to face that thought.

"I'm ...I'm...ummm just going to see Mark..." Callie didn't exactly scamper out of the apartment but she moved pretty quickly and Arizona cursed herself for being so stupid.

**#**

"That's the tenth time you've checked your phone. Are you expecting a call?"

Arizona put her phone down and shot a rueful smile at Teddy. They were having lunch not too far from the hospital. She had been determined not to allow the conversation be monopolised by talk of Callie's recovery and associated woes and had deflected most of Teddy's probing questions. They'd spent a amiable 45 minutes chatting about the news, the state of the economy, gossip from the was enjoying catching up.

"I'm sorry, I'm..." Arizona shrugged apologetically.

"Is this the first time you've left her since you took her home?"

Arizona nodded and chewed on a mouthful of sea bass. The food was delicious, the restaurant was bright and inviting and Arizona was genuinely glad to see her friend but her almost total focus was on Callie.

"I'm not entirely sure I trust Mark to take care of her but I think they were going to stay in and watch a box set of some vampire show..." She offered a sheepish smile.

"I've never been this over-protective of anything and now I'm..."

"You're a concerned girlfriend who has control issues. It's perfectly understandable, Arizona." Teddy looked over at Arizona's plate and lifted a forkful of fish, grinning at her cheek.

"I know you're avoiding the issue but you really should talk about things, even a little bit."

Arizona sighed, her eyes distant as she conjured up memories of the previous 2 weeks.

"We've come a long way, to be honest, Teddy. She's able to look me in the face now. She doesn't make snide cracks about lesbians and she even laughs with me. But she's still cautious around me, she barely touches me...sometimes we're like distant friends and the more I try to love her the more she withdraws, so I treat her like a friend...and it's killing me." Arizona hadn't meant to unburden herself.

She looked at Teddy and smiled sadly at the sympathy written in her friend's face.

"Going out with her is filled with tension because she's clearly worried about what people might think or say. She is still so resistant to the idea of a relationship with a woman, any woman, she won't let herself relax around me."

Teddy chose he words carefully. "Arizona, you know there's a chance that her personality changes..."

"...Might be permanent?" Arizona flicked her hair aside and put her fork down, appetite completely gone.

"I can't deal with that thought. So I give her some space and time to get used to me."

She looked up and smiled brightly, determined to highlight every positive thing.

"On the plus side, we are sharing a bed, sort of, which should help, you know, with the getting to know me scenario. And I took her out on a date, which should have been a disaster but wasn't."

Teddy narrowed her eyes at her friend and tried to decipher her sentence.

"You're sharing a bed...sort of...?"

"It's a long story."

**#**

"So... you wanna talk?" Mark raised an eyebrow, an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face.

"No, Mark, I don't want to talk. Talk is all I seem to do, with Arizona, with Shepherd, with Wyatt. You know what would be good? Not to talk. That would be good." Callie picked up the remote and handed it to Mark settling herself down to be entertained by the strange happenings of Bon Temp and a large bowl of popcorn. They were about to start on season Two.

"Callie..." Mark hesitated.

"Arizona is a good woman. You really do love her."

"Did. I did love her." Callie threw a handful of popcorn in her mouth and kept her eyes on the TV screen.

"What?"

"I'm sure you're right, Mark. I do actually trust your judgement..." She gave him a half stare. "I trust your judgement in some things and I believe you when you say I loved Arizona...at some point...in the past, not right now. I don't love her now, Mark." She sighed at him, a frown crinkling her brow.

"I do like her, she funny and annoying and she takes great care of me...but love? Not so much." She poked him in the side. "Press play."

"Is it the girl thing...the boob thing? 'Cos Callie, I gotta tell you, boobs are amazing...they're..."

"Zip it, Mark." She poked him harder. "I seriously don't want to talk about that."

Mark saw Callie completely shut down, she set her jaw determinedly and her lashes lowered, obscuring her thoughts. She _really_ didn't want to talk about being with a woman.

His pager went off and Callie tossed a piece of pop corn at him.

"Killjoy."

"Looks like a post op sinus repair is going South. I'll need to check in." He stood and looked down at his troubled buddy not knowing what to do to help.

She looked up at him and smiled her old sexy smile.

"Go on, you big oaf. Come back when you're done, I'll wait for you."

"You going to be ok?"

"I think I'll have a nap."

**#**

_Night time came quickly in the south and Callie was glad of the fact that she could hop on her Harley and ride through the bayou in peace. It was a still night, sweet and warm and the full moon hung low in the sky. It was her favourite time of the night and with the moon close enough to touch; bright, cold and pretty, it was her favourite time period. She could hear the mocking bird sing and knew she was home._

_She had been riding for an hour or so, the wild wind rushing through her hair, when the slightest hint of something caught her interest and she pulled up._

_She could see the lights of a bar just up ahead, trucks and bikes parked up front and people laughing and talking as the spilled out off the wide porch and into the brightly lit beer garden._

_There was something in the bar that had attracted Callie's attention and without questioning her instincts, she headed straight for the bright lights._

_As she pushed the door open a couple of young girls, children almost, fell through the door, arms wrapped around each other, laughing and oblivious to their surroundings._

_There was a faint hush as she entered and looked around, trying to identify what it was that made her come here. Her eyes settled on a woman behind the bar who seemed to be directing a number of uniformed employees. She looked like the owner of the place._

_Ignoring the fear that she could sense in a couple of patrons, Callie strode up to the bar and swung her leg over a stool, not taking her eyes off the object of her interest._

_Callie knew that she cut an imposing figure. She was tall and solidly built with Rubenesque curves, a deep cleavage and rounded hips. Her Latina heritage was evident in her dark flashing eyes and long wild mane of hair. _

_She had lived in cities and in small towns and in all her years she had learnt that there were only two types of people. Those that were scared and those that weren't._

_As she stared at the blonde, Callie really hoped that she fell into the latter category._

_She heard someone call out her name, _Arizona _and Callie felt her mouth curve. An incongruous name for a resident of Louisiana but she had no complaint. The woman was encased in a pair of jeans that clung to her thighs and tight rounded ass like they were painted on and Callie took a deep breath. She had a slight frame but wasn't painfully thin the way many 21__st__ century women were._

_The swell of her breasts was clear under the tee-shirt she wore, the plunging neckline allowing just enough cleavage to let Callie know that each breast would be a perfect handful for her. She licked her lips in anticipation._

_Callie could smell lemon and sunlight and the hint of something else and felt her interest pique just a little more._

_The woman was beautiful in an earthy, sensual way, every curve of her sweet mouth or the sway of her hips screamed of an unadulterated passion that Callie was desperate to get acquainted with._

_She was youthful but, of course, to Callie, who was nearly 200 years old, all human women were youthful but not in an illicit way. She was probably between her 30th and 40th year and her skin was smooth, unlined and looked like it was bathed in buttermilk. She looked delectable and Callie felt her mouth water and her fangs engage._

_She was as fair and light skinned as Callie was dark; her honey blonde hair falling in thick heavy waves down her back and Callie felt her hands twitch with the desire to bury her hands into that thick mane._

"_Good evening, honey. What can I get you?" Arizona, noting that the sexy dark stranger hadn't been served, walked up and smiled brightly._

_The woman looked incredibly intense and more than a little dangerous. She was dressed in bikers leathers, the pants sitting low on her hips and her top showing enough curves to make a grown woman cry._

_Arizona had dealt with all manner of vampires and had no problem serving them in her establishment but this one looked like trouble._

_Heart-stoppingly beautiful. Hot and sultry and oh so sexy. But trouble nonetheless._

_Callie blinked and smiled very slowly, her lips curving upwards and revealing her white teeth, fangs safely retracted. She could smell the arousal in the woman and knew that it wouldn't be long before she could sink her teeth into that beautiful neck and her fingers into her hot core._

"_I'll have a B- True Blood, if you've got it, darling," she drawled softly. _

_Arizona faltered at the smile directed at her. Despite herself, she felt her knees go weak as arousal shot through her and wondered if she'd just been glamoured. She made no secret of the fact that she liked girls and had been propositioned on more occasions than she liked to remember but she had never had a vampire glamour her before._

_Without a word she grabbed a bottle of the beverage and heated it up, feeling the dark gaze almost burn a hole in her back._

"_Did you just glamour me?" She demanded as she put the drink down._

"_No, I did not just glamour you." Callie replied, taking a slow swig of the drink._

_Arizona nodded and watched Callie's mouth as it closed around the neck of the bottle and then followed the line of her throat as she swallowed._

"_What's your name?" Her voice was faint and Callie smiled again as the bright blue eyes darkened with arousal._

"_My name is Callie Torres and darling, before this night is through, I'm going to do very bad things to you."_

_#_

"_Take off your clothes; let me see your body." _

_Callie stood the corner of the darkened room, flickering candle light and the low yellow moon providing the only illumination. Arizona had her apartment above the bar and now that every patron had left, the silence that poured through the open window was almost complete. There was the faintest of breezes that ruffled the curtains and brought in the scent of jasmine and the sound of crickets and frogs._

"_Ladies first." Arizona smiled and indicated that Callie should start._

_Callie strode out of the shadow and towards Arizona removing her top and flinging it aside as she spoke._

"_Darling, I haven't been a lady for more than 200 hundred years, now take off your damn clothes. I only have all night."_

_Arizona laughed and complied, stepping out of her clothes quickly. Callie stood and stared her, her dark eyes glowing eerily with passion and arousal at the full high breasts, the softness of her stomach and the flair of her hips. She was flawless and looked like an unearthly vision._

"_You look beautiful in moonlight," Callie said as she dropped her leather trousers._

_She led Arizona to the bed and ran her hands along her shoulders and down her arms. She only had the night but Callie wanted to savour this. The warmth of the woman's body was almost enough to send Callie into orbit and she wrapped her arms around her, moulding their bodies together. She took Arizona's lower lip between her teeth and bit down gently on the soft flesh, not enough to break the skin, but it gave Callie a taste of something she didn't know she was missing._

_Sweet citrus, sunlight and honey, the scent that had eluded her earlier, was honey, sweet and thick and Arizona's skin seemed to be imbued with the flavour. _

_Callie thrust her tongue into Arizona's mouth and trailed her tongue along the moist warmth of hers, stroking her and feeling her lust rise as Arizona became more assertive and duelled with her for control. She leaned up and cupped her hands around Callie's neck, tangling her fingers in the dark hair and pulled Callie closer, thrusting her tongue deeper._

_Arizona moaned loudly as Callie cupped her breast and began massaging it, tweaking the hardened nipple._

_Callie lifted the heavy fall of blonde hair and dropped a kiss behind Arizona's ear. She licked the spot and felt the thudding pulse under her tongue._

"_I'll... be gentle." She made the promised even as she wondered if she'd be able to keep it. Even now, she was struggling to keep her bloodlust at bay. The thought of tasting Arizona's sweet, hot blood, her succulent flesh, lush and ripe was driving Callie insane._

"_That's not fear you feel, honey. That's excitement." Arizona pushed Callie onto the bed and straddled her, pinning her hands over her head._

_Callie chuckled at her enthusiasm, wriggling her hips in enjoyment._

"_You do realise that I'm stronger than you can ever imagine?"_

"_Ahh, but I can make you weak." Arizona replied stroking her burning hot and very wet centre against Callie's bush._

_Releasing Callie's hands, she leaned forward and took a nipple in her mouth and began to suck hard on the peak, both hands cupped around the breast and kneading it gently._

"_Hmmm. That feels good," Callie closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the sensation of warm agile mouth and nimble tongue toying with her. She reached up and trailed the tips of her fingers along Arizona's spine, arching her back as the woman moved from one pliant breast to the other, raking her teeth against the turgid nipples and sending shockwaves of pleasure through Callie's body. She ran her hands down Arizona's sides until she reached her smooth rounded ass and as she filled her hands with the soft flesh, Callie felt her sex scream for attention._

"_More. Give me more." Callie demanded and watched as Arizona sensuously inserted herself between Callie's spread thighs and began to move slowly down her body, her warm open mouth tasting Callie's flesh as she made her descent._

_Callie forced herself up on her elbows and watched intently as Arizona burrowed through Callie black thatch of hair between her legs and latch her open mouth onto Callie's slick and ready sex, her tongue strongly lapping at Callie's clit and labia. She used the flat of her tongue to stroke, slowly in time with the thrusts of Callie's hips, each stroke applying spine-tingling pressure to the heart of Callie's need and sending reams of pleasure through Callie's body._

_Arizona looked up, her bright blue eyes intent, and met Callie's burning dark gaze head on. Without warning she changed the tip of her tongue to a point and drove deep into Callie's core, watching as Callie flung her head back and growled, engaging her fangs as she grasped a fistful of Arizona hair. She permitted the delicious torture for as long as she could stand it, her moans getting louder and her movements become more agitated._

_In a blur of strength and movement, Callie moved to kneel upright on the bed, lifted Arizona to mirror her position and guided Arizona's fingers to the place where her tongue had been mere seconds before._

"_I need you inside me, now." Callie commanded, her eyes glittering._

_Without missing a beat, Arizona thrust her fingers into Callie's super-heated core but was unprepared for Callie to return the favour and moaned in ecstasy as Callie's long fingers filled her. She stroked her deeply, scrapping Arizona's spongy erogenous zone with every thrust. Callie could feel herself gush around Arizona's skilful fingers and ground her teeth together at the sensations wrought within her._

_Callie wrapped one arm around Arizona as their bodies settled into a hard fast rhythm and luxuriated in heat and sweat that poured off the blonde's body and heated hers in a way that reminded her of life. Their breasts, torsos and thighs slid against each other and Arizona clutched at Callie's buttock, massaging the flesh as she rode Callie's hand._

_Arousal screamed through her body and Callie could deny her nature no longer and she buried her face into the curve of Arizona's neck and shoulder and sank her fangs into the pulsating vein._

_The sweetness of her taste went straight to Callie's head like a finely aged wine from the old country. Callie took a deep draught, feeling Arizona's heart pump faster and faster as she rode the waves of her imminent orgasm. She could feel Arizona's short blunt nails raking down her back as the sensation of being drunk from careened wildly through her body._

"_You taste divine," Callie lifted her head and retracted her fangs with difficulty. She knew that the woman would taste good but she was almost irresistible and Callie had to employ every last bit of will power not to keep drinking._

"_Don't stop, don't stop now..." Arizona panted out as her body began to clench tightly around Callie's fingers. Her blue eyes glinted through her lowered lashes and her mouth was stretched in a feral smile._

_The mere fact that Arizona welcomed her bite was enough to send Callie over the edge and as she bent to take another long mouthful of the nectar, she felt her body shudder wildly in release._

_#_

_Callie narrowed her eyes at Arizona and tried to recall the last time or place in all her years that she had been so utterly enthralled by a woman, human or vampire. It wasn't just her physical appearance that held her interest, though the woman's essence, her honey blonde hair and clear blue eyes took Callie's breath away._

_She was surprised to find that she was interested in the woman' mind, what her thoughts were; Callie wanted to know about her hopes and fears. Callie wanted to see her again, to talk to her, to listen to that captivating voice with her sexy little hitch of breath that she took when speaking._

_Callie had never thought that she could be so fascinated with someone that she had only just met but she was spellbound._

"_Are you human or are you some mystical being?" Callie asked idly as she stroked her fingers along Arizona's spine._

_Arizona was sat up on the bed curled over her raised knees, Callie could see that her hands still trembled in the aftermath of their lovemaking and felt the passion unravel in her stomach at the thought of having Arizona again._

_As if she could read her thoughts, Arizona turned her head to observe Callie who was outstretched on the bed. She slowly ran the gaze along Callie's form, her eyes darkening as she took in the lush body, the sexy smile and glowing dark eyes that watched her in return._

"_I want you, Callie," she said simply and smiled as Callie sat up and reached for her, happy to oblige._

_She ran her tongue along Arizona's spine until she reached her nape where she pushed the hair aside and dropped feather light kisses and laughed out loud at the goose bumps that raised all over her body._

"_Look at what you've done to me," Arizona complained softly, cupping her breasts with their suddenly puckered nipples, offering them to Callie._

"_Let me see if I can do something to help," Callie moved around the bed and lifted Arizona onto her lap. The blonde was facing Callie, her legs wrapped around her waist and her hot core pressing into Callie's stomach. _

_Callie kept her hands on Arizona's waist and leaned forward to take a hardened nipple in her mouth, grazing her teeth along the nub and luxuriating in the softness of the woman. She kept her fangs retracted with difficulty as Arizona sank her hands into Callie's hair holding her head close and began grinding herself against Callie, her legs crossed behind Callie's back and her thighs gripping the Latina vampire tightly. _

_Switching quickly from one breast to the other, sucking in the nipples, tasting them, Callie marvelled at their softness and the utter responsiveness Arizona's body had for her touch. The blue eyes were dark with arousal and she encouraged Callie with throaty moans of approval._

"_You're driving me out of my mind...you're so good...you feel so good against me." Arizona bit the words out as she clenched a handful of black hair in one hand and massaged Callie's breast with the other._

_Callie grinned at her and despite the pleasure from feeling a slick and very hot Arizona rub up against her, she pulled back and placing her hands on the pouting blonde's shoulders, pushed her back until she was lying on her back, her legs wide and her need exposed to Callie's gaze. Moving to her knees, Callie bent over Arizona and made her intentions clear, gripping an ankle in either hand and raising Arizona's legs, spreading them wide._

_She began to drop warm, open mouthed kissed along Arizona's calves and reached her trembling inner thighs and Callie's fangs engaged as the scent of Arizona's arousal, mixed with her unique scent spiralled Callie's emotions into overdrive. She drove her teeth into a vein behind Arizona's knee and supped for a moment, her eyes fixed on Arizona's who was squirming and raising her hips in desperation. _

"_Please, Callie...please." She begged._

_Unable to resist her pleas, Callie took a final drink and resumed her meandering progress along Arizona's thighs until she reached the dark blonde thatch of hair._

_She could feel her arousal tingle along her arms and the depths of her stomach and muscles of her thighs like a thousand bolts of super fast lightning and she wondered how it was possible to feel so much pleasure from being with someone._

_Callie flicked her tongue delicately at the tip of Arizona's clit and smiled as her hips raised frantically trying to prolong the contact._

_But Callie wasn't satisfied and dropped her head for a longer taste, licking firmly, her tongue inquisitive, exploring every fold and nerve ending, stroking both their arousals dangerously high._

"_Fuck, you taste so good...I'm not even sure I know which tastes better," Callie laughed out loud and sank her head back between the milky white thighs thrusting, her tongue deep into Arizona's core, who was now panting hard and had both hands gripping Callie head as she guided her. Callie changed pace slightly and wrapped her mouth around Arizona's labia and clit, sucking hard in between long slow licks of her tongue. The essence poured out of Arizona and Callie lapped up every last drop, almost going out of her mind with excitement. Turning her head slightly to the top of Arizona's thigh, Callie sank her fangs into her femoral artery, where the blood ran thick and strong. Callie knew that she was intoxicated by this woman, that she would never get enough of her...one taste was not enough..._

_She retracted her fangs and sank her tongue in Arizona's core again and as she began to thrust in earnest, dipping deeper into the quivering heated core she heard Arizona's broken screams of pleasure and felt her come in her mouth and knew that some things were forever._

**#**

Callie's eyes opened and the first thing she saw was Arizona sitting beside her, a curious smile on her face.

"Are you alright, baby?" Her question was soft and very slightly amused and Callie swallowed and looked around her.

She was sprawled out on the couch, she'd been dreaming.

Boy, had she been dreaming.

Callie knew that her skin was flushed and she could still feel almost unbearable arousal humming through her body.

"Ummmm...fine. I'm fine." She muttered, closing her eyes for second, wiling the images in her head to go away. In her dreams she had been taken to ecstasy by this woman and returned the favour, several times. It was disconcerting to stare at Arizona now and not see her very naked and very aroused.

A thought occurred to Callie and her eyes opened wide in consternation.

"When did you get home?" She asked in desperation, wondering if she had an audience while she slept.

"I've only been home about 10 minutes, Callie," Arizona's expression was still amused and now just a little intent.

"You looked like you...needed a nap, so I let you sleep for a while."

Arizona was torn.

Callie's warm flushed arousal was so evident; it was all she could do not to pin her down on the sofa and finish whatever her dream had started. Her dark eyes were heavy-lidded and sleepily sexy, her full lips were moist and pouting and though she probably wasn't aware of it, her nipples were jutting prominently against her top. Arizona's hadn't given much thought to sex at all until she started sharing a bed with Callie and she knew that they weren't anywhere near that point yet but seeing Callie warm and wanting piqued her own dormant libido and now arousal raced through her.

She knew it was a bad idea but she leaned over the supine woman and ran the tip of her finger along Callie's upper lip, collecting the beads of moisture that had formed there.

Placing her finger in her mouth, she sucked on the droplet, her eyes staring into Callie's mesmerised gaze.

"I think you needed the rest."

At Callie's very slight gasp of shock and desire, Arizona leaned close enough to feel Callie's warm breath on her face and said,

"Tell me to stop, Callie."

And very deliberately she flicked he tongue against Callie's lip and closed her eyes at the gentle puff of air that Callie released.

_This is a bad idea._

Arizona ghosted her lips against Callie's as gentle as an angels kiss and felt her eyelids droop again in sheer pleasure at the barest of contacts.

She pulled back ever so slightly and looked into Callie's eyes.

They were wide and questioning and aroused and with a small whimper Arizona fitted her mouth against the familiar and missed contours of Callie's and dipped her tongue into the warmth of her lover's mouth.

The kiss was a gentle stroke of tongues, Arizona's tentative, Callie's questioning.

"You're going need to tell me to stop, Callie."

She was desperate to taste Callie again, to feel their tongues wrap around each other's with passion and intent, she wanted to rip off their clothes and make love to Callie like it was the first time. But she wasn't convinced it was the right thing to do. Callie was still conflicted about her sexuality and was probably still half asleep. Arizona found the strength to break the grip of desire, knowing that she was taking advantage of Callie's vulnerability.

Callie slid her hand around Arizona's neck and pulled her back down to her mouth, no longer questioning but demanding, her tongue forceful as it stroked along the length of Arizona's, greedily swallowing up the moan that came her.

"Callie..."

Callie ignored Arizona's plea and grabbed one of Arizona's hand crushing the open palm against her straining breast, both women crying out at the contact.

"Hey Torres, you want to go play some darks tonight...? Oh. Oh crap. I'm sorry..." Mark's intrusion and apologetic exit had a violent impact.

Callie's eye's opened wide and without a word, she pushed Arizona aside and literally ran into the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

Arizona leaned forward, her elbows resting on her thighs, her heart still pounding from the arousal and adrenaline.

She buried her head in her hands.

_Jesus. What have I just done?_

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Many thanks for the feedback and letting me know how much you all enjoyed the last chapter. Thanks also to everyone who offered '**__**encouragement'**__** to update quickly.**_

_**In the interests of fairness and full disclosure, I should point out that I'm really busy this November and the next update probably won't be ready before the end of next month. **_

_**I had planned on a more eventful chapter to move the story along but I've not had much time to write and as a result, the next chapter should be longer and more eventful and perhaps even happier ... **__**should **__**being the operative word. **_

_**PS I'm currently cross-eyed with exhaustion, thus you may find more than the usual amount of typos and grammatical clangers...I'm sorry. Will do better next time!**_

_**Enjoy. **_

_**13**_

_**

* * *

**_

Fight or flight.

FIGHT OR FLIGHT?

Never more than now did Callie mourn the loss of her long hair.

She needed to pull her hair out and her tightly whorled back curls were simply not up to the task.

There was not one single thought that she could hold in her head.

Callie looked about her wildly, her chest heaving with adrenaline, with fear and undeniably with excitement.

No. .

She repeated the words out loud and to herself, trying to...

Callie didn't know what she was trying to say.

Callie looked about the room again, distracted, shocked.

She could feel a thousand different emotions roiling inside her, barely contained. She wanted to scream out loud. She wanted to say that it was a mistake, that the woman who had moaned out loud at the touch of another woman's hand on her breast was not really her. That it was not her that had pulled Arizona close to her and tasted the sweetness of her mouth, the softness of her lips. Callie paced the bedroom, her steps rapid, and her brain whirling. She placed her hands on her head and blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay.

This was not her.

That woman who had dreamt such vivid and erotic dreams was just under the influence of tiredness, or a brain injury, of a popular TV show.

But it wasn't her.

This was not her.

It couldn't be.

Callie clenched and unclenched her hands.

Why the hell had Arizona kissed her?

What had she thinking of…..?

A thought, urgent and compelling seeped into Callie's brain. Was Arizona trying to seduce her? Was that what this was about?

She spun round and marched to the door, intent on having it out with the other woman.

Callie had taken 2 or 3 furious paces before her determined march faltered.

Arizona had pulled away. She had even pleaded with Callie, asking her to put an end to their kisses.

Whatever Arizona's faults might have been, she had tried to stop.

It had been her, HER, that had prolonged the contact, that had latched, greedily onto Arizona's lips. She had been the one to strain her body up to Arizona's, desperate to feel the softness of the other woman's body against hers...

This was not her. THIS WAS NOT HER.

He eyes settled on the chest of draws and she looked at the inanimate objects, her creams and perfumes, the CD player and piles of CD's.

They were the ordinary objects of an ordinary life.

Callie felt anything but ordinary.

She felt like an alien in her own skin and as she stared at them her fury bubbled forth.

Her arm moved in a wide and violent arc as she swept items on the floor, her head flung back and a strangled howl of rage and fear and confusion emitted from the depths of her soul, filling the room with a jagged broken sound.

#

Arizona stood up and started to follow Callie to the bedroom. She stopped short of the door and stood her hand on the door knob, her fingers tightening around the wooded door handle.

Callie needed space and time.

She probably needed distance from Arizona right now but Arizona didn't know if she could give Callie the distance she needed.

She leaned her forehead against the closed door and closed her eyes.

_How could I have been so stupid?_

She knew that Callie was not ready for this. She'd barely been able to accept Arizona as a girlfriend, any intimacy was something that she simply couldn't deal with; shouldn't be expected to deal with.

Arizona swallowed, her disgust at her lack of control sweeping through her.

She knew better.

She absolutely fucking knew better.

She could hear Callie pacing up and down the room, her steps rapid and agitated.

There were a thousand ways she could berate herself for the colossally stupid mistake of allowing Callie's magnetism to cloud her judgement but none of them really mattered right now.

Callie needed …..

Arizona knew what Callie would want right now and her heart clenched in despair.

Swinging away from the door, Arizona dashed through the apartment and across the hall.

Her clenched fist banged on Mark's door and he snatched it open immediately; as if he'd been standing waiting for her.

"I'm sorry….I'm sorry …" His voice was gentle and apologetic but Arizona wasn't listening.

"You're her best friend, you know her, you understand her and you'd do anything for her." Arizona drew a breath and then implored with him.

"Mark, you have to promise me that you'll turn her away."

"Huh?" Mark was baffled at the words coming out of, a clearly distracted, Arizona's mouth.

"2 years ago, you and Callie were fuck buddies or whatever," Arizona began bluntly, her blue eyes staring fiercely into his.

"Right now, she's going to want to do anything to remind herself of her heterosexuality and she's going to come to you. Please, please turn her away."

Mark blinked at Arizona's words.

He'd felt ridiculous and incredibly guilty at his intrusion and leapt at any chance of helping make things better.

He cocked his head and considered the determined woman standing in front of him.

"Did you really need to ask me that?"

Arizona allowed a small ping of shame to reach her.

"No. No, I know I don't. But she's beautiful and sexy and she's hurting. You'd want to help her, even if you knew it was wrong. And Lexie notwithstanding, you're still a bit of a whore."

Mark fixed a pained smile to his face.

"Yeah, thanks for that."

Satisfied that Mark would be true to his word, Arizona turned back to her apartment, anxious to try and calm Callie down.

"We're agreed then, she comes to you and you send back her to me. You lay a finger on her and I rip your throat out."

"Alrighty then." Mark agreed amiably.

#

Arizona returned to the apartment in time to hear an angry scream and a massive crash from the bedroom.

Callie hadn't calmed down. She ran to the bedroom door and knocked anxiously.

"Cal?"

"Callie, are you OK? Have you hurt yourself?"

Surprisingly, Callie's response was immediate.

"I haven't hurt myself. I need you to leave me alone right now."

"Calliope, please come out." Arizona wiped her hands along the seams of her jeans, her palms sweaty.

"I'm sorry. I...I didn't mean to take advantage of you. What I did was unconscionable and... and you have every right to be furious at me. But, please ...please believe me, Callie, I didn't set out to … to …"

Arizona faltered as the bedroom door opened slowly and Callie emerged. She took a step back, her eyes searched Callie's face, trying to guess her mood.

Callie stared at her, head on, for a short second, but her eyes were shadowed, completely opaque, all emotions hidden away from Arizona's questing eyes.

"You don't need to apologise, it's not necessary." Callie shot her another quick look but her eyes skittered away before Arizona's gaze met hers.

"We both know that this was my fault …. I'm sorry for….. leading you on or whatever. OK?" Again the quick, almost defiant, almost apologetic half glance.

"Callie…." Arizona took a step towards her but Callie took an immediate step backwards, raising her hands in front of her, almost as if to ward Arizona off.

"I don't want to ….. I can't talk about this, Arizona. I can't….." Callie took another step backwards and eyed the front door.

"I need to go out and clear my head…"

"Ok. I'll get my jacket." Arizona agreed evenly. She guessed that the storm was far from over.

"Arizona. I need some space. You can understand that, right?" Callie had a note of warning in her words.

"I do understand that and I don't want to crowd you or invade your privacy…..but Cal... You're vulnerable right now, for so many different reasons. I can't just let you wander off on your own."

"Fine. I'll go out with Mark. Good enough?" Callie tilted her head, irritation replacing the blankness of her expression.

"No Callie, no. Not good enough." Arizona dragged her hands through her hair, hoping to find the right words. She could see Callie's eyes flash dangerously at her words but Arizona wasn't about to back away from this particular fight.

"I'll come with you to the park or the museum, I'll hang back, I won't force you to talk, but _I _need to be with you right now, Callie. Not Mark."

Callie leaned back and looked down at Arizona; both their faces were flushed with tension but despite everything, the first thought that came to Callie was that the delicate colour in Arizona's cheeks reminded her of the first pink of a summer's dawn.

Clenching down hard on the thought, Callie shook her head to clear her mind and she moved through the kitchen.

"I'm not even going to pretend I know what that's supposed to mean but you're not coming with me Arizona."

Arizona, not caring what she looked like, hurried to bar Callie from reaching the door.

"Then you're not going anywhere." She folded her arms, wondering how long she could keep this up.

Callie eyed her for a second and then picked up her jacket.

"Get out of my way, Arizona. Seriously."

"I'm being serious, Callie. You're not going anywhere without me." Arizona licked her lips and decided to be honest.

"Callie, what just happened took us _both_ by surprise." Callie turned her head away; her eyes blinking rapidly, her teeth snapping closed, the audible click signalling her frustration.

"I know you don't want to talk about it but I know you and I know that you're shocked and upset and not ready for what happened." Arizona forced a smile to her face to take the sting out of her words.

"Cal, I know that you're planning to go out and get hold of Mark and screw the living daylights out of him, just to prove to all that you're not gay ... to try and negate passion that we just shared." Callie's face was still turned away and Arizona had no way of knowing if her words were reaching Callie.

"You don't need to do that. You've got nothing to prove. Not to anyone….."

"You have one hell of a set on you to say that to me, you know that?" Callie's voice had dropped low and despite herself, Arizona felt apprehension trickle through her at the stillness of Callie's body. She was like a tightly wound jaguar stalking her, waiting to pounce, waiting to rip her to shreds.

"Callie….."

"Get out of my way, Arizona. I'm not joking"

Callie took a step directly at Arizona as she spoke, her words flat and deliberate.

Arizona swallowed hard but shook her head.

"Callie ... just talk to me."

"Get the hell out of my way, Arizona..." Callie started to respond but with a short shake of her head, she attempted to shoulder passed Arizona but was brought up short when the smaller woman held her ground.

"Arizona." This time Callie's warning was clear.

"Calliope... I'm not letting you do this."

"You're not letting me ...what? What the hell gives you the right to tell me what I can and can't do?" Callie's face was flushed with fury, her eyes flashing and Arizona felt another moment of anxiety for both of them. She was provoking Callie desperately, pushing her closer to a precipice that could do untold damage.

"My love for you gives me the right. Callie, your love for me..."

Callie didn't wait to hear the rest; she grabbed Arizona by her upper arms and attempted to physically move her from the door.

Arizona, anticipating that Callie wouldn't back down easily had braced herself and rather than being pushed aside, as Callie had intended, they stumbled backwards, Arizona's back slamming against the door.

"I know you're stronger than me, but you _will _have to go through me to get out."

Callie stood and stared at her, panting slightly with exertion. Her fury showed no sign of abating and Arizona could actually hear her grind her teeth.

"Are you mad? Are you out of your fucking mind?" Callie forced the words out between clenched teeth. She took a deliberate step towards Arizona, her teeth bared.

"Do you _want _me to hurt you?" Callie gripped a handful of Arizona's shirt and forcibly dragged her away from the door, the sound of ripping cotton shocking in the quiet of the apartment. Arizona took a calculated risk, and grappled with Callie, launching herself at her, physically wrapping her arms around her and hooking her leg behind Callie's knees. She used her whole body to push against the larger woman and the momentum caused them both to crash to ground, Callie landing heavily on her ass with Arizona sprawled all over her.

"God damn it Arizona. Just leave me the hell alone." Callie screamed out loud, her lips drawn back in a snarl, her eyes venomous.

"No. I Will Not." Arizona screamed back, her forehead pressed up against Callie's, sweat, spittle and the tears that she didn't realise were falling, mingled as their thumping heartbeats pounded in tandem. Arizona could feel Callie's body trembling with unconfined rage, her skin was almost electric with emotion.

They lay there uncomfortably, their bodies twisted intimately against each other, Callie half lying back, still holding on to Arizona's tattered shirt.

Arizona pushed her face into Callie's. "You can be mad at me, scream and shout and me. You can wreak the apartment, I don't care. You're angry at me, Callie, so hit me if it makes you feel better, but I won't let you do this to yourself."

Callie's clenched fist tightened its grasp around Arizona's shirt and for the first time ever, Arizona felt a flash of fear, had she pushed Callie too far?

Perhaps Callie could read the apprehension in Arizona's eyes, perhaps the realisation of how deep her anger ran brought her back from the brink but, with an expression of disgust, Callie released her grip on Arizona's shirt.

Leaning back slightly, Arizona looked deep into Callie's eyes.

"I don't want you to go out and do something that you'll regret. Callie you'll hate yourself in the morning."

Callie looked at Arizona for a moment and then her gaze deliberately lingered on the couch, the scene of the crime, as it were.

"You think I don't hate myself already?"

Arizona's breath caught in her chest at the words, at the implication and she felt her hands go slack.

The pain of Callie words actually brought tears to her eyes. She began to disengage her arms from around Callie and changed her mind.

"You don't mean that, Callie." She clasped her hands around Callie's head and almost shook her. "You're angry and confused and hurting. You hate your predicament but you don't hate yourself. You only said that to hurt me."

Callie's eyes flickered but Arizona could tell from the set of her jaw that she wasn't backing down.

"You keep telling yourself that." Callie muttered.

"What? You hate yourself because you made out with a woman? Is that it?" Arizona felt anger overtake the hurt and laid the gauntlet down.

"You are not and have never been a homophobe; Callie and I refuse to believe that your brain injury has suddenly caused you to become one." She hardened her gaze, not allowing Callie to squirm away.

"You really want me to believe that you've got a problem with homosexuality? Callie, really? What about African Americans? You were ok with them before the coma, what about now? Bailey wanted to come over to see you, should I tell you that you're a racist now? What about Yang or me? We already know you like don't me ..."

"Shut UP. For god's sake, just...just stop." Callie burst out, gritting her teeth and trying to block the words of logic from upsetting the delicate rationale that she had created for herself.

"What is it that you want me to stop, Callie? Do you want me to stop pointing out that you're creating barriers that don't exist? Why can't you just let me love you?" Arizona continued to press her point.

"I get that you're struggling with this... with suddenly finding out that you like women now, but ..." Arizona gentled her voice aware that they were both close to breaking point. Callie didn't need this level of physical and emotional aggravation but this here was almost the fight of her life.

"Callie, tell me you find it hard. Tell me you don't know what to do. But don't try to make out that this is just about you not being attracted to women. Because it's so much more than that."

"This is about you not wanting to admit that you love me."

"I don't love you now." Callie said the words plainly. Unlike before, there was no malice, no intent to wound behind the words.

For Callie, they were a stark statement of fact.

"Fine. Whatever. But I love you." Arizona's voice rang clear, refusing to allow the pain of Callie's statement to sway her. In a perverse way, that Callie, even obliquely, was willing to acknowledge that she had _once_ loved Arizona, was progress.

"I love you, Callie and I'm not going to apologise for it. You may want to pretend it's not true and I understand that. But I love you. _I love you_," she repeated, with emphasis, willing Callie to hear her.

"And I protect the things I love. Even if that means grappling with you like a ... like a banshee, I'll do it because I'm not going to let you throw away all that we had without a single thought or regret. If you're going to go out there a have sex with the first man that crosses your path, you're going have to do it with the full knowledge that you're breaking my heart. And you'll be breaking yours too."

Callie looked at Arizona impassively.

"A banshee is some type of Irish spirit that warns of an impending death. This was more like Mil Mascaras." Callie rubbed her eyes and then blinked slowly, as if awakening from a deep sleep. Arizona could see the final remnants of her fury drain away.

She untangled her body from Arizona's and shuffled so that she was sat with her back leaning against the door and her legs outstretched in front of her.

"Going out and having sex with Mark or some other pretty boy has nothing to do with how you feel about me. You'd be doing it to prove some notion to yourself...you'd be doing it to gain some control over your life because I think, more than anything, more than me or us, what hurts you the most is the lack of control over everything, your life, your past, your emotions... even your responses... to me." Arizona hesitated, not wanting to belabour the point.

She scooted over so that she sat beside Callie, her fingers playing absently with the edges of her ripped shirt.

"Do you know that I told your father that I loved you even before I told you?"

Callie raised her eyebrows but made no comment.

"It was your first day as an attending at Seattle Grace and your dad had come out to see you with Father Kevin."

This time Callie shifted slightly, a frown wrinkling her brow.

"Wha-at? My dad _and_ Father Kevin? Came to Seattle?"

"Oh. Oh. I guess he didn't tell you that part but anyway... You'd apparently had this almighty fight with him about being gay and I found you... were upset ...you sobbed in my arms." Arizona looked into Callie's eyes and couldn't prevent her voice from hitching as she recalled Callie's distress.

"You were so hurt, so upset but you didn't even flinch, you were willing to give him up, you were willing to give up your entire family..." Arizona knew that she wasn't making much sense, there was so much that she wanted to share with Callie, so much that she wanted her to understand but there was an overwhelming feeling that words would never be enough. Callie continued to look at her, patiently waiting for Arizona to continue.

"The reason I went to speak to him that day was because of the bravery you showed. It took strength for you to love me Callie and your love, literally gave me the courage to tell your father that you were an amazing woman and that he was making a mistake cutting you out of his life.

Callie's eye's narrowed at the revelation and at Arizona's guts. Carlos Torres could be a scary man, Callie knew.

"Your dad is a pretty scary man, Callie," Arizona echoed Callie's thoughts.

"You might not get that, what with him being your father and all, but... he scares me... a lot. But it didn't matter that he could fling grown men up against a wall or get me fired, none of that mattered to me Callie, because your love gave me all the strength that I needed."

Arizona turned and faced Callie squarely, her blue eyes bright and impassioned, daring Callie to deny her.

"Your love has been the only thing that has kept me afloat all these weeks. The only thing."

"I love you, Callie, more than I can ever say. But, more than that, I love the way you love me and I just can't give that up without a fight."

"Your love ...makes me feel ...like the most cherished woman alive... you know me, my moods, ... you know that if you rub my feet a certain way, I'll roll over and beg. You know that I think Sonic the Hedgehog is a construct of the devil and that I cry every time I read Any Human Heart or remember that Dr Sam Beckett never returned home. You know my every fear and hope. You know my heart, Callie." Arizona wondered if her words had any meaning at all for Callie, but she carried on, regardless.

"As much as you want to fight this, sweetheart ... _your heart knows me_. Why do you think it is that you can only sleep at night if I'm by your side?" Callie shifted, uncomfortable at the truth of Arizona's words.

"You woke up on the couch and you were dreaming of _me_, Callie. You _wanted_ me and we both know it." Arizona watched the heat rise in Callie's face and smiled, a little sadly.

"I'm not trying to embarrass you with this and I just want you to ...to be open to the possibility of being in love with me. That's all."

Unbidden, the distant words of a long-forgotten song came to her and Arizona wished she could express her feeling as eloquently.

_I want you the right way. _

_I want you, but I want you to want me too, I want you to want me, baby. _

_Just like I want you_...

"Did you really think I'd go and have sex with Mark? You get that he's my friend, right?"

Callie's slightly sarcastic question broke her reverie.

Arizona rolled her eyes wearily.

_OK, so I clearly called that one wrong._

"He was also your booty-call supremo, Cal. He might have thought that he was helping you out."

Callie leaned her head back against the door and closed her eyes and Arizona felt her heart twist with pain.

Callie looked beaten.

Not physically but emotionally, exhaustion was written all over her face but at Arizona's words, she open one eye and pinned her with a long look.

"Booty-call supremo? Really, Arizona?"

"It's the best I could come up with." Arizona excused herself. She looked at Callie carefully, wondering what was coming next. The last 90 minutes had been extraordinarily challenging and they had gone to places they they'd never been to before.

"Callie...?" She still had her head leaned back but she opened her eyes and raised an eyebrow at Arizona.

"Tell me what you're thinking." Even as she was speaking Arizona could see the barriers come down, Callie's brown eyes turning obsidian.

"Please, tell me what you're thinking." She entreated again.

Callie didn't actually move a muscle but Arizona could sense the tension build up again and though her face was closed and unreadable, she wondered if Callie was going to actually answer truthfully.

"I'm sorry I ripped your shirt." Callie's words were quiet, without inflection. She sat up and rubbed her hands over her head.

"I'm...I'm sorry I was so violent with you. I didn't mean to hurt you, Arizona. You didn't deserve that...you don't deserve any of this." She offered Arizona a small smile and got to her feet slowly and stood for a moment looking down at the blonde.

Arizona hid her disappointment, despite laying her soul bare for Callie; she knew it was too much to expect any kind of reciprocal declaration.

Looking up, Arizona started, not realising that Callie was holding out her hand, offering to pull her up off the floor.

Placing her hand in Callie's large warm palm, Arizona came to a decision; all she could do was love her, openly and truthfully and hope for the best.

Trying to convince Callie of their past relationship was like trying to describe a rainbow to a blind person. Callie had to experience it for herself.

As Callie pulled her upright, the women exchanged a complicated look.

"Do you want get a coffee..."

"I need to clear the mess in the..."

They both spoke at the same time and then smiled a little at each other.

"Let's tidy up the bedroom, I'll change and we can go get some air, maybe catch a movie?" Arizona suggested, desperate to get over the awkwardness.

Callie nodded and hesitated for a second. She chewed her lower lip and Arizona could see her shoulders droop with dejection and unhappiness.

Arizona paused and waited for her to speak, watching the myriad of emotions chase across Callie's face.

"Tell me what's wrong, Callie...please? Just tell me." Arizona knew that she had pushed too hard today, but Callie clearly found it nigh on impossible to open up or completely trust her.

"I didn't mean to make you...I mean ... I scared you and...and ...I..." Callie paused and took a hesitant step in Arizona's direction before coming to a halt and began picking at a hang nail, her head bowed.

"I am so sorry, Arizona. There's no excuse..." She sneaked a quick look through her eye lashes and Arizona caught the sheen of tears.

"Oh god, Callie, please don't cry. Arizona wanted to pull Callie into her arms and rock her slowly until all her hurt went away.

"You were completely vulnerable and I pushed too hard..." Arizona walked up to Callie and placed her hand over Callie's restless fingers. She held on until Callie looked up at her.

"It's ok, Calliope. I promise. Alright?"

Callie nodded, dipping her head again, uncharacteristically reticent.

"You have soft lips." She stared at Arizona as she made the statement, her face a picture of confusion, embarrassment and surprise.

As her faced flushed with colour, Arizona gathered that Callie might not have intended to say the words out loud.

"I'm sorry, what?" she spoke gently and tilted her head, curious as Callie blinked rapidly, clearly trying to find a way out of the hole she just dug for herself.

"Ummmmm, it's just...I didn't know..." Callie mumbled distractedly.

Arizona looked at Callie, at the blush of her cheeks and the way she shuffled her feet and took pity on her.

"Thank you, honey. You have soft lips too."

#

"I told her she had soft lips. Who the hell does that?"

Callie wrapped a black curl around her finger and tugged hard.

"She pours her heart out to me and the absolute best I could offer was that she had soft lips. And I didn't even mean to say that to her anyway."

"You found out that Robbins has soft lips? Wow. Way to go, Torres." Mark waggled his eyebrows lasciviously at Callie.

Her eyes opened wide in shock at his double entendre and she instinctively landed a closed fist into his shoulder, even as she started laughing.

"Don't be a pig. It's not nice."

"Oww." Mark moaned as he rubbed his shoulder. Callie might have forgotten lots of things about her past but seems her penchant for knocking the stuffing out of him wasn't one of them.

"Was trying to cheer you up, Callie. You look like you need it." Mark hesitated not wanting to overstep his boundaries. "I don't pretend to know what's going on with your relationship with Robbins ..."

"We don't have a relationship...not exactly." Callie interrupted, a knee-jerk response to his words.

"Yeah ok, whatever it is, I am sorry for barging in like that...I know it must have upset the balance..."

"Frankly, I should be thanking you," she looked up at him. "You know ... for stopping me ... bringing me to my senses."

"Callie..." Mark looked at her, a little surpried.

"I know you don't want to talk about things and I know that without your memories things are tricky with Robbins but..."

"But what, Mark? Are you going to tell me how much she loves me, how hard this is for her?"

"Well... a little bit ..." Mark frowned not following her train of thought.

"What about me?" Callie bounced on the balls of her feet and played with the fruit on the breakfast bar.

"Huh? This _is_ all about you, well you and Arizona ...but..."

"No, Mark. This is for the person I used to be. It's not who I am now. I'm Tuvik and no one wants to see that."

Mark crinkled his forehead, baffled.

"You're ... who?" He shook his head, thinking that he'd misheard her. "You're...huh, say again?"

"It's like that episode of Voyager where Tuvok and Neelix get merged in the transporter and this new guy, Tuvik is formed and he is a person in his own right. A new personality and all Janeway wanted was to have Tuvok back, so she killed Tuvik." Callie drew a breath.

Mark blinked hard, trying to keep up. He was used to Callie's tangential rants but this one left him with nothing.

"Nobody's trying to kill anyone, Torres. We're all just trying to help." His voice was soothing and it pissed her off.

"You're all trying to help. Yeah, I know. How great I was. How much in love I was ... all that. What about now? What about who I am?" She flung her hands up.

"Does that not matter to anyone? I'm lost. I am floundering, Mark. I don't know who I am anymore and all anyone tells me is who I was. Who I _used_ to be."

Callie took a breath to try and explain things better.

"Mark, Arizona is a wonderful person and though I'm doing a pretty piss poor job of showing it, I am grateful for everything she done for me. And I'll admit that...she's ...very attractive. But it's not enough just to...to... resume ... ummmm ...intimacy with her simply because ...well ...

"She's hot and you were lusting after her?" Mark offered wickedly a grin spreading over his face.

"You think this is funny, don't you? Or pathetic..." Callie tugged at her curl again but stopped when she realised that she was pulling on scar tissue from one of her shunts.

"A beautiful woman is in love with me and I can't run fast enough in the opposite direction." Callie chewed her lip and threw a glance in Mark's direction.

"What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I be more like you? A woman wants you, you don't say no, you don't question it...you just enjoy it."

"Sure and in the morning I can't remember her name. "Look, I don't want you to think that I'm taking her side; I just want to see you happy. And you guys were happy together."

Callie shook her head.

"Mark, nothing makes sense. I can't get any of the pieces to fit and I'm driving both of us insane. She shouldn't have to deal with my crap right now."

"Cal ..." Mark didn't know what to say.

"She loves you, Callie. Just let her love you."

#

Callie was supposed to be watching the news.

The daily dose of financial gloom, global misery and inane prattle failed to hold her attention, even though her eyes were fixed to the TV.

Even particle of her attention was fixed on Arizona, who was sitting at the other end of the sofa reading a novel.

They had spent a weird evening strolling through the almost empty halls of the Seattle Art Museum, barely sharing a word as they took in some of Picasso's famous works. Callie had felt the shame of her earlier behaviour burn through the whole time and couldn't look Arizona in the face.

She was tired and cranky and wanted to go to bed and curl up in a ball and wake up when she had her memories back.

But of course, for her to actually get to sleep, she needed Arizona.

And Callie kind of felt that she'd forfeited the right to ask or expect anything from Arizona after nearly tearing her to pieces.

Unconsciously she twisted her hands together, a frown on her forehead as she tried to unpick the events of the day.

Callie frowned as she realised that it actually hurt her head to try and work out where the hell she was. It felt like she was getting worse rather than better, she hadn't had a flashback or snippet of a memory in days and she _really_ didn't want to go anywhere near her dreams of the afternoon and the resulting contrempts was something best left to a professional to resolve.

Not that Wyatt was likely to be of much use. She seemed to subscribe to the 'let the patient work it out on their own' school of thought.

Callie blinked, her eyes dry from staring, unblinking at the TV. Arizona was taking an inordinate amount of time reading that one page and Callie wondered whether was actually reading or merely pretending to be busy.

Without thinking, she stood up and looked down at the blonde.

"I'm tired...over-tired and I'm cranky." She announced, already regretting opening her mouth. She wasn't a masochist but a certain amount of suffering wouldn't really go amiss. She deserved to suffer.

Arizona looked up at her, her blue eyes a little shadowed with tiredness. It had been a long stressful evening for both of them.

Callie felt her shoulders sag and she let out the air in her lungs.

"I ... umm, after today, I've no right to ask you anything but Arizona, would you...would you please come to bed with me?"

Callie saw the immediate frown that came to Arizona's face and swallowed her disappointment. She couldn't really blame Arizona for being hesitant to be that close to her.

"I'm sorry I asked...it's totally ok. I..."

"Calliope, hush." Arizona tossed her book aside and got to her feet. She tilted her head to one side and smiled.

"Callie, why would you think you even need to ask?" She shrugged lightly, dismissing Callie fears with a disarmingly dimpled smile. She held her hand out.

"Come on, let's go to bed."

Callie realised that her emotions were very close to the surface because the simple gesture and sweet smile from Arizona made her want to cry.

"_I protect the things I love."_

As they made their way to their bedroom, Callie reflected on Arizona's words. It seemed she took them seriously.

#

She had a mild headache and despite her earlier tiredness, sleep was obstinately staying away. Callie's had her eyes closed and listened to Arizona's slow deep breaths and despite herself, smiled.

Carefully turning on to her side, she looked at the sleeping woman in the dim light of the bedside lamp.

She made the most adorable snuffling sounds in her sleep and Callie found herself smiling a little at the sight of Arizona with her hair in her face and her soft pink lips gently parted as she slept.

She was courageous.

Mad as all hell for physically taking her on but Callie couldn't deny Arizona's strength of conviction in their relationship.

Conflicted didn't even begin to cover it.

How could she handle so much love from one woman, when she didn't know how she could have earned it?

Callie's eyes roamed Arizona's features as the thoughts raced through her head.

Based on her behaviour today, Callie wondered if she could have ever deserved this level of devotion from such an extraordinary woman.

Her hand reached out and Callie used a single finger to lift a strand of soft dark honey-blonde blonde hair away from Arizona's sleeping face. Callie studied the face intently, as if trying to glean the meaning of her life from the face in repose. Her eyelashes were dark brown and curled sweetly. Callie lightly traced one eyebrow, and feeling a sudden compulsion to feel more, stroked her back of her fingers against Arizona's cheek.

Arizona opened her eyes and stared directly at Callie, her blue eyes peircing.

Callie held her breath, heat flooding her face.

Slobbering over Arizona while she slept really wasn't cool and she had no idea how she was going to explain herself but she was let off the hook when she quickly realised that Arizona was still asleep.

"You're gorgeous, darling." Arizona muttered as her eyes closed again and a small bubble of laughter welled up in Callie's throat.

"You're gorgeous too, Arizona."

She closed her eyes, the sweet face of the woman that loved and protected her, burned into her retina.

_**TBC**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Who would have thought it? I'm as addicted to this story as you are and couldn't stay away.**_

_**Thanks so much for all the kind words and positive feedback. It's a really great feeling to know that you're enjoying the story. **_

_**I will try to update soon... well, at least within the next 4 weeks, maybe... but I promise that I'll do my best.**_

_**Please pardon the crap Spanish.**_

_**xx**_

**_14_**

* * *

Callie opened her eyes

As she woke up she was simultaneously aware of several things.

Her heart was pounding from a dream that had woken her and Arizona had snuggled up to Callie in her sleep and was half sprawled over her.

It was the first time it had happened since they'd started sharing a bed and for whatever reason it had Callie was glad of it. Her dream had been unsettling and had left her feeling cold and bereft and very, very frightened. It was a completely different feeling from the drowning nightmare, if anything, this dream felt real and Callie briefly wondered if it was a memory rather than a dream.

She could feel her heart race and felt a little sick, her arm, which appeared to be holding Arizona close to her side, tightened, like she was clinging to a life line.

The dream had scared her in a way that didn't make sense but Callie didn't want to analyse the dream or try to understand what it meant. She wanted the bright sharp images out of her head and hateful words to dissipate and instead, focused on the woman who had inveigled her way into Callie arms during the night.

Arizona was half sprawled on Callie, her face pressed into the crook between Callie's neck and shoulder, her breath was warm on Callie's neck and it tickled, just a little.

Callie couldn't help but notice the softness of Arizona's breasts, pressed up against her side or the firmness and muscle tone of the leg that she flung over and somehow snugly settled between Callie's thighs. Callie's hand was settled on the small of Arizona's back perilously close to her ass and Callie could feel her fingers twitch with the desire to cup the pert derrière.

Her blonde hair trailed all over Callie's chest and, something Callie was acutely aware of, one of her hands was loosely flexed around one of Callie's breasts.

_This is all kinds of wrong._

Callie knew that if she didn't do something pretty damned quickly, she was going to find herself in the exact same spot as a few days ago after that frigging vampire dream.

Even as she contemplated making a move, a section of her brain began playing devil's advocate.

Surely there was no harm in enjoying the warmth and comfort offered by Arizona's form? Who was it hurting? All she had to do was lay there for a while, let the residual fear of her dream...nightmare be washed away by the sheer decadence of Arizona's lithe body.

Callie felt her nipples tighten, simply at the thought of staying in bed a little longer and immediately began inching her way out of bed.

_Please don't wake up. Please don't wake up. Please don't wake up. Please don't wake up. _

Callie repeated the mantra silently as she shimmied her way out of bed, slowly pulling her arm free and untangling the blonde hair from the straps of the tank top she wore to bed.

As Callie finally got herself free, she sent a prayer of thanks up to the heavens. It had been some feat not to have woken Arizona. Callie decided that she'd take to opportunity to make Arizona a big breakfast, it would keep her out of trouble and cool her awakening and inconvenient libido.

#

Arizona kept her breathing deep and even as she listened to Callie pull on some clothes and leave the bedroom.

Once the coast was clear, she flopped on her back and pulled in a deep breath.

She had no idea when she had snuggled into Callie's warmth during the night but barring the odd 20 seconds that she'd kissed Callie a day before, waking up in Callie's arms had been the single best thing to have happened in a very long time.

It had been a sheer delight to have woken up in such a familiar position and Arizona wanted to savour it, the feel of Callie's lush body intimately entwined with hers, the firm luscious breast under her palm, she had almost cried out as she felt the nipple harden under her hand. But Callie's physical response, notwithstanding, Arizona couldn't ignore the fact that she had got out of bed as quickly as possible.

Arizona kept her eyes closed for second.

_Callie, darling, what are you so scared of?_

#

Callie swallowed hard and kept her eyes lowered and firmly fixed on the fruit she was chopping as she heard Arizona come out of the bedroom.

She could feel warmth fill her cheeks as she remembered their earlier intimacy and repeated the instructions she had given herself. _Just kept it friendly and simple._ _Arizona doesn't know about this morning and you don't need to tell her. She's still your friend and you like being around her. Just keep it friendly and simple. Friendly and simple._

"Good Morning Calliope." Arizona flashed a dimpled grin at Callie.

_Shit._

Callie licked her lips and forced a smile to her mouth, her eyelashes fluttering, transfixed at the vision standing before her. She felt her cheeks grow a little warmer.

Arizona had just come out of the shower and was wrapped in a fluffy towel, her shoulders and back pebbled with drops of moisture and her damp hair, flowing like sweet dark acacia honey lay against her bare back.

"Uh...ummm, hey...morning..." Callie's tongue felt thick in her mouth and faintly, she could hear the drivel coming from her.

_Fuck._

Callie swallowed hard and blinked a few times, trying to tear her eyes away from the pink and creamy white skin. Arizona's muscle definition was apparent in her arms and shoulders and Callie was surprised that she had never noticed it before. The curve of each breast was visible and as Arizona grinned again and reached for the cup of coffee that Callie had already poured for her, Callie felt her heart and libido hike up dramatically.

"Wow, I can see you've been busy. Are you trying to fatten me up or something?" Arizona smiled and took a sip of her coffee. She closed her eyes for a second, enjoying the flavour and aroma of the freshly ground java.

_Callie, you make my coffee exactly the way I like it, every time, without me needing to tell you how. I know you're in there, baby._

Her blue eyes opened to find Callie still staring at her intently. She hadn't planned on being deliberately provocative but perhaps it wasn't a bad thing to let Callie see what she was missing.

"Ummm ... fatten you... no, no ... you don't need any...I mean you're..." Realising where her mouth was taking her, Callie snapped her gob shut, pulled her eyes away from Arizona's delectable and highly visible body and began serving her a bowl of fruit and granola with yoghurt.

"I figured since you were back at work today, you needed a good breakfast." She kept her eyes on her hands and passed the bowl over without looking up.

"Did you sleep ok?" Arizona asked innocently.

Callie's hands stilled for a moment. Slowly she took a large gulp of her coffee.

"Umm, yes thanks. You?"

_I really wish I didn't just ask that. _

Callie inwardly rolled her eyes and made herself busy serving up some crispy bacon and a very small portion of scrambled eggs.

"Mmmmmm. I slept...fantastically." Arizona wriggled her shoulders luxuriantly, her blue eyes sparkling with devilry at Callie's burning cheeks.

_Goddamn it, she knows_.

Callie felt the fire in her cheeks and pushed the plate over to Arizona, determined not to make eye contact.

"What's...what's on your docket today?" Callie buttered some toast for Arizona and steered to conversation away from contentious issues, like the fact they had apparently spent half the night in each other's arms.

Arizona ate her cereal and examined Callie's bowed head. No way was she going to talk about their early morning snuggle.

"Light day, really. No surgery planned. Catch up on paper work, budget meetings and I'll see any of my long-term kids." She shrugged lightly.

This time Callie did look up, a wistful expression on her face.

"I'm sorry I kept you away from your patients for so long..."

"Cal, don't be ridiculous, you make it sound like..." Arizona narrowed her eyes, seeing guilt and discomfort on Callie face. They had achieved a small measure of closeness since their fight and she didn't want Callie backtracking to the impersonal politeness of a few weeks ago.

"You're doing so much better, physically and it's only a matter of time before more of your memories come back. You don't need to be sorry and you don't need to thank me. Ok? Now are you going to share this with me because there's no way I'm eating this plate by myself."

#

"Oh my god, Callie. My darling girl. What did they do to your poor hair?"

Callie blinked and looked up at the sound of a disembodied voice, her head swinging wildly around the room in shock.

"Huh?"

She was sitting at Arizona's open laptop, surfing the net when she heard the mature feminine voice.

"Sweetheart, can't you see me? It's Mary, I'm on skype, my camera must have died, hold on I'll just reboot."

"Umm ok." Callie peered at the screen, realising that Arizona had an open connection that she hadn't noticed when she sneaked on line while Arizona was out.

The resolution of the screen gave her headaches and for the time being, her computer time was limited and she used up her 20 minute a day allowance reading Twitter updates from Aria.

A browser window popped up and an image of a woman appeared.

"Oh my god, you must be Arizona's mother." Callie blurted out, stunned at the resemblance. The clear blue eyes, dimples and amused expression stopped Callie in her tracks.

"Uh, hi Mrs Robbins..." Callie dried up a little at the sight of Arizona's mother dabbing her eyes.

"I'm sorry..." Realising that apologising that she didn't remember her might not be the best way forward, she decided to try and reassure instead.

"I'm ...I'm better, Mrs Robbins. I'm much better, now...I promise...I mean my memories aren't back yet...but...I'm getting better."

Mary reached out her hand, as if to touch Callie but pulled back and smiled a small smile.

"You call me Mary, sweetheart and I'm just so glad to see you after all the pair of you have been through."

"Thank you." Callie didn't know what they usually talked about so she stuck to the one thing she knew they both had in common.

"Arizona's not here right now. She's back at work full time now but I think her shift is due to end pretty soon."

"I know, honey, she called me earlier. I called to speak to you, Callie. Arizona said you'd probably be on-line."

"Oh. Oh. Right." Callie frowned. How the hell did Arizona know that?

"She says to tell you that you're busted, by the way." Mary smiled at Callie's expression.

"Great. She's going to send me to bed without any supper." Callie smiled, warming to the relaxed woman.

"Well, considering the way Arizona cooks, that shouldn't be a new experience for you, Cal."

Callie opened her mouth in shock and then started laughing, amused at the woman's resigned assessment of her daughter's culinary skills.

"She hasn't been too bad, she makes some really nice soups." Callie defended Arizona, still grinning.

"That's only because you taught her how...I could never get her to stay in the kitchen more than 5 minutes at a time when she was growing up." Mary mourned, the twinkle in her blue eyes belying her tone.

"I taught Arizona how to cook?"

"Teaching Arizona how to cook was a little too ambitious. No, you taught her how to steam, season and blend vegetables. Believe me that was enough, her father and I were so impressed, we wanted to get you nominated for a Nobel Prize but the folks in Norway never got back to us."

By this time Callie was giggling delightedly at Mary's banter, her initial trepidation at talking to Arizona's mother gone.

"Actually, that's kind of why I wanted to speak to you. That and to see for myself how you're getting on." Mary paused and looked closely at Callie as if trying to choose her words.

"I'm sending you a little present Callie, it's a cookbook and...it's something...I wanted you to have it Callie." Mary leaned forward and Callie could almost see the tears in the older woman's eyes.

"I know you probably don't remember this, Callie but we used to talk about cooking and baking all the time. According to Arizona, you're a wonderful cook, and you've tried out a few of my recipes and I figured that some of these recipes might interest you."

"That's incredibly nice of you, Mary. Thank you," she smiled shyly.

"I never used to cook very much, not...well, before. But I made a pretty decent cottage pie a few days ago and a Cajun chicken casserole..."

"Arizona's favourite." Mary laughed.

"I've never seen anyone eat 3 servings in the one sitting; I swear I thought she was going to burst."

"She used to do that at home as well, her father was convinced that she'd literally eat us of house and home."

"But I don't get where she puts it...she's so slender."

"Oh, Danny was always positive that she was part human, part cow and had an extra stomach to handle all the food she put away."

The women were still laughing when Arizona let herself into the apartment.

The sound of her mother and Callie laughing was familiar and sorely missed music to her ears and she walked up to Callie and bent over her shoulder to peer at the image of her mother, the ends of her blonde hair trailing over Callie's shoulders.

"Hey Mom, I told you Callie would be on-line." She greeted her mother cheerfully, taking a mischievous sidelong look at Callie.

Callie smile faded slightly at Arizona's closeness.

It unsettled her in a way that she didn't want to explore.

Arizona's blonde hair tickled Callie's cheek and carried the scent of fresh air and sunshine with it. She wasn't sure if it was deliberate or not but one of Arizona's hands rested on Callie's shoulder and her fingers were gently kneading her shoulder.

After the events of yesterday and this morning, Callie had expected to be on edge around Arizona, but probably, for the first time since she'd come home, she'd actually felt almost comfortable, relaxed even in Arizona's presence. Her closeness right now _was_ unnerving, but not awkward or claustrophobic. Her hand was warm and Callie could feel the imprint of each finger.

"So, what are my two favourite girls laughing about?" Arizona's bright eyes traced Callie's smile before turning to her mother. Callie's shoulder was firm under her finger tips and she could feel muscle ripple slightly as she massaged the flesh.

Callie dropped her gaze and hid a grin at Arizona's question, unable to contain her amusement as Mary blithely lied.

"Oh, we're just complementing your cooking skills, darling."

"Cute." Arizona narrowed her eyes and pouted at her mom, unable to hide the twinkle in her eyes.

"See, I told you she was up and about." Arizona turned to Callie, her hand moving from her shoulder to curl around Callie's bare nape.

"Mom wouldn't believe me when I told her you were physically so such better."

"But her hair, Arizona, they cut off all of her lovely black hair." Mary wailed plaintively.

"Mary, I promise you, it'll grow back in no time," Callie rushed to reassure the woman, whom she didn't know in the slightest but had warmed to her instinctively.

She turned to look up at Arizona.

"Tell her how often I need to get it cut..." Callie trailed off as Arizona sharply turned her face away.

"It's true, Mom. Calliope's hair grows like grass in summer, she's always complaining about it. As much as I like this avant garde rock chick look, it'll be flowing down her shoulders in a few months." Arizona fixed her gaze on her mother's face on the computer screen, fully aware that she had almost given herself away to Callie moments before. She had been staring at Callie with adoration and longing and knew that her emotions would have been plastered all over her face.

If yesterday had taught her anything, it was that Callie wasn't able to handle the passion that simmered between them and making it glaringly obvious of how much she yearned for Callie, wasn't going to make things any easier.

Even now, Arizona knew that placing her hand on Callie's bare warm nape wasn't a smart move, she was sorely tempted to bend down and drop open-mouthed kisses on the skin of Callie's shoulder, in truth, she wanted to do a whole lot more. But Arizona contented herself with a relatively chaste caress.

"Your mom was telling me that she wanted to send me a recipe book, it might add some variety to my cooking."

"Recipe book?" Arizona smiled but a small frown appeared on her forehead.

"Hmmm, I thought Callie would like Nonna's old recipe book, she'd do wonders with some of those old recipes, don't you think?"

"Nonna's cook book?" Arizona repeated faintly.

Callie's gaze moved from Arizona's face to her mothers. She felt that there was some subtext that she was completely missing, but didn't like to ask.

"Mom?" Arizona had a peculiar expression on her face and her hand tightened slightly on Callie's neck.

"Is...is everything alright...I mean...Mary you don't need to ..." Callie interjected.

"No, Calliope. I want you to have this, Daniel and I both do." Mary interrupted, her voice firm. She leaned forward in her seat.

"It was going to be a...a...birthday present for you, Callie. But we wanted you to have it now, instead."

Arizona forced a bright smile to her face, seemingly avoiding Callie's confusion. "That's great, Mom. Callie will be able to try some of those recipes on me pretty soon."

Mother and daughter exchange a complicated look that Callie simply couldn't decipher.

"Anyway, my darlings I have to go. Callie, it's wonderful to see you again and I hope I'll chat to you soon, ok?"

"OK, Mary." Callie smiled warmly. Despite the slight tension emanating from Arizona, she had enjoyed talking to Mary.

"Talk to you tomorrow, sweetheart." Mary blew a kiss at her daughter and signed off.

"You really shouldn't be on the computer, Calliope, you know that, right?" Arizona looked down at Callie, staring into the confusion in her big brown eyes and found herself sinking into the warm depths, wanting nothing more than to lower her head and kiss Callie's full mouth.

"What was all that about?" Callie's brow wrinkled slightly at the somewhat dazed expression on Arizona's face.

Arizona straightened up and cleared her throat, thinking of how to answer. Her hand dropped away from Callie's neck and immediately itched with the desire to go back and continue caressing her skin.

"Hmm?" Arizona queried innocently.

"C'mon, tell me. You want me to trust you more, so tell why this cook book is such a big deal." Callie was slightly distracted by the fact that she missed the warmth of Arizona's hand.

"It's not...well..." the lie dried up in her throat.

Noona's cook book had belonged to Mary's great grandmother and had been handed down to the daughters of the Kincaid family for 3 generations.

Arizona could clearly remember the conversation she had with her mother over ten years ago.

Resigned at Arizona's lack of interest in cooking, Mary had said that she'd give it to the first woman smart enough or dumb enough to marry her; at least that way the family tradition could carry on.

At her mother's offer, Arizona was stunned to realise that Callie might have actually spoken to her parents about marriage.

The thought saddened her. Would they ever get back to that point again?

"Callie, if I'm perfectly honest with you, I really think this is about something you discussed with Mom." Arizona dropped her eyes, she wasn't lying, not exactly but didn't think this was the time for the blunt honesty.

"I'm not entirely sure why she's sending you the cook book but, like she said it might be just an early birthday present."

Callie narrowed her eyes at Arizona's stoic response.

"Really?"

Arizona shrugged.

"Hon, I don't know. Give Mom a call if you're that bothered about it."

"Now, talking about food, why don't we see about some lunch?"

#

"You look exhausted, busy day?"

Callie looked up at Arizona as she flopped down on the couch, dumping her coat on the floor, her briefcase, carelessly slung aside. She leaned her head back and drew a breath.

"I'm a little tired, I guess," Arizona replied.

Callie closed her book and stood up.

"Why don't I get you some dinner and you can tell me about what you got up to. You hungry?"

Arizona shook her head wordlessly, her eyes still closed. She didn't move when she felt Callie untie her trainers and take each one off her feet. She gritted her teeth as the familiar foot massage began. After today, this day at work with this disease, the familiarity was just too much and just far too little. She pulled her foot out of Callie grasp.

"Please don't."

She felt the couch dip as Callie sat beside her.

"Hey... what's wrong? Did you lose one of your kids?" Callie placed a warm hand on Arizona's knee, gently gripping it.

Try as she might to hold them back, Arizona knew that the tears would come and felt them seep under her closed eyelids.

"Arizona, tell me."

Sitting up straight, Arizona avoided but took some comfort from the concern on Callie's face as she scrubbed her hands over her eyes.

"It's nothing, not really. I had this little girl today, Josie Miller. She had short-gut syndrome and... and it reminded me of a little boy I lost a while back."

Callie had moved closer and had placed a hand on Arizona's back, slowly, rhythmically stroking her.

"Ok, but you were able to save Josie, right?"

Arizona nodded, leaning forward and burying her head in her hands.

"What was the little boy's name, Arizona?" Callie moved her hand under the fall of blonde hair and wrapped her hand around Arizona's nape, trying to offer what comfort she could. There was more to this than the memory of a lost patient and maybe it might help Arizona to talk about it, even just a little.

"His name was Wallace." Arizona's voice was muffled.

"Why was Wallace so special? I mean, of course all of your kids are special and to lose one is always a terrible experience but ..." She trailed off, not really sure what she asking and not wanting to make Arizona analyse her distress for fear of upsetting her further.

Callie leaned over and used her other hand to draw aside the curtain of blonde hair obscuring Arizona's face.

"Look, Arizona, forget I asked. You've been running on pure adrenaline for weeks now and I know you've had very little support, you've managed everything on your own and I know I haven't been easy." Callie pulled a strand of blonde hair, wrapping around her fingers.

"Scratch that. We both know I've been hell to look after and I bet you've been wanting to dump me in the nearest cement mixer ever since I got home."

Despite herself, Arizona snorted a burst of laughter at Callie's words.

Remembering Wallace made her remember the first time she'd had the guts to tell Callie how she felt about her. Seeing her all sleepy and sexy with doughnuts and lingerie and that silly red hat, Arizona hadn't been able to help herself. It had been one of the saddest and yet happiest days of her life and today, the thought that she simply didn't know if Callie would ever remember how much they loved each other had been brought home by the memory of their first shared declaration of love.

The snort of laughter transmuted into a sob as Arizona couldn't hold her pain within any longer. She cried into her open hands and felt Callie drag her into her warm embrace and rock her gently.

_No llores, mi corazón.__no llores__. Las cosas serán mejores. P__or favor no llores amor.__Me duele verte tan triste._

Arizona wept her tears of fear and frustration and sheer hopelessness into Callie, her arms flung around her neck and her face buried in the warm crook of her neck, the scent of jasmine in her nostrils.

There was a portion of her brain that wondered if Callie was strong enough to withstand this torrent of emotion but the thought fled as Callie gripped her tighter and then scooped her up and settled her into her lap, her arms still holding her tight.

"It's ok, Arizona. It'll be ok." She crooned quietly, her face nuzzled into Arizona's hair, hoping somehow to offer comfort.

Callie knew that she had been insensitive for most the time since she woke from her coma. She had been so invested in _her_ pain and _her_ loss and grief that she had barely spared a thought for Arizona. Callie recognised that she hadn't been a complete monster all of the time but it had been their physical confrontation that had brought home how far Arizona was willing to go, how much she was willing to endure to save their relationship.

This wave of emotion spilling out of the normally upbeat and annoyingly cheerful woman wasn't entirely unexpected and Callie swallowed hard, trying to keep her own emotions at bay.

It hurt, unbelievably.

Badly.

The sound of Arizona's broken sobs gripped Callie's heart and squeezed hard.

"Baby, please don't cry." She whispered into Arizona's hair, hardly aware of her words or the tenderness within which they were steeped.

"I don't know how to make you better but baby, things will get better, I prom..." Callie gritted her teeth and held the words back. She knew what would make Arizona better and she had no right promising something she didn't know how to deliver.

"Hush, hush darling, hush. What do you want be to do? Can I get you something?"

Arizona had quietened, her sobs reduced to the occasional hiccup but her arms were still wrapped around Callie's neck, one hand stroking through the short soft curls.

"Callie, I just want to you hold me, right now. Don't let go. _Don't let me go._"

"Do you want me to take you to bed? Would you be more comfortable?"

Arizona's heart leapt at the question even though she knew it was meant it as a chaste and friendly offer. But to feel Callie laying with her and holding her was all she could hope for and she nodded silently, scared that the tears would come again.

Without a word Callie got to her feet and carried Arizona through to the bedroom.

After putting Arizona down, Callie shugged off her jeans and crawled into bed beside the exhausted woman.

Leaning over her, Callie stroked her face, staring into the shadowed eyes. Her pain was clearly visible and Callie looked away, afraid that she would start to cry herself.

"I should get you some water and an aspirin; you'll have a headache..."

"I don't need it ...just hold me? I just need you to hold me." Arizona asked. She was drained and though the pain was still there, the warmth of Callie's embrace had melted it, just a little bit.

Callie lay down and without a word rolled Arizona to her side, facing away from her and curled her body protectively around Arizona's, spooning her, her arm laying across her middle, anchoring their bodies together.

Callie nuzzled Arizona's ear and ever so quietly began telling Arizona a story. A simple child's tale that she had learnt from her grandmother.

Arizona couldn't understand the words but the comfort and love that filled every sentence needed no translation and she finally fell asleep, knowing that even though Callie wouldn't promise to make things better , in her own way, she was doing exactly that.

#

"You know that you make my coffee perfectly. Every time."

Arizona looked at Callie and offered a small smile.

She did have a headache after her crying jag last night but she hadn't been able to bear the thought of Callie letting her go, even for a few minutes.

She felt her heart contract tightly as, without commenting on the coffee, Callie offered her two aspirin and a glass of water.

"And you can read my mind." Arizona swallowed the tablets down and stared into Callie's face. There had been so much violent emotion swirling around the last couple of days and she was uncomfortably aware that Derek had instructed her to keep things calm and quiet for Callie.

Callie smiled at her but dropped her eyes quickly.

"Callie ... I love you." Arizona said the words simply, quietly. She hadn't meant to but just like the very first time, she hadn't been able to help herself.

Callie's expression was one of pain and ...something else perhaps longing, perhaps it was something else, Arizona couldn't tell as she veiled her emotions.

"Arizona..." She sounded like she was pleading.

"I know you don't want to hear this. But I do."

"I know...Arizona, I know."

Callie came round the breakfast bar and sat on a stool beside Arizona, staring at her, a curious expression on her face.

Arizona understood that Callie wasn't going to say the words back, and kept her eyes glued to her coffee, not knowing what else to say. They were due to go to the hospital together, Arizona to start her shift, Callie to see Dr Wyatt and a consult with Derek.

"Were you kidding when you said that we first met when you found me crying at Joe's and kissed me in the bathroom?"

"Huh?" Arizona hadn't been expecting that question and for a moment her blue eyes opened wide and she looked blank.

Callie repeated her question, setting aside the warm tingle that still rippled through her at Arizona's words. She had no right to feel pleasure at the words. She knew that they were aimed at someone else. She didn't deserve them.

"Umm, well, yes, it was true...kind of." Arizona looked at Callie and smiled at her.

"Kind of?" Callie raised an eyebrow, clearly demanding a more comprehensive response and despite everything, Arizona shivered slightly. It was one of _her _Callie's expressions. It said _don't keep me waiting, woman _and she often wore it when Arizona was teasing her about sex.

Arizona swallowed and pulled mind back to the question at hand.

"Well, it was the first time we'd actually spoken, we'd never met before but I'd seen you about the hospital." A sudden blush filled her cheeks at the memories of her trying to catch a glimpse of the ortho resident .

"Yeah...and...carry on."

"So, it was my first week or so at Seattle, I didn't know many people, I was just finding my feet and one day I was bored so I decided to go to the gallery to watch whatever was on."

Arizona shifted sideways in her seat and looked at Callie, a smile forming on her lips.

"You were there with a whole team of people working on this guy that had gone through a windshield. I think he broke just about every bone in his body and that's putting it mildly, he was wreaked but anyway the trauma people did their stuff and left you to it and you just worked for hours on this guy on your own."

Callie frowned. She was damned if she could remember the case. Which wasn't exactly surprising considering her current predicament.

"I had a couple of surgeries scheduled so I left but when I was done, I came back and you were still there, the guy had coded a couple of times, you'd brought him back and went straight back to fixing his shattered body." Arizona shook her head with remembered disbelief and awe.

"You just wouldn't quit on this guy. You wouldn't stop working and you kept talking to him, coaxing him, berating him, comforting him, sometimes in English, a lot in Spanish and after, like 12 hours, you finished. You'd saved him and the crew that was left gave you a round of applause. They wheeled the guy away while you watched and then you took off your mask and laughed out loud. It...it was the most wonderful, joyous...melodic sound that I'd ever heard. It sent shivers done my spine and I knew I had to get to know you. "

Arizona looked at Callie's face as she recounted the story, Callie's dark gaze was roaming all over her face and Arizona knew that all the love she felt was written in her face. There was absolutely no way the genie was going back in the bottle.

"At the time, I didn't know about you and Erica and it didn't matter that you might be straight. It wasn't about that. I just wanted to get to know you."

"Ahh...ok." Callie was both surprised and strangely moved by Arizona's story. It would never have occurred to her that her visible love of her job would have gained her the interest of a beautiful paediatric surgeon.

"Finding out about you and Erica...was...well, shall we say...interesting for me. But..." she stopped Callie's interruption.

"But, I hadn't planned on doing anything at the time until I saw you at Joe's and it just broke my heart to see you so sad. You're completely amazing, Callie and you needed to know that. The kiss was ...a bit of a bonus." Arizona's dimples came out to play and they caught Callie eye, the way they always did.

"A bonus, huh? For whom?" Callie grinned back, unable to resist the dimples.

"Well, for both of us. I certainly enjoyed it and I didn't hear any complaints from you."

"No complaints, really? Is that right?" Callie laughed out loud at Arizona's cheek and without realising what she was doing, curled her hand around Arizona's neck and pulled her in for a kiss.

Their surprised lips bumped together slightly.

Arizona held her breath, waiting for Callie to pull away but instead, she felt her lips tentatively mould themselves against Arizona's.

She felt her breath hitch and was scared to move, lest she scare Callie away.

Callie knew what she was doing was dangerous.

She knew what she was doesn't wasn't sensible and was probably unfair to Arizona, but she couldn't stop herself.

"Your lips are so soft," she mumbled against Arizona's mouth.

She pulled back to look into Arizona's eyes. They were dark blue and questioning.

"May I kiss you?" Callie breathed the question, the warmth of her words whispering along Arizona's lips and causing goose bumps to cover her body.

She couldn't speak and just nodded mutely.

Callie's tongue stroked the underside of Arizona's lower lip and then sucked it into her mouth, her eyes lids drooping and her heart rate rising at the broken groan that came from the depths of Arizona's soul. She put her other hand up to cup Arizona's face and hold her steady as she delved deeper.

Without urgency, Callie introduced her tongue into Arizona's mouth and caressed her warm tongue, and shivered as Arizona responded by wrapping her tongue around Callie's.

Slowly Callie pulled back again, her face flushed and her breathing just a little rushed.

Her mind was blank.

She smiled at the watchful Arizona, a little bemused at what she had just done.

"I trust _you_ have no complaints?"

_**TBC**_

_Translation : __Do not cry, my heart.__Don't cry.__Things will get better.__Please do not cry, love.__It hurts to see you so sad._


	15. Chapter 15

**_What can I say? I'm a sucker for this story but...and this time I really do mean it, the next update won't come for a while. _**

* * *

_**15**_

Arizona leaned back slightly and looked into Callie eyes. They were dark and amused but she could see a hint of trepidation as well, as if Callie was scared of what she had just done, of what she might have unleashed.

Arizona's arms were held rigidly by her sides, her hands curls into tight fists. During the, too brief but utterly tender, kiss, Callie had held her head firmly, lovingly, assertively as if preventing Arizona from trying to escape.

Her escaping from Callie's grasp was something that really wasn't ever going to happen.

Arizona could have died in the softness of Callie's kiss and been happy. It was all she could do not to fling her arms around her and never, ever let go.

She didn't know what the kiss meant but she would take it on face value, an unexpected gift and ask no questions and more importantly, have no expectations. Whatever Callie might be feeling right now, Arizona knew that she was still fighting their attraction on some level. Their unbelievable fight had only been a few short days ago and though it might have been a breakthrough for them; Arizona didn't need to have Wyatt's insight to know that they were still a long way from normal.

She finally found her voice.

"When you kiss me like that, Callie, I have no complaints whatsoever." She kept her words light, flirtatious perhaps, but nothing to scare Callie or ratchet up the tension. Arizona was aware that what she felt right now wasn't sexual desire; she didn't want to rip Callie's clothes off and take her passionately on the kitchen floor. Well she did...but not this very minute. Right now her heart was over-flowing with an abundance of love for the suddenly shy woman still so close to her, her warms hands cupping Arizona's cheeks.

_Calliope Iphegenia Torres. Seriously, how dumb can you get? You __**know **__this is a mistake. _

Her eyes flittered back down to Arizona's soft pink lips; she could see the tip of her moist tongue and felt something stir within her.

It _was_ a mistake. A beautiful mistake and one she wanted to make all over again.

The taste of Arizona was something she knew she could get used to, no question.

They were pulled out of their contemplation of each other by Callie's phone ringing, a jarring sound that made both women jump slightly.

"Saved by the bell," Arizona moved away and smiled, slightly mocking Callie's flustered movements.

Callie picked up her phone but held Arizona's gaze head on for a beat, ignoring the insistent ringing.

"Who said I wanted to be saved?"

As Callie took her call, Arizona felt the blood rush to her face at Callie's challenge. _Now_ she could feel sexual desire for Callie unravel within her as the woman spoke quietly into her phone.

She wanted, desperately, to throw caution to the winds and sink into Callie's warm luscious body. She wanted to teach her all the things she might have forgotten about loving a woman and oh sweet Jesus, she wanted to be reacquainted with Callie's touch, her mouth on her bare skin, her fingers thrusting deeply...

_Whoa, there. Steady on, girl. You've already got her naked and writhing under you? Get a grip. It was just one kiss._

Arizona tried to give herself a stern talking to, but kind of ruined the effect by almost melting on her stool at the thought of a naked Callie writhing under her.

"It looks like I won't be coming into work with you after all. That was Wyatt's PA. She's had to reschedule for later in the week." Callie words reached Arizona through the haze of her fantasy; she had just got to the bit where her mouth was avidly sucking on one of Callie's firm brown nipples and jumped guiltily at Callie's voice.

"Oh...right...good...I mean. ...I'm sorry ... what did you say?" Arizona had never been shy about sex with Callie, but things were a little delicate now and allowing her suddenly rampant libido and inventive imagination take hold probably wasn't the best thing for either of them right now.

Even if Callie was willing, Arizona knew that their relationship could be set back even further if they made love now and Callie regretted it afterwards.

_If they made love now? I said slow down. IT WAS ONE KISS, GODDAMN IT._

Arizona swallowed hard and looked into Callie's amused face and felt her face burn.

_Please don't tell me you remembered how to read my mind. Please. _

"So... so Wyatt's rescheduled huh? What time's your appointment with Derek?" Arizona played with the remnants of her Full English and avoided Callie's knowing look.

"Not for a couple of hours," Callie replied absently, her eyes taking in Arizona's slightly flushed face, darkened Azure eyes and the rapid pulse she could see fluttering at the base of her throat.

The realisation that Arizona's arousal was just for her filled Callie with wonder.

That this beautiful, accomplished woman both loved and desired her was nothing short of a miracle and Callie felt her stomach tighten in response even as her brain went into over drive.

It was too soon. It was far too soon for her to even contemplate ... what she was contemplating right now.

And as if by unspoken consent, both women, regretfully, backed away from the precipice and shared a smile.

There was something in their smile that said...soon. Very soon.

"So..."Callie said taking a sip from her cooling coffee.

"So, I guess I'll see you later, maybe we can have lunch, not in the cafeteria... somewhere else?" Arizona suggested.

"Lunch? That's a great idea." Callie literally beamed at Arizona who blinked, slightly stunned at the mega-wattage of Callie's smile.

_Lunch. That's like a second date. That's good. That's healthy and not at all too fast or inappropriate._

Callie forgot to consider how appropriate it would be to share a bed with Arizona.

#

Callie decided that she was going to the mall before her meeting with Derek. She wanted to wear something nice for her lunch date with Arizona and couldn't help but giggle, a little weak-kneed and giddy at the prospect.

She couldn't quite put her finger on why she was so excited; they'd eaten out a number of times over the last week. Perhaps the frisson of awareness that Callie had finally allowed to blossom within her was making all the difference.

She wondered if Dr Wyatt would have approved.

Maybe if they took it really, really slowly, perhaps Callie could learn to love Arizona all over again.

_Who am I kidding?_

Callie didn't want to admit it but she knew it wouldn't take much to fall in love with Arizona Robbins.

In a way, she loved her already; Callie absolutely knew that she had given away a piece of her heart when the blue-eyed angel had helped her out of her coma. Another piece had been willingly handed over when she'd held Callie's hand and helped her to sleep. Night after night. And after Arizona's Greco-Roman display; Callie was just about ready to eat out of her hand.

It was just...

That dark cloud that hovered at the edges of Callie's mind that picked away at every hint of budding happiness loomed large and, as she had done every time, she forcibly pushed the black thoughts away.

One dark thought, inevitably lead to another.

Callie didn't know if she had grown out of her insecurities over the last few years; she hoped she had but a recurring thought was how on earth she had managed to earn the love and respect of the blonde.

Callie knew it was a symptom of low self-esteem and it was an unflattering thing for Arizona, but Callie was apprehensive that she didn't deserve Arizona's devotion.

Shoving that thought away as well she left the apartment and concentrated on shopping for the perfectly understated 2nd date outfit.

#

Callie wandered about the exclusive boutiques and shops and tried to understand the compulsion that had brought her here.

She'd found a pretty top to wear over jeans; not her usual bold block colours but a vivid lilac and blue print that she thought Arizona might like.

Callie knew she needed to spend quite a bit of time with Wyatt to unpick her emotions. They were a jumble right now, but for the first time Callie didn't feel completely adrift. She had friends and family, she had a job to go back to and against all odds, she had a woman who loved her. Things could be a whole lot worse.

The session would probably be a long one.

Full of probing and difficult questions.

Callie wasn't especially fond of Dr Wyatt.

Or to be more precise, she wasn't especially fond of therapy.

But she needed to get better, she needed her licence re-instated so that she could go back to work, and as much as she hated trying to unpick what the sam hill her sub-conscious mind was playing at, she did want her memories back pronto.

She shook the thoughts of her therapist out of her head and peered through the window of a fabulous looking jewellery store.

The discreet displays of opulent gems and elegant settings brought a flash of memory to her, blinding and painful; a clashing kaleidoscope of brilliant colours streaking through her brain. Callie closed her eyes against the pain and gripped the bridge of her nose, trying to suppress the ache.

"Callie, my god, where the hell have you been?" I phoned, I emailed, I sent letters. Seriously, what..."

A young man, elegantly dressed and groomed to within an inch of his life had stepped out from the jewellery store and confronted Callie. As she looked up at him, she saw him visibly react to her appearance.

Before she could say anything to the handsome young man, he scooped her up in a gentle hug.

"Oh my God, Callie. I had no idea you were sick. I am so, so sorry."

As gentle and as sympathetic as the man sounded, Callie pulled away from the embrace after a polite second.

She smiled at him, noting his tanned olive skin, dark hair and eyes, expensive clothes and accessories. She doubted that he was a doctor at the hospital, his hands were far too smooth and he looked way too pretty, though there was that new guy with the eyes ... Callie pulled herself back to the man in front of her. She didn't recognise him, which meant that they had only met in the last 18 months or so.

"I'm really sorry," she apologised, uncomfortable having to explain herself to a stranger. But this guy, whoever he was, knew her, obviously cared about her some, she couldn't just walk away. Meeting him was another part of the puzzle that was her immediate past. He could be important.

"I don't have ... I'm not ill...I had an accident and lost some of my recent memories." She shrugged apologetically, a small pained smile on her face. "I don't know who you are."

The concern on his face deepened as she spoke and he took a deep breath when she finished.

"I'm Javier Ramirez, I work here," he indicated the jewellery shop behind them. He shot his cuff and checked the time on his very expensive timepiece and looked up at her.

"Will you ..I mean do you have time to come in and I can fill you in a little?"

"That would be great." Callie was relieved that she didn't have to ask.

He took her through the discreetly lavish store front where a few, clearly affluent and discerning customers were looking through the merchandise.

They went in one of a series of small closed off areas called consulting rooms and he sat Callie down in an equally tasteful office.

"I'll just get a few things; I won't be long, ok?" He was gentle, reassuring and Callie smiled, feeling safe with him.

She looked around, trying to capture something that told her that she had been there before, but nothing came to mind. She tried to think of what she might have wanted to buy and guessed that perhaps she had been getting gifts for Christmas or something.

Javier came back with 2 cups of espresso balanced on a box that was about a foot long and half as wide.

He placed his items down and shot Callie a glance.

"You still like strong espresso? You used to love our espresso."

Callie smiled in agreement.

"I do, in fact still love the stuff. Thank you." she took a sip and looked at Javier.

"I take it I'm a customer of yours?"

"Friends as well. I mean, I'm not a close friend exactly more of a casual hang out and have a beer type of thing. I'm your account manager here."

"I've done enough shopping in a place like this to need an account manager?" Callie knew that she'd never spent large amounts of money on jewellery.

He flashed his Patek Phillipe at her. "My commission from your last purchase got me this bad boy." He grinned, making him look like a kid. "I took you out for a beer after that to thank you and we both got pretty merry."

"You've brought a few pieces here and there before, nothing major but we started working together about 2 or 3 months ago."

Javier opened the box and brought out a number of smaller boxes.

"Working together...on what?" Callie was genuinely mystified and Javier paused, realising that he might be opening Pandora's Box.

He pulled out a sketch pad and pushed it over to Callie. "You came in with some ideas for a ring you wanted designed."

Callie slowly looked through the pages, amazement filling her at the images.

"You don't remember any of this, do you?" Javier's voice was low and sympathetic.

Callie shook her head slowly, there were dozens of different sketches and she recognised her hand writing but the drawings were a revelation to her. She didn't know what to think or feel. She had actually drawn Arizona's hand, over and over again, each drawing with a different permutation of the ring that she clearly hand in mind.

"You wanted an engagement ring for Arizona, Callie. You wanted ..." he paused and she looked at him for a second and said, "Go on, tell me the rest."

"You didn't want it too big or obvious because she wasn't that kind of a woman, but you wanted blue sapphires to match her eyes and red rubies for her heart."

He pushed a ring box over at her. "You were hoping that it would be ready in time for December, you were going to propose to her then, Callie."

Callie slowly opened the box and stared at the beautiful piece that glittered up at her. There was a single central sapphire, flanked by two rubies and a cluster of smaller diamonds circled the main arrangement.

It was spectacular.

She realised that Javier was still speaking, and opening the other boxes; there were accompanying pieces to go with the ring, earrings, sapphire and ruby, an impossibly beautiful but simple necklace and other more demure pieces.

"This was for her mother, and you have some other bits for your mother and sister. And cufflinks for the fathers ..."

Callie had closed her fist around the ring box and was slowly shaking her head.

How could she not remember this? How in god's earth could she not remember this?

"Callie, do you want a minute alone?"

She nodded, unable to speak, unable to look up from the array of jewels spread out before her.

Callie knew that she could be impulsive; she acted first and thought about the consequences after. She knew that she fell in love rapidly and that she would sometimes stick with things for no other reason than that she didn't want to admit defeat. She could be insecure for the dumbest of reasons. She had been known to use sex and alcohol to suppress her emotions. Her temper fluctuated between tempestuous and fiery to plain old hot-tempered, hot-headed and hot-blooded. But she could also be kind and gentle and loving.

She was all of these things and more.

But she wasn't profligate. Despite her family's wealth, despite her trust fund, Callie knew about extreme poverty and deprivation, she had chosen to work in Botswana for a year, to learn from and be humbled by people who had absolutely nothing in material wealth. She had come to Seattle Grace instead of some exclusive pampered private hospital so that she could do some good for those that needed it the most. Whatever else she might be, Callie was not frivolous with her family's hard earned fortune.

She would not have done this, spent this, on a mere girlfriend.

Callie had listened, patiently, to Mark whom she trusted some of the time, to Addision, who phoned her from frigging LA, whom she loved, even to Cristina Yang and Meredith Grey, both of whom had improbable and complicated love lives. She had listened to Arizona Robbins, whom she found mesmerising, if the truth were told and heard about the love that they had shared.

She had slowly, grudgingly began to accept the evidence of her own eyes, the evidence of her own heart that the bond that she shared with Arizona Robbins was not a fleeting one, that it was something real and strong.

Something enduring.

In front of her right now was physical proof, if she needed it, that at some point in her life, not so long ago, she had been invested, heart, body and soul into Arizona Robbins.

It told her in a manner that mere words couldn't that the pieces of her heart that she thought she was giving away, already belonged, wholly and in perpetuity to a beautiful, blue-eyed blonde angel.

#

Picking up her keys Callie was just about to head out for her appointment with Derek when she heard a knock at the door.

"Hey Mark, is that you? Where have you been, listen, you won't believe what's happened..."

Callie's excited chatter dried up as she looked at the woman standing in the doorway.

She felt the blood slowly drain away from her face and the black cloud come crashing down.

#

"Cal, you home?" Arizona called out the minute she pushed the door open.

She had left the apartment in the morning on a cloud of euphoria, happily anticipating her lunch date with a receptive and dare she say loving, Callie.

Almost everyone at work had commented on the glow about her, Teddy going so far as to discreetly ask whether she and Callie had become _reacquainted _with each other. Arizona had both giggled and blushed like a schoolgirl, all the while denying that any such activity had taken place.

But Arizona would be lying if she said she hadn't spent the morning thinking about Callie and where their new found familiarity with each other might lead.

She had been slightly alarmed when Derek came to find out why Callie had cancelled and her alarm gradually grew to frustration and almost panic when Callie finally sent a short text cancelling their lunch date.

2 back to back emergency surgeries had prevented her from phoning or rushing home until now.

"Calliope? Are you ok, Derek said that you cancelled your appointment with him and all I got was a text saying you couldn't make lunch." Arizona looked over at Callie who crumpled on the couch, a pile of opened mail on the floor beside her.

"Cal, honey, what's wrong, what happened?"

Callie looked up at Arizona as if she'd only just realised that she was no longer alone. Her face was pale and it was clear that she'd been crying, her brown eyes red-rimmed, dull and muddy.

"Arizona...I'm sorry about lunch...something came up." Her words were so flat and emotionless that Arizona felt a chill go through her. She crouched down beside Callie and caught hold of one of her hands, shocked at how frozen they felt.

"Callie, tell me what's wrong." Arizona said the words carefully, keeping her panic in check.

"Are you hurt anywhere, did you hit your head?"

Callie gently pulled her hand away and shook her head.

"I'm not hurt." A mirthless brittle laugh came from her cold lips. "_I'm_ not hurt at all."

She turned and gave Arizona a long look, it was almost pleading and Arizona closed her eyes for a second. Maybe this morning had been too much for Callie.

"Callie..."

"So, I decided to go through my mail today. Turns out we own an apartment a few floors up." Her voice was still strangely detached as she bent and picked a document from the pile and handed it to Arizona who was sitting on her heels beside Callie.

It was the title deed with both their names on it.

"But I guess you knew that already?"

Arizona nodded carefully.

"Uh huh, we, umm, we picked it out together a few months back." Arizona concentrated fiercely on the document in her hand trying to keep her breathing measured and the tremble under control. There was something very, very bad happening right now, and Arizona couldn't quite get a handle on it.

"Is...is it nice?" Callie looked at her, the faintest crack of emotion evident in her question. She sounded wistful.

Arizona nodded silently.

She couldn't allow herself to think back on that summer evening when they decided on buying the apartment. For her, for both of them, it had been another major step in their relationship and the fact that it was a memory that she could not longer share with Callie, broke her, just a little.

"Callie, you're scaring me. Please tell me what's wrong. Why did you cancel your appointment?"

"I had a visit from George's mom this morning." Callie's words trailed off and she slumped back on the couch, her arm flung over her eyes.

At her words Arizona felt her heart plummet.

She had always known that the spectre of George O'Malley would cast a shadow over their burgeoning relationship but the timing couldn't have been worse.

"She'd been away, visiting Canada and didn't get my messages." Callie didn't move her arm but seemed to read the question in Arizona's eyes and replied.

"I guess I didn't mention this, but when I woke up and they told me that ...that George ... had died, I called his mom in tears and all that. She just got my message and came to see me."

"Callie...I know this is hard for you to take in but..."

"We went to visit his grave." Callie drew in a deep decisive breath and sat up.

"He has a nice plot. Beside his Dad. Peaceful. I think he would have liked it."

"Calliope, please listen..."

Callie turned to her, her eyes still dull and lifeless.

"Arizona, the thing is, this was always going to happen. I knew that trying to push George to the background was a stupid move and hey look, I was proved right."

"Callie, it doesn't have to be this way." Arizona grasped Callie's arm, forcing her to listen.

"You're already in therapy, you can get through this..."

"Not here, I can't. Not while I'm with you."

Arizona leaned back in shock.

"I...I don't know what that means." She said the words quietly, feeling the life drain out of her. Arizona knew exactly what it meant.

Callie swallowed and turned to Arizona, suddenly almost animated.

"You've been my rock, Arizona. You've been everything to me, you saved my life..."

"If you tell me that you're indebted to me, Calliope, I swear I'll slap you." Arizona interrupted fiercely.

"Stop trying to be nice," she snapped, unable to bear the tension any longer.

"Stop trying to handle me and just tell me what's on your mind."

Callie looked at her, and then away.

"I'm going back to Miami. For a while." She said the words quietly but Callie knew that she could have screamed them to the rafters and the impact would be the same. She was crushing Arizona's heart.

And the pain was unbearable.

Arizona slowly got to her feet, utterly unable to comprehend what was happening.

"You're doing ...what?"

Callie looked at her a sliver of emotion showing through the cracking facade.

"I'm sorry...I'll only end up hurting you if I stay."

"You're hurting me _now_. Callie, you don't need to go..."

"I can't be around you right now. Not if ..._I ever want to love you properly_." Callie bit her words off at Arizona's gasp of shock. She shook her head mutely, absorbing the pain, unable to make herself clear.

Arizona stood in front of her, her face ashen.

"I don't understand, Callie. Help me to understand."

She tried to keep calm, tried not to think that everything she held dear was slipping out of her grasp.

"This morning you kissed me, not because you had some dream and were horny, not because you were scared. You kissed me Callie because you wanted to and now you just want to up and leave."

"What I'm doing is taking advantage of you and I can't do it anymore. It's not fair to either one of us."

"I love you." Arizona said, almost desperately.

Callie stared at her, for a split second an emotion blazed through.

_Oh my god, Arizona will you ever forgive me?_

She stood up and began pacing the floor, her footsteps hurried, agitated. She wouldn't meet Arizona's distressed gaze.

"Arizona I don't love you and falling into bed with you because it's familiar is wrong."

"You think I care about that?" Arizona could feel her eyes well up.

Callie was being calm and rational about this, emotionless almost. Arizona knew that she wasn't going to be able to wrestle Callie out of her decision this time and she could feel her heart slowly start to crumble.

"Calliope darling, please don't do this."

Callie stopped and this time and walked over to Arizona, placing her hands on the shorter woman's shoulders.

"Don't be careless with your heart Arizona, with your body, you deserve...you deserve so much more than I have to offer you and..."

"I want _you_, Callie. Please stay."

"I can't."

"You can't or you won't. Callie you're being stubborn." This time Arizona didn't care how far she pushed Callie

"You love me, Callie..."

"No. I don't." Callie said the words baldly, knowing that they would cut like a knife. She gentled her voice, trying hard to be kind, knowing that it wouldn't make any difference to the distraught woman standing before her. "I...I think you're wonderful and beautiful and kind."

Arizona blew her cheeks out and swung away at Callie's words. She couldn't quite grasp what was happening; her world seemed to disintegrating before her eyes. Again.

"I know it wouldn't take anything at all for me to find myself making love to you...but then what? Where would we go from there? Being with you, seeing you everyday just makes this harder...I can't think straight when I'm around you, can't you see that?"

"Goddamn it, Callie, we can work through this."

"Arizona, I'm...I'm no good for you...maybe someone...someone better ... could..."

Arizona stumbled backwards, her ashen face rapidly filling with hot furious colour, both hurt and affronted and...so incredibly angry at the suggestion.

"Don't you dare try to tell me to move on. Don't you dare Callie."

"If you're too scared to just try ...just a little bit for us then you're a coward, Calliope Torres but don't think for one minute that you can just pat me on the head and tell me to run along."

"Oh ... Arizona...I'm not. I don't want..."

"You don't want me."  
"It's not that, Arizona. It's not that simple."

"Yes it is. It is that goddamned simple. Just stay. We can work things out. Whatever it is, we can work it out."

"No Arizona. I...I'm sorry."

Arizona could see the resolution in Callie's face and felt her stomach churn. She wasn't going to change her mind. It didn't matter what she said.

"Fine. You know what, go. Do what the hell you want. Nothing I say will change your mind."

Arizona grabbed a packet of cigarettes and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

#

Arizona came back a few hours later not knowing what to expect.

Her mind was still reeling from what was, frankly, another stand up row with Callie and very seriously Arizona wondered if the level of emotional intensity that they were both going through was healthy.

The apartment was silent and Arizona's mind went blank at the thought that Callie had already left.

"Calliope?" She called out, knowing that there would be no reply.

On the kitchen bar there was a folded sheet of note paper with her name written across the page in Callie's bold loopy scrawl.

_**The first cut is the deepest, Arizona.**_

_**Every day will hurt like hell.**_

_**Every day will hurt.**_

_**And then every day **_

_**Will hurt**_

_**A little less.**_

_**I can't remember who said that but I hope it's true.**_

_**It won't hurt forever and I won't be gone forever, I promise you because, if you can believe me, I hurt as much as you.**_

_**I have to leave you right now for a while so that I don't destroy I something I believe to be beautiful and precious.**_

_**The love you have for me, Arizona and the love I know I had for you is something that should be cherished. I understand this and I'm trying to make myself whole again, Arizona.**_

_**Please, Arizona, please believe me when I say I didn't make this choice lightly. **_

_**I am so sorry.**_

_**I'll call you when my flight lands in Miami.**_

_**Callie.**_

Arizona's tears dropped on the page and made the ink weep, the words running into each other and forming a grotesque work of tragic art. She could barely see the single sheet of paper, through her blurred eyes, her hand shaking as she scanned the page again, hoping to divine some meaning other than that Callie was still leaving.

The door opened and Callie stood in the doorway, her hand on the knob, one foot in and one foot out.

Arizona looked up, aware that her face was streaked with tears.

She said nothing.

There was nothing she could have said.

"I just went to leave a note for Mark ...he's in surgery ...my flight's in an hour. I couldn't leave without saying goodbye..." Callie spoke quietly her eyes shooting to the letter in Arizona's hand.

She took a few steps in, towards Arizona, her hands half raised in supplication.

"Can you understand... will you forgive me?"

Arizona rubbed the back of her hand across her face and pulled in a deep shuddering breath.

Without saying a word, she crumpled Callie's letter into a ball and dropped it on the floor.

Her eyes flickered to Callie's face for the barest hint of a second and then she turned away to their bedroom and quietly closed the door.

**#**

Arizona looked at the ringing phone and restrained herself from picking it up and smashing it against the wall.

"What do you want, Callie?"

Arizona finally answered her mobile as it vibrated, Callie's wide sexy smile flashing up on the screen.

"I... I ummm, I just wanted to let you know that I got here ok. I wanted to ...see if you're alright." Callie voice was low, tentative. She sounded raw and husky like she had been crying forever.

"What the fuck do you care? You left, remember?" Arizona said the words bluntly, steeling herself against the onslaught of pain that she knew she would feel at the sound of Callie's voice, at the sound of her pain. She could feel her heart pound in sympathy with the throbbing in her head. She has spent the last 5 hours slowly packing, tortuously unpicking her life from Callie's and preparing to go back to her own apartment.

She heard Callie take a sharp breath at her words but Arizona couldn't allow any room in her heart for Callie's misgivings or regrets.

She had done this.

She had left.

"Please don't be angry with me Arizona...try to understand..."

"I begged you to stay, Calliope. I actually begged, I was pretty much down on my knees and you walked away from me. You turned your back and left. So no, Callie. I can't try and understand a single damned thing. You wanted to go to Miami. I'm glad you got there safely but I'm not sure that there's anything else to say."

"Arizona..." Callie pleaded.

"Look, I get it, you don't love me and you sure as hell don't want my love so, I think we're about done here. You take care of yourself."

Arizona disconnected the call and burst into tears.

**#**

Mark re-read the note and chewed his lip thoughtfully.

He had just come home after his shift had ended to find Callie's note. She had spoken to him briefly, so it wasn't a complete shock to find her gone.

Picking up his best bottle of scotch he started to cross his apartment and then remembering something Callie had mentioned in her note, hunted round his kitchen and finally came up with a box of cookies.

"Robbins...It's Mark, open up." He banged on the door, calling out loudly.

"I want to pour good-quality scotch down your throat until its numb and then you can trash-talk Callie until the cows come home." He waited a second before thumping on the door again.

"Arizona...I'm not going away."

Arizona finally wrenched the door open and despite himself, Mark took a step back at the fury in her eyes.

"Mark?" Her voice was gravelly and her eyes were red-rimmed. He could tell that she was hanging by very little.

"I'm not going to tell you what she said...at least not right now because I don't think you want to hear it..." he started carefully, gauging how much to say.

As well as the note Callie had left him, she also called him from the airport.

Considering the circumstances, she had sounded remarkably calm.

Too calm.

Mark had never heard Callie so lifeless and barren and didn't know if it was a good idea for her to go to Miami but he'd promised her that he wouldn't leave Arizona alone tonight.

"Go away, Mark. Just go." Arizona bit the words out and started to close the door.

"Nooooo. No Arizona, you can't be alone right now." Mark wedged his shoulder in the door.

"If you can't stand the sight of me, let me get Teddy for you ... or perhaps Bailey. But Bailey can be a little scary. And Teddy doesn't know Callie like I do, she'll just agree with everything you say." He smiled down at her, his expression gentle. "C'mon let me in, I've a 12-year old malt here and cookies."

Arizona's eyes flickered, she barely took in anything he said.

"Cookies?"

"Well, Cal told me to bring doughnuts but I'm fresh out of doughnuts right now, so I thought that a cookie might do the trick, right?"

Arizona considered Mark for a moment and turned back into the apartment, allowing him to follow her in.

She climbed up on a stool at the breakfast bar and rested her chin in her hands, her eyes staring blankly at nothing.

Without saying a word Mark got two glasses and poured a very generous measure for each of them. He decided not to comment on the various bags of luggage in the living room.

He sipped his drink and winced slightly as Arizona downed hers in one shot and looked at him for a refill.

"Do you want to talk?" He asked cautiously as he poured a larger measure.

"Sip it, savour it."He admonished as he handed the glass over noting that she blanked his question.

Arizona raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged.

"Or skull it one."

Arizona drank a gulp but didn't finish it this time.

"She didn't want to hurt you." He started tentatively, not sure what to say.

"She left me." Arizona's words were hard and he winced. She was still seething.

"She said she was coming back, she just needed some space..."

"From me. She needed space from me...After everything that we've been through, do you know how that makes me feel..."

"Stop. Arizona. Stop. Callie hasn't abandoned you; she hasn't left you or bailed on the relationship. I know that much and I know that she made this decision at the cost of her happiness as well as yours, Arizona. She's hurting as well."

"Bullshit."

"Arizona, she trusted you with everything, how about repaying the favour. Trust Callie to know that what she's doing is for the best..."

"Callie never trusted me, she fought me all the way, she ..."

"She came home with you. She trusted you, when she knew almost nothing about the last 2 years, nothing about you, she came home with you."

"Only because she had no choice," Arizona refused to believe his words, anger, hurt and bitterness churning inside her.

"Of course she had a choice, she could have stayed in hospital, she could have arranged to have her mother or her sister stay with her. Callie knew she had options. Sure, she was angry with you in all sorts of ways but she didn't have to come home with you, she chose to."

Arizona turned away from him and swallowed the rest of her scotch, feeling the heat of the liquor as it travelled down her throat. She was so cold inside, so frozen, there wasn't enough alcohol in the world to warm her up.

It didn't really matter what her reasons were.

Callie was gone and Arizona was alone.

#

Arizona lay on her back and stared at the ceiling.

It had been so long since she'd slept here, that her apartment felt alien to her, it didn't feel like home. It wasn't home. Without Callie, nowhere felt like home.

She had spoken to her landlord and had renewed her lease for another 6 months. Perhaps in 6 months, things would be better, perhaps Callie might have come home; perhaps her memories might have come back.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Blinking her tears away, Arizona rolled on to her side and stared at the wall, trying to empty her head of the turbulent thoughts swirling about.

Her mobile rang and her body convulsed at the strains of Kings of Leon's _Sex on Fire_.

Callie was calling her. Again.

Arizona gritted her teeth and stayed where she was, blinking rapidly, holding her body still.

Her resolve wasn't really put to the test as the phone stopped ringing almost immediately, before she had a chance to grab it eagerly or ignore it completely.

She wasn't exactly surprised that Callie had hung up so quickly.

Her last words to Callie, a few days ago, had been hard and it didn't matter whether she had been right to be so harsh, right now, she was the one in pain, she was the one suffering and if Callie was willing to hold out the most tenuous, flimsy of olive branches, Arizona was only cutting her nose off to spite her face by not responding.

But even if she did speak to Callie, there was nothing else that she could say.

She loved her, desperately.

And Callie simply didn't want that love.

Deep down, Arizona knew that it wasn't as simple as that, but her mind and heart were too full of hurt and pain to be rational about anything. She and Callie had been doing so well, they'd been getting so close; Arizona had even hoped that Callie was beginning to fall in love with her again and now, after everything, Callie's departure had broken her.

Arizona curled herself into a tight ball and closed her eyes, breathing deeply and hoping for some measure of calm.

Unexpectedly, her rarely used land line began to ring and Arizona stiffened for a moment before tuning the ringing out; it was probably a cold caller trying to sell insurance or something. She closed her eyes again as she heard her voice message click on.

"I'm not here right now, but please leave a message after the beep and have a great day." Arizona grimaced at her friendly, upbeat message. She couldn't imagine ever being that cheerful again.

"_Ummm...Arizona...I'm guessing you're _in_ surgery or something...I wanted to call to say...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry... This is stupid, you never use this phone ...I was going to leave a message on your mobile voicemail but I chickened out...Arizona...I'm sorry that I left you when you wanted me to stay. Please, please can you try to forgive me?"_

Arizona sat up slowly and turned to the machine as it recorded Callie's message. Her heart caught painfully at the sorrow she could hear in Callie's voice.

"_I know it seems like I'm running away and maybe I am but...I'm ...I can't bear to hurt you again and if I stayed I would have broken your heart. Arizona...you deserve to be happy and right now, I'll only make you sad." _

Arizona heard Callie take a deep breath and she moved off the bed, approaching her phone slowly, her hand half reaching out to the receiver.

"_I'm not going to tell you to find someone else because I totally get how insulting it was for me to say that to you. I'm sorry."_

Arizona paused at the sheer weariness that was evident in Callie's quiet, almost broken voice.

"_I don't know how to tell you how much I hated leaving you...there aren't any words to describe it...I know how it must have felt and I'm so, so very sorry."_

There was a long pause and Arizona thought that perhaps Callie had hung up.

"_Fuck, Arizona, all I do is hurt you...can't you see that? I'm not good for you, not now, not the way I am._

_I'm not trying to dismiss the attraction. Not anymore...I'm sort of over my shock at being attracted to women...being attracted to you. It _**is still **_shocking but you...you're so ...utterly beautiful, so kind and passionate about things, you take my breath away, Arizona but at the same time, when I think of how you make me feel, I remember poor, sweet George. It still only seems like weeks since I last saw him. And now he's dead. I can't begin to explain how messed up it is for me to want your body against mine and think that George is barely cold in his grave. I understand that actually it's been years but...it doesn't feel like years, Arizona..._

_I'm furious and hurt because of what he did, and then I remember that he's dead and in the middle of all that I think about how it felt to kiss your lips, of how soft you felt against me..._

_I don't know what to do..._

_I'm miserable without you._

_I miss you so fucking much, Arizona. I'm like a child...I cry myself to sleep every fucking night because you're not with me ...I reach out to you in my sleep and I can't feel your warmth beside me and I think I'm going to..." _

Arizona allowed her own tears to fall as she listened to Callie sob quietly.

"_I am in hell. This feels like hell but I can't be with you because I'll just drag you down with me. I just need a bit of time to...to make sense of my emotions...I can't do that while I'm with you...can you understand that, Arizona?..."_

"_Esto es estúpido. Soy estúpido."_

Arizona reached for the phone as she heard Callie mutter in Spanish, her fingers curling around the receiver even as she heard the tell-tale clicks from the machine, indicating that Callie was deleting her message, ending her call.

Arizona walked listlessly back to her bed and curled into a ball and waited for night time to come. Perhaps in the darkness of night, she could sink into oblivion and forget that there was a gaping hole in her chest, where her heart used to be.

#

From: arobbins sgmw .com

To: callietorres hotmail .com

Subject: Hello...

_**My darling Calliope,**_

_**Perhaps this is kind of cowardly of me but I didn't want to phone and put you on the spot or make you uncomfortable.**_

_**So I'm sending this email, instead.**_

_**I'm sorry I screamed at you. I understand now how difficult this is for you and didn't mean to make things worse.**_

_**I know that you'll soon be settled Miami and it'll be like you never left but I hope you'll come back to Seattle soon. I think you know that you have friends here, people who care about you and miss you. **_

_**One day I hope that you'll accept me as a friend, even if I can't be your lover. One day, I hope there will be a place in your life for me, Callie. **_

_**Even if it's as your friend or your yoga buddy or the woman you have the occasional tequila with. **_

_**I don't care. **_

_**It doesn't matter that I'm begging you not to discard me completely because I have no pride with you; I never did.**_

_**Be happy in Miami, do all the things that will make you whole again and I hope you'll be back. I want you to know that whatever happens, whatever decision you make, I'll be here and I will wait for you, Callie. As a friend, if that's what you want. **_

_**But please don't ask me to let go, please don't ask me to move on because I can't. I am sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, ignore me if you want but my heart can't stop beating for you.**_

_**It won't.**_

_**I love you, Callie and I hope I see you soon.**_

_**Arizona.**_

Arizona paused for a moment and gritted her teeth. Her fingers trembled as she typed the words and she wanted to do nothing more than bury her face in her arms and sob her heart out.

Somehow she had to hope that Callie would come back.

She hit send.

#

The days and weeks passed in a haze of misery.

Arizona steadfastly ignored the looks of sympathy and commiseration from her friends and colleagues and poured everything she had into her work.

There was nothing else she could do bar chasing after Callie all the way to Florida and she wasn't too keen on having her heart ripped out again.

So she worked.

All the time.

Callie had responded to her email.

It had been a kind, response, gentle, loving even. But she had been clear that she needed space to resolve her issues.

She didn't know when she would be coming back.

#

Arizona tried to still the wild beating of her heart at the news.

Aria had phoned and mentioned that Callie was thinking of returning to Seattle, that she might have even made some calls to Chief Webber to discuss ending her leave of absence.

As far as Aria could tell, the bulk of Callie's missing memories hadn't returned but it appeared that she missed Seattle and wanted to come home.

Arizona sat at her desk and digested the news. She savoured it like a fine vintage wine, precious and cherished, she felt a warm glow at the news. And she scolded herself for being a fool. Callie's feelings for her were complicated and she had no idea what would happen when she returned.

Arizona knew she shouldn't get her hopes up.

She had nothing to look forward to.

Except the sheer pleasure of seeing Callie again.

She pulled out a note pad and began to write a letter. She wasn't sure if she had the guts to send it, but committing her emotions to paper, made her feel better.

_My Darling Calliope,_

_You're coming home soon and I struggle to know how to feel, how to behave..._

_I feel as giddy as a small child on the first day of the summer holidays...excitement builds up to a height that can't be maintained and I plummet back to reality. I can barely catch myself before I float off again into a fog of foolish, childish anticipation._

_I used to believe in fairy tales and now I don't know what to believe in anymore._

_I long for one of my own, somewhere deep and quiet and unseen, I want that fairy tale ending for me._

_I want it for us._

_I live a pretend life, one that doesn't have you in it._

_I pretend all the time. I pretend that I'm ok, that it doesn't hurt to hear your name, I pretend that, without you in my life, I am whole._

_But my yearning for you is something I can't deny, not to myself. Even when I almost wished that we were through, when I wished for the goodbyes to be final and for the pain and despair to ease, I longed for you, still._

_I watched my life slip through my fingers, when you went away, unguarded, unknowing and heedless of the pain that loving brings and yet I love you, still._

_Would you hate me if I said that sometimes I wish it didn't hurt? Would you hate me if I said that sometimes I wished our love would go away?_

_My darling, darling girl, would you even care?_

_I am as edgy as a parent watching an infant run off through the gates on the first day of school, and I am filled with trepidation, anxiously aware of every little thing that could go wrong._

_I am restless and my mind cannot fix on a single thing, I can't sleep and food tastes like ashes in my mouth._

_I must be in love!_

_And with you._

_And I despair at my foolishness, at my silly, love struck heart._

_I just can't resist your smile, your laugh._

_It's been months since I've held you in my arms, since I've felt the warmth of your skin, the taste of your mouth and I tremble at the thought of seeing you again._

_I sigh at my romantic overwrought words and want to dismiss them, pretend that they are not real, I want to laugh at myself but I can't._

_I am as sick as a teenager on her first date._

_I want to be with you at sunset and at lay with you at moon rise._

_I want to feel your breath on my skin at dawn and your hand in mine at dusk._

_I want to be all the things that make you strong and intelligent and beautiful and I want you to be my inspiration, my reason for getting up in the morning,_

_I want you to be my love, always._

_And I want to be yours._

_#_

Arizona had just come home and was looking through her mail as she walked through the lobby of her apartment and became aware of a presence so familiar and cherished that she spun around, looking out for one face.

Callie was striding towards her dark eyes intent and for a split second, Arizona thought that she was going to sweep her up in her arms.

But whatever Callie's intentions might have been, she paused, a few short paces away and offered a small tentative smile. There was both hope and fear flickering in her sombre gaze and she opened her mouth, but no words came out, at least none that Arizona actually heard.

Her mind wiped clear of any thought, Arizona acted on pure instinct and allowed her feet to cross the distance between them and grabbed Callie, pulling her tight into her arms and burying her face into her warm bosom. A portion of her brain that was able to engage told her that Callie's eyes had filled with tears as she pulled her close and that Callie's arms were wrapped around hers in a vice grip.

But her joy was short-lived and Callie gently pulled away.

Her warm hand cupped Arizona's cheek for a second and Arizona tried to make sense of the emotions she could see flitting across Callie's face. Her brown eyes were roaming Arizona's face as if committing them to memory and she went a little cold at the thought that Callie might have actually come to say goodbye forever.

Slowly Callie took her hand away and thrust her hands into her pockets.

"I've come home, Arizona. I'm not going anywhere."

#

They had silently gone up to Arizona's apartment, both of them unabashedly staring at the other.

In the 5 weeks that Callie had been away, she'd got a light, healthy tan and her hair had grown thick and long, almost touching her shoulders. Arizona gritted her teeth and forced her body to stand still. She wanted to pull Callie close again, feel the warmth of her embrace and bury her face in the black, glossy hair. Callie looked healthy, but her eyes were shadowed, almost haunted and Arizona dropped her gaze, almost overcome at the sight of her.

_I will not cry. I will not cry. _

Callie leaned back against the wall of the elevator and tried not to stare hungrily at Arizona. She failed and filled her gaze and heart with the sight of the quiet blonde.

Arizona had lost weight, her cheeks hollow and her collarbone clearly visible. She looked every bit as lost and distraught as Callie felt and she dropped her eyes to hide the tears that had sprung up at the pain she knew she caused, was still causing. Callie bit her lip and straightened up. She had no right to cry, no right to anything at all. All she could do was be honest and try her damndest.

#

"Why did you come back?" Arizona asked the question carefully, her mind still whirling at the sight of Callie standing there, all tanned and fantastic less than a few feet away from her. Close enough to touch almost close enough to feel her warmth.

They were standing in Arizona's kitchen, both of them nervous and fidgety.

Callie chewed her lip ad rejected each thought as it came to her.

_I couldn't stay away... _

_I missed you too much. ..._

"I couldn't bear the fact that I walked away and left you alone. Arizona, I'm so sorry."

_Fuck, I missed you so much. Arizona. It's so good to see your face, to hear your voice...please smile for me, please tell me you're happy to see me..._

But she couldn't say the words out loud. It wasn't fair.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have. I needed some space to clear my head and being with you, just ...it was impossible." She stared intently at Arizona and then lowered her gaze.

"We were doing so much better...we could have..." Arizona stopped, the last thing she wanted to do was have a rehash of their fight.

"You understand this wasn't about me getting away from _you_...not like that not...I didn't want to make that mistake again, Arizona. You deserve better than being some rebound girl."

"Rebound? Rebound off of whom?" Arizona felt her ire rise. What the fuck had Callie got up to in 5 weeks? Aria had phoned her from time to time, even told her that Callie had seen Liz Bennett for coffee once. But rebound?

Callie sighed deeply.

"That was probably the wrong description. When I left I was becoming ... attached to you. A lot. But my husband had just died and being enamoured with you kind of made me feel like awful. A merry widow dancing on his grave. Can you comprehend how much I loathed myself for that?"

Arizona felt her ire melt away, stung with shame at her immediate reaction.

"All along, I pushed all thoughts of George to the back of my mind. While I was still coming to grips with..with you..."

Despite the seriousness of the conversation, Arizona smirked very slightly at Callie's choice of words.

At Arizona's expression, Callie rolled her eyes, "Not literally, you doofus." The silliness eased the tension a little bit.

Arizona's smile grew a tiny bit wider, a mere hint of her dimples appearing for a brief second.

_Oh you darling, your smile...oh god, I've missed your smile so much..._

Callie blinked, realising that she had lost her train of thought at the slight curve of Arizona's lips, the hint of amusement in her beautiful blue eyes.

"I... ummm... I... was still trying to process us, how I felt about you, what our past might have been like and all the damned while, I was trying to pretend that George didn't matter.

"When Mrs O'Malley came to see me, it made everything clear. I had to grieve for George again. I had to be free of the memory of him and everything."

"You didn't have to leave for that... maybe...maybe I could have helped you." Arizona had come to terms with the fact that she had probably over-reacted to the whole incident. It had been a shock but she could have tried to be more understanding.

Callie shook her head.

_I would have been consumed with love for you, there would have been no space for George or my grief and one day, I would have felt guilty and I would have blamed you for my guilt._

But all she said was, "I couldn't think and I needed some distance to separate my thoughts and emotions."

_Arizona, you clouded my mind...completely_.

Callie knew that she had to be cautious; she had to be on-guard. She couldn't dive head first into a full blown relationship with Arizona not yet. Callie knew she wasn't there yet but had come back because she simply couldn't stay away any longer.

Arizona rubbed her forehead wearily. She wasn't sure where this left them.

"So, now what?"

Callie stood up straightened and squared her shoulders. She looked like she was getting reading for a beating. Or a major disappointment.

"Would you... will you forgive me for leaving you?"

#

Liz Bennett felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise at the sight of Callie Torres walking towards her.

"Hey stranger, when did you get back in town?" she asked, trying for nonchalance.

She was standing at the side of the road, waiting for the lights to change and she turned to smile at Callie Torres.

Callie grinned cheerfully at the diminutive anaesthetist. She'd just been given limited clearance for work, had an uncomfortable but productive session with Wyatt and was hoping to see Arizona later in the evening. She was in a good place right now and pleased to see Liz Bennett.

She had met up with the redhead for coffee once while she was in Miami but hadn't really been in the mood for socialising at the time.

Liz Bennett was a bit of a flirt but she seemed to accept that she wasn't going to get anywhere with Callie and hadn't been the least bit provocative with her or anything so perhaps Liz wasn't as predatory as Arizona had seemed to think. "I've been back for less than a week and already, I miss the Miami sun." Liz laughed up at Callie, her eyes shining.

"I know, I know, me too, but somehow, it feels good to be back." Callie smiled sympathetically. She gave the woman an assessing look; Liz had clearly not spent all of her time in conferences and lecture theatres while she had been on sabbatical. Her skin glowed with health and vitality.

"You look amazing with that tan, though, it really suits you." Callie complemented her.

Liz's smile faltered, for just a moment but she rejected the half dozen suggestive responses that came to mind and replied simply.

"Thanks, you look really good yourself. Your hair has grown." Liz wanted to ask if Callie's memories were back but she knew it was probably too personal a question to ask her.

Callie stroked the back of her head, a little self conscious. Her hair grew fast and in the heat of the Florida sun, it had grown even faster. She wore her hair in a long curly bob that brushed her shoulders; the ends curved inwards and tickled her neck. It was a little different from the sometimes wild mane that she was used to but she liked it; at least for now.

"Yes, well..." Callie looked away, trying wondering if Arizona liked her new hairstyle.

"It suits you, Callie." Liz was sincere, Callie looked healthy and well. She looked beautiful and the kick of attraction that had never really gone away flared deeply in Liz Bennett.

The lights had changed and they were both preparing to cross the road.

"I was going to get a drink at Joe's, do you want to join me?"

"I'm on soda's only these days but it'll fun to go to Joe's, I can't remember the last time I played darts ..." Callie paused at her choice of words and laughed out loud.

"I mean it's been an age..."

Liz joined her laughter and took a step into the road; her eyes intent on Callie's smiling face. She could feel a tremor of anticipation run through her; it wasn't a date and for all she knew, Callie might have gone back to men or Arizona Robbins but spending a little time in the orthopaedic surgeons company was something she had literally been dreaming of.

"Liz...watch out...!"

Callie had been smiling back at Liz but had noticed where she had not, the car speeding to beat the traffic lights.

There may have been enough time but Callie, acting instinctively, grabbed Liz around the waist and quite literally swept her up in her arms and away from the wheels of the speeding car.

"Jesus..." Callie craned her head round; following the car as it sped passed them without slowing down.

Her heart was pounding and she became aware of the soft body, she had crushed to her chest. Callie looked down at the frightened face of the redhead and slowly lowered her to the ground.

"Are you ok?" she placed her hand on Liz's shoulder and examined the woman's flushed face.

"I didn't even see the car coming... Shit, that was close." Liz genuinely couldn't think straight.

The rush of adrenaline was still pumping through her body and right now she was acutely aware of the warmth of Callie's hand on her shoulder and the sensation of being held tightly in her strong arms.

She had been scared by the screaming car as it bore down on her but she would go through it again, if it meant that Callie Torres was on hand to rescue her, to hold her close...

Liz realised that, for the first time in her adult life, she was seriously in trouble.

"You're in shock. Let's get to Joe's and get a stiff drink in you."

Liz nodded but realised that she wasn't that much in shock; at Callie's words, her mind conjured up what she would prefer to have inside her and it had nothing to do with alcohol but she nodded again as Callie led her away.

#

Arizona dropped her cigarette butt and turned away.

She had been leaning against the staff entrance, smoking when Callie approached Liz Bennett at the lights. A chill had run through her at, what looked like, an easy camaraderie between the two women, clearly they had met up in Miami. Arizona might not like it, in fact she hated it, but Callie was free to choose her own friends.

Heart in mouth and scared for Callie's safety, Arizona had taken a step towards them, even though they couldn't have seen her, as the car approached and swept by. What Arizona hadn't been prepared for was to see Callie lift the other woman off her feet and out of the way of the speeding car.

She hadn't been prepared for the sight of another woman in Callie's arms.

It didn't matter what the circumstances were, everything slowed down and eventually came to a halt. Callie's strong arms wrapped around the tiny woman and then she lifted her off her feet, spinning her round, so that they were face to face. It couldn't have taken more than 20 seconds and yet, to Arizona their movements were slow and sensuous and lasted forever, like an elaborate ballet, choreographed solely to cause her torment.

Arizona looked on as Callie had stared in to the anaesthetists face and felt as if a knife had been plunged into her heart and then twisted over and over again.

This was a hundred times worse than seeing Liz Bennett touch Callie.

This was so much worse.

Arizona felt a churning in the depths of her gut and took a step, staggering slightly before leaning over and vomiting noisily on the pavement.

#

Bailey walked into the women's toilets and nodded to Arizona who had her hands braced tightly on the edge of a wash hand basin.

Her skin was a sickly grey colour and Bailey paused for a moment before going over to her, touching the taller woman on the shoulder, when she showed no sign of acknowledging her presence.

"Oh...Miranda...I'm sorry, I was ...miles away." Arizona looked up but quickly dropped her eyes from Bailey's reflection in the mirror and began running hot water over her hands.

"Arizona, what happened?" she put up her hand to forestall Arizona as she opened her mouth to reply. "And don't you dare tell me nothing. _Nothing_ doesn't cause you to stand here in the bathroom like you've just seen the 7 horsemen of the apocalypse heading your way. Tell me."

Bailey's bracing words broke Arizona out of the fugue that was drowning her. But they didn't help her deal any better with the sight of Callie with her arms around Liz Bennett.

"Bailey ..." She turned to face the short woman and bit her lip. Bailey could see that she was fighting tears and didn't press her for a moment, allowing the woman to compose herself.

Arizona shrugged her shoulders at Bailey and grabbed some hand towels, twisting them in her hands until Bailey reached out and calmed the restless fingers.

"Just tell me what happened."

Heaving a big sigh Arizona quickly recounted the scene she had observed.

"I just don't know how to deal with the fact that she doesn't love me anymore, that all we shared has gone...that she might actually be interested in that evil little pixie ..." The words rushed out of the woman and for a moment Bailey was scared that she would collapse under the weight of her grief.

Bailey took Arizona's cold hands in hers and looked up into the face that had recently been ravaged by tears. The normally sparkling laughing blues eyes were dulled with pain.

"Arizona, was it love at first sight?"

At Arizona's bemused face, she clarified her query.

"As far as you know, did Callie fall in love with you the moment you first met?"

Arizona twisted her lips in an approximation of a wry smile, recalling how she'd approached the tearful beauty in Joe's bathroom and landed a soft kiss on surprised lip.

"Not exactly, no."

"Ok, right. Now here's the thing. You are still holding on to the past. All you can see right now, is how much you used to love each other, and oh woe is me, where's all the love gone. And Callie here, Callie's all...who is this woman and what does she want with me."

"Errrr." Arizona was nonplussed.

"You need to reset your parameters, Arizona Robbins. You need to start afresh. She didn't fall in love at first sight the first time round, so there ain't no reason for you to expect her to do so this time either. Don't be greedy."

"Huh?" Arizona remained in the dark.

"You need to earn her love, all over again."

Bailey shifted her weight and tried a different tact.

"The woman don't know who you are anymore and there's just no point in you trying to remind her. What you should be doing is wooing her."

"Wooing her?" Arizona said faintly, raising her eyebrows.

"That's right. Wooing her."

"Take her for a picnic at the park, with friends, take her to the opera or the movies, let her get to know you a little, let her know that she can be safe with you, that she can learn to love you, on _her _terms, in _her_ own time."

"No doubt with Lil Ms Bennett now paying attention, you're gonna have to fight for Callie. But I think you'll find it's worth fighting for what you love?"

Arizona let out a small dry laugh.

"Yes, Callie is worth fighting for."

"You're Arizona Robbins, _you're_ the one who gets the girl. And don't you forget that."

"Yes, Ma'am." Arizona responded with a smile.

"Well, then. That's all I have to say."

With that Miranda Bailey nodded firmly at Arizona, displaying what an inspiring commander she would one day become and then ruined the effect by dashing into the nearest cubicle.

#

Dr Wyatt jotted a note down and calmly gazed up at Callie.

Callie, in her turn, closely examined the diploma on the wall.

She sat quietly in on the plush leather sofa and kept on staring. She could recite the things backwards and in her sleep, she'd stared at it so often.

She hated these sessions.

She also hated the fact that her stare down didn't work on the shrink. Not even a little bit. The uncomfortable truth was that Callie was a little intimidated by the woman's calm but implacable demeanour.

It wasn't that she couldn't see the point of the sessions, perversely, Callie knew that therapy would help her unlock her memories, unpick the tangle that her emotions had got into with George and Arizona. She knew that her resistance to the sessions was more about not wanting to deal with her past.

"So...?" After 10 minutes of silence, Dr Wyatt broke the deadlock.

"So." Callie twisted her lips and chewed the inside of her cheek.

Dr Wyatt leaned forward and raised her eyebrows encouragingly.

"Why do you think I find these sessions so hard? Why do I hate them so much?" Callie asked the question, already knowing what the woman sitting opposite her was going to say.

Dr Wyatt wrote down another note.

"You know full well what my response to that question will be, Callie."

"Doc... a little help here, please." Callie burst out.

"Callie, we both know that you're resistant to these sessions because there is something in your immediate past that you are trying to suppress."

Dr Wyatt folded her hands on her lap. "Until you're able to acknowledge what that is and why, you and I will continue to spend time together."

Callie resumed chewing the inside of her cheek.

"So this dream I keep having ..."

"We're back to the dream again? Dr Wyatt rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Unless you actually tell me what the dream was about I can't help you decipher it, can I?"

Callie ignored her.

"See, the thing is that I thought that it was a dream... it felt like a dream... well, actually, it felt more like a nightma..." Callie stopped talking as abruptly as she started. Her dark eyes were glued to her hands as she played with her fingers, twisting the skin of a knuckle between her index finger and thumb.

Dr Wyatt observed closely, this time without comment. Callie had alluded to this dream at a number of sessions but had, so far been unwilling to discuss the dream, much less what it might have meant.

This was a breakthrough of sorts.

"So this dream... turns out it might have actually happened. It might be a memory." She stopped again and looked up expectantly.

Dr Wyatt wondered why this was particularly significant but restrained herself from asking, Callie needed to work this out on her own.

"Don't you think that it might be significant?"

Wyatt shrugged and asked the obvious question.

"Do you think it's significant?"

Callie slumped back in the plush sofa and blew the air out of her lungs.

"In this dream ... memory ... whatever, we were having a fight. It felt like a big fight. She said some things to me, they hurt and then she got up and walked away from me."

She raised her head to look at the shrink and there were tears in her eyes.

"I was hurt by what she said, I was upset. But it was when she walked off...I pleaded with her to stay ...I...I felt like everything in my life was collapsing because of because she walked away from me."

"OK."

"People have been going on and on about what a great couple we were and how in love we were, if that was true, why don't I remember that? Why is the only thing I remember from this relationship is how fucking bad I felt when..."

"Yes?"

"...when she walked away from me. Why would I dream that, why would I remember that?"

Callie pressed the heel of her palms into her eye sockets, hoping to push away the tears that were threatening to fall.

Just remembering the dream brought up a feeling of nausea and Callie tried to ignore the sensation, pretend it wasn't happening. There was no good reason for her to feel this bad.

"And to crown things off, I just did the same damn thing to her. Arizona begged me to stay and I left anyway. I knew how much it would hurt but I did it anyway."

She opened her eyes and looked at the silent shrink.

"Yes, yes, I know the drill. I did do a pysch rotation, I know that my subconscious is paying some meaning to these events and all I have to do is decipher the meaning and hey presto...I'm all cured and my memories come flooding back, right?"

"You know full well some of those memories may never come back." Dr Wyatt was jotting again and didn't look up as she made the comment.

"Ummmm, cold, much?"

"Ummmm, realistic, plenty." Wyatt looked at the time and snapped her note book shut.

"Look, Callie, I'm not here to coddle you or tell you the things you want to hear. You need to do the hard work. If you want to be fully cleared for work and not have any caveats on your medical licence, you need to buck your ideas a little."

"But..."

"But nothing. If you are serious about wanting to get better then, get better."

"You task was to surround yourself with things from your immediate past and that includes people. You don't need to hop into bed with Arizona Robbins; you don't need to pretend that you love her. You just need to be a little familiar with her because it will prompt your subconscious."

"You have to deal with your past, confront it, if necessary and then move on, if that's what it takes for you to heal. You've made excellent progress identifying your grief and anger over George and whilst going to Miami may not have been something I would have recommended, it seems to have given you some perspective. These are all good things, Callie." Wyatt looked over at the other woman and smiled a little to take the sting out of her words.

"But right now, Callie, all you're doing is avoiding trying to decipher this dream of yours."

Callie opened her mouth to protest.

Wyatt went one, ignoring Callie's open mouth.

"One more thing to consider, Callie. This is by no means the first dream or memory you've had about the missing 2 years. All of the other memories, you're merely accepted them as a matter of course. Yet, this particular memory seems to have you quite shaken up. Think about why that is."

Callie closed her mouth with an audible snap.

"Our time is done for this session, Callie. I'll see you next week."

#

Arizona didn't need to look up to know that Callie was nearby.

Her pulse had started to flutter the second she caught the scent of jasmine. Callie still wore the same perfume and Arizona's heart still came to a stuttering halt every time the woman was near.

She forced her hand the keep writing in the chart, even though she now had no idea what she was writing.

Callie continued to hover, not saying a word and Arizona caved, unable to stand the suspense. Unable to bear the nearness.

"Calliope?" Her voice was bright, friendly even, but Arizona didn't raise her head.

"Umm, hey." Callie seemed to reach the limit of her vocabulary and clammed up.

_Ok, so this is not going to be easy._

Arizona paused and looked up at Callie who was just standing there, less than a foot away from her.

She had a pen in her hand and was clicking it rapidly. Her other hand straightened the collar of her lab coat, smoothing it down and picking at the starched edge.

"Hey." Arizona didn't know how to make things easy for Callie but she smiled brightly anyway.

"What's up?"

"Ummm..." Callie shifted her weight from one foot to the other and then looked around the hall as if hoping that some form of rescue was on its way.

"Look, Arizona...I'm sorry. I really am. If there was someone else I could ask I..."

Arizona raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything. This _really _wasn't going to be easy.

"I need to ask you something."

Arizona half nodded her head but her defences kicked in. She picked up her pen and began scrawling in the chart again.

"You can ask me anything, Calliope." Arizona mean it, she really did.

She just preferred not to be staring into Callie's eyes and pretending that she wasn't yearning to be held in her strong arms. And certainly not while helping Callie with whatever it was she needed help with.

"Did we... did we fight a lot? I mean, when we were together... before...did we have lots of fights?" Callie lowered her voice and moved closer to Arizona.

Arizona's pen stopped scratching for a second. Disbelieving, she turned to look at Callie.

"_Did we have lots of fights?_ That's what you wanted to ask me...?"

"I know it's insensitive ... and I know..." Callie drew a deep breath, chewed her lip and looked over Arizona's shoulder as if trying to find the quickest escape route.

Her shoulders drooped and her lower lip was caught between white teeth.

"You're the only one I can ask about this..."

Arizona blinked at the raw vulnerability in Callie's words. It was the first time since she'd come back that she had lowered her defences and been anything other than guarded around Arizona. They had met up once or twice for coffee but both of them had been on edge, unable to regain the closeness of before.

"We fought some, not a lot..." Arizona leaned on the counter and observed Callie fully since the woman started hovering.

Her hair was tied up in an untidy pony tail and Arizona could faintly see the point where Owen Hunt had held a medical drill and placed a hole in Callie's head. Arizona ground her teeth and pushed the image away.

Callie had been back at work for over a week and had already started performing wonders in the OR. She was in scrubs though her hair was free of its scrub cap Arizona knew that Callie had finished her hip replacement and had a 2 hour gap before she was due back in the OR for a diabetic amputation.

Her face was free of make-up and she looked beautiful. Arizona dragged her eyes away from Callie's full lips and concentrated on what she was saying.

"I've been having these dreams but I can't tell if they're dreams or memories or ...or...if I didn't know better I'd say they were nightmares, except I don't know better and the only way I can find out is to ask you...and there's one dream that I keep on having and ... and ...Wyatt said to ..." the stream of words came out of Callie's mouth in a torrent and Arizona blinked.

_So she's really nervous._

"Callie, you want to share or should I just read your mind?" Arizona teased gently when Callie stood there, staring at her.

"Umm, right. Ok, so, we're sitting in the lounge here and we've been talking ...I can't quite put my finger on what we're talking about but I'm unhappy and ...and I think you're mad at me." Callie paused for a moment and Arizona, feeling a sense of disquiet went back to making comprehensive but completely illegible notes in poor Aytan Smoeller's chart.

"Uhuh?" Arizona prompted unhappily.

"You said... I think you said something about liking your life the way it was and not wanting it to change ..."

Arizona tuned out the rest of Callie's words.

She remembered what she said pretty well without prompting.

FUCK.

Of all the things that Callie could have possibly remembered or dreamt about, it had to be one of the few times that Arizona had been a class A bitch.

FUCKITYFUCKFUCKFUCK.

She looked down at the chart and realised that in addition to the vast amounts of scribble, she had now written the word FUCK about 2 dozen times across the chart. She was going have to re-write the whole damned thing.

Arizona slapped her pen down, the sound sharp and looked Callie square in the face. There was no real point in dissembling.

"We broke up. We broke up a while back for nearly a month. At the time, I didn't want children and you did."

She said the words starkly, her voice low and her eyes shadowed. Remembering her words and the eventual aftermath was difficult for Arizona to talk about.

"That's what that fight was about."

Callie leaned back, a bemused look on her face.

"Wow. So, that was a deal-breaker, right...?"

"Yes, Calliope. It was a deal breaker, at the time." Arizona stressed and then shrugged, her voice firm, her gaze steady.

_I changed my mind about having a family with you. We were going to have children, my darling._

The words screamed out, but only inside her head. Callie had made it clear that she wasn't ready yet to explore their past and so Arizona swallowed to words and plastered her patented bright and cheery smile to her face, not quite meeting Callie's gaze.

#

_It was a deal breaker at the time._

That meant that it wasn't a deal breaker anymore, right?

Callie sat in the corner of the cafeteria and toyed with her lunch.

She remembered the flash of Arizona's eyes and for a moment was distracted from her thoughts.

Callie couldn't help but notice that Arizona's eyes were deep and bright and reminded her of the Aegean Sea on a calm summer morning. Callie was aware that they matched perfectly the sapphire ring, which was shoved in the back of her wardrobe.

She was going round and round in circles, trying so hard not to rush things with Arizona that she was scared she was coming off disinterested.

They'd met for coffee twice and each time Callie had been stilted, awkward and stupid, wary of revealing too much, afraid that she would give Arizona the wrong impression.

_What impression might that be? That you miss her smile during the day and her warm body at night? Or that you are more than half way in love with her? Or could it be that you can't help but wonder what it would feel like to taste her mouth again, to suckle on her nipples, to see her eyes close in passion, to feel her mouth and hands on your body?_

Callie groaned out loud at the thoughts tumbling through her head and then straightened up and looked around, hoping that no one had caught her lapse.

Callie was aware that she understood things about Arizona, even without consciously thinking about it, she had been able to see the tension radiating from every bone in Arizona's body as soon as she had approached her earlier today, through her shadowed and beautiful blue eyes, she could see Arizona's pain and anger that her question had caused despite the blonde's apparent nonchalance. Callie had known that despite her bright and cheerful smile, her questions had hurt her deeply and Callie knew that she had to do more.

She had to show Arizona that she wasn't focusing on the negative and that she was truly trying to get back, to be the person Arizona had fallen in love with.

#

Callie looked at the plaque, tried to divine some meaning from it, tried to grasp the terror that everyone must have felt, scared for their lives.

It's hard to believe that that happened nearly a year ago.

Bailey appeared at her side and examined the plaque.

"Sometimes I wake up and think, naw, that did _not_ just happen. And then I remember Percy and his head in my lap. I remember closing his eyes and then I know it wasn't a dream, or even a dreadful nightmare. For a short time, not too long ago, that was our reality."

She looked up at Callie.

"Perhaps you're lucky that this memory is one that doesn't haunt you anymore."

"I think that I'd want my memories back both the good and the bad...I want to know who I am."

"You are the person who calmly spoke to a murderous madman who was holding a gun in your face, you are the person that gave him what he needed and sent him away from the scared and sick children. You are the person who instinctively protected the things, the people who were important to her. Callie you still are that person."

"Do you know why….." Callie faltered. Bailey had always been clear about not bringing personal lives to work. But she was here, right? Talking to her ….. comforting her?

"Why did we get back together, do you know?"

Bailey sighed, her eyes still fixed on the blue plaque.

"Callie, no one knows why we do the things we do."

"Perhaps you both thought that life was too short, not to be with the person you love the most. I don't have that answer for you, Callie. I can only tell you the things that I'm guessing you don't want to hear."

Callie raised her hand to forestall what she thought might be coming, a eulogy on the love she once shared with Arizona Robbins

"Hush and let me finish."

"We're surgeons."

Callie screwed her nose up.

"Well, gee, Bailey. I know _that_."

Bailey gave her a long look and carried on speaking.

"That means we know it all and can't be taught a damned thing. We are gods and there just ain't no arguing with that."

"Now see you, you are facing this dilemma because you have the choice of being the person you always were, the person you understand or this other new person who you don't recognize. As a surgeon this is a scary proposition. Not knowing what choice to make. It's practically unheard of. Now this new Callie, she's brighter than the one before, she smiles, she's mature and she's in love. With a woman."

Callie looked over her shoulder to see who else was listening to Bailey's wisdom. It seemed kind of rude to interrupt and say that she was ok with the loving a woman bit. Well, sort of ok...kind of...

Bailey wasn't done yet.

"Now I don't know if it's the new Callie that scares you or whether it's the being in love with a woman part that frightens the bejay-sus out of you, either way. You've changed. This memory thing, that's changed you too."

Callie opened her mouth, perhaps to comment or protest or even agree but Bailey waved her into silence, so Callie shut her mouth and listened.

"Don't interrupt me, girl, I'm on a roll."

"This point you're missing Callie, is that we all change. All of the time. And usually, usually it's a good thing. But more than that, and I get that this may sound a little contradictory here but hear me out on this one…. Though we've changed in a thousand little ways, we are all still the same when it comes to the essentials. When we strip away the layers of ego and pride and anger and fear and all of those trappings and foolishness, we are who we really always were."

"Now, you can cut off your nose to spite your face and be this new, _miserable_, awkward Callie Torres, Mk III or you can embrace all of the parts of yourself before Gary Clarke and after, before your accident and after and re-capture the magic that used to be in your soul. Or you can create new magic if you like."

"Bailey, I know you didn't just tell me to jump into bed with this cute blonde simply because I apparently used to do it before…"

"Do not be telling me your private business, Torres. I do not need to know how often you and Robbins steam up the on-call room on the 3rd floor."

"We used to do it in the on-call room….wow. I'd have never pegged her as the type…." Callie was amused and incredulous in equal parts.

Bailey walked off, mock annoyance on her face. She and Callie had started as interns together and she cared for the other woman. So much so that, though she considered it unseemly, she might even indulge in a little matchmaking, if it would help.

#

"You ok? You paged me?"

Mark stuck his head into the lounge and raised his eyebrows at Callie.

She had jumped a foot at his entrance and slapped a folder over a book in her lap.

"That was an hour ago, where've you been?" Callie had kind of got caught up in a book she was reading and her colour was a little high.

"I've been working," Mark responded craning his neck a little to try and see what she was reading. "What have you been doing, huh? Giving yourself a treat?"

"Shut up and don't be a pig." Callie ignored him but squirmed a little.

"Listen, I've sent a dozen or so texts but I need you to make sure that you get as many people as possible to mine by nine. Ok?"

Mark frowned.

"Ok, but why..." He fumbled in his scrubs and pulled out his phone and scrolled through the messages.

"An Impromptu Friday Night Fiesta? Hmm. Ok...but why?"

"Because I've got to try and work up the courage to be around Arizona without being creepy, needy or distant and a party might help towards that."

"Really?" Mark wandered into the room and looked down at her.

"Alcohol lowers my inhibitions. I might be able to talk to her in complete sentences and not clam up like a ...a clam."

"Alcohol lowers your inhibitions," he repeated and then grinned at her, "You hoping to get Robbins drunk and get lucky?"

"No, Mark I'm not. And why did you put that idea into my head?" Callie squirmed a little at the thought of getting lucky with Arizona. She flushed again, thinking, slightly hazily, of the things she'd like to do to Arizona, the things she'd like to do with her.

"C'mon, you know you want to..." Mark waggled his eyebrows at her, laughing out loud as she blushed wildly.

"Quit it and go away. Your job is to marshal the troops."

#

"An Impromptu Friday Night Fiesta." Teddy read out her text message and then looked up at Arizona and Bailey. They were all sitting in the cafeteria eating. Arizona and Teddy were eating, Bailey was charting.

"You going?"

Arizona was torn.

On the one hand, it gave her a chance to be close to Callie, on the other it meant that they couldn't really talk with so many people about, but before she could formulate a response, Bailey had made up her mind for her.

"Yes, she's going. With me. To hold my hand while I pine for Ben. Or something that works equally well as an excuse." Bailey finished her notes, stood up and looked up at Arizona.

"I will meet you at the front at nine forty-five; you don't want to be too early." She gave the stunned Arizona a quick once over.

"And wear jeans, high heels and a really slutty top, let her know what she's been missing."

As she made to leave, she noticed the twin expressions of stunned bemusement on Arizona and Teddy's faces.

"What? I'm a woman. I know how to get what I want, when I want it." She pointed a finger at Arizona.

"Don't keep me waiting either."

**TBC**

* * *

**_I hope you were able to read through to the end of this chapter._**

**_If you hadn't already figured it out, it appears that I quite like putting them through the wringer. It won't always be this way. _**

**_I promise._**

**_xx_**


	16. Chapter 16

**I hadn't planned on updating this until I had the entire story wrapped up in a single albeit, slightly longer, post. And I hadn't planned on posting in time for Christmas, I'm really not that cute. But even though I've written the end, I've decided not to post it just yet because I'm not sure it's where I want it to be. So I'll tinker with it over the holidays and post it in a week or so. Hopefully.**

**Either way, in the spirit of giving, here's a short-ish chapter to tide you over.**

**I hope you enjoy and I wish you all the very best for the holiday season.**

**And... thank you for all the kind words and comments.**

**ps.**

**If you read the reviews section you'll find a disgruntled message from me begging for technical help...obviously matters have been resolved... but I couldn't delete my message! oh well.**

* * *

**16**

The offer of free alcohol on a Friday night was all the inducement needed to fill Callie and Cristina's apartment and boisterous and well lubricated co-workers mingled in the open areas of the apartment and spilled out into the communal hallway. The music pumping out of the speakers was a mix of retro funk, modern pop and R&B and a slew of Miles Davis and Herbie Hancock numbers, a fact that garnered Callie no small amount of derision from some of her younger colleagues.

"You know, I've never thought about being with a woman but Callie I have to be honest, looking at you right now, I definitely would."

Cristina was drunk.

And despite the half amused, half appalled look Owen shot her, she was being earnest.

Callie looked smoking hot.

She wore a form fitting midnight blue velvet dress that stopped at mid-thigh, with a very wide v-neck showing off a generous amount of shoulder and cleavage. The soft material hugged every curve god gave her and Callie felt that she'd stand up to scrutiny. In particular, she felt she'd stand up to Arizona's scrutiny; she'd worn this dress with her in mind. She'd left her hair down in loose curls and wore smoky dark make – up. With her heels, that lengthened her long legs and emphasised her toned thighs, Callie looked amazing.

"Honey, I can't even pretend I'm listening to what you're saying right now." Callie responded, her eyes glued to the front door.

She turned to a grinning Meredith.

"She's definitely coming, right?"

"Teddy said something about Bailey bringing Arizona or maybe it was Arizona bringing Bailey..."

"I thought Ben was doing Bailey, is he not anymore?" Cristina asked indelicately and then sniggered into her tequila.

"Callie, relax, of course she'll be here, come sit, have a drink." Mark smiled persuasively and held out a glass to Callie.

Callie's eyes flickered over to the door again, it was nearly ten and there was still no sign of Arizona. She took a seat and tried to calm down. There were lots of reasons why Arizona wasn't here yet. She might be stuck in surgery or being fashionably late, Callie told herself, absently nodding to Mark who was still speaking.

_Or she's simply given up on you._

The thought, unbidden and unwelcome seeped into Callie's brain and made itself at home. She kept the smile on her face and gritted her teeth at the sharp pain the thought aroused in her.

It was a possibility that after everything Callie had put Arizona through, that the blonde had decided to call it a day; that the pain and heartache that Callie had caused was too much to bear.

Callie allowed the thought to swirl around in her head, in her heart for a moment and let the pain wash through. And then she tightened her jaw and sat up straight. If Arizona decided that she'd had enough, it was up to Callie to change her mind.

"Cal, the idea was to lighten up, drink this down and remember that you're supposed to be having fun not fixing for a stroke."

Callie nodded firmly and took a gulp of the drink he'd given her.

She choked slightly on the triple rum and coke he'd poured and then turned to glare at him.

"Falling flat on my face, blind drunk was not part of the programme, Mark. I need to have my wits about me."

"Nah, you just need to be mellow, you know? Nice and relaxed. Take it from me; you don't want to rush in there, all hyper and half-cocked...

Callie glared at him and threw back the rest of her drink, forgetting that she wanted a clear head.

"Now go talk to your guest, you know...mingle or something, she'll be here."

#

Miranda Bailey looked over Arizona and chuckled out loud.

"I know I told you to wear a slutty top, but girl, you sure do take things seriously, don't you?"

"Oh, you know what they say Miranda, _go hard or go home_. I'm just giving Callie something to think about."

Arizona was dressed all in black, super-skinny black jeans, high-heeled knee-high boots and a top that took even the stoic Miranda Bailey's breath away. It was a light chiffon affair that draped open at the front clinging to the curve of Arizona's breasts. The back was almost completely transparent and showed off her delicate shoulder blades and toned back. The entire outfit was a stark foil for her blonde hair that she brushed until it shone and flowed over her back

There was a more than faint hint of a dominatrix about Arizona, right down to the unusually dark eye make-up she wore and the ultra confident stride.

She meant business tonight and god help anyone who got in her way.

...

She knew that she looked good enough to knock Callie's socks off and giggled to herself.

She was getting down and dirty in her attempts to let the raven-haired woman know exactly what she wanted from her.

Callie had seen the top in an exclusive boutique and despite Arizona's blushes had brought it, more as a gift to herself than anything, she'd cheekily admitted at the time. Arizona wondered if Callie would remember buying the scandalous piece of black silk and froth, if she would remember Arizona modelling it for her once they'd got home or the heated passion they shared once the blouse came off.

As she negotiated her way through the crowds of colleagues and some strangers that filled the hallway, Arizona's steps faltered.

Was she trying too hard?

Callie had intimated that she wanted to resume... something... from their relationship but she hadn't been explicit about what exactly it was she wanted and Arizona was suddenly unsure if she was pushing ... looking for something that couldn't be found.

Callie might never regain her lost memories and Arizona needed to be honest with herself. Was she able to accept loving a woman who was no longer the exact same person that she had fallen in love with? Could she accept the possible love of this Callie? Arizona sighed and paused, unexpectedly overcome with doubts; she'd pushed them aside in the past in favour of trying to get Callie to love her and all at once, she wondered if she was fighting a battle that couldn't be won.

Arizona knew, instinctively, right down in her marrow, in the fibre of her being that she would love Calliope Torres to the end of her days. But could she settle for this Callie? The differences were infinitesimal and centred predominantly around her lost memories. Callie's old personality was coming back; her humour, her lust for life and her job, her habit of blurting out inappropriate things, she had also become a little more reserved around Arizona, since she'd come back from Miami. But she was still thoughtful and kind and loving.  
But would she ever love Arizona in the same way? Could she? Was it even fair of her to expect that of Callie?

Relationships and people evolved all the time, nothing ever stayed the same, why should she expect anything different? Why should she expect or even want her life and love to remain utterly static and unchanging?

Arizona frowned, aware that she was asking herself a vital question; did she really want to be with Callie. After all that they had been through in the past and now, was she settling...did she deserve more...did she deserve better?

Arizona looked through the open doorway and crowed room and sought out the one person she wanted to see.

Callie was talking to Cristina and Arizona watched as she threw her head back and laughed at something the other woman had said.

It was as if everything came to a standstill for Arizona as she listened to the sound of Callie's laughter.

It trickled through her veins like life-giving blood, it warmed her soul, the sight, the mere sound of Calliope Torres kept Arizona's heart beating, hard and fast.

Arizona knew in that second that she really didn't care.

It didn't matter that Callie might not love her in the same way as before.

It didn't matter that Callie might never remember the love that they had shared.

It didn't even matter that she might love Callie more.

As long as Callie _did _love her, Arizona would be there to love her in return.

Arizona felt her smile widen as, just as she entered the room, Callie turned round and looked directly at her.

The expression of unbridled joy that spread across Callie's face at her entrance stilled the wild beating of Arizona's heart.

She knew that she'd made the right decision.

Arizona wandered over to the bar and accepted a drink from someone, her eyes tracking Callie who was making a beeline straight towards her.

"You came. Arizona, I'm so glad you're here." Callie said simply and grasped Arizona's hand, raised it to her lips and dropped a gentle, tender kiss on the back of Arizona's knuckles.

Arizona smiled.

"Of course I came, Calliope."

_There really was never any doubt._

They stood in silence, staring at each other, taking the moment in, Callie hadn't let go of Arizona's hand and now her thumb slowly rubbed the spot where her lips had previously been.

"You ...you look ..." Callie broke off her sentence and let out an almost disbelieving chuckle.

"You look utterly amazing Arizona, you should come with a health warning. I'm honestly not sure my poor heart can take it."

Arizona could literally feel Callie's gaze on her skin, it was like a warm and sexy caress and she shivered at the arousal that skittered along her nerve endings.

Callie looked round at the busy room and turned back to Arizona.

"I have something to show you...you don't mind leaving the party for a while do you? It's not...well ...actually it is kind of a big deal ..but...well...I wanted you to see it. "

Arizona tilted her head and considered the woman in front of her.

Callie took her breath away, she looked stunning.

She was also nervous, quite possibly a little tipsy, her words tumbling out of her beautiful mouth, incoherent and rushed and now she looked intently at Arizona, waiting for a response.

"No, I don't mind leaving for a while, it you'd like. I'm kind of curious though, what do you want to show me?"

Callie bounced on her impossible heels and almost clapped her hands in glee.

"Great. Don't move. I'll be back in a few minutes."

She leant forward and dropped a light kiss on Arizona's surprised lips and disappeared in the throng of people.

Arizona took a sip of her drink and smiled at a few people she knew, her mind whirling. What was Callie up to, but more importantly, did she plan to kiss her again this evening.

Arizona could hardly wait.

...

"You're sure this is a good idea? You absolutely promise?"

Callie had cornered Mark and implored him for advice.

"Here, drink this." He handed her another lethal measure which she downed in one gulp.

"What the hell is wrong with you women, have you never heard of savouring a fine malt?"

Callie was hopping in frustration.

She was in a spot of trouble.

She was now also drunk, which was part her being in trouble.

She had taken advice from Mark, something she did only very rarely because his strike rate was pretty dubious.

She would never have taken his advice about the surprise if she had been stone cold sober, the fact that she wasn't was kind of his fault as well.

Through the fumes of the malt whiskey, Callie knew that she was prevaricating because she was scared of Arizona's reaction. But she had told Wyatt that she was serious about rebuilding her past life, more importantly, it was something she wanted for herself and Arizona.

"Mark, please tell me this isn't the dumbest thing since the beginning of time...pleeeease."

"Cal, she'll love it. I absolutely promise you."

...

Arizona schooled her face into an approximation of a pleasant smile and watched as Liz Bennett came through the door and look round.  
The small woman gave Arizona a studied glance and then walked up, smiling, her green eyes glinting.  
"Hey Arizona, you look amazing."  
Arizona couldn't be bothered to try and return the complement.  
"Right, thanks, whatever. Why are you here?"  
"It's an open-door party and it's for Calliope. I thought I'd show my support."  
Arizona's hand itched with the urge to slap Liz Bennett across the face at her use of Callie's given name. It implied an intimacy that Arizona really hoped didn't exist between the women.  
"Liz, don't be cute. What do you hope to accomplish, really?"

Liz flicked her russet hair aside and looked up at Arizona. She'd given tonight some serious thought but decided to come anyway. She had nothing to lose.  
"Look Arizona, let's be straight about this. Everyone knows what's going on. Calliope isn't yours anymore. She remembers you as much as she remembers Jimmy Hoffa and that means all bets are off." Liz smiled kindly up at Arizona, she wasn't being malicious, she just wanted Callie for herself.  
"I want Calliope, she's utterly delicious. And I'm going to do my damndest to win her for myself." The smile faded from Liz's face. She was being utterly serious.  
"_That's_ why I'm here, Arizona."  
Arizona smiled lightly, her turbulent emotions completely shrouded behind a facade of breezy disinterest and unconcern.  
"Give it your best shot, Liz. If that's what you want. Calliope isn't a possession that I'm going to scramble for like a piece of land. She isn't mine to own. She's the woman that I'm in love with. And I'll keep on loving her, you can do what the hell you want, it doesn't matter to me."

Arizona pulled herself upright and looked down at the other woman.

Despite the fear and fury that trembled just under the surface, the doubts that had plagued her mere moments ago despite all of that, Arizona laughed out loud, amused to see a hint of uncertainty cross Liz Bennett's face at her amusement.

"Honestly, Liz...you don't stand a chance."

Arizona felt a strange peace envelope her.

She _knew_ that Callie loved her. Or was on her way to falling in love with her. All they needed was for Callie to recognise that love and have the courage to seize it.

The insecurity, the irrational possessiveness that had plagued her when she had no doubt of Callie's love had gone. Vanished. And now, when she only had the merest hint that Callie might one day feel the same way about her, Arizona was genuinely unafraid.  
The women stared at each other, equally determined until a crowd of people jostled passed them to get to the bar.  
Arizona looked around the room, hoping to spy Callie and wanting to find out where Liz had gone, but her vision was filled with a broad muscular chest and she looked up to see the smiling face of Ben Warren looking down at her.

"Hey Ben," she smile politely, completely unable to look over his shoulder.

"Arizona, you having fun?"

"Well..."

"Because a few minutes ago, I wasn't too sure you were having such a good time, what with people messing about and being all up in your business."

"Ummm." She wondered how much he had seen or overheard.

Ben shot a look across the room and flashed another smile at Arizona.

"Look, I don't want to embarrass you...but I kind of noticed you and Liz talking. And the only reason I thought anything of it was because Miranda told me about... well, you and Callie."

"Oh. Oh." Arizona didn't know whether to be relieved or mortified.

"So, one of the perks of being a senior anaesthetist here is that I get to practically manage my own schedule. All of the time."

"Ok..." Arizona wasn't entirely sure where this was going.

"Yeah. none of the other junior staff on my team have that privilege. Put simply, Arizona, whatever else you might have to worry about, Callie spending time with Liz in the OR won't be one of them. Understand?"

The penny finally dropped and Arizona beamed at him, wanting to pull him in to a huge hug.

"You're a good man, Ben Warren."

"So I've been told." He smiled again, this time his eyes fixed across the room at Bailey who was talking to Callie and laughing at something."

#

"I guess having a party for the entire surgical floor was a bad idea, right?"

They had escaped the noise of the party and were in the elevator.

"Parties are always fun." Arizona asserted and then remembered her last birthday party.

"Well most of the time they are." She couldn't take her eyes off Callie who practically glowed.

"Uhuh, but it wasn't the brightest idea I've had all week seeing as I just wanted a chance to talk to you...you know...like...normally?"

At Arizona's look, Callie giggled, a rich sensual sound that made Arizona shiver with awareness.

"And I realise that I'm chattering in gibberish, which kind of makes a mockery of me wanting to talk to you normally."

Arizona raised her eyebrows.

"I'm sorry. I think I'm a little bit drunk."

Arizona couldn't help but laugh at the earnest confession.

"Sweetheart, I kind of noticed, but it's ok. You're with me."

Arizona allowed her gaze to take in Callie's form and felt her throat close convulsively.

Callie's legs seemed to go on forever and though Arizona was an avowed breast woman, she found it hard to tear her eyes away from the toned expanse of lightly tanned firm thigh and calf. Those legs had wrapped themselves around her and held her tightly during moments of passion and as she dragged her eyes away Arizona felt the desire within her grow.

Callie smiled at her and Arizona almost groaned out loud. Right now, almost everything about the Latina turned her on and predictably, her mind turned another time that they had shared a lift.

The lift came to a halt and Arizona dragged her eyes away from her companion but pulled up as she stepped out of the elevator. She hadn't paid attention to where they were going and assumed that Callie had taken them down to the lobby.

In fact, they had ridden up to the 15th floor.

Where they had an apartment.

"Calliope?" Arizona turned to a flushed Callie, a question evident in her eyes.

"I ...I just wanted to show you what I did...and I wanted you to show me round."

Feeling her heart thud very hard in her chest, Arizona mutely watched Callie fumble a few times before finally getting the key in the lock.

At Callie's gesture, Arizona stepped into the apartment and looked around in stunned silence.

"I was able to speak to the contractors and the furniture shops and got them to deliver the furniture and things that's you'd already ordered." Callie stood at her shoulder and spoke softly.

The apartment had been furnished almost exactly the way that they had envisaged it more than 5 months ago.

"I wasn't sure about some things, like the colour scheme for the study and the spare room but...but I hope you like it, Arizona..." Callie trailed off.

Arizona could hear the roaring of blood through her veins.

She shook her head, unable to comprehend what Callie was saying or asking of her.

"I just wanted you to see, I wanted to show you that I'm honestly working towards what we had before. I knew it hurt you when I left and there's nothing I can do to take away that pain but I'm not going anywhere anymore, Arizona. This is just to show you that I'm serious." Callie blew out her cheeks having run out of words.

Arizona turned to look at her, hoping that the tears wouldn't fall.

"Oh my god, Callie...it's ... this place is beautiful."

Callie licked her lips, relieved that the gestured hadn't backfired. As addled as her brain might be, Callie knew that it could have been hurtful to Arizona to be shown a glimpse of a possible future together.

"How about you take me round and show me all the things that made us want to settle here, I want to see it through your eyes, Arizona." Callie caught up Arizona's hand and pulled her down a corridor.

#

Arizona was both amused and alarmed in equal measure at Callie's antics.

They had spent an inordinate amount of time going through the apartment and reminiscing, well she had done the reminiscing and Callie had clung onto every word as if saving them up to be taken out and cherished later on.

That had been until they got to the master bedroom and Callie's libido reasserted itself at the sight of the large and comfortable king sized bed. Arizona had kept her lust under control and sanity intact by declining Callie's offer to join her in putting the bed through its paces.

They were ostensibly on their way back to the party, but Callie clearly had other ideas.

Arizona had been manoeuvred so that she was pretty much trapped, her back up against the wall and Callie's palms, flat against the wall, on either side of Arizona's head.

"Am I going to have to duck under your arms to make an escape, Callie?" Arizona grinned slightly.

Callie blinked slowly and responded by her actions, not words.

She narrowed the space between their bodies by leaning the length of her forearms on the wall, effectively bringing her body closer. Callie's hip nudged Arizona's and her smile widened, sexy and slow.

"Do you really want to escape me Arizona, really?"

Arizona swallowed hard at the warmth of Callie's body as it brushed against hers. She could actually feel Callie's hardened nipples brushing against her chest and she couldn't hold back a moan of arousal at the sensation.

Her hands were lightly resting on Callie's hips and at her words, Arizona's hands tightened instinctively, she wanted to pull Callie closer, she wanted to snuggle into the cradle of Callie's hips and rock her body slowly against the amazingly desirable woman in front of her. Arizona wanted to reach round and cup Callie's firm ass, to mould it, she wanted to sink her teeth into the softness of Callie's neck and mark her skin, she wanted to rake her nails along her back.

Arousal screamed through Arizona, clouding her mind.

She wanted Callie so badly.

She wanted to make mad passionate love to her so, so fucking badly.

Arizona looked into Callie's eyes and felt a flash of moisture of arousal at the expression on her face. Callie was looking down at her, the corner of her lower lip caught between her teeth, her dark eyes twin orbs burning with desire.

"Stay with me tonight, Arizona. I want you to stay."

Callie lowered her head and nuzzled Arizona's throat, the tip of her tongue trailing a path of red-hot desire along Arizona's exposed neck. She could feel Callie hands playing with her hair and in the final depths of sanity that she had left, Arizona knew that once Callie's hands touched her body, she wouldn't be able to resist. She wouldn't be able to stop.

"Callie, we have to stop." She placed her hands on Callie's biceps and gently pushed.

Arizona couldn't figure out why she was holding back. She wanted this. She had wanted this for a very long time.  
Why was she denying them both?  
"I despair at my foolish, love-struck heart."  
Arizona quoted her own words in an inaudible whisper and smiled a little.  
She wanted Callie to be in love with her.  
She wanted Callie to make love to her, desperately but she didn't simply want to burn in the passion that she knew they would share; she wanted to be consumed in the blaze of their love as well.

Arizona knew that she might be setting herself up for a lifetime of misery but right now she couldn't even countenance the thought of giving Callie up. She did, however have a minimum requirement; Callie's love. It might be her one and only requirement, but it was a deal breaker.

Somehow, she needed to hang on, to wait for Callie to declare her love.  
That Callie wanted her, desired her wasn't in question.

Neither was the fact that, right now, she was also blind drunk.

Taking Callie up on her offer would be a mistake. In a cruel and perverse way, it would almost be tantamount to taking advantage of her. Arizona leaned her head back against the wall and took a deep breath, forcing the desire back down.

"Cal, hon, now's really not the time for this."

Callie's warm lips nibbled on Arizona's ear lobe in reply.

"Calliope, I mean it, you have to ..."

Callie's mouth skimmed across hers as she spoke, the warm sweet breath whispering along her lips.

"Don't walk away, babes, just stay right here." Callie murmured as she placed a hand on Arizona's waist.

Arizona's body felt so good. Even through the fog of alcohol, Callie could feel her excitement mounting as she savoured the softness and warmth of Arizona's body. She was going out of her mind and wanted nothing more than to take Arizona to their bedroom and christen it in the time-honoured fashion.

"Callie, I'm asking you to stop."

Dimly, Callie was aware that even though Arizona might have been sharing the moment with her before, she wasn't now. Callie heard the words, and slowly understood that Arizona wanted her to stop.

Her brain registered this fact.

It just took slightly longer for her neurones and synapses to fire and command her hands to stop wandering and her lips to cease and desist with their exploration.

The command came a little too late.

Arizona shoved her hard.

"Calliope, I said no and I meant it. You're completely drunk and though I might be tempted, if I make love to you, I kind of want you to remember it. Now, let me go."

Callie stumbled backwards, almost tripping over her feet. Sobriety came pretty damned quickly and the fugue of alcohol-fuelled desire dissipated. Not completely, but enough for Callie to read and understand the expression on Arizona's face.

"Thank you for the party, Callie and for showing me the apartment. I need to go now." Arizona was contained and polite, trying to keep her annoyance and, it must be said, her arousal at bay. She knew that Callie had been nervous around her recently and had probably just gone a little overboard with the drinking in an attempt to bolster her confidence.

"Please don't be angry with me. I messed up, I know and I understand why you're angry but I can't bear the thought of you driving home, going to bed pissed at me. Please forgive, Arizona. Please."

Arizona had yanked the door open, her movements barely co-ordinated as the frustration and arousal vied for pole position. She just wanted things to be uncomplicated for once, she acutely wanted to be where they were months ago; happy and in love with each other and about embark on the next stage of their relationship. She had felt Callie's warm breath on her mouth, had literally tasted the whiskey on her questing tongue and it had been all she could do to restrain herself from taking what Callie offered and thrusting her eager tongue into Callie's mouth.

Callie reached out again and this time, simply stroked a single finger down Arizona's cheek and then stood there, half propped up by the wall, blinking slowly at her.

"Angel, please don't go...not like this."

"What did you call me?"

Arizona was arrested by Callie's broken whisper and by the name she called her.

"Arizona. I'm an idiot and I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

Arizona shook her head, not sure how to deal with a sexually demanding, determined and drunk Callie. She wasn't used to saying no to her and actually meaning it.

"What did you call me?" she persisted, closing the door and leaning her back against it. She couldn't help but smile at Callie's changing expression.

Her initial relief that Arizona hadn't stormed out was rapidly followed by alarm at the fact that she had revealed something that perhaps she wasn't quite ready to share.

Callie's eye twitched with frustration.

She was still too drunk to come up with a convincing lie or half-truth but not so drunk that she could pretend that Arizona hadn't asked her a question.

She opted for the truth.

It was all she could manage right now.

"In my mind, sometimes...I think of you as an angel... You're...you're my angel, Arizona." Callie dropped her eyes for a second, a little embarrassed but she looked up again and smiled at Arizona, slow and sweet and hopeful all at the same time.

Her dark sleepy gaze was full of trepidation and unconscious love and Arizona felt her frustration and annoyance melt away.

_I am such a sucker for you, Calliope. How can I ever resist you?_

Callie took Arizona's bemused silence for anger and rushed to fill the quiet.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to ... to push you so hard…..to force you …..I didn't mean to frighten you..."  
Arizona had started to shake her head at Callie's words but when her meaning became clear, when she understood why Callie was so upset, she grabbed her hand and held it tight.  
"Don't beat yourself up over something that didn't happen, Callie. You didn't frighten me and I know you would never force yourself on me." Arizona wanted, so badly, to kiss Callie's darkly plum colored lips, she wanted to pull her into the master bedroom and close the door on the world.

She shook her head, halting her fantasy before she made it a reality.  
"We get carried away with each other all the time, Calliope." Arizona blushed a little at her confession but smiled anyway as the tension and fear visibly drained from Callie's face. "Sometimes we can't keep our hands off each other." She was still holding Callie's large warm hand and despite her best intentions, Arizona raised it to her mouth and dropped a kiss in the centre of Callie's palm.  
"I'm not angry and besides, it's kind of sexy to know that you've got a secret nickname for me.  
I like it."

#

"No, no, no. We ARE NOT open to any trauma cases. Because the ER is closed." Callie was practically yelling into the dispatch phone.

A pile up on the nearby highway had pulled every surgeon in a 20 mile radius back to work to help manage the carnage that was being brought in by the busload by the paramedics. If that wasn't bad enough, there were dozens and dozens of walking wounded, seeking help, treatment or comfort.

Callie had started to take a few extra shifts manning the ER since she'd been back for no other reason than it occupied her mind and gave her hands something to do. Obviously, it also meant that she wasn't brooding about Arizona, trying to work out her feelings for Arizona or getting a hard time from Cristina for not asking Arizona to move back.

The ER was blood and guts and pain and despair.

Exactly the light hearted relief Callie was looking for.

Even though she'd volunteered at a local clinic while in Miami, Callie had missed the pure exhilaration that came from surgery or the juggling the unexpected, the arcane and the plain weird of Seattle's ER. It was stressful and hard and sometimes heartbreaking but Callie was glad to be back.

"You know, you handled that shift magnificently." Owen complimented her several hours later when most of the injured had been patch up, shipped off or sent to surgery.

"We really could use you as a trauma surgeon more often, Callie.

"As much as I enjoy the cut and thrust of the ER, I think I'd go grey at the thought of not being able to fix bones for a living." Callie grinned back at the redhead.

"Oh my god, you absolute sweetheart."

Owen raised his eyebrows, more than a little perplexed at Callie's joyous outburst but realised that she was beaming at the sight behind him.

Arizona was skating up to them with a cup of coffee in each hand.

Meredith had mentioned that Callie was up to her eyeballs in the ER and she had wanted to do something, anything to be near her and finally hit on the idea that a cup of coffee would be welcome, even if she was not. She wasn't entirely sure that Callie had forgiven her for turning down her drunken advance on the night of the party.

Arizona hadn't been prepared for the ecstatic greeting and skidded to an abrupt halt, an uncertain smile on her face as she offered the drink.

"," Callie garbled out gratefully as she took a long sip of the java nectar.

"Hmmmm. Baby, that's soooooo good." Callie closed her eyes and luxuriated in the beverage.

Owen's eyes widened and despite herself, Arizona flushed slightly at the pure sensuality in Callie's tone. She had a sudden and vivid flashback to one of the last times they had made love; super-heated flesh, smooth and slick skin, tanned limbs and Callie's body writhing under her mouth.

"I'll just be off..." Owen patted Arizona on the shoulder, a kindly supportive gesture and escaped.

At his voice, Callie opened her eyes, oblivious to the sensations she caused in the paediatric surgeon and grinned in pure pleasure.

As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Callie leaned in and gave Arizona a peck on the cheek, an instinctive, remembered gesture from a past that she no longer had access to.

Even as she drew back, Callie saw a quickly masked flicker of hope in Arizona's eyes and realised how intimate she was being.

"Hmm, you smell good, what is that? Your shampoo?"

Callie blinked and then cursed silently. That was _not _what she had meant to say. She had meant to make a simple comment about the day or her shift or even the weather for Christ's sake something other than '_hmm , you smell good'_.

She shook her head and forced a laughed before Arizona could gather her wits enough to comment.

"It's been a long shift. I must be punch drunk or something." She tried to excuse her comments, trying to read Arizona's expression without being too obvious about it. She had been flirting, plain and simple and after her last knockback from Arizona, justifiable though it might have been, trying her luck again, even unconsciously, was just asking for trouble.

Arizona felt faintly unhinged.

The flashback coupled with Callie acting like her own Calliope, not to mention the peck on the cheek on the check had flummoxed her.

_Pull it together, kid. She's just being her old flirtatious self._

Arizona knew damned well it didn't matter how stern a pep talk she gave herself, she couldn't help but revel in the familiarity.

Fiddling with her coffee, she looked around the now, near deserted trauma bay and smiled at a point 2 inches above and to the left of Callie's ear.

"Seems like you did good here, Callie. I... I'll ... You must have a ton of paperwork. I'll let you get back to work."

She half reached out to pat Callie on the arm but changed her mind half way through and spun on her heel to leave.

There's always a first time for everything and today was no exception.

Later Arizona would put it down to being distracted by Callie's flirting.

Callie, on the other hand, insisted that it was an inevitable fact of Arizona's life and it was always going to happen.

Either way, as Arizona pushed off to leave, she lost her footing and performed a mid-air pirouette that the Bolshoi would have been proud of. That was immediately before she grabbed hold of Callie's lapels, skated wildly and in thin air, much like Road Runner on meth and then fell backwards, pulling Callie down on top of her.

"Ooomph." Arizona had the wind knocked out of her. She could see black spots jumping maniacally in front of her eyes.

Callie scrambled up to her knees; her descent completely cushioned by the smaller blonde who looked stunned by the fall. Amazingly, their cups landed far enough away not to scald them with steaming hot coffee.

"Oh my god, are you ok?"

Callie hands went straight to Arizona's head and neck to check for obvious injuries, her hands firm but gentle as she probed under the heavy fall of hair. Arizona tried to sit up and was held down by a very firm hand in her shoulder.

"Stay." It wasn't a question and Arizona obeyed.

She closed her eyes as Callie's hands gently moved over her face and jaw. She could feel a throbbing on her eye socket and guessed that a black eye was on the cards.

"Goddamn it, Arizona, how many times have I told you about those fucking FUCKING Heeley's." Arizona snapped her eyes open to stare at a furious Calliope.

"I ...I..." Arizona stuttered.

"I don't want to hear it. You could have broken your neck, you know that, right?" Callie was incensed and as her hands checked the rest of Arizona's limbs for injury, she continued with her tirade.

"You could have caught your head on the corner of the desk and cracked your skull wide open. Do you know how fragile the spine can be...?" Dark brown eyes flashed up at bemused blue and Arizona was confronted with concern, anger and fear in Callie's eyes.

"I should never have allowed you to wear those damned things." Callie was muttering to herself now as she moved down to Arizona's legs and ankles, apparently unaware that she was still speaking aloud.

"..._Soy demasiado indulgente con usted_ .. _podría haber estado gravemente herido_.." Arizona wasn't sure how to respond or even if she should when a shock of pain went through her.

At her gasp of pain, Callie's hands stilled for a moment.

"That hurt? I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry. This will only hurt for a second, ok?" As if by magic, the anger and irritation that Arizona's could see in Callie's body drained away and was replaced by an empathetic grimace. "_Te necesito para ser una buena chica, Arizona. Sé que me duele el amor, pero mantenga todavía para mí, será más muy pronto." _Callie murmured quietly, soothing Arizona's discomfort.

Callie was gently probing her left ankle and slowly removed the offending trainer. Alex and a couple of nurses had had run up and a wheel chair was pushed forward.

"I'm sure I don't need ..." Arizona's protests were halted by Callie's actions.

Without a word, Callie scooped Arizona up in her arms and placed her in the wheelchair as if she was made of sugar.

Arizona watched Callie's face in fascination as the woman tended to her like she was a precious and exotic flower or the most important thing on earth or both. She carefully put the collar around Arizona's neck, sweeping her hair up tenderly.

"Karev, I've got about 10minutes of this shift left. Cover me, will you?" Callie threw the instruction over her shoulder as she began to wheel Arizona away.

"Dude, don't you want an intern to do that?" Karev asked referring to the tasks of getting x-rays and, if necessary, setting Arizona's broken bones.

Callie looked at him as if had been speaking in an esoteric version of regional Klingon.

"God, no. I'll take care of Arizona myself."

#

Arizona was embarrassed and awestruck in equal measure.

Callie had taken her to Radiology for her X-Ray and had literally taken over the department. She had interns running tests, getting her pain meds and generally acting as if Arizona was the only patient in the world. She'd been horrified to learn that Callie had ordered a CT scan but had been completely able to persuade her that the test was unnecessary.

She had also been more than a little impressed at how Callie had taken complete charge of the situation and of Arizona. It was both protective and commanding and it filled Arizona with a warm tingly feeling.

She had just been wheeled out of X-Ray and was on a gurney in an exam room, her injured ankle propped up on a small block.

"Callie, it's a sprain. I promise, and a mild one at that."

Callie shot her a stern look and continued to review the films.

"Keep that icepack on your face, Arizona; we want to keep the swelling down." Callie turned back to the hovering tech and exchanged a few words

Despite her earlier tenderness, Arizona suspected that Callie was pissed off at her again and let out a sigh. She probably did deserve Callie's wrath. She had been warned about skating about on her Heeley's and Arizona was fully prepared for another earful from Callie at some point before the day was through.

The tech shot Arizona a sympathetic smile and left the room.

Arizona gave Callie a wide and dimpled smile, really hoping to avert her punishment.

Callie cocked her head slightly and rested her hand on one hip, leaning back to observe her patient and Arizona's smile faltered just a little.

She recognised that look.

Callie really was still furious at her.

Dropping the pretence, Arizona tossed the ice pack aside.

"Cal, I know you're mad at me but I'm not really hurt. I'm fine. I'll be off my feet for a few days and then all will be well."

Callie's eyes narrowed for a second before she picked up some bandages to wrap around Arizona's ankle.

"There's a little tendon swelling but the bone is fully intact. And the point is not that you are fine but that you really could have been seriously hurt, Arizona. Those shoes are a menace."

Despite the contained anger in her voice, Callie's hands were gentle and soft.

Glad that Callie was actually talking to her, Arizona weighed up the sense of arguing about her skates.

"Callie, I could have done this by tripping over my laces while I was out for a run. Random accidents happen all the time."

"This wasn't random." Callie burst out, eyes flashing. "This was an accident just waiting to happen...I can't believe you don't see that."

Swallowing a small smile Arizona decided to drop the matter. She was distracted by Callie's firm soft hands and flashing eyes.

"You think this is funny? You think broken bones and sprains are funny Arizona?" Callie's anger climbed a few notches at the sparkle in Arizona's eyes.

"Nooooo. No, of course not, Calliope. That's...that's not why I'm smiling."

Callie's face, black as thunder, her eyebrows pulled into a scowl, stared Arizona down, watching as the smile grew wider.

"Well?" she demanded.

Trying to swallow her laughter Arizona said, "It's just that you look amazing when you're angry."

Callie's jaw dropped open for a second, nonplussed at Arizona's reply.

The anger dissolved and she closed her eyes for a beat, shaking her head and throwing her hands up in resignation.

"_Por __supuesto__,__me __hubiera esperado __esto,__la única mujer__en el mundo __que __me enamore__ , __de __ella __es __desobediente__, __ella __es __terca__, __que __nunca __me va a escuchar__. __Perfecto__.__¿Cómo puedo __mantener__a salvo__?" _she murmured, exasperated at the, now giggling, blonde.

"What did you just say? Were you being rude to me, Calliope Torres?" Arizona's amused words snapped Callie out of her reverie and she paled slightly at the idea of translating the unexpected thought that had materialised in her head. The fact that she had blurted it out was saved only by her use of Spanish and not English.

Callie knew that the thought wasn't really unexpected. It been there all along, certainly since she'd come back from Miami, waiting for her to recognise it.

"I...I said that you are unbelievable. And not in a good way." Callie improvised, her voice husky and a little ragged.

"Cal, you ok?" Sensitive to Callie's moods, Arizona noted the change in Callie, the sudden tension, the look of bewilderment on her face.

"Let's see about getting some crutches and then I'll take you home." Callie ignored the question and concentrated on the job at hand.

Taking care of Arizona.

#

"Calliope Torres!" Liz Bennett walked into the lounge and stopped short when she saw Callie working on some charts.

"Oh, hey. I haven't seen you around for a while. Where have you been?"

Liz couldn't help but laugh. There was a bitter tinge to the sound and Callie looked up curiously.

"Me? Oh, I've been about, though messed about might be more accurate."

"Huh?"

"Your little girlfriend's posse has been playing merry havoc with my schedule for weeks now, Ben popping up about of the blue any time I'm scheduled to be in a surgery with you to take my place."

Callie frowned and then giggled.

"What? Don't be ridiculous."

"I am not being ridiculous. Arizona Robbins has got her friends, half the hospital it seems, trying to keep us apart." Liz burst out, her voice slightly high and impassioned.

She reddened, realising that she sounded like a hysterical teenager.

"Trying to keep us apart?" Callie pushed her paperwork aside and considered the other woman carefully, her brow wrinkled at the other woman.

"That's not what I meant...not exactly," Liz mumbled.

"Liz, you're a colleague and a friend. I like working with you, you're excellent in the OR, you can hold your liquor and you play a mean game of darts." Callie stood up and walked over to the table to pour a coffee, her brain still processing. She turned to look at the diminutive woman, who stood quietly just inside the room.

"There's no _us_ to keep apart, Liz. And there's no reason for Arizona to think there is an _us._" Callie stared down at Liz Bennett and tried to keep the sudden rush of fury in check.

"Unless you told her that there was." She carefully put her coffee back down before she gave into the impulse of flinging the scaling liquid straight into Liz Bennett's face.

"Did you give Arizona the impression that there was something going on between us?" Callie's voice was low and furious.

Liz rolled her eyes and tried to laugh.

"DID YOU?" Callie demanded again, her body held still but vibrating with pure incandescent rage.

Liz took a hurried step backwards, shocked at the violent fury in Callie's eyes.

"No. Not exactly...I just told her that I was interested and that she didn't have a monopoly on you." Liz admitted quietly.

She realised that, despite her hopes, she had badly miscalculated. She looked at Callie regretfully. The woman was fucking magnificent and unlike the last time she shot Liz down, embarrassed and uncomfortable, this time she was aflame, passionate and angry, her beautiful dark eyes flashing.

Arizona Robbins was a very lucky woman.

Callie swallowed hard and forced her anger down.

She could fix this. She would have to fix this.

She turned away and gathered up paperwork into a messy pile.

As she walked past the silent anaesthetist, Liz caught hold of her arm and a quick bright flash of memory hit Callie between the eyes. This wasn't the first time Liz had touched her.

"Callie, I'm sorry...I thought that maybe..."

Still reeling from the sudden pain, Callie couldn't be bothered with cordiality. She roughly pulled her arm away.

"I don't care what you thought, Dr Bennett. And I don't care if I work with you or not. You're a good doctor, that's all that matters to me, professionally. But if I find out that you've upset Arizona in any way, I swear to god, I'll make you wish for a quick and painless death. Do you understand me?"

Liz nodded once and stood aside as Callie walked out.

#

Up in the Paeds ward, there was always something going on.

It seemed that there were a few birthdays amongst the staff and the patients and the nurses station was decorated with balloons and banners and there was a general air of joviality.

It clashed horribly with Callie's mood.

She was angry at Liz Bennett.

In truth, angry and what she actually felt weren't even in the same solar system; for one horrifying moment Callie was sure that she would physically strike the woman, she had been that enraged.

She looked about the floor and rapidly strode over to Arizona's office.

She could have paged her or arranged to see her later but the emotions coursing through Callie would not be denied. She needed to speak to her now.

She knocked once and opened the door.

Arizona was leaning against her desk, talking to Teddy.

Both women looked relaxed and they turned to smile at Callie.

"Calliope. It's been ages since you've been up here. You ok?"

"Did Liz Bennett tell you that I was seeing her?" Callie dove straight in. It didn't matter that there was an audience, this was far too important to wait to deal with niceties.

"Ok, so I'll see you guys later." Teddy stood up quickly, shot a smile in Callie's direction and left the office, winking at Arizona behind Callie's back.

"What's brought this on?" Arizona prevaricated, wondering what Callie had heard.

It had hurt when Liz Bennett had told her that Callie was fair game and it had nearly killed her to see Liz in Callie's arms but since spraining her ankle Callie had, gradually, cautiously begun to show her a tenderness that boarded on old-fashioned courting. She seemed unwilling to delve back into the passion that they had shared at the party but had been sweet and attentive.

"She told me that...that...it doesn't matter what she said, actually. I wanted you to know that it wasn't true." Callie was fierce and determined and Arizona felt a frisson of arousal at Callie's passionate denial.

"I'm not seeing Liz Bennett and I'm not interested in her. At all." The fire slowly leaked out and Callie wondered if she sounded like a loon.

"I just wanted you to know that...you know...just in case..." She shrugged and turned to leave.

"Calliope, who_ are _you interested in?" Arizona tilted her head and challenged Callie. They'd made progress. Let's see how much.

Callie didn't hesitate.

"Arizona, it's you. You know it's only you."

Arizona nodded thoughtfully, her heart blooming with pleasure.

"Would you like to go on a date with me, tonight?" Arizona asked with a small smile. She knew Callie was still in therapy and was possibly still going through the grieving process over George but a date didn't have to be fraught with sexual tension. A date would be nice.

Callie, however, clearly hadn't thought that far ahead.

"A date... with me?" she faltered

"No, Cal I want to have a date with your evil twin." Arizona smiled. "Yes, sweetie, with you. I'd like to take you out for dinner. Would you like to come?"

A slow smile grew across Callie's face.

Playing it cool didn't even cross her mind.

"Yes, please."

"Awesome, I'll pick you up at eight."

_**TBC**_

* * *

_**Approximate translation, I use Google translate but it does weird things sometimes and the meaning gets lost in translation!**_

_**"I am too lenient with you ... could have been seriously injured."**_

_**"You need to be a good girl for me Arizona and stay still, my love, I know it hurts...it will be over soon."**_

_**and finally...**_

_**"Of course, I should have expected this. The one woman in the world that I fall in love with, she has to be disobedient, she stubborn, she won't listen to me. How can I ever keep you safe?"**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**It seems that there was so much that needed to go into this chapter, that I was always going to struggle to do it justice. Either way, I hope you enjoy the conclusion.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**17**_

Callie avoided Arizona's penetrating gaze and straightened the cutlery for the umpteenth time.

The silence was closing in on her and she didn't know how to fill it. Callie couldn't quite get her head around why she was so jumpy. She and Arizona had now re-formed their easy friendship, the angst and awkwardness of the last month dissipated since the party and while she wasn't quite sure that she was ready to explore her feelings or actually tell Arizona about them, she didn't feel madly uncomfortable in her presence anymore.

At least not until now.

Now, she had a heightened awareness of Arizona's subtle perfume, the golden fall of her hair, the curve of her smile, the swell of her breast...

At the thought of Arizona's soft breasts, Callie's hands jerked and she nearly knocked her wine glass over. A pale shapely hand came across the table and rested softly on her over-active fingers.

"Calliope, honey, it's me. There's no need to be nervous." Arizona's smile was gentle, her voice low and reassuring.

Callie nodded briefly and decided that Dutch courage would get her through the night and took and deep gulp from her glass of red wine.

"Wow, that's a very smooth Merlot," Callie said appreciatively, her tongue flicking out to moisten her lips.

"I thought you might like it," Arizona replied absently, her gaze avidly following the movement of Callie's mouth.

She looked into Callie's eyes for the merest hint of time and then looked away to the view of the harbour.

"It's such a beautiful night, don't you think? I've always found the sea at night to be quite magical." Arizona continued but Callie didn't respond. She had been stunned by the blaze of raw desire that she saw in Arizona's eyes.

Before she could question the sense or perhaps, plain insanity of her actions, Callie said,

"Tell me what you were thinking, just now."

Arizona returned her gaze to Callie, her expression now veiled, carefully pleasant and non-threatening.

"Hmm?" She took a sip from her glass of white wine, trying desperately to keep her emotions in check.

_What she was thinking? Seriously?_ Arizona was thinking that Callie had rarely looked sexier and it was all she could do not to rip her beautiful dress off and bury herself deep in the luscious, slick, hot, tight folds of her womanhood.

But she kept those thoughts to herself.

"I was thinking that you look lovely in that dress. Burgundy suits you." she smiled at Callie, wondering if she would buy it. Callie had always been able to tell when she told a fib. This one was a whooper.

"Bullshit. Tell me what you were really thinking." Callie challenged. She knew that she was being more than just a little unwise in her questions, but some compulsion wouldn't let her leave it alone.

Arizona's eyes darkened, the pupil taking up most of her blue iris.

"Callie ..." there was a warning in her tone but Callie leaned forward, her eyes intent. Wordlessly she insisted.

"I was thinking that your lips are soft and plush and full and that they fit perfectly against mine." Arizona mirrored Callie's posture and also leaned across the table, their bodies close enough to share the heat and electricity that was beginning to rage between them. Her gaze flickered between Callie's mouth and her face, there was no mistaking the rampant desire in those blue eyes and Callie's breath stilled as she felt a corresponding response in the pit of her stomach.

"I was thinking that your tongue is dark with the wine and I know that when I take it into my mouth, when I suck on your warm, moist tongue and stroke it with mine; I will taste you, Callie and the wine.

Callie drew in a shuddering breath and tore her eyes away from the intense blue gaze. The sheer eroticism of Arizona's words had made her body actually tingle and the raised dark hairs on her arms were clearly visible to both women.

"Calliope, darling. Don't start something you can't finish." Arizona folded her hands in her lap to hide their tremble. This was not how she had envisaged the evening. This was _not_ taking it slow and she was in serious danger of allowing her desire for the incredible woman across the table to take control. It didn't help one tiny bit that Callie seemed to be over her attack of nerves and was apparently determined to take them both down a route that was filled with a dangerous longing.

Even now, as she looked up at Arizona through her impossibly long dark lashes, there was an unconscious seduction to the way her lids half lowered as she stared at Arizona.

"Wow." Callie said her voice slightly shaky. "You look so angelic, who knew you had such thoughts roaming around in that pretty head of yours," she joked, not entirely certain that she wanted to lighten the mood. Before she could help herself, she flicked her tongue over her lips again.

Arizona felt another wave of desire slam through her and closed her eyes for a second, attempting to still the mad rush of emotion that was coursing through her.

"Callie, sweetheart. I'm really not joking. Don't be a tease. If you get me started, I will not stop until I have fucked you senseless, all goddamned night long. I will give you so much pleasure you will scream yourself hoarse." Arizona's face was resolute, her passion undeniable. She meant every word.

Carefully folding up her napkin, she looked up at a stunned and obviously aroused Callie.

"I'm going to the bathroom to compose myself. When I come back, we're going to eat a lovely, civilised dinner, drink some more wine, maybe stroll along the harbour and then I'm going to take you home, where I will kiss you good night."

She dipped her head slightly; looking into Callie's bemused face, making sure that she understood. What Arizona really wanted to do to her, _with_ her, was anything but civilised. She wanted to feel Callie's mouth on her body, her nails raking her skin. She wanted to be filled by Callie's strong thrusting fingers, Arizona wanted to come the way only Callie could make her come.

"This is not happening." She waved her hand between them, indicating the heat that still clearly sizzled.

"Not tonight, Callie, not until we're both sure." Arizona stood and looked down, her face unreadable. Her heart was pounding so loudly in her chest, pounding so hard that it actually hurt.

"Callie, if you want me, you can have me, all of me. Every last piece."

Callie looked up into Arizona's face, into her darkened eyes and tried to sit still, her hands were gripping the table so tightly that her knuckles shone white.

"And when you do decide that you want me, you're going to have to ask."

"You're going to have to mean it and then, my love; I will give you everything you need. I will _be_ everything you need, everything you see in your dreams. I will be there to love you each and every night and all through the livelong day. _If _that is what you truly want. "

_Tell me you love me, Callie and I'll be yours forever._

Arizona stared at Callie a second longer and then swung away.

Callie watched Arizona walk away and then picked up her wine glass and downed the contents in one gulp.

She placed the empty glass on the crisp linen table cloth and observed, almost detached, at how much her hand was shaking.

She could not remember a time when she had been so completely turned on. Her breasts felt heavy and she just knew that the nipples had puckered to hardened nubs. And as for the moisture that pooled between her thighs...

Callie knew that she'd pushed the boundaries; she knew that she was playing with fire but there was a tiny voice in her heard still urging her on. Telling her to follow Arizona into the bathroom and see for herself how well their lips fit, how well her hands could cup those amazing breasts ...

_Stop it and get a grip before she comes back and finds you in a puddle under the table._

Callie pulled herself together. Arizona was probably right; now was probably not the best time to explore the heat and passion that flared between them. Probably.

There was far too much at stake for them to throw it away on a night of passion.

_But what was wrong with that_? A small voice asked Callie.

_You love her, she loves you. What's the problem?_

_She wants you to be sure...isn't she sure about you?... you're still in therapy... this is your first date... you're in love with her, just tell her..._

Half a dozen thoughts crowded into Callie brain and she couldn't hold on to a single one.

Arizona said no and even if it killed her, Callie would respect her decision.

_..._

Arizona returned to the table a sent a studied smile in Callie's direction, without actually meeting her eyes.

"More wine?" she asked, raising the bottle and pouring herself a glass of red for a change and topping up Callie's at her nod.

She looked around the restaurant and commented.

"I've always meant to bring you here but never got round to it. It's got a nice atmosphere, wouldn't you say?"

Callie bit her lip in consternation. The last thing she wanted was to push Arizona away.

"Arizona, don't."

Arizona raised her eyebrows in question. "Don't what?"

"Please don't be all nice and polite and distant. I couldn't stand it." Callie took a breath, feeling some embarrassment creep up.

"I'm sorry I... teased you... It wasn't deliberate or anything, I just..." She shrugged, unable to explain her need, unable to express her love.

Arizona sighed and tried to smile. She was on edge; frustration had a habit of eating away at her normally enthusiastic nature. Right now all she could think about was an image of Callie writhing under her mouth, her tanned thighs wrapped about her body, the taste of her... She shook the images away. The only thing waiting for her tonight was an extremely long and very cold shower.

"Look, let's ...let's pretend that we just got here and...and we can order the entree and talk about whether Hasselbeck is the best idea for a starting quarterback and...and what your plans are for the spending review meeting... you can tell me about that paper you were writing..." Callie babbled quickly, wanting to do anything to take away the awkwardness.

Despite her continued arousal and inner turmoil Arizona felt a genuine smile come to her lips at Callie's hopeful expression. She felt some of the tension melt away under Callie's encouraging gaze. In the back of her mind, Arizona recognised that Callie, rather than being passive and afraid, was beginning to assert herself, not allowing Arizona to back away. It was a heartening observation.

"Hasselbeck? He's the guy that throws the ball, right? The one that needs to retire already? Or is he the catcher?" Arizona smiled mischievously, knowing that her deliberately clueless response would get Callie frothing at the mouth. Involuntarily, her eyes dropped to Callie's mouth and her heart quickened.

There really was no cure for what Callie did to her.

#

Arizona took a shower.

It was a long and cold shower and only when she was completely blue and fully resembled a prune did she come out, teeth chattering and cursing under her breath.

Furious at herself and her scruples, she grabbed a towel and began to dry herself, hurriedly rubbing the soft towel over her sensitive skin.

Why did she have to be such a romantic?

Why did she have to insist to herself that she needed Callie's declaration?

They could have been making love right _now_; right here in her apartment, rollicking on the floor, in the bedroom or even in the kitchen, their bodies entwined passionately, their arms about each other holding on tight. Kissing, tasting, touching.

Arizona paused and sighed.

Callie was a great kisser.

Her mouth was warm and wide and gentle and she knew just how kiss Arizona, how to drive her wild, with slow teasing kisses that were as light an angel's breath or deep sensual kisses where her tongue took Arizona to heaven with a simple stroke. Callie was on occasion quite the mistress, her lips firm and passionate letting Arizona know exactly what she wanted.

She closed her eyes and took her mind back to the countless kisses she'd shared with Callie, to the intimacy they had shared at the party, the electricity they shared that evening.

After their little skirmish at the start of the evening, they'd actually enjoyed the meal and each other's company, the easy familiarity and affectionately teasing banter coming back to them without strain.

The cab ride home had seen the tension rise just a little but when Callie was dropped off first she simply looked deeply into Arizona's eyes and said goodnight quietly. Before she got out of the cab her eyes had dropped to Arizona's mouth for a long minute and Arizona's heart had jumped at the thought of a goodnight kiss but Callie grasped Arizona's hand and bent her head low, brushing her lips softly across Arizona's knuckles. She knew she wasn't meant to, but Arizona found the enchanting gesture as sexy as all hell.

Arizona ground her teeth together in frustration as she opened her eyes.

She'd just spent 20 minutes in a cold shower to cool her ardour and now she was raging with desire again.

"Goddamn it, Callie, what are you waiting for?"

Arizona snapped the words out to her empty apartment and then felt a little foolish.

She absolutely knew that Callie was in love with her.

Perhaps not in the same way as before but that the love was there, of that, she had no doubt.

That _Callie_ clearly did have doubts was the problem right now.

Perhaps she was scared of taking things too quickly, it was, after all, for that very reason that she had retreated back to Miami, trying to take things at a pace that allowed her to come to terms with everything that had happened to her.

Or perhaps she wasn't sure of Arizona.

Arizona went to her bedroom and pulled on a pair of shortie pyjama's and wandered about her apartment, completely unable to settle.

Callie must know how much Arizona was in love with her; she'd told her often enough, shown her love in countless ways.

_But you haven't taken her to your bed though, have you? Maybe she thinks that you're having second thoughts about the relationship._

The thought popped into her head and she grimaced, knowing full well that it was just her beleaguered libido talking, trying to get her to call Callie and invite her over.

Arizona picked up her mobile and looked at it, testing the weight of the phone in her hand.

Was she being foolish, waiting for Callie's declaration of love?

Did it matter to her that much that she would deny them both the pleasure of each other's bodies? Of each other's love?

Arizona closed her eyes and thought back to that moment at the party when she realised that she couldn't give Callie up.

She'd acknowledged to herself that she was willing to compromise, was willing to accept Callie any which way she could, with or without her memories. If she could do that, what possible difference would it make to love Callie, totally, passionately, intimately, without hearing those three most vexatious words in Christendom?

Arizona looked down at the phone in her hand, almost willing it to provide some answers and then squealed like a little girl as it vibrated in her hand.

A text message had been received.

From Callie.

Heart pounding like a drum on steroids, Arizona read the 4 short words.

_Are you still awake?_

She texted her reply and grinned like a Cheshire cat.

_Yes. I can't sleep. _

Arizona didn't care what Callie wanted, just that she wanted to talk to her.

She heard a knock at her door and looked down at her phone in her hand, not understanding where the sound came from.

The knocking came again and Arizona jumped and literally scampered to the door, hoping….hoping…..

Wrenching the door open so fast that it swung out of her hand and hit the side cabinet and almost slammed back shut, Arizona, flustered, still a little horny and unbelievably pleased and happy, stared into Callie's amused face.

"Everything ok, here, darling?" Callie drawled, clearly keeping her laughter in check.

"Calliope." After everything, Arizona suddenly found that she had lost her words and simply stood back and allowed Callie into the apartment.

Callie turned to look at Arizona and opened her mouth to speak but it seemed that she had caught Arizona's affliction as no words came out.

She cleared her throat and tried again.

"I've been hanging about in the lobby downstairs around for nearly an hour, trying to work up the courage to ..." She broke off and looked about, avoiding Arizona's gaze.

"I'm pretty certain your concierge has called the cops, I think he thought that I was scoping out the place." Callie forced a small laugh and winced at the weird sound in the silent apartment. Arizona was still, watching Callie closely, her head tilted and looking good enough to eat in her pj's.

_Callie, for fuck's sake. You can do this. You can do this. You want this and so does she. It's what Arizona wants...it's what she needs. _

That single thought, of what Arizona needed spurred Callie on.

Taking a short breath, Callie turned and met Arizona's eyes unflinching.

The love she could see reflected in them melted her fears.

Callie moved her shoulders in the barest hint of a shrug and said.

"I am so in love with you, Arizona. I….I love you."

...

For a split second, Arizona wondered if she was dreaming.

She had longed for this moment for so long, she wouldn't put it past her feverish brain to conjure up this scenario.

She pinched her wrist hard enough to bruise.

"What did you just say?" She asked Callie cautiously.

"I said I love you." Callie responded. "And I do, so very much. I needed to let you know. I...I couldn't keep it in anymore."

Arizona hadn't woken up.

Which meant that either _she_ was now the one in a coma or a dream had just come true.

Either way Arizona flung herself into Callie arms, desperate to hold her close.

"Oh my darling Calliope ...I've loved you for so long."

She felt every hair of her body stand on end, electricity shooting through her as Callie took her into her warm embrace and for a moment they just swayed together to the beat of their hearts.

"I...will you let me love you, Arizona?

Arizona could hear Callie's words against her head and she nodded, unable to speak.

Her heart was too full, it was over-flowing and all she could do right now was hold on tight and pray really hard that she wasn't dreaming.

"I'm in love with you, Arizona but I'm also a little scared."

Callie pulled back a little, just enough to be able to stare into Arizona's eyes.

"I know I'm not really the woman you fell in love with and I'm scared that I can't love you as well as I did before. I'm scared that you'll be disappointed. I know how hard this has been for you, Arizona but I promise you, you won't ever regret loving me. I promise that I'll make you happy."

She leaned her forehead against Arizona's and continued speaking, her voice low and clear and determined.

"Mostly I'm proud of having you in my life. I'm looking forward to learning everything about you, of learning to love you the way you deserve to be loved."

Arizona felt her heart catch on fire as Callie's grasp tightened.

"And I totally understand that this sounds stupid but I want to look at you and know that the love shining in those beautiful blue eyes is for me and not some memory. I want to be the woman that you lavish your love upon, Arizona. I want it to be me."

"Calliope..." Arizona whispered, hardly able to respond. She could feel Callie's heart beat hard and placed her hand on Callie's chest; a calming, soothing gesture.

She looked into Callie's eyes and saw the truth, the love shining back at her.

"Your love is all I need, Calliope. I love _you_."

They stood together for a moment, foreheads touching, fingers entwined until Callie spoke up, her words quiet.

"So, Arizona, I really need you to kiss me now."

"Are you sure?" Arizona wanted to give herself a slap for asking the question.

Callie smiled, her fingers tightening on Arizona's.

"This is not a dream or a nightmare compelling me, it's not me running from my past or blind of what the future might hold. I am in love with you, Arizona. There are no other words to describe what I feel for you."

Arizona decided to take Callie at her word.

She smiled into her beautiful brown eyes and leaned forward, softly brushing her lips against Callie's. Arizona opened her mouth very slightly and captured Callie's upper lip for a second before stroking her tongue against the softness, dipping her tongue into Callie's warm mouth and teasing her lovers tongue. Arizona stole a taste of heaven before pulling back and checking Callie's reaction. Callie's eyelashes fluttered as she opened her eyes and smiled, her breathing slightly rushed. All of the love that Arizona had longed for was shining in Callie's warm gaze. Callie brought her hand up and used a single finger to trace Arizona's lips, an expression of wonder and joy all over her face. She cupped the blonde's cheek and used her thumb to gently caress the corner of her mouth.

Her dark gaze met Arizona's and a sense of peace enveloped them both.

There was no need for words and sharing another slow, intimate smile, they instinctively gravitated towards each other and shared another long sensual kiss.

Arizona tilted her head slightly and dropped the most gentle teasing kisses at either of corner of Callie's mouth, her eyes closed yet feeling the smile on Callie's lips.

Callie sucked Arizona lower lip into her mouth and grazed her teeth against the soft flesh, slowly losing herself in the sensations that engulfed her.

She released a quiet moan and the small sound of desire suddenly galvanised Arizona, the passion and yearning that she had held tightly coiled within her for months burst forth. Arizona was now demanding and reached up and slid her hand through Callie's glossy black hair, grasping the back of her head and urging her even closer.

She deepened the kiss, thrusting her tongue further into Callie's mouth, demanding an equally passionate response and she wasn't disappointed as Callie's tongue duelled with her for dominance.

Her other hand that had been resting chastely on Callie's hip stroked upwards and clasped Callie's breast, her hand kneading the soft flesh, seeking out the hardened nipple, eliciting another wanton moan from Callie.

Wrenching her mouth away, Arizona dragged air into her lungs, her eyes bright and fiery with passion and desire.

"I need to feel your skin against mine, Calliope, I need to taste you and I need it now."

Callie nodded her head avidly, her desire evident in her burning dark gaze.

"Please."

She held out her hand and Arizona grabbed it and led her to the bedroom.

Arizona pulled her back into her arms and whilst raking her teeth along the column of Callie's throat tried to marshal her thoughts. She needed to get Callie out of her clothes pronto.

Arizona clasped Callie's face between her hands and kissed her again, tasting the warmth and sweetness of her mouth, their tongues stroking each other, teasing, stoking the flames higher.

Without warning, Arizona leaned back and yanked Callie's top off and buried her face between her glorious breasts, luxuriating in their softness, inhaling Callie's jasmine scent.

"I have needed this for so long," she muttered quietly as she dropped small open-mouthed kisses on Callie's chest. She could feel Callie's hands stroking her head, could feel the wicked thumping of Callie's heart and hear the harsh pull of her breathing.

Callie was excited.

Reaching round, Arizona swiftly dealt with her pretty, lacy bra and then both women moaned loudly as she latched on to a rock hard nipple, sucking it into her mouth and rolling the tip between her tongue. Callie's hands were now gripping her head harder and she was panting out loud, through the rushing blood in her ears, Arizona could hear Callie's disjointed words.

"That… feels…..so…fucking … good…..Arizona…"

Arizona smiled and raised her head for half a second, catching Callie's attention.

"Baby, I'm just getting started," she promised wickedly, moving over to the other breast.

Callie's back arched as this time, Arizona nibbling on the tip, nipping hard enough for Callie to yelp and then laugh.

"You little bitch…. You're making me so fucking wet."

Arizona felt a flood of moisture at Callie's words and her hands went straight to the buckle on Callie's jeans, determined to taste that wetness herself.

Her hands trembled and she fumbled a moment before Callie placed her hands on top of Arizona's, stilling her frantic movements.

Undoing the buckle herself, she smiled at Arizona, sultry and oh so sexy.

"There's no hurry, my love, we have all night."

Watching her step out of her jeans, Arizona's eyes widened at the fact that Callie had come over to her apartment commando style.

She moved closer and brushed her fingers against Callie's bush. She could smell her arousal, feel her heat, see the glistening black curls and felt her own arousal scream a notch higher.

"Really, Calliope?" Arizona grinned and ran her fingers through Callie's hot, damp curls and stroked her fingers along her burning labia, feeling the woman's arousal coat her fingers and smiled at the whimper that was ripped from Callie's lips at her touch.

Staring into Callie's eyes, Arizona brought her fingers to her lips and tasted Callie on her fingers, her eyes fluttering closed at the sweetness.

"Fuck….baby, you taste divine …. You taste so fucking good…." Arizona whispered, her tongue licking her lips. She could feel the raw desire tremble through her body, clouding her mind of almost everything. The primal urge right now was to throw Callie on the bed and make love to her all fucking night long.

Transfixed at Arizona's actions and enjoyment, Callie's legs buckled a little and Arizona smiled at her reaction, pushing her onto the bed.

"Make yourself comfortable, honey; we're gonna be here awhile." Despite the intensity of the moment, Arizona waggled her eyebrows comically and felt her heart judder at the insanely sexy giggle that came from Callie on the bed.

It took mere seconds for Arizona to rip her pyjamas off and join Callie on the bed. Slowly she stroked her entire torso along Callie's body and the pair of them began to pant loudly at the contact. Arizona's soft breasts and hardened nipples stroked along Callie's warm skin and a smile crossed Arizona's face at the tension and interest and desire written all over Callie's face as she lay there, propped up on her elbows.

Crawling up over her body, Arizona settled herself between Callie's thighs and tenderly clasped one of her breasts between her hands and captured the hard brown nipple again, slowly sucking the whole breast in her mouth, knowing that it drove Callie wild.

Almost on cue, Callie arched her back and thrust her hips up against Arizona, desperate to find some contact. Her hands were sunk into Arizona's blonde hair and she smiled as a torrent of ardent Spanish fell from Callie's lips.

"_T__e sientes tan bien, mi cuerpo está ardiendo por ti, estoy ardiendo por ti. Te amo. Te quiero mucho."_

"Please…please…." she begged, reverting back to English, her hands caressing Arizona's neck.

Moving up Callie's body, Arizona captured her mouth in a deeply carnal kiss, her tongue thrusting deeply and tangling with Callie's.

She manoeuvred so that she was straddling Callie's hips and settled so that her heated core was pressed against Callie's burning clit.

"Oh…..fuck…." Callie blurted out as their bodies made contact.

Arizona looked deep into Callie's eyes as she sat upright on her.

"Do you like how this feels?" She rocked her hips very, very slightly and felt a rush of moisture.

"Oh…. god, yes….yes…." Callie whimpered distractedly, her hands gripping Arizona's hips hard, her fingers digging deep into her soft flesh, keeping her in place.

Arizona gritted her teeth and struggled to keep her desire in check, she wanted to make this last, she had every intention of blowing Callie's mind.

She rocked her hips again, a little firmer this time and smiled at the ragged groan that Callie gave up.

"You sure you like it, Calliope?"

Callie's eyes were burning coals of desire and she bared her teeth at Arizona.

"Fuck me like you mean it, Arizona."

At the challenge, Arizona grinned and leaned forward to drop a fast hard kiss on Callie's lips.

"Them's fighting words, my darling Calliope, but I aim to please." Arizona grinned and settled her hands on each of Callie's breasts and began to rock her core against Callie's clit.

This time she wasn't playing and as she varied the speed and length of her strokes, both women began to cry out in pleasure.

Arizona's hyper-sensitive clit stroked intimately against Callie's in a rhythm as old as time, her slim hips riding Callie with purpose. She moved one hand from a breast and placed it in the middle of Callie's chest, wanting, needing to feel the beat of her lover's heart. She wanted to change positions but the exquisite pleasure coursing through her at their contact, the pleasure she felt at Callie's obvious enjoyment kept her stroking them higher and higher.

Callie's pleasure was vocal and highly visible, she muttered in Spanish, her voice raw and husky, encouraging Arizona to take them over the edge and into oblivion.

Arizona's lids had lowered but her eyes were fixed on Callie's faces as she drove them ever closer to the point of combustion.

The pleasure that coursed through her was unlike anything she could ever remember feeling and was due, in no small part to the expression on Callie's face.

It was the look of love that she had so badly missed.

Callie reached her hand out and scraped her nails down Arizona's abdomen, fascinated by the contracting muscles, at the sight of Arizona's firm breast, their tight blushed pink nipples. The sensations aroused by Arizona's firm strokes radiated from her clit to every nerve in her body.

In her wildest fantasy, she had never imaged that love-making with Arizona could feel so incredible and despite how good it felt to be so intimately close to Arizona, she wanted more.

"Come…." she panted the words out, the need to have Arizona closer almost overwhelming.

"Please ….. I need to feel you….. all of you."

Arizona was so far gone, she wondered if she would be able to stop or even slow down to respond to Callie's plea.

"Arizona please let me feel you."

Callie's whispered request, her grip tightening, penetrated Arizona's fog of arousal and she finally slowed down and adjusted her position, sliding her body between Callie's thighs, resting her weight on her, slowing her movements.

"Is this what you want, my love?" Arizona asked tenderly, watching as Callie's eyes closed at the full body contact.

Nodding contentedly, Callie's arms tightened around her back, the tips of her fingers stroking along Arizona's spine.

"You're so soft ….so soft…so incredible..." Callie murmured, her eyes opening and staring into Arizona's. She lifted her head and captured Arizona's lips in a tender kiss.

Arizona leaned slightly to one side and slowly stroked her fingers down Callie's body until she reached her swollen labia.

She smiled at the gasp that came from Callie at her touch.

"You are so wet, Callie….so hot…" Arizona whispered as her fingers began to rub at Callie's clit, feeling the bud of nerves harden at her touch.

She stroked her fingers lower and swirled the tip of her finger at Callie's entrance, smiling as Callie's hips jerked at the touch.

Arizona buried her face into Callie's neck and took gentle sucking bites out of the soft sensitive skin. She could taste Callie's sweat as it poured off her body and the salty taste excited her.

"I've missed doing this, Callie," she murmured. "I've missed the feel of your hard clit between my fingers, I've missed hearing you cry out loud when I squeeze you." She put her words into action and squeezed Callie's clit and then smiled at Callie's throaty cry.

"Hmmmm, that's exactly what I'm talking about, darling." Arizona's lips curved in a satisfied smile.

Callie forced her eyes open, her gaze glittering with barely controlled emotion.

"Are… you ….. teasing …..me?"

"Teasing? No, love ….I'm not teasing you…" Arizona's fingers slowly meandered back down and paused for a beat.

"I'm just fucking you like I mean it, darling." She sunk two fingers into Callie, all the way and held on as Callie half rose off the bed.

Arizona began to pump her fingers into Callie, hard and deeply penetrating thrusts, feeling the slick folds, tight around her fingers.

"Oh …. sweet …. fuck…..fuck…" Callie cried out, her head flung back, eyes squeezed tightly shut and her fingers raking down Arizona's back.

"This is what I've dreamt of doing, Calliope….every night when I close my eyes, all I do is dream of you…." Arizona speeded up her strokes to match the rhythmic thrusts of Callie's hips all the while whispering into her ear.

"I dream of taking you to places that only I can take you to, darling."

Arizona felt Callie's hand grip a handful of her hair and pull at her, bringing their faces close together.

"I love you…I love you….. you need to know….how much….." Callie panted the words out even as she felt her disintegration begin.

Her feet were planted on the bed and her hips rose off the bed as Arizona's thumb began rubbing her clit between thrusts.

Arizona bent down and kissed Callie hard, her tongue mimicking the movement of her fingers, she knew Callie was close, she could feel the clenching of her body around her fingers, she could feel the scratches as Callie raked her nails down her back and finally the deep guttural screams of release, Callie's body moving of its own volition, flung mindlessly down a vortex of pure sensation and pleasure.

"Calliope, open your eyes….look at me." Arizona commanded and without hesitation, Callie's eyes fluttered open.

She was still in the throes of her orgasm, disorientated but, unerringly, her dark gaze met Arizona's.

"I love you, Calliope. I love _you_, not a memory. You are the woman I am in love with. Do you understand me?"

Callie nodded once and a ghost of a smile crossed her face before her next orgasm hit and took her away but she opened her eyes again and this time tumbled through the vortex staring into Arizona's eyes.

Gently, Arizona finally withdrew her fingers and watched mesmerised as Callie shuddered again.

"Come here…on top of me...let me hold you…." Callie muttered even as the erotic turbulence within her took over again.

Callie's arms tightened around Arizona as the shock waves erupted and even after the violence of the storm had passed, Callie's arms held Arizona in a death grip.

Arizona felt the breath squeezed out her body and smiled, a little shocked at herself. She had forgotten that Callie could sometimes so completely lose herself in their passion that she would crush Arizona in her arms. Once she even came close to cracking a rib.

"Calliope…..darling... can't breathe." She gasped out and nipped Callie's shoulder to get her attention. Callie's embrace loosened, but only slightly.

Arizona watched Callie carefully as she came down, it was one thing for Callie to declare that she was in love with Arizona, but it was a completely different matter to be comfortable with their intimacy, with their incredible love-making.

Arizona wanted to be sure that Callie was ok …. With everything, with all of their love.

"You ok, baby?" Arizona dropped a kiss on the bite mark she had left on Callie's shoulder and then looked into her eyes.

Callie blinked slowly and a smile grew across her face.

"Arizona… you're amazing… that was unbelievable…." She reached up and wrapped her arms around Arizona's neck and kissed her face.

"Were we...was it always this...this..." she paused, lost for words and then laughed. "Was it always this totally mind-blowing?"

Arizona couldn't conceal her smile of satisfaction, to have brought Calliope so much pleasure made her heart bloom and her body tingle. She nuzzled Callie and smiled into her eyes.

"We were always amazing together, darling."

Callie nodded thoughtfully and then gave Arizona a look.

It was a look Arizona recognised but before she could say anything, Callie had moved suddenly and flipped Arizona over and onto her back and began to work her way down Arizona's body, dropping random kisses along the way.

"I have waited all evening to do this, Arizona..." she bent her head and took a nipple between her lips and then sighed.

"All day... all week... all month... I've waited to taste you, to touch you...to see you, my angel."

Callie leaned back and took a long moment to survey Arizona's flushed and pink skin. Her dark eyes glittered and Arizona felt her entire body glow with a heat that Callie's gaze ignited.

"You are so beautiful...so beautiful." Callie whispered the words as she leaned down over Arizona's body and continued to drop warm teasing kisses.

She hovered over a nipple and flicked her tongue out, barely tasting it but providing enough contact for Arizona to moan out loud.

"I've loved the look of your lips, the fullness of them, the deep rosy pinkness." This time, Callie took a long sucking pull on the hardened tip and Arizona squirmed in pleasure, totally aroused by the feelings that Callie generated within her and by the sight of Callie's jet black hair trailing over her pale skin.

"But you know what fascinates me, Arizona?" Callie was still waxing lyrical of Arizona's body and switched to the other breast.

"Hmmm?" Arizona held Callie's head close to her and began to rock her hips against Callie's abdomen.

"It's the fact that your nipples are the exact same colour as your lips...did you know that, darling?"

Callie's eyes, burning dark and wickedly amused peeked up for a moment to stare into Arizona's distracted gaze.

"Every time I look at you now, all I'm going to think about is suckling on these sweet, beautiful nipples."

"Ahhh...ok..." Arizona was barely coherent, slowly going out of her mind with need.

Callie rubbed her face in the hollow of Arizona's stomach and then placed a long, sucking kiss on one hip and then the other, her soft breast swaying between Arizona's thighs.

Callie buried her face between Arizona's legs and blew gently into the damp curls. She wanted to taste Arizona so badly but also was determined to make this memorable.

She moved closer and placed the lightest of kisses on Arizona's clit and felt the woman's body rise.

Callie flicked out her tongue and slowly dragged it along the length of Arizona's pink distended flesh and smiled at the strangulated moan that came from above.

She could feel Arizona's hands buried in her hair, her blunt nails scraping against her scalp and felt her body rise and writhe the harder she stroked.

Arizona moaned out loud feeling her body pulsate with every stroke of Callie's inventive tongue.

She groaned in disappointment as Callie lifted her head and stared at Arizona from between her thighs.

"Is...it it good for you Arizona? Am I doing it right? I want you to feel good, darling."

A choked laugh squeezed out of Arizona's mouth and without apology she pushed Callie's head back down to her throbbing clit.

"Perfecto, Calliope darling, perfecto. Just...don't stop...don't stop."

Callie slid her hands under Arizona's firm backside and lifted her up as if drinking from a chalice, lapping up Arizona's sweetness, hungry for more. She took Arizona's clit between her teeth and slowly gently bit down once, twice before wrapping her tongue around the bundle of nerves and sending Arizona into a spiral.

"Oh god...darling, please...please...this is so fucking good..."

Arizona knew that she was probably screaming at the top of her lungs but couldn't care less.

Her mind was a jumble of thoughts and not a single one could stick. Callie's mouth, her hands, her body….. it all felt so fucking good.

The sensations rippled through her body like molten lightening, firing up every single one of her nerve endings. The pleasure was indescribable... her head was flung back, eyes squeezed shut and her breath came in short, hard pants. Her back arched and her hands clutched at Callie's hair in sheer desperation.

Callie changed positions slightly and without warning, plunged her tongue in the deep moist recess of Arizona. She had to tighten her hold of her hips as Arizona's movements became wildly disjointed.

Callie loved the taste of Arizona, her sweetness and the softness but there was something else she wanted to do and moving slightly she slowly inserted one, two fingers deep into Arizona while sucking on her clit at the same time. She began to pump in and out, so very slowly that Arizona tugged at her hair.

"Faster...please Callie, more...faster..."

Callie complied immediately and added to Arizona's distraction but rolling her clit between her tongue and pumping harder and faster. She could feel Arizona tighten around her fingers but didn't let up for a second.

Arizona's response was to give full reign to her cries of pleasure, her hips bucking wildly at Callie's ministrations.

Arizona came hard.

Like never before, she could feel her soul shatter in to a million sparkling pieces and come together again like an ever heated pool of mercury.

Arizona could barely hang on to her sanity. It seemed that she had been waiting forever for this moment, for Callie to touch her and turn her into an ember, a molten boneless entity that survived on pure sensation and emotion alone. She had waited for Callie forever and as her orgasm shattered her mind and soul, the tears of relief and joy spilled out of her closed eyes.

Callie slowly stilled her fingers and when she was sure that Arizona could take no more, she carefully withdrew and slid up Arizona's body to hold her as she continued to sob.

"Baby...it's ok, Arizona. It's ok, my darling." She crooned, stroking Arizona's back gently aware of the deep emotion that had led to this wave of tears.

"I missed you so much."

"I know, darling. I love you."

#

Basking in the afterglow and exhaustion of several hours worth of becoming _re-acquainted_ with one another, Arizona stroked Callie's back and sighed contentedly.

"Calliope?"

"Hmmm?" Callie was half-asleep and still half out of her mind at the pleasures she'd experienced with Arizona. She had, indeed screamed herself hoarse. She was now sprawled all over Arizona, her face buried in the soft fragrant hollow of her neck.

"When did you know that you loved me?" Callie raised her head and gave her a long look, her dark eyebrow arched. She hesitated with her response and gave a crooked smile.

"Guess."

"Was it that time when you were treating my ankle?" Callie's expression changed and she gave Arizona a surprised look.

"Clever girl, you're almost right. What gave me away?" she rewarded her with a teasing kiss on her shoulder, the tip of her tongue tickling.

"I really wasn't sure but your expression, it told me a thousand different things, you looked so shocked and bewildered and pleased and frightened all at the same time. You looked like the goose who found out that she was going to lay the golden egg."

"Cute." This time Callie used her teeth on Arizona's shoulder.

Callie gave Arizona another long considering stare.

"You want the truth?" she asked, slightly hesitant.

"No, darling, I'd like you to lie to me." Arizona grinned cheekily as Callie rolled her eyes.

"You're gonna think me...a little bit nuts, especially considering how I treated you."

"Nuts is part of the package I signed up for... tell me."

"I'm pretty certain that deep down I started to fall in love with you when you extubated me."

Arizona raised her head to take a closer look into Callie's eyes.

"Really?"

"You were holding my cheek, so ...so softly, so tenderly. I think you might have been crying because your eyes were amazingly blue and bright like the sky on a clear rainy summer day."

Callie bit her lip and closed her eyes, remembering the images of that day, the wild and frightening emotions.

"Your eyelashes were spiky and wet and a tear rolled down your cheek and dropped on my face. You called me honey and you said _I've got you_ with that sweet voice of yours. As scared as I was then, you ... you made my heart melt. You stilled my fears, you took away my pain, Arizona. How could I not fall in love with you?"

Arizona was silent for a moment, taking in the words, basking in the burning love that enveloped her at Callie's words.

"I loved you then, Callie. I love you, still. I don't think I could ever stop loving you."

Callie gave her a considered look.

"You never doubted ...that ... that ...I would come back to you?"

Arizona could read the insecurity, the fear in Callie's eyes. She was always going to be sensitive about some things. Her mind wandered back to Callie's impromptu party, the emotions she felt when she considered whether waiting for Callie's love was worth it. Her mind went back further, to Callie's sudden departure to Miami.

That pain was in the past.

Arizona looked deeply into Callie's dark brown eyes, it was important that all the love she had inside for Calliope was shining out for her to see.

"I had hope, Calliope. It was hard, it was heart-breaking but I always had hope."

Callie chewed her lip hard as she stared at Arizona. She could feel something shift in her chest and knew that her love for Arizona had just solidified a little more.

She leaned forward and brushed her lips along Arizona's.

"I...love you so much Arizona ..." she bit off her words and buried her face in Arizona's still damp, heated skin.

"Calliope, talk to me." Arizona had read the look of frustration on her face, the sheen of tears in her eyes.

"I love you Arizona I swear I do but...they're just words...they don't mean much in isolation and the things that I want to ask you...I'm scared to rush things and..."

Callie was hesitant.

She knew that she had no need to be but she was scared. Perhaps because she knew how much was at stake, how much there was to lose, she was frightened of not doing enough to secure Arizona's love; to prove her love.

She took a deep breath and stared into the steady, loving gaze of her angel.

Arizona loved _her_. She loved her.

"I want you to ...would you...would you come back to our old apartment, please?" Callie asked the question in a rush, her words tumbling out of her mouth, her eyes hopeful and her heart pounding.

Arizona released the breath she didn't realise she was holding.

She had to be prepared for Callie to be a little skittish and uncertain but though she had hoped for this, it was a dream that Callie was ready to take this step right now.

She smiled at Callie and stroked her face.

"We can move my stuff back tomorrow, if you like?"

"I like. I like a lot." Callie affirmed, the grin on her face attesting to her relief and pleasure at Arizona's easy acceptance.

"Calliope, it's going to be ok. We're going to be ok. We're going to better than ok, we're going to be fantastic." She licked her lips and chose her words with care.

"We've been through hell and we're finally getting to through to the other side..." She looked at Callie willing her to understand. "It...it hurts...I'm sad that you don't remember our life before, how much we loved each other but I have you back, Callie. You're alive and well and against all odds you love me. I know that there's stuff that you're still struggling with and I know that you hate that your memories haven't returned but baby...we can deal with that together." She smiled at Callie and used her thumb to caress her cheek. "I'll support you ...whatever it takes because I need you in my life, Calliope. I lost you before, darling. I simply couldn't ...I'm not strong enough to lose you again."

...

Callie gritted her teeth and kept her breathing even.

It was harder to keep her trembling under control but after the night that she had just shared with Arizona, she didn't want to worry her or worse give her any more reason to hurt.

The nightmare slash memory of Arizona walking away had disturbed Callie's dream almost every night and she had known that it was a possibility that it would continue to plague her.

Something that hadn't occurred to her before suddenly began to make sense and for the first time Callie was anxious for her next appointment with Wyatt, hoping for support in clarifying another piece of the puzzle.

She looked over at Arizona, who was sprawled on her front, one arm flung over Callie, where it had been all night, anchoring their bodies together. It was as if Arizona was unconsciously making sure that Callie remained close all night.

Her blonde hair fell in tumbled curls over her face and Callie lifted some strands to examine her face more closely.

The feeling came again, that feeling of joy and relief and happiness and a little fear, shivered through Callie as she stared at the sleeping face of Arizona Robbins.

"_Te amo__.__Te quiero__mucho__.__No__quiero__este__sentimiento__hasta el final." _Callie whispered the words quietly as her gaze roamed Arizona's face.

Unexpectedly, Arizona's eye lashes fluttered and her eyes opened to stare directly into Callie's.

"_Te amaré__por siempre__,__mi amor__." _Arizona replied sleepily, rolling over and snuggling into Callie's body.

She caught Callie's agog expression and gave her a kiss.

"Don't have a heart attack sweetie, I've only managed to pick up a few phrases."

Callie let out a small chuckle.

She looked up at Arizona who was leaning over her, her blonde hair creating a curtain that surrounded them both, blocking out the weak sunshine.

"A few phrases? Really, like what?"

Arizona bent a dropped a kiss on Callie's lips, feeling her face go pink.

"Hmmmm ... _Quiero__que__me jodas duro__toda la noche." _

At Callie's burst of raucous laughter, she blushed some more.

"Who the hell taught you to say that?" Callie giggled, stunned at Arizona's audacity.

"Aria." Arizona admitted grinning a little at Callie's amusement.

"Figures... did she tell you what it meant?"

"Nah, I first asked Dr Alonzo from oncology..." She winced at Callie's squeal and offered up a shamefaced smile.

"Yeah, I know, pretty dumb, huh? He hasn't looked me in the eye since. I ended up using google."

Callie clasped Arizona's face in her hands and gave her a loud smacking kiss.

"You crack me up, you gorgeous little airhead."

She gave Arizona another kiss and then sighed.

"Being with you, like this, it's like a dream come true."

"For me too, baby. For me too."

They smiled at each other for a moment.

"Shower, breakfast and then we move your stuff back to our old apartment?" Callie suggested, grinning as little as Arizona wriggled her body against hers.

"Sounds like a plan..." Arizona trailed off, slightly wistful.

"What's the matter? You want to stay and...play for a while?" Callie's fingers meandered suggestively along Arizona's spine.

"I really want to ...play for a while but I'm still so tired from last night." Arizona pouted.

Callie looked over at the clock, it was quite early, they'd barely had 3 hours sleep.

She raised her eyebrows.

"In my book, wearing you out with...play, is a good thing."

Arizona pouted some more.

"Hmmm, but I want some more...the mind is willing but the body is knackered."

Callie started laughing at Arizona's mournful expression.

"I'm pretty certain that there's a special place in hell for people who misquote scripture especially when referring to sex. Noisy, energetic sex." She dropped a quick kiss on Arizona's pouting lips.

"I absolutely promise you that we'll move, have a nap and then ...play for as long as you can stand it." Callie sat up and stretched, pushing her hair out of her eyes and shivered a little as Arizona's eyes darkened as she took in her naked body.

"And if you're good, I'll fuck you hard all night long as well."

#

Callie brushed her teeth and tried to work out what words to use. After her epiphany regarding her nightmares, she knew it was a good idea and didn't think that Arizona would object.

Arizona was in the shower and she was about to join her but Callie knew that she had to get this question out of the way.

She spat and rinsed and then sat on the closed toilet seat and stared hungrily at Arizona's fuzzy image through the frosted glass. Her body ached, all over, muscles that she didn't even know existed, had been stretched and pulled and worked out in more than half a dozen permutations. Last night had been a revelation in more ways than one.

Arizona was a tender, generous lover willing to allow Callie to take the lead. But she was equally dominant and took Callie's breath away by her control, taking Callie to a screaming orgasm time and time again, all the while holding back on her own pleasure.

Callie had been a little stunned to find that she was a little violent in bed, pinning Arizona down on more than one occasion and she and worried that she might have hurt Arizona with her enthusiasm. Arizona, on the other hand, had seemed to love Callie's forcefulness, encouraging her by word and deed. Apart from anything else, Callie had been astonished and excited by what a dirty mouth Arizona had during sex.

Making love with Arizona was so utterly different from anything she had ever experienced that Callie shook her head in disbelief that she hadn't at least remembered their love-making.

"I thought you were going to join me?"

Arizona poked her head out and playfully splashed some water on Callie, bringing her out of her lust-filled reverie.

"We both know that if I join you, a, we'll run out of hot water and b, we'll never leave the apartment," Callie grinned as Arizona stuck her tongue out.

"And...I wanted to ask you something."

Arizona strolled out of the shower and grabbed the towel Callie held out to her. She stood in front of Callie, gloriously naked, beads of moisture running down her body, between her buoyant pink tipped breasts, along her toned belly and into the dark blonde thatch of hair between her legs and dried her hair, fully aware of what effect her actions had on the dumb-struck Callie.

"What did you want to ask me?" she asked innocently, not really trying to hide her smile.

Callie's eyes avidly followed a drop of water as in disappeared between the short dark curls and tried to breathe.

"You are such a tease."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Arizona lied cheerfully, wondering if she could tempt Callie back to bed. The hot shower had revived her and she had hours of play on her mind.

Callie looked up into Arizona's eyes and read the desire there. For a moment she toyed with the idea of leaving her request unspoken for the time being and giving Arizona what she clearly wanted. But she decided that it would be doing them both a disservice.

"Arizona, can I ask you something?"

Eyes flickering, Arizona immediately caught the seriousness in Callie's voice and responded at once, wrapping a towel around her body.

"What is it, Callie?"

"I...I've been thinking that... it might be a good idea if you came to some of my sessions with me. My sessions with Dr Wyatt." She explained unnecessarily.

She shot a look at Arizona's thoughtful face and calmed down a little. This wasn't going to be as difficult as she thought it might be.

"It's not so much that you, personally need to be there, but I think it would help me get more insight into our past relationship...help me understand our dynamic a little better. Do you... would you mind coming, you know, once in a while?"

Arizona smiled down at Callie and cupped her cheeks in either hand. Tilting Callie's head up she dropped a kiss on her soft lips.

"Calliope, you're my best...my dearest friend, you're my love. I would do anything for you. Just tell me when and where."

Callie smiled and felt the weight she didn't realise that she was carrying lift from her shoulders.

Somehow she knew that if she worked hard, if she tried with all that she had within her she might get her memories back and perhaps she could love Arizona a little bit better, a little bit more.

#

Callie was standing at the nurses' station up on the Paeds floor, waiting for Arizona. They were going to share a coffee while they both had a few minutes spare in their schedules.

It was their first day back at work as a couple and it had taken almost her entire stock of willpower not to have dragged Arizona into an on-call room and have her wicked way with her every chance she got.

Not that their relationship was based on merely the physical, Callie adored Arizona's mind, her intellect, her kindness but there was no getting away from the fact that she found the paediatric surgeon utterly desirable in every way.

"Oh my."

Callie looked about her wildly, surprised out of her daydream by Bailey's half amused interruption.

"What?"

Bailey gave her a thorough once over.

"Glad to see you and Robbins have resolved things."

"Wha...? What? I'm...I'm just waiting on a consult." Callie spluttered, blushing despite herself.

"Right. And I'm the Dalai Lama, full of peace and tranquillity." Bailey cocked her head at Callie and grinned.

"You're standing up here with the dopiest, soppiest expression known to man on your face as you stare into Arizona's office and you have bags the size of Texas under your eyes. The whole hospital knows what you've been up to last night and it wasn't a mega-surgery."

Callie gave it up and a wide beam spread across her face.

"I told her that I loved her."

Bailey leaned back and looked up at her colleague.

"Well, about goddamned time. The pair of you are good for each other."

Callie laughed out loud.

"If I hugged you right now, would you hurt me?"

"You hug me in full view of the interns and nurses, I will smack up upside your head, you know that Torres. Now, make sure you take care of that girl, Torres, she's been through hell and back."

Unbelievably touched that Bailey would look out for Arizona, Callie was tempted to hug her anyway but Miranda, correctly reading Callie's mind, skipped away.

"Save it for your girlfriend, Torres, I've got work to do."

#

Mark chewed his lip and contemplated the item on his desk.

The shape and size and weight of the item indicated that it was a boxed bottle of some kind. Probably fluid, but he couldn't be sure.

The incredibly bright pink wrapping and huge bow made it clear that it was a gift.

For him.

Mark ran through who might possibly try to unman him in this manner.

Callie? But she tended to go straight for the physical punishment route.

Lexie? She was more likely to slap him than buy him a gift.

Addison? But he was currently in her good books, more or less. And bright pink wasn't really her style.

Pink.

Mark turned round and caught the culprit grinning at him from the doorway.

"Funny thing. I don't think I've ever seen you in pink, Robbins."

Arizona shrugged.

"I like the feminine idea of pink more that I actually like wearing it. You haven't opened your gift."

Mark raised an eyebrow.

"I'm scared it's going to blow up in my face. A massive pink marsh mellow bomb or something."

Arizona merely grinned at him.

"Open it, you'll like it. I promise."

Ripping the wrapping off and trying not to shudder at the paper, Mark whistled in appreciation as he considered the label on the box. Lowland Malt _Auchentoshan 1957 - 50 Year Old - Sherry Cask._

"Jesus, Arizona, where the hell did you find this?...and why?"

Arizona tilted her head and looked up at Callie's sometimes annoying best friend. He had been a friend to both of them in more ways than she could actually express to him.

"It took some searching but, I thought you'd enjoy it and despite absolutely everything to the contrary, Mark, you're a good guy." She reached up and gave him a small kiss.

"You were right to tell me to trust in Callie and I'm so glad I did. Thank you, Mark."

Surprised at Arizona's emotional response, Mark was slightly embarrassed to find a small lump in his throat.

"You and Callie are as much my family as Derek and Meredith, I...I'm just happy things turned out ok for you guys."

While still salivating over the rare bottle of whiskey Mark added,

"And I kind of guessed you two had worked it out, the sexual tension between the pair of you at lunch was enough to give me a raging..."

Arizona had clearly taken lessons off Callie and landed a solid fist into his chest and caused him to muffle the rest of his words.

#

Callie could hear music.

It was a beautiful haunting melody and for a moment she lay still and listened, allowing the strains to flow through her like ribbons of fluid silver.

It was probably close to mid-day, Callie hadn't been able to get out of surgery until the early hours, managing to get caught in a 36 hour shift. She hadn't done that many hours since her residency and it had kick her ass good. She had fallen into bed just after dawn, hoping that she hadn't woken Arizona with her stumbling about.

She rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling letting the music wash over her, ridding her of the last traces of exhaustion.

She sat up and frowned slightly.

She knew this piece, it was one of her favourite violin solo and orchestra pieces, the Lark Ascending but it was more than just simple recognition. There was something achingly familiar about the music and she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.

...

Arizona was in the kitchen peeling carrots and swearing softly under her breath.

She was user a peeler and it wasn't hard nor did it take very long but she hated doing it anyway.

But she wanted to try out their new juicer and was planning to wake Callie up with a carrot, apple and ginger juice, so she would continue to peel the 8 carrots that the recipe called for even if it killed her.

She was concentrating so hard at her task she didn't see the bedroom door open and jumped as a warm pair of arms circled her from behind.

"Hey sweetie, did the music wake you?" Arizona relaxed and sunk back into Callie's arms, turning her head and squirming a little as Callie buried her face in to Arizona's neck.

"No, not really, it's just... I know this music."

Arizona reached out and paused the I- pod in its docking station.

"It's the Larking about one that you like so much," Arizona teased.

Callie swatted Arizona's behind and moved back to lean on against the fridge. Arizona was wearing short shorts and an old sweatshirt. She had her hair up in a loose pony tail and looked about 21 years old.

"It's The Lark Ascending, smartass and it's not that...it's the performance. I know this performance, I'd put money on the fact that I've heard this before. This particular performance, it's live, it's not in a studio and the violinist is probably a little inexperienced... some of the movements are a little rushed. But it's a live recording. And I recognise it."

Arizona slowly turned round to face Callie, a smile of wonder growing across her face.

"So?"

"So, I've never been able to hear this live, I've always wanted to but I never did." Callie shot a look at the smile on Arizona's face and halted her explanation and raised her eyebrows, wanting to hear Arizona explain herself.

"It is a live recording, Calliope. It was recorded in your hospital room by a young man called Josiah Benton."

Callie frowned, not quite understanding.

"You repaired his hand and arm and gave him back his future. He's a nice kid and he came by to say thank you."

Arizona walked over to Callie and put her arms around her partner's neck and leaned into her, pushing her black hair away from her face, using the tips of her fingers to sooth away the frown lines between Callie's brow.

"This impromptu performance was his way of saying thank you. We recorded it for you and I have to admit, I played it so often that your nurses threatened to ban me from your room."

But...how ...I actually remember it...I was in a coma..."

Callie was astounded at the fact that she could remember the music.

"This is good, right? This is good news. It means ..." Callie began excitedly.

"It means that some of your memories are still coming back...Callie." Arizona squeezed Callie, hoping that she didn't crush Callie's enthusiasm. Callie had been disappointed that more of her memories hadn't come flooding back.

"Cal, darling, remember what Dr Wyatt said, it will take time and there's still no guarantee about anything." She chewed her lip and stared into Callie's eyes. Callie wanted this so badly that Arizona was worried that it would overshadow the miraculous fact that they were together again. It had been a few weeks and Callie had started to broach the subject of them moving into their own apartment soon.

"Arizona..." Callie started but stopped when Arizona placed her fingers over her lips.

"Baby, I know you want this for me even more than you want it for yourself but you're going to put too much pressure on yourself."

Callie swallowed her words and her disappointment and forced a smile to her face, nodding in agreement.

"Of course, sweetheart. You're right." She gave Arizona a tight hug and then began to move away, but was halted by Arizona tugging her back into her arms.

"Calliope, I know you think that I'm missing out... being short-changed or something by your memory loss, but my darling girl, please believe me when I say that you couldn't love me any better than now. You couldn't love me any more..."

Callie leaned her forehead against Arizona's to avoid looking into her eyes. She didn't want to cry and Arizona's steadfast, loving blue gaze would be her undoing.

"It's not just the love, though that's a big part...but it's the shared experiences, the things that we did together, the things that meant something to us, the things that made us a couple..."

"Calliope. Stop. Please." Arizona spoke firmly and gripped Callie's head and pulled back so that they were staring into each other's eyes.

"Stop stressing because that really won't help matters along. And we can have new experiences and create new memories because we are together. OK?" She gave Callie's head a brisk shake, inadvertently knocking their foreheads together.

"Owwww." Arizona yelped, rubbing her forehead. She winced and looked up at Callie who was mirroring her actions.

"I'm sorry, hon. You ok?"

"Hmmm, what were we just talking about?"

Arizona's eyes widened with alarm until she saw the devilish twinkle in Callie's dark eyes.

"Pysche."

"You little bitch, that's not even a little bit funny..."

Arizona started to chase Callie around the kitchen to give her a well-earned slap.

#

#

"Well, that went well." Arizona shot an optimistic smile in Callie's direction, knowing full well that the end of the evening had nearly deteriorated into an unpleasant spat.

Callie didn't take her eyes off the road but clashed the gears slightly in an instinctive response to Arizona's comment.

"You're frigging kidding me, right?" Callie's voice was tight and her brows were drawn together in a frown.

"Ok, I know things got ... a little heated but you can understand their point of view, Callie, surely?"

Arizona sighed and shifted in her seat.

They had spent the evening with some of Arizona's friends and whilst most of the group was both accepting of Callie as Arizona's partner and hugely sympathetic to her memory loss, not everything had been plain sailing.

"I completely understand their point of view, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that your precious Amy and Nic were unable to see that I had a point of view as well."

"Callie, this was a huge deal and I don't think you fully grasped that."

Callie shot a furious look at Arizona and then viciously dragged the steering wheel to one side and crossed 2 lanes of traffic, ignoring the blares of horns and Arizona's gasp of shock as she parked on the side of the road.

Switching the engine off she turned in her seat and stared at Arizona, trying hard to keep a firm grip on her temper.

"Why?"

"Cal, what the hell?...you nearly caused an accident just then..."

"Why wouldn't I get that repealing DADT is a huge deal?"

Arizona chewed her lip and tried for a diplomatic response. She instinctively knew that she had been a little dismissive earlier.

"I'm just saying that for some people, who have been invested in this debate for such a long time, any criticism of the repeal is going come across as antagonistic."

"Nice response, Arizona, real smooth. But you didn't answer the question. And FYI, I didn't criticise the repeal, I simply said that I thought it would have limited impact."

Callie closed her eyes for a second and snapped them open again to stare at Arizona.

"Neither Nic or Amy are actually in the military are they? Nic's an investment banker and what was it Amy does again...tree-hugger for hire?"

Arizona tried not to grin, she knew that it would infuriate Callie right now.

"Amy's an environmentalist, she advises..."

"Whatever. Neither one of them is a serving officer. Their insight isn't going to be much greater than mine."

The problem is that your friends didn't think that I had anything to contribute to the discussion. And neither did you."

"That's not true, Calliope…." Arizona started to defend herself, a little uncomfortable at the charge.

"Why shouldn't I have an opinion? What? I've not been gay long enough?"

"No. I'm not saying that. It's just they've been invested in this argument ..."

"And I haven't?"

"Callie, why would Don't Ask Don't Tell even matter to you before…..before now? It's not such an unreasonable supposition for Nic to make. "

Callie cocked her head, trying to express her thoughts more coherently.

"Let me see if I can explain it a little better then," she started, pulling her thoughts together and dampening down her rising annoyance at Arizona and her friends.  
"As an American and as a patriot," she added, a little pointedly, "I was proud and happy that Barak Obama was elected as our president. With our history, it was a huge deal for us as a nation to discard centuries of prejudice and get behind him." She shot a quick look at Arizona. "Yes, yes, I know not every American got behind him but enough of us did." She frowned slightly, returning to her original train of thought.

"I'm not black, I'm hardly a minority and I'm not trying to co-opt the African American experience or even claim that I fully understand everything about all the different facets of the African-American experience but I was proud of what this country was able to achieve. I didn't think electing him to the White House would signal an end to racism but I was invested in his candidacy and in his government. I didn't need to be black to share in the joy and optimism at his inauguration; Arizona and I don't need to be a card-carrying lesbian of a 100 years standing to have an opinion on Don't Ask Don't Tell."

Callie drew a deep breath and carried on. She could see Arizona digesting her argument but she wasn't quite done yet.

"And, just so we're clear what I said was that I wasn't sure repealing DADT would necessarily make it any easier to come out or to serve in the military. I also said that it was good thing that at least serving gay and lesbian officers could do their job without fear of a court-marshal."

"Just because I'm a late arrival to the party doesn't mean I don't have a brain cell or an opinion to offer... and you know what?" Callie felt her ire rise again as she possibly came to the root of her annoyance.

"Actually, I don't give a crap about your friends or what they think of me, if you can deal with Mark Sloan, I sure as hell can deal with a few condescending remarks from Nic and Amy. But what I expected was a little support from you, Arizona. Anything that didn't imply that you still thought of me as a frigging newborn."

Arizona looked at Callie with no small amount of regret.

"You remembered that, huh?"

Callie tilted her head and ignored the question, silently pressing for an answer.

Arizona sighed and tried to be honest with herself and with Callie.

"I don't ...consciously think of you as a newborn, Callie. Honestly, I don't but I'd be lying if I didn't say that some old habits are hard to break." She reached out and gently touched Callie's cheek with her hand, a little saddened at the lack of response.

"Almost all of my friends are..lesbians and..." she continued carefully.

Callie turned back in her seat and switched the ignition on.

"And came out at 16 and have never been anywhere near a man. I get it, I'm a bit of a departure for you, Arizona. I'm sorry if I blotted your copybook." She eased back into traffic without looking in Arizona's direction.

"Calliope, that's unfair." Arizona sighed, a little hurt at Callie's response even though she knew she deserved it.

"Yeah, ok, sorry about that." Callie didn't sound particularly contrite at her barbed comment.

Arizona sat quietly for a moment and then spoke into the heavy silence.

"I know the few times we've all met up for drinks some of them have been a little ... rough on you. I'll talk to them ..."

"Don't you dare do anything of the sort, Arizona. I promise you I can handle a couple of supercilious women, lesbians or otherwise. I can fight my own battles, Arizona. If I think it's worth it."

Arizona, uncertain whether there was a cryptic message in Callie's last comment decided to let the matter rest. On reflection, there was a good chance that she owed Callie an apology but judging by the stiffness to her movements, now was probably not the best time.

#

Callie poked her head out of their bedroom. She was in her pj's and still had an irritated expression on her face. Her face was covered in her night moisturiser and it had the effect of making her scowl look like it was encased in plastic.

"What are you still doing?" Her voice was querulous.

"Errrrr, I figured I'd come to bed later...like when you've calmed down a little." Arizona joked lightly but watched Callie's face closely.

They barely exchanged two words since they got home, Callie simply stating that she was taking a shower before going to bed.

Arizona couldn't quite figure out how much of Callie's anger was still directed at her but, more importantly, it was their first serious fight since they'd moved back in together and she was scared about the repercussions.

Callie narrowed her eyes.

"Ain't going to happen anytime soon, Arizona. Come to bed. You've an early start tomorrow, you need your sleep." Callie paused and frowned a little more.

"And I want my goodnight kiss and cuddle."

Arizona raised her eyebrows. She had expected the argument to carry on or for Callie to bristle for the rest of the night.

"You want ...?"

"Arizona darling, don't get me wrong. I am still pissed off at you but it simply means that I have to work harder to make sure that you understand me better and I'm going have to try harder to see your point of view. " She cocked her head, considering.

"Although, Arizona, to be honest with you, you really didn't have a valid point of view tonight."

"Callie, I'm sorry..." Arizona began but Callie shook her head.

"I'm in love with you. It's going to take a hell of a lot more than this annoying squabble to change that fact."

Inexplicably, Arizona could see Callie's anger dissipate.

Callie beckoned Arizona, a half smile on her face.

"Now, come to bed woman, my feet are getting cold."

#

"Hey sweetie, I'm home." Arizona called out as she entered the apartment after her shift.

"Calliope, hon where are you?" She got herself a bottle of water and wandered to the door of their bedroom where she was confronted with most of the contents of Callie's wardrobe strewn across the bed and floor.

"Ummm, you looking for something?" Arizona aimed her amused question at Callie's butt as her partner scrabbled about under the bed.

"Arizona. Right. Get in here, now. Have you been moving my stuff again?" Callie emerged from under the bed red-face and annoyed and Arizona's smile widened at the flushed features and tousled hair.

"What are you looking for?"

Callie got to her feet and blew her hair out of her face.

"Have you been tidying up again? I thought we agreed that I didn't need to adopt your insane and creepy methods of keeping my shit together."

"I haven't anywhere near your stuff," Arizona lied blithely peering over Callie's shoulder and into the depths of her wardrobe. Now that it was nearly empty she might have the opportunity of hang all Callie's clothes in a more acceptable order.

"What are you looking for?" she persisted and realised that Callie was looking slightly uncomfortable.

Callie paused for moment, clearly sizing Arizona up.

"Calliope?" She queried slowly. Somehow she had a feeling she wasn't going to like Callie's reply.

"I can't find my boxing gloves anywhere. Have you seen them?" Callie waited for the explosion.

It wasn't long in coming.

"You promised me you'd give up boxing. You absolutely promised." Arizona burst out, her eyes bright and furious.

"I haven't..."

"You haven't...what...what? You haven't broken any bones? It's only a matter of time...Your hands, Callie, think of your hands. You could ruin your career if you broke a bone or..."

Callie took in a deep breath.

"Arizona, it was boxercise not boxing and..."

"...broken nose... you're an orthopaedic surgeon, Callie..."

...it was never actual contact boxing." Callie quickly inserted, realising that Arizona was not going to let her get a word in, edgewise or any other way.

"You say it like it makes any difference, you're still placing your hands in jeopardy by..." Arizona was on a roll.

"I stopped using the body bag when I said I would, Arizona." Callie spoke clearly, irritation creeping into her voice.

Arizona stilled and fixed Callie with a stare.

"Then what do you need the gloves for?"

Callie's exasperation grew.

"Arizona, tell me where the hell you've put the gloves. What I need them for has got nothing to do with boxing or exercise." She went a little pale.

"You didn't throw them out or anything did you?"

"Why are you acting so weird?" Arizona considered Callie suspiciously.

She really didn't want Callie anywhere near boxing or the accoutrements of the sport but Callie looked distinctly upset at the thought that the gloves might have been thrown away.

Disproportionately so.

Callie shrugged and waited for an answer.

Arizona twisted her lips a little and went over to her closet and pulled out a large shoe box and handed it over to Callie.

"I didn't throw them out, though I was tempted." Arizona admitted.

"You still have to promise you're not going to take up boxercise or anything that will break your wonderful hands."

"I swear you made me make the same promise last year," Callie grumbled, still half annoyed, clutching the box closely, unaware that a new memory had sneaked its way into her brain.

Arizona smiled and tweaked Callie's ear. She could tell that Callie was still a little annoyed that she had hidden her gloves, so much so that she hadn't noticed her reference to their past.

"You still have to promise me again, though. Like a renewal or something. C'mon, you know it'll make me happy."

Despite herself and her desperate need to find her gloves, Callie felt a bubble of laughter rise up her chest.

"You are such a pain sometimes, you know that?" She said the words lovingly, smile creeping across her face.

Callie shifted on the bed slightly, creating a space and patted the bed lightly.

"Come, sit with me, I need to talk to you about something." Correctly reading the question in Arizona's eyes, Callie smiled encouragingly. "It's good, baby...I think...it's nothing bad at all."

Arizona sat down and turned to face Callie.

"Tell me what's on your mind."

Callie leaned into her and placed a kiss on her lips, tasting her, dipping her tongue into Arizona's sweetness.

"I love you, Arizona. OK?"

"Okay..."

Callie drew a deep breath and straightened her shoulders.

"I've been thinking of Gary Clarke."

At Arizona's slight gasp, Callie rushed to explain.

"Not about him specifically or the shooting...I still don't remember any of that. I've been thinking about his impact on ...on us."

"OK." Arizona offered a smile of encouragement, even though she was a little apprehensive.

"And I've been thinking about why I keep having this dream..."

"You're still having that nightmares, Callie; you told me they'd stopped?" Arizona interrupted, unable to contain her concern or annoyance.

"I really wish you wouldn't hide things from to me, Callie or tell me fibs..."

Her slightly critical comment halted Callie and she stood up for a second looking down at Arizona as she attempted to ignore the interruption.

"What? Like you don't lie to me?" She put her hand on her hip and adopted an exaggerated falsetto mimicking Arizona's voice. "Oh Callie, I didn't touch your wardrobe or put your clothes in an insanely over-organized order. I promise I didn't. Hand on heart." Dramatically, Callie crossed her hands over her heart and then stared at Arizona who blushed.

"I don't sound like that," she muttered.

"Ok but you still lied about tidying up."

"That was a white lie, a little one."

"Fine. So was mine about my nightmares." Callie sat back down and turned to face Arizona.

"Arizona, this ... this is important, please listen to me honey, ok?"

Arizona swallowed and nodded once, her blue gaze fixed to Callie's serious face.

She wasn't obtuse and had an inkling where this conversation was headed. She felt a twist of pain because she had no real answers for Callie's questions.

"I keep thinking that if Gary Clarke hadn't come to the hospital, if he hadn't done those terrible things, we might never have got back together." Callie looked down at her hands, still clutching the shoe box and tried to marshal her thoughts into some semblance of order. She offered a weak smile to the silent woman at her side.

"It's a painful, sobering thought, Arizona, that we might have lost everything, we might have lost each other forever, if it hadn't been for him. And the thought unsettles me." She paused, still trying to gather her thoughts. Her eyes roamed Arizona's beloved face and despite her conviction in what she was doing, her eyes filled with tears.

"Calliope...?" Arizona whispered and cupped her cheek.

"When I went to Miami, as miserable, as utterly desolate as I felt, I didn't dream of you leaving me. Not once. I didn't have the nightmare at all. While we were apart I didn't dream of you leaving me. But the minute I got back, the minute we started getting close again, I started to see you walk away from me again. In my dreams, Arizona, the one place that I should have been safe and happy, I dreamt of losing you."

Arizona held herself still and tried not to cry at Callie's words. It hurt to know that she had been in so much pain. She felt guilt at the fact that her actions had caused Callie to have the recurring nightmare.

"I've been working it out with Wyatt and I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel guilty or worried." Callie smiled through her tears.

"I love you so much. I can't conceive of not loving you. I can't understand that woman who woke from a coma and didn't know who you were." Callie put her hand up and covered Arizona's hand with hers.

"You're my heart Arizona and I'm sorry I ever let you go. I'm sorry that I didn't fight for you, back then. I should have known how much you meant to me...but I didn't and even though we might like to think that somehow we'd have worked things out... it took the actions of a mad man to bring us back together. I didn't win you back, Arizona, I didn't earn your love and in a strange way, it ties into how I feel about things now." Her voice had grown stronger, the tears dried, leaving her dark velvety gaze sparkling, bright and determined.

She reached down for the box and looked in each glove, whilst Arizona looked on curiously.

Heaving a deep sigh of relief Callie plucked a small velvet box out of one of the gloves and held it in her palm.

Arizona felt her heart stutter to a standstill for the longest minute and then kick start like a racehorse approaching the finishing line at the Kentucky Derby.

"What you did you me... for us over the last few months was simply miraculous...you fought for us like you believed that one day it would all be alright. You believed in me when I didn't believe in you or myself. You stayed after all the shit I put you through. Anyone else would have walked away, Arizona but you stayed." Callie stared in Arizona's eyes, the sheen of tears had returned and she fought to keep her emotions in check.

"You... you love me in a way that I can only thank god for because you take my breath away, every minute of every day. "

Callie grasped Arizona's hand and raised it to her lips, dropping a kiss on her knuckles.

"I think I kept having those dreams because I didn't think that I deserved your love then and a part of me still feels that way. I ... I think the dream was a manifestation of my insecurities, of my fears that I didn't deserve you."

Arizona was shaking her head, her own eyes bright with unshed tears.

"Callie... you don't have to _earn _my love..."

"Hush, I haven't finished yet." Callie ran her hands through Arizona's blonde hair, loving the softness of the strands as her fingers played with the tendrils.

"I know that now isn't the right time, there is still so much I have to learn about you and about our new life together but I want to have a life with you Arizona not just because I loved you before but because I love you now. I want the chance to love you forever."

Callie opened up the velvet box and pulled out the sapphire and ruby ring. A little awkwardly, she placed it in Arizona's palm.

"You don't have to wear it now, I don't mind but I wanted you to have this because it's a pledge of my love and my intention to keep on loving you, to strive to earn the love you've given to me, to be deserving of it. I want to share my life with you, Arizona." Callie pulled in a deep breath and laid her heart down, unafraid; strengthen by the force of the love that she knew they shared.

"Arizona Robbins, would you do me the honour of sharing your life with me?

#

Callie stared at the open package and placed her hand on her heart. The muscle was tripping over itself with an unnamed emotion.

Callie thought that she might actually be a little scared.

"Arizona Katherine Robbins, what did you do?"

"I swear to god, I didn't do anything." Arizona practically wailed.

They'd already had this conversation, short though it was, twice, each time Callie demanding to know what Arizona had done and Arizona denying all knowledge of any wrong doing.

Callie fixed her with a steely gaze.

"Stand there, stare me in the eye and tell me this isn't a family heirloom."

The open package contained a beautiful, pastel-coloured, silk-lined gift box. Nestled carefully within the gift box was a weather-beaten, leather bound book. The spine was cracked and there were loose pages stuffed in between the leaves. It was clearly extremely old, quite possibly an antique and Callie was almost too scared to touch it, for fear of the book disintegrating into a thousand flakes. The words _Kincaid Family Cook Book_ were embossed in the faded red leather, the gold leaf long gone but leaving a clear impression of the words.

Callie scrabbled in a draw and found a pair of latex gloves and used a single finger to open the book , wincing as the leather creaked a little.

There was a faded inscription on the front page, most of the words now too faint to be read.

_To my darling daughter, Jess on her ..._

The rest of the words had been lost to time.

The thick parchment pages were covered in large, perfectly formed handwriting, every other page filled with sketches of food and game and vegetables.

It was Nonna's cookbook and Callie couldn't understand why Mary would have sent her such a precious gift.

"Arizona?"

"Calliope, call mom and talk to her about this." Arizona was slightly distracted, both pleased and scared at what meaning her parents had attached to the gift of the cook book.

"Is this a family heirloom?" Callie demanded, watching Arizona like a hawk.

Arizona twisted her lips and after a moment, nodded her head. She was in a difficult position, she genuinely didn't know what might have transpired between her parents and Callie before her memory loss but it would be unfair of her to intimate something she wasn't entirely sure of. Her hand went to chest and she played with the jewel around her neck.

"Arizona, this belongs to you, it belongs in your family..."

"You're my family, Callie." Arizona finally blurted out.

"I...I think it's my parent's way of saying that... that they love you as much as I do."

Callie blinked the sudden tears back at the gesture. She spoke to Mary every couple of weeks and though she found Colonel Robbins somewhat formidable, realised that he was an intelligent man with varied interests, including what was going on in his daughter's life.

"Arizona...this is so beautiful...I don't know what to say."

_It looks like a wedding present._

The thought jumped into Callie's head and smile came to her face.

Perhaps she would call Mary after all.

#

Callie read out the ingredients and hoped to avert a fight.

"Sweetheart, it was a flippant and insensitive thing to say. I'm sorry. Truly I am."

Arizona eyed her with a narrowed gaze and pursed lips and considered the apology for all of a tenth of a second.

"Oh no. No way are you wriggling out of that bombshell with a charming little apology, Callie." Arizona ground out, her arms folded tightly across her chest.  
"I didn't say it to upset you, Arizona. It's just an expression."Callie sighed.

She looked down at the Kincaid Family book in its special protective case and shot a look at Arizona who was glaring at her from across the breakfast bar.  
"We need cayenne pepper. We got any?"  
"Try looking in the cupboard." Arizona responded unhelpfully. She watched Callie hunt around in the cupboards and tried to ignore the sight of Callie's flared hips and curved ass. Her fingers tingled with the desire to fondle her toned bottom but she reminded herself that she was pissed off at her lover.  
"I still want you to explain."  
"Arizona." Callie sighed.  
"Calliope." Arizona insisted.  
"I swear, it's just an expression. Sometimes we have sex and other times we make love." She looked over at Arizona's stern face and tried to explain better and quickly.

"You know how you feel when we go for a run or play a hard game of squash? All hot and tingly with the endorphins racing through you?"

"So...let me see if I've got this right, you're equating our intimacy with a game of squash? Really, Callie Really?"

_OK, perhaps that was a poor choice of examples._

"No Arizona, not really. Not like that."  
"It's not a big deal, I promise. Doesn't matter what I'm doing, I still love you. Sometimes it's loving intimacy and sometimes it's loving fun. Either way, it's always loving. Deep, abiding, everlasting loving."

Callie looked over at Arizona to see if her words had helped in soothing Arizona's aggrieved sensibilities. She had very firm ideas about love and romance and Callie had effectively put a dent in their romance.  
"But what exactly is the difference?" Arizona had marginally softened at Callie's words. But only marginally.  
"Is it crude semantics or do you feel differently towards me depending on what you think we're doing?"  
Callie massaged olive oil into the chicken portions and wished she'd learn to keep her mouth shut.  
"Crude semantics would be to call it rooting like rabbits," she grinned despite herself at Arizona's face  
"...Or rubbing uglies."  
"I've never called it that," she defended herself immediately at Arizona's horrified expression.

"Who...calls ...it ...that?" Arizona asked faintly, aghast at the thought.

"Australians." Callie replied blithely, chopping onions.  
"Look, emotions can be fluid right? You know that. I know you've made love to me even while you've been pissed off at me for something. You love me, you were mad at me and you wanted me, all at the same time."  
Arizona blushed at the truth of that statement  
"C'mon don't be such a girl. It's not like you've never had a one night stand before is it?"  
Arizona narrowed her eyes. She couldn't recall if she'd had that conversation with Callie since she lost her memories.  
"Don't change the subject." She ignored both the insult and the question.  
"You still haven't told me what you consider the difference to be."

She screwed her face into a frown, momentarily forgetting the fact that Callie always found her stern face adorable and never took her seriously when she made it.  
"Seriously, I want to know. When are we making love and when are we just having sex?" Her voice was still a little stiff and Callie sighed again.  
"We never _just _have sex Arizona. I hope you get that."

She paused and considered her words a little more carefully this time.  
"Sometimes I feel that there is an added emotional dimension to what we do or I want to be extra close and intimate with you and _that_ always feels like lovemaking to me."  
"Like when? Give me some examples." Arizona demanded.  
"Arizona." Callie sighed again.  
"No, I'm serious. Should I take notes or create a schedule so I know what to expect?"

Callie rolled her eyes in exasperation.  
"How about last night? What was last night out here on the couch?"  
Callie's lids lowered and she shot a hot look at Arizona, who, despite her annoyance, shivered with remembered passion.  
"Last night you made love to me Arizona, sweetly with your mouth. You took complete care of my needs after I had a rotten day and you made me feel cherished. That was total love-making."

Arizona narrowed her eyes, unsatisfied.

"What about a couple of weeks ago at the charity benefit?" At Callie's burst of laughter, she reddened.

"What?" she demanded, trying to brazen it out.

"The night you gave me this?" Callie held up her forearm with a faint shadow of teeth marks still visible. Callie had followed Arizona into a bathroom stall at the ultra-exclusive venue and had taken her from behind, pushing aside her evening gown and panties and slowly thrusting her fingers into Arizona. In a bid to keep her cries as quiet as possible, Arizona had sunk her teeth into Callie's arm.

"That was your fault."

"Flashing your suspenders and stocking at me all night? Sure that was my fault." Callie grinned at Arizona.

"You bought them for me and you followed me into that bathroom." Arizona shivered again at the things that Callie did to her.

"Fine but you know full well that it was mad, passionate sex."

Arizona tapped her foot, frustrated at Callie's responses. She was gleaning an understanding of what Callie meant but it annoyed her and upset her sense of romance.

"What about last week, the night we went to the movies?"

"Before or after?"

"Both."

"Before was sex. Someone just had to have a taste."

Arizona blushed again but smiled at the memory of the pair of them, Callie crushed against the door, jeans around their ankles and their fingers buried inside of each other. That particular session had been precipitated by Arizona insisting on tasting Callie's cherry-flavoured lip gloss just as they were about to leave the apartment. They'd missed the coming attractions.

"And after?" Arizona knew that what they shared in the car in the underground parking lot, though fast and illicit, had been love-making.

Callie looked up and smiled at her, slow and sweet and tender.

"That was love-making, Arizona, you know that."

Arizona did know that. They had got into the car and Callie had dropped a kiss on her lips and then unzipped Arizona's jeans, and stroked her clit until she came in a wet, shuddering rush. Callie had looked into Arizona's eyes the whole time and Arizona had seen the sheen of tears in Callie's eyes.

"But why? What was different about that time?"

Callie shrugged lightly as she continued to prepare the chicken.

"The film simply made me want to be close to you Arizona. It made me want to give you pleasure."

"The guy gives up everything to find meaning in his life?" Thinking back on the time Callie gave up her family and trust fund, she understood how Callie could relate.

"No. Not because he gave stuff up...but because he was searching for meaning in his life." Callie put down the knife and stared intently at Arizona.

"I'm not that guy anymore. I'm not rootless and alone and afraid. My life has meaning, Arizona. Loving you...being loved _by_ you gives me meaning. It doesn't matter what day it is, it doesn't matter what happens, I wake up and the one immutable fact is that I love you, Arizona. And you love me. Nothing else really matters. Nothing."

Arizona tilted her head at Callie and felt her heart melt.

There really was no antidote for what Callie did to her, and if there was Arizona didn't want the cure.

Callie's words were sincere, the truth was shining out of her dark eyes but she grinned cheekily at the melting Arizona.

"I totally scored just then, didn't I? Am I about to get lucky?"

Arizona shook her head slightly, half amused and completely unsurprised that Callie could read her emotions so easily. Though the memories hadn't returned, the love had. The love that Callie had within her, before the amnesia, was expressed in both word and deed every day since their second _first_ dinner date.

"No, you're not getting lucky." Arizona shot her down with an amused grin and a hard kiss.

"At least not until you finish marinating that chicken. You're supposed to be feeding me, young lady."

Arizona twisted her lips and allowed the love she felt from Calliope wash over her.

There was no better feeling in the world and despite her previous annoyance at Callie's distinctions between love-making and sex; she knew that the time had come.

She leaned into Callie again, grasping her head between her hands and gave her a deep sensual kiss. She stroked her tongue deeply into Callie's mouth and then drew back just a little, feeling the smile on her lover's face against her lips.

"Seriously….I'm about to get some good loving, right? Let me wash my hands."

"Whoa there, slow down, girl. I …..I want to tell you something….I want to ask you something."

Callie looked at her and grinned.

"Whatever it is, the answer is yes."

Arizona smiled at her and then inexplicably, her blue eyes filled with tears.

"Arizona…baby... what is it?"

"I want to wear your ring now, Calliope, please may I?"

She pulled at the silver necklace around her neck that carried both their silver heart but also the sapphire and ruby ring.

Callie turned and ran her hands under the tap, her heart pounding at Arizona's words.

She had been telling the truth when she'd given Arizona the ring, that she didn't mind if she wore it or not and it had warmed her heart when she found out that Arizona wore the ring around her neck. But that she wanted to wear it know filled her heart with joy.

Rubbing her hands along her jeans to dry them, Callie reached around Arizona's neck and undid the clasp and held the ring between her fingers.

Staring into her blue eyes, Callie pushed the ring on to Arizona's finger and then dropped a kiss on her knuckles.

Callie felt an indescribable peace settle over her.

"Thank you, my darling girl." she whispered in Arizona's ear and then kissed her.

Arizona pulled Callie into her arms and held her with all her might. She wanted to cry so badly, she was so full of joy that she could barely stand it but there was something else she had to do.

"Hold on a second, baby, ok?" She withdrew from Callie embrace and dashed to the bedroom. Abstractedly she realised that Callie had kept her promise of not going back to the boxing gym. She had since borrowed Callie's hiding place for the exact same reason.

She came back to the living room to find Callie watchfully waiting for her to return.

Even before she could say anything, Callie caught her up in her arms and swung her about before kissing her hard.

"You make me so happy," she said simply.

Arizona opened her closed hand to reveal a single perfect solitaire diamond ring.

She looked into Callie's eyes and read the pleasure and the joy that blossomed in her gaze.

"Calliope, I love you. I want to share my life with you…I want to marry you…. I want you to marry me. Will you?"

By way of response, Callie extended her ring finger and then sighed with satisfaction as Arizona slid the ring home.

She looked at the ring for a second and then leaned forward and rubbed her nose against Arizona's before kissing her again.

"Ummmm. Now that you've agreed to marry me, I guess I should tell you that it's going to be a very long engagement, Calliope darling. I hope you don't mind."

Callie narrowed her eyes and considered the mildly contrite but clearly over the moon Arizona. She knew it made sense but she wasn't giving in that easy.

"How long is very long?" she asked suspiciously sneaking another kiss.

"18 months?" Arizona was teasing. She wouldn't wait that long.

"No chance, 6months?" Callie countered, knowing that Arizona was toying with her.

"12 months and it will give us time to plan what we want to do."

"Done." Callie grinned at Arizona, her beam so wide it nearly split her face in two.

She gathered Arizona up in her arms and walked her backwards, towards the bedroom.

"Now you promised me some loving, woman."

#

"When did you get the ring?"

Arizona rolled over and settled her chin on Callie's chest. They were both still covered with the glow of their love-making and she could hear Callie's heart beat solidly beneath her hands.

She dropped a kiss on the side of Callie's breast and smiled.

"When you went to Miami."

Callie leaned up and stroked her hand through Arizona's damp hair.

"I had to believe that you'd come back to me." She answered Callie's unspoken question.

"I know I was a bitch when you left but I finally figured out it was something you needed to do but I also knew that I had to believe that things would somehow come together. I loved you and I wasn't about to let that go again. Buying the ring was kind of a physical embodiment of all my hopes and dreams for us, Calliope. It reminded me to have faith."

Callie didn't have any words that could express the devotion she felt for Arizona, how humbled she was by her love.

"You are everything to me Arizona. Everything."

At that point Arizona's stomach rumbled loud and prolonged causing them both to laugh.

"Jeez, talk about killing the moment," Callie giggled as she sat up.

"You were supposed have fed me hours ago." Arizona mock complained, her eyes appreciatively running over Callie's body.

"Honey, you did just eat." Callie grinned slyly at Arizona watching her blush at her reference to their earlier activity.

"You have such a dirty mouth, Calliope." Arizona admonished, trying not to laugh or allow the innuendo cloud her mind. She was hungry for food right now.

"And you love every single thing this dirty mouth does to you, Arizona." Callie's voice had deepened and her eyes had taken on that hooded gaze that let Arizona know exactly what was on her mind.

Arizona was seriously considering foregoing lunch altogether in favour of allowing Callie to ravish her but her stomach had other ideas and this time kicked up such a racket that Callie nearly rolled off the bed, she laughed so hard.

"Alright, alright. I'll go sort out the meal."

….

"Cayenne pepper always makes me sneeze," Callie complained lightly as she sprinkled the condiment over the chicken.

Arizona looked up and smiled absently as she typed an email.

"I know, baby."

Her fingers paused and a slow chill ran through her body. The thought of Callie's sneezing was painful in the extreme.

Arizona looked over at Callie who was wrinkling her nose as she cooked, completely unaware of the torment that her words had aroused in her fiancée.

Sneezing couldn't actually do any damage to Callie, Arizona was aware of this. Her logical, medical brain told her that there was nothing to fear.

But the memory of what those sneezes had done made Arizona tremble. She stood and walked towards Callie in the kitchen.

"Cal…. Calliope. Do you…. do you really need the Cayenne pepper? Couldn't you just leave it out?"

Callie looked up, surprised at Arizona's words and then narrowed her eyes. Arizona was flushed and trembling a little. Something had upset her.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"I just don't want you to …." Her words were interrupted by a booming sneeze from Callie.

She jumped and nearly fell over her own feet as she rushed over to Callie.

"Holy mother of god…that was huge…" Callie pinched the bridge of her nose and then started to grin before another massive sneeze rocked her.

"I swear I just loosened a lung." She looked up and saw the pure terror in Arizona's eyes and then everything stopped for a long moment. She could hear her heart beat painfully in her chest, every beat sending blood coursing through her veins and arteries. She could hear the sound of Arizona's breath rushing through her nostrils, shaky, rapid and scared. As if through a tunnel she could hear her lover's voice, calling to her, her words indistinct.

Pain blossomed behind Callie eyes and bright vivid images and a myriad of voices, fragments of sound shattering into a thousand pieces, each one representing a memory that she thought had been lost forever.

"_There will be people lining up for you."_

Warmth trickling through her at the sight of the blonde woman as she smiled and walked out of Joe's bathroom.

An injured man, bloody and with a gun standing before her.

"_I think you'll know."_

George O'Malley lifeless and unrecognisable.

Her heart pounding as she waited for Arizona to finish her shift and come home to her.

Her first day at Mercy West, treating an uncomfortable Chief Webber.

Arizona crying on her shoulder, her tears seeping through the navy blue scrubs_._

Her, screaming at her own father_…"You can't pray away the gay."_

"_I like the girl who has the sandwiches."_

Six teenagers dying on her watch.

Arizona's blue eyes shining up at her as they made love for the first time.

A fleeting kiss in a elevator, filled with pain and loss and desperation and love.

"_I love you." _The softness of her voice, the love in Arizona's eyes as Callie sat there with a noisemaker and a plate of doughnuts_._

"_There are only children here. There are only children here."_

Arizona flinging her body over little Ruby's, shielding the child from Gary Clarke.

Her pain at their separation.

Arizona's tears as she leaned into Callie's palm, reassured by her presence, her love and protection.

"_We'll have all kinds of kids."_

The feeling of unconfined joy as the kissed_._

"_I can't live without you and our 10 kids," _

Speaking to Arizona's parents and asking for their blessing.

Arizona watching the ultra-violent The Wire and loving it.

Arizona's smile.

Arizona's touch.

Callie remembered Arizona's love. She remembered her love for Arizona.

Callie staggered, the emotions almost overwhelming, she felt Arizona's arms close about her and she hung on to them, hung on to Arizona.

"Calliope, sweetie, please tell you're ok. Please tell me you're ok?" Arizona tilted Callie's face up and peered into her eyes, fear stamped all over her face.

"Arizona…" Callie's voice was faint, the pain was receding and she was in shock at what had just happened.

"Maybe we should go to Neuro and have Derek check you out….. you're in pain."

"Arizona, stop …I'm fine...I'm fine." Callie's voice was firmer and a smile spread across her face.

"I'm better than fine. We'll go to Derek later I just need you to hold me right now, hold me and tell me you love me and how you plan to manage 10 kids."

Arizona, still rigid with fright dragged Callie close, not understanding the words. She murmured into Callie's shoulder for a heartbeat and then pulled away, tears already streaming down her face, hardly daring to believe what she had just heard.

"Calliope…what did you just say?"

Callie stared at Arizona, at her disbelief and joy and felt her own tears fall.

"I think ….. I think I remember. I remember what it felt like to have you love me for the first time, I remember what it was like to know that you were safe when Gary Clarke left the Paeds ward, I remember what it felt like to love you in the very beginning."

She wrapped her arms around Arizona's neck and kissed her.

"Whatever else there might be, I remember the love that we shared, every bit of it …I…." She paused, her eyebrows rising a little.

"I remember that elevator ride on the night of the opera." She laughed lightly at Arizona's blushes.

"I remember what it felt like to love you then, Arizona."

She shook her head in amazement.

"It's like I was walking through fog and cloud and suddenly the sun shone and broke though, Arizona." Callie realised that her hands were shaking.

"I sneezed and it shook everything free, all of the memories and thoughts and words and images were just stored up in my brain, just waiting to be set free."

Arizona could feel her entire body tremble in shock.

There was a portion of her brain that was numb and even a small part that wondered if this was just an illusion.

Her heart beat so fast and hard it hurt.

"Calliope..." She found that she couldn't actually form any words and the tears fell harder.

Callie grabbed Arizona and rocked her in her arms. She buried her face in her blonde hair and murmured quietly.

"I love you Arizona. I will never stop loving you and maybe I'll get a tattoo, like that guy in Memento, because I never want to forget this feeling.

Despite herself, Arizona started to laugh through her tears as Callie's words.

#

After a long phone consultation with Wyatt, Callie tossed the phone aside and smiled down at Arizona, who was curled up in her lap.

"Comfy?"

"Mmmmm," Arizona responded sleepily.

She was exhausted and guessed that Callie must be as well.

The last couple of hours had seen them go to the hospital to see Derek and confirm that there was no physical damage or injury and then come home, speak to both sets of parents and numerous friends before finally speaking to Wyatt.

"Did you get all of that?"

Arizona nodded, her head cushioned on one of Callie's boobs.

It was a comfortable spot and she was loathe to move. For reasons that she couldn't quite determine, she'd been utterly unable to leave Callie's side all afternoon, going so far as to follow her into the bathroom.

"The long shot is that the sneezing was merely symbolic. It really didn't have anything to do with my memories but was a handy excuse for my brain to latch on once I'd unpicked my concerns about you and ...well, you know."

"You never needed to earn my love, Callie," she said, sleepily.

"Sure I did. I sure as hell made you work for mine." She dropped a kiss on the blonde head.

"Not deliberately."

"Anyway, what exactly did Wyatt say? From over here it seemed as if you did all of the talking."

"Yeah, Wyatt's has that effect, makes the patient do all the work." Callie looked down on Arizona.

"Sweetheart, we've had one hell of a day. How's about we call it a night, hmmm?"

Arizona raised her head and gave Callie a smile. It was a smile of love and happiness and sheer joy.

"Let's go to bed."

#

As they snuggled into the warmth of each other's bodies, a thought, a memory came to Callie.

"I like Imogen, sweetheart but I really can't stand Imelda. If we have twin daughters, we'll have to think of something else."

Arizona heard Callie's words in the depth of her dream but was too far gone to reply.

"Besides, I think I want a boy first. And we're not calling him Mark."

Arizona instinctively burrowed further into Callie's soft curves, her hand reaching out to squeeze between their bodies to find Callie's hand. She smiled in her sleep and dreamt of the woman she loved, tanned and heavy and beautiful and carrying their child.

_**THE END.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**So.**_

_**I had Callie sweep Arizona up in her arms a numbers of times. That really is a crock. It irritated me every time I wrote it because Callie isn't that much bigger than Arizona and is unlikely to do much Arizona-lifting without putting her back out but I was just too lazy to come up with a more appropriate way of expressing their romance. I doubt anyone cares but it bugged the hell out of me...**_

_**I know that there are spelling mistakes galore and grammatical errors abound throughout the story. I am sorry about that. I also know that there are a couple of continuity errors that I couldn't fix.**_

_**Trying to close out this story was always going to be problematic, whilst I knew that Callie would definitely get her memories back, it was what happened after that was a sticking point. Ho hum.**_

_**I'd like to say thanks so much to everyone who posted a comment or a review, it really was a pleasure reading what you had to say and was a major boost to my **__**ego **__**confidence as a writer. If nothing else I've learnt the value of editing...not that you can tell with this story. It was never meant to be this long or involved but there you go.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**goo**_

_**xx**_

Translations:

_You feel so good, my body is burning you for you, I'm burning for you. I love you. I love you so much._

_I love you. I love you so much. I don't want this feeling to end._

_I will love you forever, my darling._

_I want you to fuck me hard all night long._

92


End file.
